All The Young Men

1. Ruth Coker Burks: An unlikely AIDS activist in 1980s Arkansas

"I don't say stuff I don't mean," he said. "I just need people that are gonna show up."

Accidental activist. Ruth Coker Burks, a young single mother in Hot Springs, Arkansas, found herself unexpectedly thrust into the role of AIDS activist in the mid-1980s. Her journey began when she encountered a dying AIDS patient in a hospital, abandoned by his family and medical staff. This experience sparked a calling that would define her life for years to come.

Compassionate caregiver. Despite having no medical training, Ruth became a lifeline for hundreds of men dying from AIDS. She provided care, comfort, and dignity to those who were often shunned by society, family, and the healthcare system. Her work extended beyond physical care to include emotional support, advocacy, and even arranging proper burials when no one else would.

Community builder. Ruth's activism went beyond individual care. She worked tirelessly to educate her community about AIDS, challenge stigma, and build a support network for patients. This included:

• Organizing safe sex education programs
• Advocating for proper medical care
• Creating support groups
• Collaborating with the LGBTQ+ community
• Lobbying for resources and policy changes

2. Confronting fear and ignorance: Caring for AIDS patients when no one else would

"I cannot help it if I'm popular."

Overcoming fear. In the early days of the AIDS crisis, fear and misinformation ran rampant. Ruth faced this head-on, often being the only person willing to touch or care for AIDS patients. She educated herself about the disease and worked to dispel myths in her community.

Challenging the medical establishment. Ruth frequently confronted healthcare professionals who refused to treat AIDS patients or treated them poorly. She advocated for better care, often using her growing knowledge to challenge doctors and nurses. Her efforts included:

• Demanding proper treatment and respect for patients
• Educating medical staff about AIDS
• Arranging for necessary medications and treatments
• Serving as a liaison between patients and healthcare providers

Personal risk. Despite facing social ostracism and potential health risks, Ruth continued her work. She often put herself in uncomfortable or dangerous situations to ensure patients received care, from confronting hostile family members to navigating risky social environments to reach those in need.

3. The power of compassion: Building a support network for the ostracized

"It's what we do," she said.

Creating chosen families. Many of Ruth's patients were rejected by their biological families. In response, she helped create a network of support that functioned like a chosen family for these individuals. This included other AIDS patients, members of the LGBTQ+ community, and allies who provided emotional support, practical help, and a sense of belonging.

Leveraging community resources. Ruth became adept at identifying and mobilizing community resources to support her patients. This included:

• Securing housing through government assistance programs
• Organizing food drives and meal deliveries
• Arranging transportation to medical appointments
• Facilitating job opportunities for those still able to work

Emotional support. Beyond practical assistance, Ruth provided crucial emotional support to her patients. She listened to their stories, helped them process their experiences, and often served as a bridge between patients and their estranged families. Her compassion extended to comforting patients in their final moments and ensuring they were not alone.

4. Challenging religious and social stigma in the Bible Belt

"Well, I know that with your husband being a doctor, and you being so kind and everything," I said, "I just knew it wouldn't matter."

Confronting religious intolerance. In the deeply religious Arkansas community, Ruth often found herself at odds with church leaders and congregations who viewed AIDS as divine punishment. She challenged this perspective by:

• Appealing to Christian values of compassion and care for the sick
• Educating religious leaders about the realities of AIDS
• Continuing to attend church and maintain her faith while advocating for patients

Navigating social stigma. Ruth faced significant social backlash for her work, including ostracism from her community and threats to her and her daughter. Despite this, she persisted in her efforts to normalize compassion for AIDS patients and challenge discriminatory attitudes.

Educating the public. Ruth took on the role of public educator, using media appearances, community meetings, and one-on-one conversations to dispel myths about AIDS and humanize its victims. She often used her status as a respectable, church-going single mother to gain credibility with skeptical audiences.

5. The impact of drag culture and LGBTQ+ community in Hot Springs

"If you're ever lonely, you can be a friend to yourself and take care of yourself, just like you take care of a friend. You need to be as good to yourself as you would be to a friend. A best friend."

Drag as empowerment. Ruth discovered the vibrant drag culture in Hot Springs, which became a source of joy, support, and empowerment for many in the LGBTQ+ community, including AIDS patients. Drag performances provided:

• A space for self-expression and creativity
• Community building and support
• Fundraising opportunities for AIDS-related causes
• Visibility for LGBTQ+ individuals in a conservative area

Building bridges. Through her involvement with the drag community, Ruth helped build bridges between different segments of society. She brought straight allies to drag shows, helping to normalize LGBTQ+ culture in the area. This cross-cultural interaction helped reduce stigma and increase support for AIDS patients.

Support network. The LGBTQ+ community, particularly centered around the local gay bar "Our House," became a crucial support network for Ruth's work. Community members:

• Volunteered to care for patients
• Donated resources and time
• Provided emotional support to each other and patients
• Helped organize educational and fundraising events

6. Fighting for dignity: Proper medical care and burial for AIDS patients

"I've sometimes had to bury them myself."

Advocating for medical care. Ruth tirelessly fought for proper medical treatment for AIDS patients, often in the face of discrimination and neglect from healthcare providers. Her efforts included:

• Accompanying patients to medical appointments
• Challenging doctors and nurses who provided substandard care
• Educating herself about treatments and advocating for their use
• Helping patients navigate the healthcare system and insurance issues

Ensuring dignified deaths. When patients reached the end of their lives, Ruth ensured they received compassionate care and died with dignity. This often meant:

• Being present in their final moments
• Advocating for pain management and comfort care
• Mediating between patients and estranged family members
• Providing emotional support and companionship

Proper burials. Many funeral homes refused to handle the bodies of AIDS patients, and families often rejected their deceased relatives. Ruth took on the responsibility of ensuring proper burials, including:

• Negotiating with funeral homes and cemeteries
• Arranging and often paying for cremations or burials
• Creating meaningful memorial services
• Burying unclaimed ashes in her family cemetery

7. Personal sacrifices and growth: Balancing activism with family life

"Allison, honey," I said, "I need you to be really, really nice today, okay?"

Juggling responsibilities. Ruth's activism often came at a personal cost, particularly in balancing her care for AIDS patients with raising her young daughter, Allison. She navigated this by:

• Involving Allison in her work when appropriate
• Creating a support network to help with childcare
• Teaching Allison compassion and acceptance from a young age
• Protecting Allison from the harsher realities of the AIDS crisis

Financial struggles. Ruth's dedication to her unpaid AIDS work often left her in financial difficulty. She found creative ways to make ends meet, including:

• Taking odd jobs and selling time-shares
• Utilizing food banks and dumpster diving to feed patients
• Leveraging community resources and donations
• Eventually receiving small stipends from AIDS organizations

Personal growth. Through her work, Ruth experienced significant personal growth. She became more assertive, knowledgeable about medical and social issues, and confident in challenging authority. Her experiences shaped her worldview and strengthened her commitment to social justice.

8. The evolution of AIDS treatment and awareness in rural America

"I have been asked to come speak to Allie's class."

Medical advancements. Ruth witnessed and participated in the evolution of AIDS treatment in rural America. This included:

• The introduction of AZT and other early medications
• Improvements in opportunistic infection treatments
• The development of more effective antiretroviral therapies
• Increased access to clinical trials and experimental treatments

Growing awareness. Over time, Ruth saw a gradual increase in AIDS awareness and education in her community. She contributed to this through:

• Public speaking engagements, including in schools
• Media appearances and interviews
• Collaborations with local and state health departments
• Grassroots education efforts in bars, churches, and community centers

Policy changes. Ruth's advocacy contributed to local and state policy changes regarding AIDS, including:

• Improved hospital policies for treating AIDS patients
• Increased funding for AIDS-related services
• Better protections against discrimination for people with HIV/AIDS
• More comprehensive sex education in schools

9. Unexpected allies and persistent adversaries in the fight against AIDS

"I'm not gonna make this an AIDS hospital," an administrator at the facility told me. "I don't want them here."

Allies in unlikely places. Ruth found support from unexpected sources, including:

• Some medical professionals who quietly assisted her work
• Local business owners who provided resources or employment for patients
• Politicians and community leaders who advocated for policy changes
• Individuals from conservative backgrounds who had personal connections to the AIDS crisis

Ongoing challenges. Despite progress, Ruth continued to face significant opposition, including:

• Religious leaders who maintained AIDS was divine punishment
• Healthcare administrators resistant to treating AIDS patients
• Community members who ostracized her and her patients
• Family members who rejected relatives with AIDS

Navigating complex relationships. Ruth learned to navigate complex relationships with both allies and adversaries. She developed skills in:

• Finding common ground with skeptics
• Leveraging influential supporters to effect change
• Maintaining diplomacy while standing firm in her convictions
• Building coalitions across diverse groups

10. The lasting legacy of grassroots AIDS activism in the South

"If you're not a family because my daughter doesn't have a father, it's because he just died. Remember? You were at the house—well, on the porch—when he died? So we would like to light a candle this season."

Community transformation. Ruth's work contributed to lasting changes in her community, including:

• Increased acceptance and support for LGBTQ+ individuals
• Better healthcare practices for treating AIDS and other stigmatized conditions
• A more robust support network for marginalized populations
• Greater awareness and education about HIV/AIDS and safe sex practices

Inspiring future activists. Ruth's example inspired others to take up the cause of AIDS activism and social justice, creating a ripple effect of compassion and advocacy. Her story demonstrates the power of individual action in the face of systemic challenges.

Historical significance. Ruth's work provides a valuable historical record of the AIDS crisis in rural America, offering insights into:

• The unique challenges faced by AIDS patients in conservative, rural areas
• The role of grassroots activism in effecting social change
• The intersection of healthcare, religion, and social stigma in the AIDS crisis
• The importance of compassion and personal connection in addressing public health crises

Last updated: January 23, 2025