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Before I Forget

Before I Forget

Love, Hope, Help, and Acceptance in Our Fight Against Alzheimer's
by B. Smith 2016 302 pages
4.20
1.0K ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Early signs of Alzheimer's can be subtle but significant

"There are so many caregiving needs! Can she drive, use the phone, manage her finances, plan a bus trip to get food? And later: can she bathe, dress herself, groom herself, feed herself, walk?"

Recognizing early symptoms is crucial for timely intervention and care planning. These signs may include:

  • Memory loss affecting daily life
  • Difficulty planning or solving problems
  • Trouble completing familiar tasks
  • Confusion with time or place
  • Problems with visual perception
  • New problems with words in speaking or writing
  • Misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace steps
  • Decreased or poor judgment
  • Withdrawal from work or social activities
  • Changes in mood and personality

Early diagnosis through cognitive tests and PET imaging can help families prepare and potentially slow the disease's progression through medication and lifestyle changes.

2. African Americans face higher risks and unique challenges with Alzheimer's

"Despite making up that modest 14 percent of the national population, blacks bear 30 percent of the costs of Alzheimer's."

Disproportionate impact on the African American community is a critical issue. Factors contributing to this disparity include:

  • Higher prevalence of risk factors like diabetes and hypertension
  • Socioeconomic challenges affecting access to healthcare
  • Historical mistrust of medical research due to past unethical studies
  • Lack of representation in clinical trials

Efforts to address these disparities include increased outreach, education, and recruitment for clinical trials within African American communities. Organizations like the African American Network Against Alzheimer's are working to raise awareness and improve access to care.

3. Caregiving for Alzheimer's patients requires patience, adaptability, and self-care

"You don't get a thank-you when a person has Alzheimer's. You can't expect them to appreciate all the things you do for them."

Caregiver challenges are numerous and evolving as the disease progresses. Key aspects of effective caregiving include:

  • Developing a flexible routine
  • Creating a safe environment
  • Simplifying tasks and communication
  • Managing behavioral changes with patience
  • Seeking support through respite care and support groups
  • Prioritizing self-care to avoid burnout

Caregivers must recognize the importance of their own well-being and not hesitate to seek help when needed. Home health aides, adult day care, and assisted living facilities can provide valuable support as the disease advances.

4. Diet, exercise, and lifestyle choices play a crucial role in managing Alzheimer's

"Exercise releases factors from the muscles that help the brain."

Lifestyle interventions can potentially slow cognitive decline and improve quality of life. Key recommendations include:

  • Following a Mediterranean-style diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and omega-3 fatty acids
  • Engaging in regular physical exercise, aiming for at least 150 minutes per week
  • Maintaining social connections and mental stimulation
  • Managing stress through relaxation techniques and mindfulness
  • Ensuring adequate sleep and avoiding excessive alcohol consumption

These lifestyle changes not only benefit Alzheimer's patients but may also help reduce the risk of developing the disease in healthy individuals.

5. The search for effective Alzheimer's treatments is ongoing but promising

"If we knew what we were doing, we wouldn't call it research."

Current research focuses on several promising avenues:

  • Targeting amyloid plaques and tau tangles
  • Exploring anti-inflammatory approaches
  • Investigating potential neuroprotective agents
  • Repurposing existing drugs for other conditions
  • Developing combination therapies or "cocktails" of drugs

While a cure remains elusive, ongoing clinical trials offer hope for better management of symptoms and potentially slowing disease progression. Increased funding and participation in clinical trials are crucial for advancing this research.

6. Alzheimer's impacts the entire family and requires a support network

"Alzheimer's is like a tornado moving through a town. It destroys some buildings and leaves others untouched."

Family dynamics are significantly affected by an Alzheimer's diagnosis. Key considerations include:

  • Open communication about the diagnosis and its implications
  • Involving family members in care planning and decision-making
  • Addressing emotional challenges, including grief and role changes
  • Seeking professional support through counseling or support groups
  • Planning for future care needs and financial considerations

Building a strong support network, including extended family, friends, and community resources, is essential for managing the long-term challenges of Alzheimer's care.

7. Public awareness and research funding are critical in the fight against Alzheimer's

"Alzheimer's is the most underrecognized threat to public health in the twenty-first century."

Advocacy efforts are crucial for advancing Alzheimer's research and care. Key initiatives include:

  • Pushing for increased federal funding for research
  • Promoting public education about early signs and prevention
  • Supporting policies that improve care access and quality
  • Encouraging participation in clinical trials
  • Addressing disparities in care and research

Grassroots efforts, such as the Alzheimer's Association's Walk to End Alzheimer's, play a vital role in raising awareness and funds for research and support services.

8. Maintaining dignity and quality of life for Alzheimer's patients is paramount

"Remember, there is still a living spirit inside this diminished person, the spirit of someone you love."

Person-centered care focuses on preserving the individual's sense of self and dignity. Key strategies include:

  • Respecting the person's preferences and routines
  • Encouraging independence in daily activities when possible
  • Maintaining social connections and meaningful activities
  • Using adaptive techniques to support communication
  • Creating a familiar and comfortable environment

As the disease progresses, the focus shifts to ensuring comfort and quality of life through palliative care approaches, emphasizing pain management and emotional support for both the patient and family.

Last updated:

FAQ

1. What is Before I Forget: Love, Hope, Help, and Acceptance in Our Fight Against Alzheimer's by B. Smith and Dan Gasby about?

  • Personal journey with Alzheimer’s: The book is a memoir chronicling B. Smith’s experience with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease, told through her and her husband Dan Gasby’s perspectives.
  • Caregiving and relationships: It explores the emotional, physical, and practical challenges faced by both patient and caregiver, offering an intimate look at how the disease affects marriage and family.
  • Advocacy and education: The narrative raises awareness about Alzheimer’s, especially in the African American community, and combines personal stories with accessible explanations of the disease and its management.
  • Resource for families: It serves as both a memoir and a practical guide, providing advice, hope, and support for others facing Alzheimer’s.

2. Why should I read Before I Forget by B. Smith and Dan Gasby?

  • Unique firsthand perspective: The book offers a rare, candid account from a high-profile African American woman and her husband, breaking stigma and raising awareness.
  • Comprehensive caregiving insights: Dan Gasby’s honest recounting of the caregiving journey provides practical advice and emotional support for families.
  • Educational and inspirational: Readers gain a better understanding of Alzheimer’s stages, symptoms, and treatments, as well as inspiration from the couple’s resilience and love.
  • Advocacy and call to action: The book encourages participation in research, early diagnosis, and community support, especially among African Americans.

3. What are the key takeaways from Before I Forget by B. Smith and Dan Gasby?

  • Alzheimer’s is multifaceted: The disease impacts memory, behavior, relationships, and daily life, requiring both medical and emotional strategies for management.
  • Caregiving is challenging but vital: The transition from spouse to caregiver is emotionally taxing, but support, patience, and self-care are essential.
  • Awareness and research matter: The book highlights the need for increased research funding, clinical trial participation, and early intervention, especially in underserved communities.
  • Hope and dignity endure: Despite the hardships, the importance of love, dignity, and living in the moment is emphasized throughout the journey.

4. What are the early signs and symptoms of Alzheimer’s described in Before I Forget by B. Smith?

  • Memory lapses and confusion: B. Smith experienced short-term memory loss, misplacing items, and repeating questions, which gradually became more frequent.
  • Emotional and behavioral changes: Mood swings, irritability, and withdrawal were early signs, straining relationships and daily routines.
  • Cognitive and physical difficulties: Challenges with planning, organizing, and following through on tasks, as well as occasional disorientation and physical sensations, were noted.
  • Subtle progression: The symptoms started subtly and increased over time, making early detection challenging.

5. How is Alzheimer’s diagnosed according to Before I Forget by B. Smith and Dan Gasby?

  • Cognitive and memory testing: B. underwent tests like word recall and drawing a clock face, revealing short-term memory and spatial impairments.
  • Advanced brain imaging: PET scans detected amyloid plaques, providing a definitive diagnosis and representing a breakthrough in living patient assessment.
  • Medical evaluation: Other causes such as stroke were ruled out through MRI and specialist consultations.
  • Emotional impact of diagnosis: The diagnosis was described as both devastating and a starting point for planning care and management.

6. What are the main stages and symptoms of Alzheimer’s as explained in Before I Forget by B. Smith?

  • Three-stage and seven-stage models: The book details both models, from mild memory loss to severe dementia requiring full-time care.
  • The “A’s” of Alzheimer’s: Eight key symptoms are highlighted: Amnesia, Agnosia, Aphasia, Apraxia, Anomia, Anxiety, Apathy, and Agitation.
  • Progressive decline: Symptoms worsen over time, affecting memory, reasoning, coordination, communication, and independence.
  • Care implications: Understanding the stages helps families anticipate care needs and emotional challenges.

7. What caregiving challenges and emotional experiences does Dan Gasby share in Before I Forget?

  • Role transition: Dan describes shifting from husband to full-time caregiver, managing daily tasks, medications, and emotional support.
  • Emotional rollercoaster: He candidly discusses frustration, anger, guilt, exhaustion, and the struggle to balance caregiving with personal needs.
  • Communication struggles: Alzheimer’s impaired B.’s ability to converse, leading to silence or repetition, which was emotionally taxing for both.
  • Need for support: The importance of seeking help, avoiding isolation, and accepting outside caregivers is emphasized.

8. What lifestyle and treatment approaches are recommended in Before I Forget by B. Smith and Dan Gasby?

  • Mediterranean diet: A diet rich in omega-3s, fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins is advocated to support brain health and slow decline.
  • Medications: Drugs like Aricept and Namenda are used to manage symptoms, along with antidepressants for mood stabilization, though they do not cure the disease.
  • Exercise and social engagement: Physical activity and maintaining social connections are highlighted as crucial for cognitive and emotional well-being.
  • Caution with alternative therapies: Supplements like ginkgo biloba are discussed, but the authors caution against unproven treatments.

9. How does Before I Forget by B. Smith address the impact of Alzheimer’s on African American communities?

  • Higher prevalence: African Americans are up to twice as likely to develop Alzheimer’s, with significant rates in older age groups.
  • Contributing factors: Genetics, higher rates of diabetes, hypertension, and cardiovascular disease increase risk in the black community.
  • Stigma and delayed diagnosis: Cultural stigma and mistrust lead to delayed medical help and missed early intervention opportunities.
  • Advocacy for research participation: The book urges more African Americans to join clinical trials to ensure effective treatments and advance understanding.

10. What are the best caregiving strategies and advice from Before I Forget by B. Smith and Dan Gasby?

  • Patience and compassion: Caregivers are encouraged to respond with gentleness, recognizing that behaviors are disease-driven, not intentional.
  • Medication management: Using pill dispensers and involving family members can help prevent medication errors.
  • Avoiding burnout: Self-care, support groups, and accepting help are vital for sustaining caregiving ability.
  • Communication and safety: Use simple questions, maintain dignity, and plan for safety measures like stopping driving and securing the home.

11. How does Before I Forget by B. Smith explain the science and research behind Alzheimer’s?

  • Amyloid plaques and tau tangles: The book discusses these brain changes as central to Alzheimer’s pathology and diagnosis.
  • Drug development challenges: It explains the high failure rate of drug trials and the complexity of finding effective treatments.
  • Emerging research: PET imaging, gene studies (like APOE), and innovative trials such as the A4 study are highlighted as hopeful developments.
  • Advocacy for participation: The authors encourage involvement in research and clinical trials to accelerate progress.

12. What is the significance of the “handbag” and “closet” metaphors in Before I Forget by B. Smith?

  • Symbol of identity: B.’s gold-sequined handbag represents her sense of self and dignity, even as memory fades.
  • Daily frustration: Misplacing the handbag and the growing mess in her closet illustrate the practical challenges of memory loss and organizational decline.
  • Caregiver’s emotional toll: Dan describes the difficulty of searching for lost items and respecting B.’s privacy while managing the disorder.
  • Metaphor for disease progression: The increasing weight of the handbag and the closet’s chaos symbolize the accumulating burden of Alzheimer’s on both B. and her loved ones.

Review Summary

4.20 out of 5
Average of 1.0K ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Before I Forget is a poignant memoir about B. Smith's journey with early-onset Alzheimer's, co-written with her husband Dan Gasby. Readers praise the book's honesty, informative content, and helpful tips for caregivers. Many found it eye-opening, especially regarding the disease's impact on African Americans. The book combines personal experiences with medical facts and advocacy for more research. While most reviewers appreciated the candid account, some felt uncomfortable with Gasby's perspective. Overall, it's considered a valuable resource for those affected by Alzheimer's.

Your rating:
4.62
34 ratings

About the Author

B. Smith, born Barbara Elaine Smith, was a renowned American restaurateur, model, author, and television host. She began her career as a fashion model, becoming one of the first African American women to grace the cover of Mademoiselle magazine. Smith later transitioned into the culinary world, opening successful restaurants and publishing cookbooks. She also hosted a nationally syndicated television show and launched a home products line. In 2013, Smith was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease, which she openly discussed to raise awareness. Her memoir, co-written with her husband, details her experiences with the disease and provides insights for others facing similar challenges.

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