Stoicism, Bullying, and Beyond

1. Workplace mobbing is a form of psychological terrorism

Mobbing is an emotional assault. It begins when an individual becomes the target of disrespectful and harmful behavior. Through innuendo, rumors, and public discrediting, a hostile environment is created in which one individual gathers others to willingly, or unwillingly, participate in continuous malevolent actions to force a person out of the workplace.

Mobbing defined. Workplace mobbing is a systematic and prolonged attack on an individual by colleagues and/or superiors. It involves a range of tactics, from overt aggression to subtle undermining, aimed at isolating and discrediting the target.

Common tactics include:

• False accusations and rumors
• Social isolation and exclusion
• Withholding information or resources
• Excessive criticism or micromanagement
• Gaslighting and denial of the target's experiences

Impacts on targets. The psychological and physical effects of mobbing can be severe, including:

• Anxiety, depression, and PTSD
• Decreased self-esteem and confidence
• Physical health problems
• Career and financial consequences

2. Stoicism offers powerful tools for surviving workplace bullying

Stoicism is a philosophy to take with you when you find yourself the subject of acts of overt and covert aggression, rumors, innuendos, and false or unsubstantiated accusations in your workplace.

Ancient wisdom for modern problems. Stoicism, an ancient Greek and Roman philosophy, provides practical strategies for maintaining mental resilience and emotional stability in the face of adversity.

Key Stoic principles for targets:

• Focus on what you can control
• Cultivate inner virtue and strength
• Practice emotional regulation
• Maintain a broader perspective on life

Stoic exercises. The book introduces several Stoic practices tailored for mobbing targets, including:

• Morning and evening meditations
• Premeditating adversities
• Examining and reframing thoughts
• Practicing gratitude and perspective-taking

3. The dichotomy of control is essential for maintaining sanity

There are things which are within our power, and there are things which are beyond our power. Within our power are belief, impulse, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever depends upon us. Beyond our power are body, property, reputation, office, and, in a word, whatever are not properly our own affairs.

Focus on what you can control. The Stoic dichotomy of control teaches that we should focus our energy on what we can influence directly – our thoughts, actions, and attitudes – rather than external events or others' opinions.

In a mobbing situation, you can control:

• Your responses to provocations
• Your efforts to document incidents
• Your decision to seek support or legal advice
• Your commitment to maintaining integrity

Let go of what you can't control:

• Others' actions or opinions
• Organizational politics
• The ultimate outcome of the situation

4. Recognize what bullies cannot take from you without your consent

They can prevent your work from being treated justly in the workplace, they can exclude you from roles you formerly excelled in, and they can present all of this as somehow merited (or else deny any of it is happening, when the gaslight comes on). But they can't force you to do, say, or think anything which you don't think is right, appropriate, or truthful.

Maintain your integrity. Bullies may attack your reputation, work, and social standing, but they cannot take away your core values, dignity, or sense of self without your consent.

What bullies can't take:

• Your character and personal integrity
• Your skills and knowledge
• Your relationships outside of work
• Your ability to think critically and make choices

Reclaim your agency. Remember that you always have the power to choose your response to the situation, even if your choices are limited.

5. Document everything, but be cautious about certainty

When you are noting down things which are happening to you in your workplace, or online, which you experience as threatening or humiliating, you also need to be very careful that you honestly assess with what certainty you know these things.

Keep detailed records. Document all incidents of bullying or mobbing, including dates, times, locations, witnesses, and specific behaviors or comments.

Documentation tips:

• Use a non-work computer or notebook
• Include as much detail as possible
• Save any relevant emails, messages, or other evidence
• Note your level of certainty about each incident

Practice non-precipitancy. Be cautious about jumping to conclusions or assigning definite motives to ambiguous actions. Acknowledge when you're not certain about something.

6. Manage negative emotions through Stoic practices

For the Stoics, our emotions are shaped by attachments to what is beyond our control. At the same time, we can question these beliefs, and potentially thereby reshape our emotional life so it becomes more joyful, confident, and wise.

Emotions stem from beliefs. Stoicism teaches that our emotions are not direct responses to events, but rather to our judgments about those events.

Stoic techniques for emotional regulation:

• Examine your beliefs about the situation
• Question whether your emotional response is proportionate
• Practice reframing negative events
• Use self-distancing techniques (e.g., addressing thoughts in the second person)

Cultivate equanimity. The goal is not to eliminate emotions, but to respond to challenging situations with greater calm and clarity.

7. Premeditate adversities to reduce fear and anxiety

Rather than angsting over and over about what may happen, with the hidden hope that they won't, we should premeditate the very worst that can happen.

Prepare for the worst. The Stoic practice of premeditating adversities involves mentally rehearsing potential negative outcomes to reduce their psychological impact.

Benefits of premeditation:

• Reduces anxiety about future possibilities
• Helps you prepare practical responses
• Builds resilience and emotional readiness

How to practice:

1. Imagine a worst-case scenario in detail
2. Consider how you would feel and respond
3. Identify resources and strategies you could use
4. Recognize that you can handle more than you might think

8. Decide whether to stay and fight or move on

There is always a beyond to the workplace mobbing. It can just be hard to see it when targets are entangled in its web.

Assess your options. Carefully consider whether to stay in your current position and fight the mobbing, or to seek opportunities elsewhere.

Factors to consider:

• Your mental and physical health
• Financial implications
• Career prospects
• Support systems
• Legal options

Create a "Plan B". Develop a safety plan that includes:

• Updated resume and job search resources
• Financial planning
• Potential references
• Skills development opportunities

9. Seek justice, not vengeance, if pursuing legal action

Remember then that even winning procedural justice, an independent hearing wherein you or your representatives can put your case, is already a massive win for mobbing targets, given the forces often leagued against them once managerial support for the mobbing has been secured by the bullies.

Focus on fairness. If you choose to pursue legal action, maintain a focus on seeking justice and fair treatment, rather than revenge.

Preparing for legal action:

• Gather all relevant documentation
• Consult with an experienced attorney
• Prepare for potential retraumatization during proceedings
• Set realistic expectations about outcomes

Maintain perspective. Remember that the legal process can be lengthy and challenging. Stay focused on your long-term well-being and goals.

10. Cultivate inner strength and confidence through Stoic exercises

The Stoic sage does not "grin and bear it" like a martyr. The sage's grin comes from the confidence s/he has that fortune and others can only take away things he never needed to be fulfilled, whilst everything he needed for this was within his command, or at least his capacity to cultivate through hard work.

Develop Stoic resilience. Regular practice of Stoic exercises can help build inner strength and confidence to face ongoing challenges.

Key Stoic exercises for targets:

• Morning and evening reflections
• Gratitude practices
• Perspective-taking exercises
• Self-distancing techniques

Strive for eudaimonia. The Stoic goal is not just to endure hardship, but to flourish in spite of it by cultivating wisdom, justice, courage, and self-control.

Last updated: August 18, 2024