Buddhist Boot Camp

1. Train Your Mind & Let Go of Grasping

Habitually contemplate whether your thoughts stem from love or from fear.

Mind is trainable. Your mind, like a spoiled rich kid, thinks whatever it wants, whenever it wants. Training it means taking charge of your decisions instead of being ruled by cravings or urges. This isn't about deprivation, but conscious choice – deciding when to indulge, not just reacting.

Letting go is key. Just as we hoard physical clutter, we cling to pride, anger, outdated opinions, and fears. This grasping stems from fear – fear of change, strangers, the unknown. Our beliefs solidify, creating distance from others.

Fear limits possibilities. Fear permeates doubt, despair, hesitation, hatred, jealousy, anger, pride, and deceit. If your thoughts originate from fear, dig deep to find its root. Only by letting go of fear can you unlock possibilities and live for each other, recognizing that love is real and vibrates beneath every act of kindness.

2. Live Fully in the Present Moment

By being so focused on how things “could be,” we are under-appreciating how great things already are.

Stop rushing forward. We constantly rush towards future goals, imagining a better version of ourselves "somewhere" down the line. This focus on how things "could be" blinds us to the beauty and blessings already present in our lives, including our relationships and personal progress.

Appreciate today's gifts. Instead of exhausting ourselves with cravings for what we haven't achieved, practice gratitude for what you already have. Recognize the value of current friendships and relationships, rather than comparing them to imaginary ideals.

Pause and reflect. Regularly pause to honor the progress you've already made and acknowledge the gifts you possess. Life is an ongoing process of evolving and learning; you will never be "done." Step back to see the big picture, where small worries often disappear.

3. Love is Unconditional Support, Not Possession

A healthy relationship is an agreement between two people to support one another in their spiritual practice.

Relationships are misunderstood. Often seen as ownership or belonging, this limited view breeds expectations, possessiveness, and disappointment. A healthy relationship transcends this, focusing on mutual support for each other's individual path and dedication.

Based on unconditional love. Such a relationship is free from attachment and expectations, filled instead with caring and compassion. The focus shifts from what one receives to what one can give, creating a union based on unconditional love, not the need to possess.

Practice together. This collaboration involves patience, vulnerability, honesty, active listening, understanding, and unwavering trust. It's an opportunity to practice principles like non-violent communication, meditation, and radical honesty, becoming two peaceful warriors supporting each other's journey to spread positivity.

4. Question Everything & Unlearn What Doesn't Serve You

“Don’t believe everything you see, read, or hear from others, whether of authority, religious teachers or texts. Find out for yourself what is truth, what is real."

Wisdom is unlearning. True wisdom might be less about acquiring new knowledge and more about letting go of the illusion that we know ultimate truths. We are born caring and compassionate, but society teaches us prejudice and judgment.

Unlearn limitations. Sometimes, life requires us to unlearn behaviors and beliefs instilled from a young age, like fear of those who are different or automatic reactions to insects. These learned behaviors are stories we've written in our minds.

Rewrite your story. Just because you've always been a certain way doesn't mean you have to stay that way. You have the power to rewrite the stories in your mind that no longer serve you, replacing fears and judgments with acceptance and compassion for all beings.

5. True Success is Happiness and Simplicity

Success means being happy, and nobody deserves to hate what they do for a living.

Careers are overrated. If working full-time leaves you living part-time, perhaps the conventional definition of success needs reevaluation. Nobody on their deathbed wishes they spent more time at the office. High-stress, high-paying jobs often come at the cost of health and happiness.

Redefine "enough." We often work long hours to afford things we think we need, but these are choices. The price of a new phone or car isn't just its cost, but the time and effort required to earn the money for it. Consider what you want more out of life – material goods or free time for health, relationships, and passion?

Embrace simplicity. Living simply doesn't mean sacrificing luxury; it means exchanging material goods for true bliss and freedom from attachment. Working less can mean living more, allowing time for volunteering, hobbies, and being present for others. A simple life, focused on love, gratitude, kindness, and patience, is a full and wonderful life.

6. Understand the Root of Suffering: Expectations & Fear

To reduce the amount of stress in our lives (as well as anger, fear, disappointment, anxiety and intolerance), we must start by reducing our expectations.

Expectations cause pain. Much of our suffering – stress, anger, disappointment, anxiety – stems from unreasonable and self-centered expectations. We expect traffic to be fast, service to be instant, and people to behave according to our desires.

Let go of demands. When we don't expect a movie to be incredible or a blind date to be perfect, we aren't devastated when they fall short. The only reason you're not disappointed about not receiving a daily love letter is the lack of expectation.

Be patient with others. People move at different paces for countless reasons – sickness, bad news, disability, or simply being new. Your impatience is the problem, not their speed. Slow down, breathe, and cultivate patience for yourself and others in a world conditioned for instant gratification.

7. Everyone and Everything is Your Teacher

Life is an ongoing classroom in which everyone is our teacher, and every situation contains a lesson for us to learn.

Lessons everywhere. Every person you meet, every situation you encounter, offers an opportunity for growth and learning. Even difficult relationships or disagreements provide valuable lessons, often showing us how not to be or pushing our buttons to help us mature beyond reactivity.

Value disagreement. While comfort comes from those who agree, tremendous growth comes from those who disagree. Learn to listen to any perspective without losing your temper, accepting that the opposite of what you know can also be true for someone else based on their experience.

Forgive and connect. Don't shut the door on people from past arguments. Disagreements only become conflicts when pride and ego are involved. Learn to accept apologies you never received and strive to connect with people, recognizing we are all in this together, trying our best.

8. Gratitude is the Antidote to Suffering

Gratitude is an amazing antidote to almost any negative feeling.

Gratitude stomps negativity. When you feel cranky or frustrated, shifting your focus to gratitude can instantly change your perspective. Being grateful for shelter during a storm or a healthy relationship during neighbors' arguments makes complaints disappear.

Antidote to anger and fear. Gratitude and anger cannot coexist; focusing on gratitude for someone instantly dissolves anger towards them. Similarly, faith is the antidote to fear; feeding your faith starves your fears.

Cultivate appreciation. Breathing is a gift, health is a gift, life itself is a gift. Accept these with gratitude. Make gratitude a regular practice – in thoughts, words, and actions. Share it online, with family, at work. It balances negativity and combats entitlement.

9. You Are Responsible for Your Own Happiness

What I learned is that nobody is in charge of your happiness (or unhappiness) except YOU!

Choices have consequences. Your life today is a direct result of your past decisions. You have tremendous personal responsibility for your circumstances and the power to steer your future. Be mindful of the far-reaching consequences of your choices, not just instant gratification.

Look within. Instead of blaming others for your dilemmas, look within. Difficult circumstances, while caused by past events, can be blessings if you gain wisdom from them. History doesn't have to repeat itself if you learn from your mistakes.

Choose happiness. You are in charge of your emotional state. You can choose to be happy or afraid; the choice is always yours. Letting go of emotional attachment to people who don't meet your expectations, for example, frees you from suffering caused by those expectations.

10. Compassion and Kindness Transform the World

Compassion is the only thing that can break down political, dogmatic, ideological, and religious boundaries.

Treat others kindly. Treat every living being, including yourself, with kindness, and the world immediately becomes a better place. A stranger is just a friend you haven't met. Never underestimate the healing power of love and kindness; it's essential for survival, free, and unlimited.

Live and let live. You don't have to agree with others' choices (political, religious, dietary, etc.), but learn to live peacefully with their freedom to choose. Lead by example rather than trying to force others to adopt your values.

Be the change. Voting isn't just every four years; it's daily with your wallet and actions. Support causes you believe in through your purchases and behavior. Bridge the gap between your beliefs and how you act in the world. Do good without affiliation, simply for the sake of doing good.

Last updated: May 27, 2025