Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

1. Men are driven by who they are, what they do, and how much they make

No matter if a man is a CEO, a CON, or both, everything he does is filtered through his title (who he is), how he gets that title (what he does), and the reward he gets for the effort (how much he makes).

Male identity foundation. Men's self-worth and motivation are deeply rooted in their professional identity, achievements, and financial success. This triad forms the core of how men perceive themselves and how they believe others view them.

Societal expectations. From a young age, men are conditioned to pursue success in these areas. Society often judges a man's value based on his career, accomplishments, and financial status, reinforcing the importance of these factors in shaping male behavior and priorities.

Relationship implications. Understanding this driving force is crucial for women in relationships with men. It explains why men may prioritize career advancement or financial stability over other aspects of life, including relationships. Recognizing and supporting a man's efforts in these areas can strengthen the bond between partners.

2. A man's love is expressed through professing, providing, and protecting

We men are very simple people: if we like what we see, we're coming over there. If we don't want anything from you, we're not coming over there. Period.

Actions speak louder. Men often express love through tangible actions rather than words. Professing involves publicly acknowledging the relationship, providing encompasses financial and material support, and protecting refers to ensuring the safety and well-being of their partner and family.

Love languages differ. While women may prioritize verbal expressions of love and emotional intimacy, men tend to show their affection through these three P's. Recognizing and appreciating these expressions can lead to better understanding and satisfaction in relationships.

Reciprocal appreciation. When women acknowledge and value these expressions of love, it reinforces the man's desire to continue providing and protecting. This creates a positive cycle of mutual appreciation and support in the relationship.

3. Men seek clarity and solutions, not just emotional discussions

We men aren't in the talking business; we're in the fix-it business.

Problem-solving mindset. When faced with issues, men typically focus on finding practical solutions rather than exploring emotions. This approach stems from their innate desire to fix problems and provide tangible results.

Communication differences. Women often seek emotional support and a listening ear when discussing problems, while men may interpret this as a request for solutions. This fundamental difference can lead to misunderstandings and frustration in relationships.

Bridging the gap. To improve communication:

• Women can clearly state whether they're seeking solutions or emotional support
• Men can practice active listening and empathy before jumping to problem-solving
• Both partners can acknowledge and respect each other's communication styles

4. Establish clear standards and requirements in relationships

If you don't have any standards or requirements, guess whose rules he's going to follow? That's right, his mother's.

Set expectations early. Clearly communicating your needs, values, and expectations at the beginning of a relationship helps establish a strong foundation. This clarity allows both partners to understand and respect each other's boundaries and desires.

Maintain self-respect. Having standards demonstrates self-worth and commands respect from your partner. It shows that you value yourself and expect to be treated accordingly.

Key areas to establish standards:

• Communication expectations
• Commitment level
• Shared values and goals
• Relationship boundaries
• Mutual respect and support

5. The 90-day rule: Wait before becoming intimate

If you're giving your benefits to a guy who's only been on the job for a week or two, you're making a grave mistake.

Building a foundation. The 90-day rule suggests waiting three months before becoming sexually intimate with a new partner. This period allows for better understanding of each other's character, intentions, and compatibility.

Weeding out casual encounters. By delaying intimacy, you can differentiate between those seeking a serious relationship and those looking for short-term gratification. It gives both partners time to evaluate their feelings and intentions.

Fostering respect. Waiting demonstrates self-respect and encourages your partner to value you for more than physical intimacy. It allows for the development of emotional connections and shared experiences, creating a stronger bond.

6. Understand the difference between a "sports fish" and a "keeper"

A woman who commands respect is a keeper; a woman who lets men get away with disrespecting her is a throwback.

Recognizing intentions. A "sports fish" is someone a man may date casually without serious intentions, while a "keeper" is someone he considers for a long-term commitment. Understanding this distinction helps women navigate dating more effectively.

Self-presentation matters. How you carry yourself, communicate your values, and set boundaries greatly influences how men perceive you. Commanding respect and maintaining high standards increases the likelihood of being seen as a "keeper."

Characteristics of a "keeper":

• Clear communication of expectations
• Self-respect and confidence
• Emotional maturity
• Shared values and goals
• Ability to maintain independence while fostering connection

7. Strong, independent women should allow men to feel needed

No matter how good you are to a man, no matter how good you are for him, until you understand what his makeup is, what drives him, what motivates him, and how he loves, you will be vulnerable to his deception and the games he plays.

Balancing independence. While being strong and self-sufficient is admirable, it's important to create opportunities for men to feel needed and valued in the relationship. This doesn't mean compromising your independence, but rather allowing your partner to contribute meaningfully.

Masculine identity. Men often derive a sense of purpose and fulfillment from feeling needed and being able to provide and protect. Recognizing and appreciating their efforts in these areas can strengthen the relationship.

Ways to make a man feel needed:

• Ask for his opinion or advice on matters
• Allow him to assist with tasks, even if you can do them yourself
• Express gratitude for his contributions
• Involve him in decision-making processes

8. Address potential issues early when introducing children to a new partner

You need to get the kids in the game early; a natural, casual introduction early in the relationship will set all of you up for a much healthier connection.

Timing is crucial. Introducing children to a new partner should happen relatively early in the relationship, allowing everyone to adjust and assess compatibility. This approach prevents emotional investment in a relationship that may not work due to incompatibility with children.

Observing interactions. Early introductions provide opportunities to observe how your partner interacts with your children and vice versa. This insight is valuable in determining the potential for a blended family dynamic.

Key considerations:

• Choose casual, low-pressure settings for introductions
• Observe how your partner relates to children of different ages
• Pay attention to your children's comfort level and reactions
• Assess your partner's willingness to engage with family activities

9. Recognize and address the reasons behind male infidelity

Men cheat because ... there are so many women willing to give themselves to a man who doesn't belong to them.

Understanding motivations. While not excusing the behavior, understanding why men cheat can help prevent infidelity or address underlying issues in the relationship. Common reasons include:

• Seeking emotional or physical validation
• Escaping relationship problems
• Opportunistic behavior
• Lack of commitment or fear of commitment

Communication is key. Open, honest communication about needs, expectations, and concerns can prevent many issues that lead to infidelity. Regular check-ins and addressing problems as they arise can strengthen the relationship.

Setting clear boundaries. Establish and communicate clear boundaries regarding interactions with others. This includes appropriate behavior with colleagues, friends, and on social media.

10. Set a timeline for marriage instead of waiting indefinitely

The moment we see you're willing to put aside your hopes of walking down the aisle, we're going to shelve it, too.

Take control. Instead of waiting indefinitely for a proposal, communicate your desires and expectations regarding marriage. Set a reasonable timeline that aligns with your goals and values.

Avoid indefinite commitments. Living together or having children without a clear plan for marriage can lead to prolonged uncertainty. If marriage is your goal, make it clear and be prepared to move on if your partner is unwilling to commit.

Steps to set a marriage timeline:

1. Honestly assess your relationship's readiness for marriage
2. Communicate your desire for marriage clearly and calmly
3. Discuss and agree on a reasonable timeline
4. Be prepared to follow through if your partner doesn't meet agreed-upon milestones
5. Remember that mutual commitment and shared goals are essential for a successful marriage

Last updated: January 22, 2025