Being Myself (The Essence of Meditation Series)

1. Our Essential Self: The Unchanging Awareness Behind Experience

Our essential self or being is prior to and independent of thoughts and feelings. Our essential self has no need to be made independent through effort or practice. It is always and already inherently free. It is only necessary to recognise it as such.

Our true nature is pure awareness. This awareness is the constant, unchanging background of all our experiences. It is not affected by thoughts, feelings, or sensations, just as a screen is not affected by the images projected upon it. This awareness is:

• Ever-present: It never comes or goes
• Unlimited: It has no boundaries or form
• Inherently peaceful: It cannot be disturbed by experience
• Unconditionally fulfilled: It needs nothing from experience to complete itself

Our essential self is not something we need to create or achieve. It is already who we are, always present and freely available. The challenge is not in attaining it, but in recognizing what is already here.

2. The Veil of Experience: How We Lose Touch with Our True Nature

Suffering is the price we pay for this forgetting. It is a call from our self to our self, saying, 'Turn around! Come back to me. I am what you are looking for, but you are looking for me in the wrong direction.'

We forget our true nature through identification. When we become overly absorbed in the content of our experience—thoughts, feelings, sensations, and perceptions—we temporarily lose sight of our essential self. This is like a screen becoming so engrossed in the movie it's displaying that it forgets it's a screen.

The consequences of this forgetting include:

• A sense of being a separate, limited self
• Feelings of lack, vulnerability, and incompleteness
• The arising of fear, desire, and suffering
• A constant search for fulfillment in external objects and experiences

This suffering and searching are not punishments, but reminders. They are calls from our true self, urging us to remember our essential nature and return to the peace and fulfillment that are always present at our core.

3. The Inward Path: Recognizing Our Self as Pure Awareness

To remedy this, we first make a distinction between the knower and the known, the experiencer and the experienced, the witness and the witnessed. Later on we will collapse this distinction, but for one who is lost in experience, who identifies with every passing thought, feeling, activity and relationship, it is first necessary to make the distinction.

The inward path involves discrimination. This approach invites us to distinguish between the content of our experience and the awareness in which all experience appears. It's a process of noticing that we are aware of thoughts, feelings, and sensations, but are not these experiences themselves.

Key aspects of this practice include:

• Recognizing that we are the knowing element in all experience
• Noticing the sense of 'being myself' or 'I am' that persists regardless of what we're experiencing
• Resting attention in this sense of being, rather than on objects of experience
• Allowing the peace and fullness of our true nature to reveal itself

This process is not about rejecting or suppressing experience, but about recognizing our true identity as the aware space in which all experience occurs.

4. The Outward Path: Seeing All Experience as a Manifestation of Being

All experience is a temporary colouring of unconditioned, unlimited, self-aware being. Experience is the activity of being; being is experience at rest.

All experience is a modulation of pure being. Once we've recognized our essential nature as awareness, we can begin to see that all experience is not separate from this awareness, but is in fact its activity or expression. This is like recognizing that all characters and events in a movie are made of the same screen.

This understanding leads to:

• Seeing the unity underlying all apparent diversity
• Recognizing the sacred nature of all experience
• Experiencing love as the recognition of shared being
• Perceiving beauty as the shining of being in form

This outward path doesn't negate the inward path, but complements it. Together, they lead to a complete understanding of the non-dual nature of reality, where our self and the world are recognized as one seamless whole.

5. Happiness and Peace: Our Natural State of Being

Happiness is the very nature of our self. It is our self's knowledge of itself. The knowing of being is itself happiness.

Our true nature is inherently peaceful and happy. Just as a screen is never disturbed by the drama of a movie, our essential self is never truly agitated or lacking. The peace and happiness we seek are not states to be achieved, but our natural condition when we're not identified with temporary experiences.

Key points about this inherent peace and happiness:

• They are unconditional, not dependent on external circumstances
• They are ever-present, though often overlooked
• They shine through in moments of love, beauty, and deep relaxation
• They are accessed through recognizing and resting as our true nature

This understanding invites us to stop searching for happiness in external objects and experiences, and instead to recognize the fullness and peace that are always present at our core.

6. The Journey of Self-Discovery: From Glimpses to Establishment

Once we have had that first glimpse, our life is never the same again. We have been disturbed by something that is recognised to be at once new and familiar.

Self-realization is often a gradual process. While some may have a sudden and complete recognition of their true nature, for most people it's a journey of repeated glimpses and gradual establishment. This process can be likened to getting to know a new friend who becomes increasingly familiar and important in our life.

The journey typically involves:

1. Initial glimpses or intuitions of our true nature
2. Curiosity and investigation, leading to deeper experiences
3. Repeated "returns" to our essential self
4. Gradual erosion of the habit of identification with experience
5. Increasing stability in recognizing and resting as our true nature

As we become more established in our true nature, its qualities of peace, happiness, and love begin to permeate all aspects of our experience and expression.

7. Living from Our True Nature: Transforming Experience and Relationships

A mind that is accustomed to resting frequently in its essence becomes increasingly saturated with peace. When such a mind returns to experience, it does not leave that peace behind. It takes it with itself, and its activities of thinking, feeling, sensing, perceiving, acting and relating become an expression, a communication and a celebration of that peace.

Self-realization transforms our entire life. As we become more established in our true nature, this recognition begins to infuse all aspects of our experience and expression. It's not about escaping the world, but about living in it from a place of deep understanding and peace.

This transformation manifests as:

• Greater equanimity in the face of life's ups and downs
• Increased compassion and understanding for others
• A natural expression of love and kindness
• A sense of ease and flow in our activities
• A deepening appreciation for the beauty of life

Living from our true nature doesn't mean we no longer experience difficult emotions or challenges. Rather, it means we meet these experiences from a place of open, spacious awareness, allowing them to move through us without getting stuck in identification or resistance.

8. The Sacred 'I': Understanding the Divine Nature of Our Self

The name 'I' is not the name that a person gives to their self; it is the name that awareness gives to itself and should be reserved for awareness alone.

The 'I' is the name of the divine. When we use the word 'I', we're referring not to a limited personal self, but to the infinite, self-aware being that is our true nature. This 'I' is the same in all beings, the universal consciousness that religions have called God.

Understanding the sacred nature of 'I' involves:

• Recognizing that our sense of 'I' or 'being myself' is the presence of the divine within us
• Being careful not to limit this 'I' by identifying it with temporary states or qualities
• Using the sense of 'I' or 'I am' as a gateway to our true nature
• Seeing that our self-knowledge is God's self-knowledge

This understanding invites us to approach our sense of self with reverence and to use it as a constant reminder of our true, divine nature. It bridges the apparent gap between the personal and the universal, showing that our deepest self is one with the ultimate reality.

Last updated: September 20, 2024