Chicken Soup for the Girl's Soul

1. Embrace your uniqueness and self-worth

"You are never too young to take a stand."

Celebrate individuality. Every girl has unique qualities that make her special. Instead of trying to fit in or change yourself to please others, focus on developing your own talents, interests and personality. Embrace what makes you different.

Build self-confidence. Recognize your inherent worth as a person, regardless of appearance, popularity or achievements. Practice positive self-talk and avoid comparing yourself to others. Surround yourself with people who appreciate and encourage you.

• List 5 things you like about yourself
• Try a new activity that interests you
• Compliment yourself daily
• Stand up for your opinions respectfully

2. Navigate friendships and social pressures with confidence

"True friends are the ones who are always there for you, even when they're not getting anything out of it."

Choose friends wisely. Seek out friendships based on mutual respect, trust and shared values. Be wary of toxic friendships that involve constant drama, peer pressure or put-downs. It's better to have a few close, supportive friends than many superficial ones.

Stay true to yourself. Don't compromise your values or change who you are to fit in or be popular. Learn to say no to things that make you uncomfortable. Real friends will like you for who you are. Stand up for your beliefs, even if it means going against the crowd sometimes.

• Identify qualities of a good friend
• Practice assertiveness skills
• Find activities/clubs aligned with your interests
• Talk to a trusted adult if you feel pressured

3. Cope with family changes and challenges

"Change is not always the worst thing that can happen. Sometimes, it is just what we need the most."

Adapt to transitions. Family changes like divorce, remarriage or moving can be difficult. Allow yourself to feel sad or angry, but try to keep an open mind. Look for positive aspects of the new situation. Maintain connections with loved ones and build new relationships.

Communicate openly. Share your feelings with family members. Ask questions to understand what's happening. If you're struggling, reach out to a counselor or trusted adult for support. Remember that family challenges are not your fault.

• Journal about your emotions
• Create a photo album of good family memories
• Find one positive thing about the change each day
• Schedule regular one-on-one time with parents

4. Handle physical and emotional changes during puberty

"You are not alone in what you are going through!"

Expect changes. Puberty brings many physical and emotional changes that can feel overwhelming. Understand that these changes are normal and happen to everyone, just at different times. Be patient with your body and mood swings.

Take care of yourself. Practice good hygiene, eat well, exercise and get enough sleep. Talk to a doctor, parent or trusted adult about any concerns. Remember that inner qualities matter more than appearance.

• Learn about puberty from reliable sources
• Start a self-care routine
• Talk to older girls you trust about their experiences
• Write down questions to ask a doctor/parent

5. Develop resilience in the face of bullying and criticism

"You can stand tall without standing on someone. You can be a victor without having victims."

Build inner strength. Develop a strong sense of self-worth that isn't dependent on others' opinions. Practice positive self-talk and affirmations. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments.

Respond effectively. Don't engage with bullies or return insults. Stand up for yourself calmly and assertively. Seek help from adults if bullying persists. Surround yourself with supportive people who build you up.

• Create a list of your positive qualities
• Practice confident body language
• Role-play assertive responses to criticism
• Join activities that boost your self-esteem

6. Explore crushes and first relationships responsibly

"Never should have dumped him for a guy who lives over two hours away from me. It was such a stupid idea and a stupid thing to do."

Take it slow. First crushes and relationships can be exciting but also confusing. Don't rush into dating or physical intimacy. Focus on getting to know the person as a friend first. Set boundaries and stick to them.

Maintain balance. Don't neglect other friendships or activities for a crush. A healthy relationship adds to your life without taking over. Be wary of controlling or manipulative behavior. Remember that you deserve respect and kindness.

• List qualities you want in a partner
• Practice saying no to uncomfortable situations
• Plan group activities instead of one-on-one dates
• Talk to a trusted adult about relationship questions

7. Find your voice and stand up for your beliefs

"I learned to speak up, to overcome my shyness. I also learned to say a little prayer and then go for it when something really matters."

Develop confidence. Practice speaking up in low-stakes situations to build your skills. Start with small steps like raising your hand in class or sharing an opinion with friends. Remember that your voice and ideas matter.

Act with courage. When you see injustice or something that goes against your values, speak out. Stand up for others who are being mistreated. Your actions can inspire others and create positive change.

• Join a debate club or public speaking group
• Write a letter to the editor about an issue you care about
• Volunteer for a cause you believe in
• Practice "I statements" to express your feelings/opinions

8. Cultivate inner strength and positive self-image

"Not being beautiful was the true blessing . . . not being beautiful forced me to develop my inner resources."

Focus on character. Recognize that true beauty comes from within. Develop qualities like kindness, integrity, and resilience. Set goals and work towards them to build self-esteem through accomplishment.

Challenge beauty standards. Question unrealistic media portrayals of beauty. Appreciate the diversity of human appearance. Focus on being healthy and feeling good in your own skin rather than trying to look a certain way.

• List 10 non-physical qualities you admire in others
• Create art that celebrates diverse beauty
• Identify and challenge negative self-talk
• Compliment others on their character, not just looks

9. Learn from mistakes and grow through experiences

"I learned an important truth—change is not always the worst thing that can happen. Sometimes, it is just what we need the most."

Embrace failure as growth. View mistakes as learning opportunities rather than defeats. Analyze what went wrong and how you can improve next time. Don't let fear of failure hold you back from trying new things.

Reflect on experiences. Take time to process your emotions and lessons from challenging situations. Journal, talk to trusted friends/adults, or express yourself creatively. Use what you've learned to make better choices in the future.

• Keep a "lessons learned" journal
• Practice reframing negative experiences positively
• Set small, achievable goals to build confidence
• Share your story to help others learn from your experiences

Last updated: December 2, 2024