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Art Of Communicating

Art Of Communicating

by Thich Nhat Hanh 2015
4.11
10k+ ratings
Listen
9 minutes

Key Takeaways

1. Mindful Communication Starts with Yourself

Nothing can survive without food. Everything we consume acts either to heal us or to poison us.

Nourish yourself mindfully. Our thoughts, conversations, and media consumption are forms of nourishment that can either heal or harm us. Mindfulness helps us recognize and choose wholesome "food" for our minds and hearts. By practicing mindful breathing and walking, we can connect with ourselves, understand our own suffering, and cultivate inner peace. This self-awareness and self-compassion form the foundation for compassionate communication with others.

Practical steps for self-communication:

  • Practice mindful breathing throughout the day
  • Take mindful walks to connect body and mind
  • Set aside time for quiet reflection and self-listening
  • Observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment
  • Cultivate self-compassion and understanding

2. Breathing and Walking Mindfully Connect Body and Mind

When you breathe in mindfully, there is a happy reunion between body and mind.

Reunite body and mind. Mindful breathing and walking are powerful practices that bring our scattered attention back to the present moment. By focusing on our breath and steps, we create a bridge between our physical and mental experiences, fostering a sense of wholeness and presence. This integration allows us to communicate more authentically with ourselves and others.

Benefits of mindful breathing and walking:

  • Reduces stress and anxiety
  • Improves focus and clarity
  • Enhances self-awareness
  • Promotes emotional regulation
  • Cultivates a sense of inner peace and contentment

Regular practice of mindful breathing and walking can transform our daily activities into opportunities for meditation and self-discovery, creating a solid foundation for compassionate communication.

3. Deep Listening is the Foundation of Compassionate Communication

When we listen to someone with the intention of helping that person suffer less, this is deep listening.

Listen with your whole being. Deep listening involves giving our full attention to the speaker, setting aside our own judgments and reactions. It requires patience, openness, and a genuine desire to understand the other person's perspective. By practicing deep listening, we create a safe space for others to express themselves and feel truly heard.

Key aspects of deep listening:

  • Maintain eye contact and an open posture
  • Refrain from interrupting or offering advice
  • Pay attention to non-verbal cues and emotions
  • Reflect back what you've heard to ensure understanding
  • Ask open-ended questions to encourage deeper sharing

Deep listening not only helps the speaker feel understood and valued but also enriches our own understanding and compassion. It is a powerful tool for building trust and resolving conflicts in all types of relationships.

4. Six Mantras for Loving Speech Transform Relationships

A mantra may contain as few as four words, but in these words you are able to be fully there for the person you love.

Speak with intention and love. The Six Mantras are simple yet powerful phrases that embody loving speech and help strengthen relationships. By using these mantras mindfully, we can express our presence, appreciation, understanding, and willingness to help. They serve as tools to break through barriers of misunderstanding and create deeper connections.

The Six Mantras:

  1. "I am here for you."
  2. "I know you are there, and I am very happy."
  3. "I know you suffer, and that is why I am here for you."
  4. "I suffer, please help."
  5. "This is a happy moment."
  6. "You are partly right."

Practicing these mantras regularly can transform our communication patterns, fostering more empathy, understanding, and love in our relationships. They remind us to be present, acknowledge others' feelings, and express our own needs and appreciation.

5. Reconciliation is Possible Through Understanding Suffering

When you understand their suffering, you feel compassion for them, and suddenly you don't hate anymore, you're not afraid of them anymore.

Compassion dissolves conflict. By looking deeply into the nature of our own suffering and that of others, we can cultivate understanding and compassion. This understanding is the key to reconciliation, even in long-standing conflicts or estranged relationships. When we recognize that everyone experiences pain and has unmet needs, our anger and fear can transform into empathy and a desire to help.

Steps towards reconciliation:

  1. Acknowledge the difficulty in the relationship
  2. Practice mindful breathing to calm strong emotions
  3. Look deeply into your own suffering and its roots
  4. Try to understand the other person's perspective and pain
  5. Use loving speech and deep listening to express and understand
  6. Be patient and persistent in the process of healing

Remember that reconciliation is a process that takes time and effort from both parties. However, even small steps towards understanding can create significant shifts in seemingly intractable conflicts.

6. Mindful Communication at Work Creates Harmony

Whatever your position is at work, you can set an example by learning to listen to everyone with equal interest and concern.

Transform your workplace. Bringing mindful communication practices into our professional lives can significantly improve workplace relationships, productivity, and overall job satisfaction. By modeling deep listening, loving speech, and mindful presence, we can create a more harmonious and effective work environment.

Strategies for mindful communication at work:

  • Start your day with mindful breathing or walking
  • Greet colleagues with genuine presence and warmth
  • Practice deep listening in meetings and one-on-one interactions
  • Use loving speech in emails and conversations
  • Take mindful breaks throughout the day
  • Organize mindfulness sessions or group meditations

By integrating these practices, we can reduce workplace stress, improve collaboration, and foster a culture of mutual respect and understanding. This not only benefits individual well-being but also contributes to the overall success of the organization.

7. Community Building Amplifies Compassionate Communication

Systematic change can't be achieved without the energy of community.

Harness collective energy. Building mindful communities amplifies the power of compassionate communication. When we practice together, we create a supportive environment that reinforces our individual efforts and extends our positive impact. Community practice helps us overcome personal limitations and contributes to broader social change.

Benefits of community practice:

  • Mutual support and encouragement
  • Shared wisdom and diverse perspectives
  • Amplified positive energy and intention
  • Opportunities for collective action
  • Deeper sense of connection and belonging

By creating or joining mindfulness communities, we can strengthen our practice, inspire others, and work together towards creating a more compassionate world. This collective approach is essential for addressing larger societal issues and fostering widespread change.

8. Our Communication is Our Continuation and Karma

The value of our lives depends on the quality of our thinking, our speech, and our action.

Create a positive legacy. Every thought, word, and action we produce becomes part of our continuing influence in the world. This understanding of karma emphasizes our responsibility for the energy we put out through our communication. By cultivating mindful, compassionate communication, we can create a positive ripple effect that extends beyond our immediate interactions and even our lifetime.

Ways to cultivate positive communication karma:

  • Practice mindfulness to increase awareness of our thoughts and words
  • Choose to respond with compassion rather than react with anger
  • Use loving speech even in difficult situations
  • Engage in actions that benefit others and the environment
  • Regularly reflect on the impact of our communications

By recognizing that our communication is our continuation, we are motivated to cultivate thoughts, speech, and actions that contribute to healing and positive transformation in ourselves and the world around us.

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.11 out of 5
Average of 10k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

The Art of Communicating is highly regarded for its insights on mindful communication, compassion, and self-awareness. Readers appreciate its simple yet profound advice on listening deeply and speaking lovingly. Many find it transformative, though some feel it's basic or repetitive. The book emphasizes understanding one's own suffering to better communicate with others. While rooted in Buddhist philosophy, its teachings are seen as applicable to all faiths. Some readers note the challenge of implementing the practices in real life, despite their apparent simplicity.

Your rating:

About the Author

Thích Nhất Hạnh was a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, and peace activist. Born Nguyễn Xuân Bảo, he joined a Zen monastery at 16 and was ordained in 1949. He lived in exile in France for many years. Thích Nhất Hạnh was considered a highly influential figure in Zen Buddhism, particularly in the Lâm Tế (Vietnamese Rinzai) Thiền lineage. His teachings emphasized mindfulness, peace, and compassionate communication. He authored numerous books on Buddhism and mindfulness, gaining international recognition for his work in promoting peace and interfaith dialogue. His approach to Buddhism made complex concepts accessible to Western audiences.

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