All Things Aside

1. Nostalgia is Personal, Not Universal.

Nostalgia is personal, like political opinions or being high.

Aging brings nostalgia. Corporations tap into Elder Millennials' past for marketing, which feels good. However, constant online access makes nostalgia less random and more curated.
Internet fuels obsession. Millennials are the first generation to experience curated nostalgia online. This retreat to "simpler times" was heightened by global turmoil and the desire for comfort.
Personal memories matter. While lists exist, true nostalgia is specific to shared experiences. Sharing it with others who weren't there often falls flat; it's a fleeting feeling best consumed quietly.

2. "Having It All" is a Societal Trap for Women.

We constantly ask women about “having it all” to remind them that they don’t, in fact, have it all and that they should spend more time focusing on what they don’t have instead of what they do have.

Endless pressure exists. Women are pressured to "have it all" (career, family, beauty) while simultaneously downplaying their achievements. This societal disdain keeps women insecure and distracted from banding together.
Constant self-explanation. Women feel compelled to temper statements and apologize preemptively to avoid offending others. This exhausting "checking in" chips away at energy and distracts from real issues.
Questioning women's choices. From relationship status to motherhood, women face frustrating questions designed to make them doubt their path. This contrasts sharply with how men's ambitions and choices are typically viewed.

3. Much of Modern Life Feels Like a Scam.

Almost everything in life is a scam.

Originality is rare. Many products and ideas are just cheap knockoffs or reintroductions (like the stylus pen). Workout clothes are often excessive for average users, and matching sweat sets are overpriced.
Consumerism overwhelms. We have too many options for unnecessary things (Crocs colors, frozen yogurt toppings) but too few for essential or local ones (Starbucks saturation, lack of non-chain coffee). Meal kits offer convenience but highlight consumer excess.
Promises are vague. Skin-care and makeup promises use subjective language ("promotes the look and feel") rather than guaranteeing results. The beauty industry thrives on convincing women they need endless products to meet ever-changing trends.

4. Finding a Partner Can Be a Hunt.

But cute boys weren’t just out—you had to hunt them down.

Teenage horniness vs. reality. Adolescence is marked by intense desire but limited opportunities to connect with the opposite sex, especially in suburbs. Options were often restricted to schoolmates or friends' siblings.
Unsupervised spaces were key. Amusement parks or friends' houses with permissive parents offered rare chances for unsupervised interaction and making out. These moments were precious due to strict curfews.
Adult dating differs. Finding an available, normal, attractive partner in adulthood remains rare. Men often pursue interests solo without public declaration, making them harder to encounter organically compared to women who might signal "me time" publicly.

5. Miscarriage and Fertility Issues Are Common But Undiscussed.

One in eight women has had a miscarriage.

Taboo topic persists. Despite affecting many women, miscarriage is rarely discussed publicly or in media, unlike other forms of death or female-specific issues. This lack of conversation leaves women unprepared and isolated.
Personal experience reveals silence. The author's missed miscarriage highlighted how little she knew about the process (like D&C) until it happened. Even with privilege, accessing timely care required knowing someone.
Shame and lack of screening. There's an unspoken shame around fertility struggles. Simple issues like polyps, which can cause miscarriages, are not routinely screened for by OB-GYNs, requiring women to seek specialists proactively.

6. Motherhood is Judged, Not Celebrated.

To confide anything about your choices as a mother, prenatally or postpartum, is to enter into a binding agreement that you are sharing this information from a vulnerable place.

Public scrutiny is constant. Sharing anything about raising a child invites unsolicited advice and judgment from strangers. This creates anxiety and unnecessary competition among women.
Unsolicited advice abounds. From inducing labor to parenting choices, pregnant women and new mothers are bombarded with commands and warnings. This contrasts with the expectation that mothers should effortlessly manage everything.
Honesty is cathartic. Modern platforms allow mothers to share the brutal realities of pregnancy and childbirth, a shift from past secrecy. While this honesty is validating, it also exposes them to judgment from those who haven't experienced it.

7. Basic Decency: Just Act Like a Person.

“Act like a person” is something my mom says and a mantra I have carried with me well into adulthood.

Societal contract exists. Being part of society means understanding personal behavior affects others. "Acting like a person" means upholding basic decorum and avoiding rude or unaware actions that disrupt shared spaces.
Common annoyances abound. Examples of not acting like a person include:

• Blaring music in public
• Discharging firearms randomly
• Exhaling vape clouds near others
• Not using trash bags properly
• Setting off off-season fireworks
  Consideration is key. Simple acts like saying hello to service workers or bringing a gift to a host show consideration. Taking off shoes in someone's home is a basic courtesy, not an infringement on rights.

8. Self-Perception vs. Reality: Are You High-Maintenance?

How we think of ourselves and who we actually are don’t always coincide.

Low-maintenance ideal. Society often touts being low-maintenance as a virtue for women, implying men don't want demanding partners. However, "high-maintenance" often just means requiring physical upkeep or attention, not necessarily being a "nightmare."
Effort vs. expectation. Looking a certain way requires time and money, yet women are expected to be "naturally" stunning and effortless. This creates a psychological burden and fuels industries that profit from insecurity.
Emotional upkeep varies. While physical maintenance is visible, emotional needs differ. Some may require external validation (like a performer), while others are more self-contained. Claiming to be low-maintenance can sometimes signal the opposite.

9. Trends Come and Go, But Annoyances Remain.

The older I get, the more I find myself picking my head up from hypnotically drooling over my phone and exasperatedly blurting out, “Why are we doing this?!”

Popularity doesn't equal quality. Some popular things are great (Uggs, Country music), while others are annoying and overstay their welcome (LIVE LAUGH LOVE signs, unicorn themes). Disdain for trends can stem from a dislike of being force-fed ideas.
Enduring annoyances. Many things in modern life are irritating regardless of trends:

• Automated paper receipts
• Oversized coupons
• Overly sexualized food names
• Filters/Face-tuning
• Performative online behavior ("We did a thing")
  Questioning blind acceptance. Aging brings a tendency to question blindly accepted behaviors and trends. This self-reflection asks "What am I doing this for?" and "Why are they doing this?"

10. Unplugging Doesn't Stop the World's Chaos.

You think, Turn the phone off; what is so important? And the answer is everything.

Difficulty relaxing. Truly unplugging on vacation can be challenging, especially for those with demanding jobs or anxious tendencies. It takes time for the brain to adjust to tranquility.
Life continues offline. Turning off phones doesn't stop important or scary events from happening. The world doesn't pause because one person is taking a break.
Re-entry can be jarring. Returning to the digital world after unplugging can be overwhelming, especially if major events occurred. The urge to immediately react and engage can override the desire for continued peace.

Last updated: May 12, 2025