Coming of Age in Samoa

1. Adolescence is not a universally stressful period of life.

Is adolescence a period of mental and emotional distress for the growing girl as inevitably as teething is a period of misery for the small baby?

Cultural variation. Mead's central finding challenges the Western notion that adolescent turmoil is a biological inevitability. By studying Samoan girls, she found that the physical changes of puberty were not inherently linked to psychological storm and stress. The transition was smooth and relatively uneventful compared to the experience of American youth.

Environmental influence. The differences observed between Samoan and American adolescents strongly suggest that the difficulties associated with this period are largely shaped by the social and cultural environment, not by the biological process itself. If the same biological stage takes different forms in different cultures, the explanation must lie in the cultural context.

Questioning assumptions. This finding prompts a critical examination of the factors within Western civilization that contribute to adolescent distress. It shifts the focus from inherent human nature to the specific pressures and expectations placed upon young people during this developmental phase in different societies.

2. Samoan society is characterized by a pervasive casualness and avoidance of high stakes.

For Samoa is a place where no one plays for very high stakes, no one pays very heavy prices, no one suffers for his convictions or fights to the death for special ends.

Low emotional intensity. Life in Samoa is marked by a general lack of deep emotional investment in outcomes or relationships. Disagreements are easily resolved by physical separation (moving house or village), and personal losses like death or failed relationships are grieved for weeks, not years.

Absence of existential threat. The abundant environment and stable social system mean that basic survival is not a constant struggle. There are no implacable gods or devastating natural disasters that instill deep fear or existential anxiety, contributing to a more relaxed outlook on life.

Discouraging intensity. This cultural preference for casualness means that individuals who exhibit strong emotions or intense attachments are often seen as deviants. The society rewards those who take setbacks lightly and move on quickly, reinforcing the prevailing attitude of emotional moderation.

3. Diffused family structure and shared child-rearing prevent intense emotional ties.

Children reared in households where there are a half dozen adult women to care for them and dry their tears, and a half dozen adult males, all of whom represent constituted authority, do not distinguish their parents as sharply as our children do.

Multiple caregivers. Samoan children are raised in large, extended households where caregiving responsibilities are shared among many adults and older siblings. This prevents the formation of intense, exclusive emotional bonds between a child and a single parent figure.

Reduced dependency. With many adults providing affection and authority, children do not develop the deep dependency on one or two individuals that is common in smaller nuclear families. This diffuses potential conflicts and reduces the likelihood of crippling psychological complexes like Oedipus or Electra.

Flexibility and escape. The ease with which children can move between the households of different relatives provides a built-in escape valve for minor conflicts or dissatisfactions. This prevents any single authority figure from exerting excessive or tyrannical control, further mitigating intense emotional friction.

4. Early, open exposure to sex, birth, and death reduces shame and psychological distress.

None of the facts of sex or of birth are regarded as unfit for children, no child has to conceal its knowledge for fear of punishment or ponder painfully over little-understood occurrences.

Lack of secrecy. Samoan children are exposed to the realities of birth, death, and sex from a very young age due to the lack of privacy in homes and communal living arrangements. These events are treated as natural parts of life, not as shameful or forbidden topics.

Normalizing experiences. Witnessing these events frequently and without accompanying adult anxiety or secrecy prevents the development of fear, guilt, or distorted understandings. Children gain a matter-of-fact familiarity that contrasts sharply with the often traumatic or confusing experiences of Western children who encounter these topics in isolation or through secrecy.

Reduced psychological burden. This early and open exposure removes a significant source of potential psychological distress. Unlike in societies where these topics are taboo, Samoan children are not burdened by hidden knowledge, unanswered questions, or the fear of accidental discovery, which can contribute to later neuroses.

5. Limited choices and homogenous standards simplify decision-making for youth.

The Samoan girl's choices are far otherwise.

One accepted way of life. In contrast to the multitude of conflicting standards and life paths available in Western society, Samoan culture presents a relatively unified and consistent set of norms and expectations. There is one religion, one moral code (largely ignored in practice regarding pre-marital sex), and limited occupational diversity.

Reduced cognitive load. Young people are not faced with overwhelming decisions about fundamental beliefs, values, or career paths. Their choices are typically practical and concrete, such as deciding which relative to live with based on immediate benefits like food or companionship, rather than abstract or identity-defining.

Conformity over individuality. The emphasis is on conforming to the established pattern of village life rather than forging a unique individual identity. This reduces the pressure to make difficult personal choices that might alienate family or community, simplifying the transition to adulthood.

6. Learning is integrated into daily life, with early responsibility and less pressure to excel.

From the time they are four or five years old they perform definite tasks, graded to their strength and intelligence, but still tasks which have a meaning in the structure of the whole society.

Learning by doing. Samoan children learn necessary skills by participating directly in the daily activities of the household and village, such as baby-tending, fishing, weaving, and food preparation. There is less reliance on formal, abstract instruction.

Meaningful contribution. Children's tasks are seen as essential contributions to the functioning of the household and community. This gives them a sense of purpose and belonging from a young age, unlike Western children whose activities are often disconnected from adult work.

Discouraging precocity. While basic competence is expected, there is a cultural tendency to discourage excessive ambition or precocity, except in specific areas like dancing. This reduces competitive pressure and allows children to develop at a more relaxed pace without fear of falling behind or being pushed too hard.

7. Dancing provides a unique outlet for individual expression and recognition.

In the dance there are virtuosos but no formal teachers.

Individualistic performance. Unlike many other activities which emphasize conformity, dancing in Samoa is highly individualistic. Dancers are encouraged to develop their own style and are applauded for their skill and originality.

Social validation. Dancing is a key social activity where individuals, including children, can gain recognition and praise from the community. This provides a valuable outlet for self-expression and boosts confidence in a society where other forms of individuality are often downplayed.

Compensation for repression. The freedom and attention gained on the dance floor can compensate for the strict subordination and lack of individual focus experienced in other areas of life, particularly within the household hierarchy. It's a sanctioned space for performance and personality display.

8. Conflict is rare and often resolved by changing residence rather than confrontation.

The ease with which personality differences can be adjusted by a change of residence prevents the Samoans from pressing one another too hard.

Avoidance as a strategy. Rather than engaging in direct confrontation or prolonged disputes, Samoans often resolve conflicts by simply moving to live with other relatives. This fluid residential pattern prevents tensions from escalating within a single household or relationship.

Lack of intense relationships. The diffused nature of affection and the absence of deep emotional ties mean that disagreements are less likely to be charged with intense personal feeling. Conflicts are often seen as temporary inconveniences rather than fundamental betrayals.

Group disapproval over legal action. While serious offenses like incest or theft can lead to banishment or severe group disapproval, minor conflicts or personality clashes are typically handled through social pressure or the simple act of one party leaving the situation. There is little formal legal machinery for interpersonal disputes.

9. Formal sex relations and marriage are practical arrangements, not based on romantic love.

Romantic love as it occurs in our civilisation, inextricably bound up with ideas of monogamy, exclusiveness, jealousy and undeviating fidelity does not occur in Samoa.

Sex as natural pleasure. Sex is viewed as a normal, pleasurable activity, and pre-marital experimentation is common and largely accepted, especially among untitled youth. There is little associated shame or guilt.

Marriage for social/economic reasons. Marriage is primarily understood as a social and economic arrangement between families, considering factors like wealth, rank, and skill. Personal attraction or romantic love is not considered a necessary foundation for a successful marriage.

Casual infidelity and divorce. Due to the lack of intense emotional investment in marital relationships, infidelity is relatively common and divorce is a simple, informal process. This prevents individuals from being trapped in unhappy unions, contributing to overall social stability at the expense of deep marital bonds.

10. Deviance and delinquency are uncommon and often linked to unusual circumstances or temperament.

But were there really delinquent girls in this little primitive village, girls who were incapable of developing new standards and incapable of adjusting themselves to the old ones?

Rarity of maladjustment. Despite the apparent lack of strict discipline by Western standards, severe psychological maladjustment and delinquency are rare in Samoa. The flexible social structure and casual attitudes provide buffers against many potential sources of stress.

Specific causal factors. The few cases of significant deviance observed were often linked to unusual circumstances that deviated from the typical Samoan pattern, such as:

• Lack of diffused affection (e.g., being the only young person in an unsympathetic household)
• Unusual temperament (e.g., having an exceptionally strong capacity for emotion or jealousy)
• Unfortunate reputation (e.g., being branded as a thief from a young age)

Lack of pattern for deviance. Unlike in Western society where patterns of rebellion and delinquency exist, there is no established cultural script for severe deviance in Samoa. This makes it harder for individuals to fall into persistent patterns of conflict with the group.

11. Western society's complexity and conflicting standards contribute to adolescent turmoil.

Our children grow up to find a world of choices dazzling their unaccustomed eyes.

Multitude of choices. Western adolescents face an overwhelming array of choices in religion, morality, career, and lifestyle, often presented by different groups with mutually exclusive beliefs. This forces difficult, identity-defining decisions at a young age.

Conflicting standards within groups. Even within a single family or social group, there are often inherent contradictions or compromises between different philosophies (e.g., Christian teachings vs. societal acceptance of war). This adds another layer of confusion and potential conflict.

Intense family pressure. Parents in Western society often exert significant emotional pressure to steer their children towards specific choices, viewing it as a battle against competing influences. This makes the process of choosing highly personal and emotionally charged, unlike the more detached guidance in Samoa.

12. Education should prepare youth for choice rather than imposing single standards.

The children must be taught how to think, not what to think.

Training for complexity. Given the inherent complexity and diversity of Western society, education should focus on equipping children with the skills to navigate multiple perspectives and make informed choices, rather than attempting to shield them or indoctrinate them into a single standard.

Promoting open-mindedness and tolerance. Instead of teaching intolerance towards differing views, education should cultivate open-mindedness and tolerance for diverse ways of life. Children need to understand that many valid paths exist.

Mitigating family intensity. While not advocating for the complete diffusion of affection seen in Samoa, Western society could benefit from mitigating the intense, sometimes crippling, emotional pressure within nuclear families, allowing children more space to make choices without undue filial burden.

Last updated: June 9, 2025