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A Handbook for New Stoics

A Handbook for New Stoics

How to Thrive in a World Out of Your Control - 52 Week-by-Week Lessons
by Massimo Pigliucci 2019 402 pages
4.07
1k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Master the dichotomy of control for inner peace

"Make it your study then to confront every harsh impression with the words, 'You are but an impression, and not at all what you seem to be.'"

Understand what you can control. The Stoic dichotomy of control distinguishes between what is within our power and what is not. Our judgments, values, and decisions are under our control, while external events, others' opinions, and material possessions are not. By focusing on what we can influence, we reduce unnecessary stress and anxiety.

Shift your perspective. When faced with challenging situations, pause and ask yourself: "Is this within my control?" If not, practice acceptance. If it is, take appropriate action. This mindset shift allows you to:

  • Reduce emotional reactivity
  • Increase personal responsibility
  • Improve decision-making
  • Enhance overall well-being

Practice daily. Implement the dichotomy of control in your daily life through:

  • Morning reflection on potential challenges
  • Mindful responses to unexpected events
  • Evening review of your reactions and judgments

2. Practice desire and aversion to shape character

"Remember that foul words or blows in themselves are no outrage, but your judgment that they are so. So when any one makes you angry, know that it is your own thought that has angered you."

Cultivate healthy desires. Focus on desiring things within your control, primarily your own virtuous thoughts and actions. This prevents frustration from unfulfilled external desires and aligns your goals with personal growth.

Manage aversions wisely. Instead of avoiding discomfort or failure, reframe aversions to focus on avoiding vices and unethical behavior. This approach builds resilience and character. Practice techniques like:

  • Negative visualization: Imagine losing what you value to appreciate it more
  • Voluntary discomfort: Intentionally experience mild hardships to build tolerance
  • Delay gratification: Postpone indulgences to strengthen self-control

3. Take intentional action aligned with virtue

"Men seek retirement in country house, on shore or hill; and you too know full well what that yearning means. Surely a very simple wish; for at what hour you will, you can retire into yourself."

Act with purpose. Align your actions with Stoic virtues: wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance. Before acting, consider:

  • Is this action wise and well-reasoned?
  • Does it contribute to the greater good?
  • Am I acting with courage and integrity?
  • Am I exercising self-control and moderation?

Fulfill your roles. Recognize and embrace your various roles in life (e.g., citizen, family member, professional) and strive to excel in them. This provides a framework for ethical decision-making and purposeful living.

Practice mindful action. Develop the habit of pausing before reacting, especially in challenging situations. Use this moment to:

  • Assess the situation objectively
  • Consider potential consequences
  • Choose a response aligned with Stoic principles

4. Cultivate mindfulness through the discipline of assent

"Of every action ask yourself, what does it mean for me? Shall I repent of it? A little while and I am dead, and there is an end of all."

Examine your impressions. Pay close attention to your initial thoughts and reactions to events. Question whether these impressions align with reality and Stoic principles. This practice helps you:

  • Identify and challenge cognitive distortions
  • Respond rationally rather than emotionally
  • Develop a more objective worldview

Withhold judgment. Train yourself to pause before immediately assenting to or rejecting an impression. This creates space for reasoned analysis and prevents impulsive reactions.

Reframe negative thoughts. When faced with challenging impressions:

  1. Acknowledge the thought or emotion
  2. Question its validity and usefulness
  3. Reframe it in a more constructive, Stoic manner

5. Embrace difficulties as opportunities for growth

"The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way."

Reframe obstacles. View challenges not as setbacks, but as opportunities to practice virtue and develop character. This perspective shift transforms difficulties into valuable growth experiences.

Practice premeditation. Regularly contemplate potential adversities to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. This reduces the shock of unexpected challenges and improves your ability to respond effectively.

Find the silver lining. In every difficult situation, ask yourself:

  • What virtue can I practice here?
  • What can I learn from this experience?
  • How can this challenge make me stronger?

6. Develop emotional resilience through Stoic exercises

"When you relax your attention for a little, do not imagine that you will recover it wherever you wish; but bear this well in mind that your error of today must of necessity put you in a worse position for other occasions."

Practice self-discipline. Regularly engage in exercises that strengthen your ability to control impulses and emotions:

  • Cold showers or temperature extremes
  • Fasting or dietary restrictions
  • Technology fasts or social media breaks

Cultivate equanimity. Develop a balanced emotional state through:

  • Meditation on impermanence
  • Practicing gratitude for what you have
  • Reflecting on the insignificance of external events

Journal for self-reflection. Maintain a Stoic journal to:

  • Review your thoughts and actions
  • Identify areas for improvement
  • Reinforce Stoic principles

7. Foster a cosmic perspective for equanimity

"You are a little soul carrying about a corpse, as Epictetus used to say. . . . All is ephemeral, both that which remembers and that which is remembered."

Contemplate the vastness of the universe. Regularly reflect on your place in the grand scheme of things. This cosmic perspective helps:

  • Reduce attachment to trivial concerns
  • Increase appreciation for life's fleeting nature
  • Foster a sense of interconnectedness

Practice the view from above. Imagine observing your life and challenges from a great height or distance. This mental exercise:

  • Provides emotional distance from problems
  • Enhances objectivity in decision-making
  • Cultivates a broader, more philosophical outlook

Reflect on impermanence. Regularly contemplate the transient nature of all things, including:

  • Material possessions
  • Relationships and social status
  • Your own life and achievements

8. Practice social duty and ethical behavior

"We are made for cooperation, like the feet, the hands, the eyelids, the upper and the lower rows of teeth. To thwart one another is contrary to nature; and one form of thwarting is resentment and estrangement."

Cultivate benevolence. Recognize our shared humanity and interdependence. Practice kindness and compassion in your daily interactions, even with those who challenge you.

Fulfill your social roles. Embrace your responsibilities as a member of various communities:

  • Family: Be a supportive and loving family member
  • Workplace: Contribute positively to your professional environment
  • Society: Engage in civic duties and community service

Lead by example. Embody Stoic principles in your actions rather than preaching them. Your conduct will inspire others more effectively than words alone.

9. Cultivate virtues as the path to eudaimonia

"Virtue is the only good; at any rate there is no good without virtue, and virtue itself is situated in our nobler part, that is, the rational part."

Focus on character development. Prioritize the cultivation of virtues over external achievements or possessions. The four cardinal Stoic virtues are:

  1. Wisdom: Sound judgment and decision-making
  2. Justice: Fairness and ethical behavior
  3. Courage: Moral and physical fortitude
  4. Temperance: Self-control and moderation

Practice virtue in daily life. Look for opportunities to exercise virtues in everyday situations:

  • Wisdom: Seek knowledge and make reasoned decisions
  • Justice: Treat others fairly and contribute to society
  • Courage: Face fears and stand up for what's right
  • Temperance: Practice moderation in pleasures and desires

Measure progress by character. Evaluate your growth not by external metrics, but by improvements in your character and adherence to Stoic principles. Regular self-reflection and journaling can help track this internal progress.

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