A Short Guide to a Happy Life

1. Life is a precious gift, not to be taken for granted

Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work.

Cherish every moment. Life is an extraordinary gift that we often overlook in our daily routines. It's easy to get caught up in the mundane aspects of existence, forgetting the beauty and wonder that surrounds us. To truly appreciate life, we must:

• Notice the small wonders: The smell of salt water, the sight of a red-tailed hawk circling, or a baby's concentration while picking up a Cheerio
• Engage with nature: Observe the changing seasons, the night sky, or the intricate patterns in plants and animals
• Cultivate gratitude: Regularly reflect on the good things in your life, no matter how small

Create meaningful experiences. Instead of pursuing material possessions or career accolades, focus on building a life rich in experiences and connections. This involves:

• Investing time in relationships: Nurture friendships, family bonds, and romantic partnerships
• Pursuing passions: Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment
• Continuing to learn and grow: Embrace new challenges and opportunities for personal development

2. Prioritize personal life over professional achievements

No man ever said on his deathbed I wish I had spent more time at the office.

Balance is key. While professional success is important, it should not come at the expense of your personal life and relationships. A fulfilling life requires attention to both work and personal spheres:

• Set boundaries: Establish clear limits between work and personal time
• Prioritize family and friends: Make time for loved ones, even when work demands are high
• Pursue hobbies and interests: Engage in activities outside of work that bring you joy and relaxation

Redefine success. Instead of measuring success solely by career achievements, consider a more holistic approach:

• Personal growth: Focus on becoming a better person, not just a better employee
• Relationships: Measure success by the quality of your connections with others
• Impact: Consider how you contribute to your community and the world at large
• Well-being: Prioritize your physical and mental health as indicators of success

3. Be present and attentive in everyday moments

Turn off your cell phone. Turn off your regular phone, for that matter. Keep still. Be present.

Practice mindfulness. Being present in the moment allows us to fully experience and appreciate life. This requires conscious effort to:

• Limit distractions: Reduce screen time and create tech-free zones or periods
• Engage your senses: Pay attention to what you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel in each moment
• Practice meditation or deep breathing: Use these techniques to center yourself and focus on the present

Cultivate awareness. Develop the habit of noticing and appreciating the details of your surroundings and experiences:

• Observe nature: Take time to watch sunsets, listen to birdsong, or feel the texture of tree bark
• Savor experiences: Fully engage in activities like eating, walking, or conversing with others
• Reflect on daily moments: At the end of each day, recall moments of beauty or significance you experienced

4. Cultivate meaningful relationships and show up for others

I am a good friend to my friends, and they to me. Without them I would have nothing of interest to say to anyone, because I would be a cardboard cutout. But I call them on the phone, and I meet them for lunch. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh.

Invest in relationships. Meaningful connections with others are essential for a fulfilling life. To nurture these relationships:

• Be present: Give your full attention when interacting with others
• Listen actively: Show genuine interest in others' thoughts and feelings
• Be reliable: Follow through on commitments and be there when others need you
• Express appreciation: Regularly show gratitude for the people in your life

Build a support network. Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you:

• Cultivate diverse friendships: Seek out relationships with people from different backgrounds and perspectives
• Nurture family bonds: Invest time and effort in maintaining strong family relationships
• Join communities: Participate in groups or organizations that align with your interests and values

5. Practice generosity and contribute to the greater good

All of us want to do well. But if we do not do good, too, then doing well will never be enough.

Give back to others. Contributing to the well-being of others and society at large adds depth and purpose to life:

• Volunteer: Offer your time and skills to causes you care about
• Donate: Support charitable organizations financially when possible
• Perform random acts of kindness: Look for small ways to help others in your daily life
• Share your knowledge: Mentor others or teach skills you've developed

Cultivate empathy. Developing a deeper understanding of others' experiences and perspectives can inspire more compassionate action:

• Practice active listening: Truly hear and try to understand others' points of view
• Educate yourself: Learn about social issues and the challenges faced by different communities
• Challenge your assumptions: Be open to changing your mind and expanding your worldview

6. Embrace mortality as a motivator for living fully

It is so easy to waste our lives: our days, our hours, our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the pale new growth on an evergreen, the sheen of the limestone on Fifth Avenue, the color of our kids' eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of live. Unless you know there is a clock ticking.

Acknowledge life's finiteness. Recognizing our mortality can serve as a powerful motivator to live more intentionally:

• Reflect on your values: Regularly assess what truly matters to you and align your actions accordingly
• Set meaningful goals: Pursue objectives that bring fulfillment and contribute to your legacy
• Make the most of your time: Prioritize activities and relationships that add value to your life

Live with urgency. Use the awareness of life's brevity to inspire action and appreciation:

• Seize opportunities: Don't postpone dreams or important conversations
• Express love and gratitude: Regularly tell people how much they mean to you
• Create memories: Prioritize experiences and moments that will be cherished long-term

7. Find joy in life's small, ordinary moments

Life is made up of moments, small pieces of glittering mica in a long stretch of gray cement. It would be wonderful if they came to us unsummoned, but particularly in lives as busy as the ones most of us lead now, that won't happen. We have to teach ourselves how to make room for them, to love them, and to live, really live.

Cultivate appreciation. Train yourself to notice and savor life's simple pleasures:

• Practice gratitude: Regularly reflect on things you're thankful for, no matter how small
• Engage your senses: Pay attention to pleasant sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures in your environment
• Create rituals: Develop small daily practices that bring you joy, like a morning coffee or evening walk

Slow down. In our fast-paced world, consciously creating space for enjoyment is crucial:

• Schedule downtime: Set aside periods for relaxation and unstructured activities
• Practice mindfulness: Use techniques like meditation to fully experience the present moment
• Limit multitasking: Focus on one activity at a time to enhance your enjoyment and engagement

8. Learn from adversity and personal tragedies

I learned to live many years ago. Something really bad happened to me, something that changed my life in ways that, if I had had a choice, it would never have been changed at all. And what I learned from it is what, today, sometimes seems to be the hardest lesson of all.

Find meaning in difficulty. Challenging experiences can be powerful teachers if we approach them with the right mindset:

• Reflect on lessons learned: Consider how hardships have shaped your perspective and values
• Develop resilience: Use adversity as an opportunity to build emotional strength and coping skills
• Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself during tough times and acknowledge your growth

Transform pain into purpose. Use difficult experiences as a catalyst for positive change:

• Help others: Share your experiences to support those facing similar challenges
• Advocate for change: Use your insights to work towards preventing or mitigating similar hardships for others
• Reframe your narrative: Find ways to integrate difficult experiences into a meaningful life story

9. Love the journey, not just the destination

I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that this is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get.

Embrace the process. Instead of focusing solely on end goals, find joy and meaning in the journey itself:

• Celebrate small victories: Acknowledge progress and milestones along the way
• Learn from setbacks: View challenges as opportunities for growth and learning
• Stay present: Avoid getting caught up in future outcomes at the expense of current experiences

Cultivate curiosity. Approach life with a sense of wonder and openness to new experiences:

• Try new things: Step out of your comfort zone and explore unfamiliar activities or ideas
• Ask questions: Maintain a learning mindset and seek to understand different perspectives
• Embrace uncertainty: Find excitement in the unknown rather than fearing it

Last updated: January 23, 2025