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Better Together

Better Together

Strengthen Your Family, Simplify Your Homeschool, and Savor the Subjects That Matter Most
by Pam Barnhill 2018 178 pages
4.34
1k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Morning Time: A transformative homeschool practice

"Morning Time is the daily collection of little grains of sand that add up to a lifetime of learning. It is the daily sowing of the seeds of learning for the long haul."

A powerful educational tool. Morning Time is a dedicated period in the homeschool day for families to come together and focus on subjects that are often neglected in traditional curricula. It typically includes prayer, scripture reading, poetry, music, art appreciation, and other enriching activities.

Relationship-building practice. Beyond academic benefits, Morning Time fosters strong family relationships and a shared love of learning. It creates a daily rhythm that anchors the homeschool experience and provides a sense of continuity and purpose.

Flexible and adaptable. Morning Time can be tailored to fit the unique needs and interests of each family:

  • Can range from 15 minutes to over an hour
  • Can be done at any time of day, not necessarily in the morning
  • Can include a wide variety of subjects and activities
  • Can be adapted for families of all sizes and children of all ages

2. The 3 Rs of Morning Time: Ritual, Reading, and Recitation

"The heart of Morning Time is what you choose to read aloud to your children."

Ritual. Establishes a predictable routine that signals the start of learning time:

  • Lighting a candle
  • Singing a hymn or reciting a prayer
  • Greeting each other with a special phrase

Reading. Exposes children to great literature, ideas, and beautiful language:

  • Read-alouds from classic and contemporary literature
  • Poetry
  • Scripture or other religious texts
  • Non-fiction on history, science, or other subjects of interest

Recitation. Helps children internalize important information and beautiful language:

  • Memorizing poetry, scripture, or famous speeches
  • Practicing math facts or grammar rules
  • Learning hymns or folk songs

These three elements work together to create a rich learning environment that engages multiple senses and learning styles.

3. Cultivating truth, goodness, and beauty through Morning Time

"Our education in beauty begins in learning to love what is beautiful."

Exposure to excellence. Morning Time provides a structured opportunity to introduce children to the best of human culture and thought:

  • Great works of art and music
  • Timeless literature and poetry
  • Important historical and scientific concepts

Moral formation. Through carefully chosen materials, Morning Time helps shape children's character and worldview:

  • Stories that illustrate virtues and moral lessons
  • Discussions of ethical dilemmas and philosophical questions
  • Exposure to diverse perspectives and cultures

Aesthetic appreciation. Regular exposure to beauty in various forms cultivates children's taste and discernment:

  • Learning to observe and describe works of art
  • Listening attentively to complex music
  • Savoring the rhythms and imagery of poetry

By consistently presenting truth, goodness, and beauty, Morning Time helps children develop a lifelong appreciation for the finer things in life and a robust moral framework.

4. Flexibility and adaptability in Morning Time scheduling

"Morning Time, though, can be more than a simple prayer practice. Morning Time has the power to have a shaping and lasting effect on our entire worldview."

Tailored to family needs. Morning Time can be adapted to fit various schedules and lifestyles:

  • Early morning for families who are early risers
  • Mid-morning or afternoon for those who prefer a slower start
  • Split into multiple sessions throughout the day

Seasonal adjustments. The length and content of Morning Time can change with the seasons of family life:

  • Shorter sessions during busy times or with young children
  • More in-depth study during relaxed periods or with older children
  • Adapted content to match current interests or educational needs

Creative scheduling techniques:

  • Block scheduling: rotating subjects on different days or weeks
  • Loop scheduling: working through a list of subjects at your own pace
  • Graduated participation: older children joining for part of the time and then moving on to independent work

By remaining flexible, families can maintain the practice of Morning Time even as their needs and circumstances change over the years.

5. Engaging children of all ages in Morning Time

"Our relationships with our boys have really deepened as we've started to have meaningful discussions about different subjects. I like to think we all enjoy each other more now than we did two years ago."

Multi-age learning. Morning Time allows families to learn together, regardless of age differences:

  • Younger children absorb information even when material seems "above their heads"
  • Older children benefit from reviewing foundational concepts
  • Siblings learn from each other through discussion and shared experiences

Differentiated participation. Adapt expectations and activities based on age and ability:

  • Younger children may draw or play quietly while listening
  • Older children can lead discussions or present memorized material
  • Teens can engage in deeper analysis and debate

Hands-on activities. Incorporate movement and tactile learning to keep all ages engaged:

  • Art projects related to the current topic
  • Acting out stories or historical events
  • Using manipulatives for math concepts

By creating a learning environment that welcomes all ages, Morning Time strengthens family bonds and creates a shared culture of learning.

6. Overcoming challenges and resistance to Morning Time

"The key here, though, is that we have to take our children to Jesus in order for them to receive His blessing. If we never take them, they don't benefit. So persevere—get up every morning and just begin."

Start small. Begin with short, simple sessions and gradually build up:

  • Start with just 5-10 minutes of a favorite activity
  • Add new elements slowly as the habit becomes established
  • Celebrate small successes to build momentum

Address common obstacles:

  • Toddler disruptions: Use special toys or activities reserved for Morning Time
  • Teen resistance: Include them in planning and leadership
  • Parental burnout: Rotate leadership with spouse or older children

Maintain consistency. Regular practice is key to overcoming initial resistance:

  • Set a consistent time and place for Morning Time
  • Use a special signal (like a song or bell) to gather everyone
  • Stick with it even on difficult days, adapting as needed

Remember that building a new habit takes time and patience. The long-term benefits of Morning Time are worth persevering through initial challenges.

7. Building a rich Morning Time curriculum

"Morning Time subjects are much like that buffet. There are a wide variety of subjects that you can place in your morning basket—all of them very good."

Core components. Include elements that align with your family's values and educational goals:

  • Faith and character development
  • Literature and poetry
  • History and geography
  • Science and nature study
  • Art and music appreciation

Supplementary subjects. Add variety with additional topics:

  • Foreign language exposure
  • Logic and critical thinking
  • Current events discussions
  • Life skills and practical knowledge

Resource selection. Choose high-quality materials that engage and inspire:

  • Living books that bring subjects to life
  • Primary sources and classic texts
  • Hands-on materials and manipulatives
  • Audio and visual resources for variety

Balance structure and spontaneity in your Morning Time curriculum. Have a plan, but be willing to follow unexpected paths of interest and discovery.

8. The long-term benefits of Morning Time for families

"I see a love of music and the organ in my two older children, particularly, and I attribute that to highlighting hymns at an early age. But even if I didn't see fruit now, I would still see the value in being together, reading God's word, and singing His praises together."

Academic advantages. Morning Time lays a strong foundation for lifelong learning:

  • Broad exposure to many subjects creates well-rounded students
  • Regular practice in attention and narration improves learning skills
  • Memorization of key facts and beautiful language enriches communication

Character formation. Consistent exposure to truth, goodness, and beauty shapes children's values:

  • Development of moral reasoning through stories and discussions
  • Cultivation of virtue through habit and example
  • Appreciation for excellence and beauty in all areas of life

Family culture. Morning Time creates shared experiences and memories:

  • Common language and references from shared reading
  • Family traditions built around Morning Time rituals
  • Stronger sibling relationships through shared learning

The impact of Morning Time often extends far beyond the homeschool years, influencing children's choices, interests, and values throughout their lives.

Last updated:

FAQ

1. What is "Better Together: Strengthen Your Family, Simplify Your Homeschool, and Savor the Subjects That Matter Most" by Pam Barnhill about?

  • Focus on Morning Time: The book centers on the concept of "Morning Time," a daily family learning practice that brings together children of all ages to study subjects that foster truth, goodness, and beauty.
  • Homeschool Simplification: Pam Barnhill provides practical strategies for simplifying homeschool routines by teaching multiple ages together and focusing on shared learning experiences.
  • Building Family Culture: The book emphasizes the importance of building strong family relationships and a rich family culture through shared rituals, reading, and discussion.
  • Practical Guidance: It offers step-by-step advice, real-life examples, and resources to help families implement Morning Time in a way that fits their unique needs and seasons.

2. Why should I read "Better Together" by Pam Barnhill if I’m a homeschool parent?

  • Addresses Common Homeschool Struggles: The book tackles issues like burnout, disconnection, and the challenge of teaching multiple ages, offering solutions that are both practical and inspiring.
  • Emphasizes Relationship Over Rigor: Barnhill advocates for prioritizing relationships and joy in learning, which can transform the homeschool experience for both parents and children.
  • Flexible and Adaptable: The Morning Time method is adaptable to any homeschool style—classical, Charlotte Mason, unschooling, or eclectic—making it relevant for a wide audience.
  • Rich Resource Recommendations: The book is packed with curated book lists, subject ideas, and real-life snapshots from other families, making it a valuable resource for inspiration and planning.

3. What is "Morning Time" as defined in "Better Together" by Pam Barnhill?

  • Family Learning Practice: Morning Time is a daily gathering where the whole family learns together, focusing on subjects that are best experienced in community, such as literature, art, music, and faith.
  • Three Core Elements: It typically includes Ritual (prayer, singing, or other opening routines), Reading (aloud from living books or classic literature), and Recitation (memorization of poetry, scripture, or facts).
  • Flexible Structure: Morning Time can be as short as 15 minutes or as long as 90 minutes, and can be adapted to fit any family’s schedule or needs.
  • Relationship and Culture Building: The practice is designed to foster deep relationships, shared memories, and a common family culture rooted in truth, goodness, and beauty.

4. How does "Better Together" by Pam Barnhill suggest Morning Time strengthens family relationships?

  • Shared Experiences: By learning, reading, and discussing together, families create shared memories and a sense of unity that extends beyond academics.
  • Modeling Lifelong Learning: Parents participate as co-learners, modeling curiosity and humility, which encourages children to value learning as a lifelong pursuit.
  • Building Virtue and Character: The book emphasizes the role of Morning Time in shaping character and virtue through exposure to great ideas, stories, and discussions.
  • Encouraging Sibling Bonds: Older children often help younger siblings, fostering mentorship, patience, and empathy within the family.

5. What are the main benefits of implementing Morning Time in my homeschool, according to "Better Together"?

  • Efficiency in Teaching: Morning Time allows parents to teach multiple ages at once, streamlining the homeschool day and reducing the need for separate lessons.
  • Exposure to Rich Content: It provides a dedicated space for subjects that often get neglected, such as art, music, poetry, and nature study.
  • Cultivation of Wonder: The practice encourages contemplation, discussion, and enjoyment of ideas, moving beyond rote learning to deeper understanding.
  • Flexibility and Adaptability: Morning Time can be tailored to fit any family’s educational philosophy, schedule, and season of life.

6. What practical steps does Pam Barnhill recommend for starting Morning Time in "Better Together"?

  • Start Small and Ramp Up: Begin with one or two simple practices, such as prayer and a read-aloud, and gradually add more elements as the routine becomes established.
  • Plan and Organize: Use a Morning Time basket or binder to keep all materials together and prepare in advance to ensure consistency.
  • Use Scheduling Techniques: Employ block or loop scheduling to fit more subjects into Morning Time without overwhelming the family.
  • Adapt to Your Family’s Needs: Adjust the length, content, and timing of Morning Time based on your children’s ages, interests, and family schedule.

7. What subjects and activities does "Better Together" recommend including in Morning Time?

  • Core Subjects: Ritual (prayer, hymns, blessings), Reading (living books, classic literature, history, science), and Recitation (poetry, scripture, facts).
  • Fine Arts: Music appreciation, picture study, art projects, and handicrafts.
  • Language Arts: Poetry study, Shakespeare, grammar, and narration.
  • Math and Science: Living math books, math games, science biographies, and nature study.
  • Faith and Character: Bible reading, catechism, virtue stories, and habit training.

8. How does "Better Together" by Pam Barnhill address challenges like wide age ranges, toddlers, or only children during Morning Time?

  • Graduated Drop-Off: Start with activities for all ages, then allow older or younger children to leave as appropriate, continuing with age-specific content.
  • Busy Hands Activities: Encourage children to draw, color, or play quietly with manipulatives during readings to help them focus.
  • Shorter Sessions for Young Children: Keep Morning Time brief and focused for families with toddlers or preschoolers, and use snack time to keep little ones engaged.
  • Adapt for Only Children: Treat Morning Time as a shared experience between parent and child, ensuring the parent is an active participant rather than a quizzer.

9. What are the key takeaways and core philosophies of "Better Together" by Pam Barnhill?

  • Education is About Relationships: The heart of homeschooling is building strong, loving relationships through shared learning.
  • Focus on Truth, Goodness, and Beauty: Morning Time is a means to expose children to the transcendentals, shaping their affections and character.
  • Flexibility is Essential: There is no one right way to do Morning Time; it should serve your family, not the other way around.
  • Small Consistent Efforts Add Up: Even brief, daily practices can have a profound, long-term impact on family culture and learning.

10. What are some of the best quotes from "Better Together" by Pam Barnhill, and what do they mean?

  • “Morning Time is the daily collection of little grains of sand that add up to a lifetime of learning.” — Emphasizes the cumulative power of small, consistent efforts.
  • “We are not merely teachers but fellow travelers.” — Highlights the parent’s role as a co-learner, journeying alongside their children.
  • “Love is a liturgy. It means something.” — Suggests that daily rituals and shared practices are acts of love that shape family identity.
  • “Education is a life. That life is sustained on ideas.” (Charlotte Mason, quoted) — Stresses the importance of feeding children’s minds with rich, living ideas, not just facts.

11. How does "Better Together" by Pam Barnhill help with planning, organizing, and troubleshooting Morning Time?

  • Step-by-Step Planning Advice: The book provides guidance on ramping up Morning Time, choosing subjects, and creating realistic schedules.
  • Organizational Tools: Suggestions include using baskets, binders, playlists, and printed procedures to keep materials accessible and routines smooth.
  • Troubleshooting Common Issues: Addresses challenges like keeping kids engaged, managing toddlers, and handling interruptions with practical tips and grace.
  • Real-Life Snapshots: Includes interviews and examples from a variety of families, offering diverse solutions and inspiration.

12. What resources and further reading does "Better Together" by Pam Barnhill recommend for Morning Time?

  • Curated Book Lists: Extensive recommendations for living books, poetry, history, science, and faith-based resources.
  • Subject-Specific Guides: Suggestions for music appreciation, picture study, nature study, math, and more, with both print and online options.
  • Memory Work Ideas: Lists of poems, scripture, speeches, and facts suitable for memorization across ages.
  • Online Support: References to Pam Barnhill’s website (pambarnhill.com), podcasts, and community groups for ongoing support and updated resources.

Review Summary

4.34 out of 5
Average of 1k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Better Together receives high praise from homeschooling parents, with an average rating of 4.35/5. Readers appreciate its practical advice, inspiring ideas, and valuable resources for implementing Morning Time in homeschooling. The book is lauded for its flexibility, allowing families to adapt Morning Time to their needs. Many found it rejuvenating their homeschooling approach and strengthening family bonds. While some wished for more content on older children, most reviewers found the book helpful regardless of their homeschooling style or experience level.

Your rating:
4.66
26 ratings

About the Author

Pam Barnhill is an accomplished educator, journalist, and homeschooling expert. She hosts the Homeschool Solutions Show podcast and authored "Better Together," focusing on Morning Time in homeschooling. Barnhill's approach emphasizes relationship-building while maintaining academic rigor. She's known for breaking down complex tasks into manageable steps and addressing her audience's core concerns. Her work aims to simplify homeschooling, strengthen families, and promote enjoyment of essential subjects. Barnhill resides in the southern United States with her family and pets. She engages with her audience through email and her website, offering resources and support to homeschooling families.

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