Designing Your Life

1. Design Your Life: Embrace an Iterative Approach to Personal Growth

You can't know what you want until you know what you might want, so you are going to have to generate a lot of ideas and possibilities.

Life as a design project. Just as designers approach problems with creativity and iteration, we can apply the same principles to our lives. This means constantly generating ideas, testing them out, and refining our approach based on what we learn.

Embrace uncertainty. Rather than trying to plan out your entire life in advance, focus on taking small steps and remaining open to new possibilities. This iterative approach allows for greater flexibility and adaptability in the face of changing circumstances.

Key design thinking principles:

• Curiosity: Maintain an open and inquisitive mindset
• Bias to action: Prioritize doing over endless planning
• Reframing: Look at problems from different perspectives
• Radical collaboration: Engage others in your life design process

2. Reframe Dysfunctional Beliefs to Unlock New Possibilities

Designers don't think their way forward. Designers build their way forward.

Identify limiting beliefs. Many of us hold dysfunctional beliefs that constrain our thinking and prevent us from exploring new possibilities. By recognizing these beliefs, we can begin to challenge and reframe them.

Adopt empowering perspectives. Replace limiting beliefs with more empowering ones that open up new avenues for growth and exploration. This shift in mindset can dramatically expand the range of options available to us.

Examples of reframing dysfunctional beliefs:

• From "I should already know where I'm going" to "You can't know where you are going until you know where you are"
• From "Work is not supposed to be enjoyable" to "Enjoyment is a guide to finding the right work for you"
• From "I am looking for a job" to "I am pursuing a number of offers"

3. Build a Compass: Align Your Work and Life Views

If you can see the connections between who you are, what you believe, and what you are doing, you will know when you are on course, when there is tension, when there might need to be some careful compromises, and when you are in need of a major course correction.

Develop your Workview. Reflect on what work means to you, its purpose in your life, and how it relates to your values and goals. This provides a foundation for making career decisions that align with your deeper motivations.

Articulate your Lifeview. Consider your beliefs about the world, what gives life meaning, and how you relate to others and society. This broader perspective helps ensure that your career choices support your overall life vision.

Seek coherence. Aim for alignment between your Workview and Lifeview. This coherence creates a sense of purpose and direction, guiding you towards more fulfilling life and career choices.

4. Prototype Your Way Forward: Experiment and Learn

Prototyping is also about building empathy and understanding. Our prototyping process inevitably requires collaboration, working with others.

Start small and iterate. Instead of making big, risky changes, focus on creating small, low-stakes experiments to test out ideas and gather real-world feedback. This approach reduces fear and allows for faster learning and adaptation.

Embrace diverse prototypes. Explore different aspects of potential paths through various prototyping methods:

• Conversations: Engage in informational interviews
• Experiences: Shadow someone in a role you're interested in
• Trial projects: Take on short-term assignments or volunteer work

Learn actively. Pay attention to what energizes you, what you find engaging, and what aspects of a prototype resonate with your values and goals. Use these insights to refine your direction and inform future experiments.

5. Engage in Meaningful Conversations to Uncover Hidden Opportunities

The Life Design Interview is incredibly simple. It just means getting someone's story.

Conduct Life Design Interviews. Reach out to people whose careers or life paths interest you. Focus on understanding their journey, challenges, and day-to-day experiences rather than asking for a job.

Ask powerful questions. Prepare thoughtful questions that go beyond surface-level information:

• What does a typical day look like for you?
• What aspects of your work do you find most energizing?
• What challenges have you faced in your career, and how did you overcome them?

Listen actively and empathetically. Pay attention to both the content of their stories and the emotions behind them. This deeper understanding can provide valuable insights for your own life design process.

6. Generate Multiple Options to Make Better Choices

Designers love questions, but what they really love is reframing questions.

Embrace divergent thinking. Instead of fixating on finding the "one right answer," generate multiple possibilities. This approach increases the likelihood of discovering truly innovative and fulfilling options.

Use ideation techniques:

• Mind mapping: Visually explore connections between ideas
• Brainstorming: Generate a high volume of ideas without judgment
• Odyssey Plans: Create three distinct five-year plans to explore different life possibilities

Evaluate options holistically. Consider factors beyond just practicality or salary, such as alignment with your values, potential for growth, and overall life satisfaction.

7. Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity

Designers get stuck all the time. Being stuck can be a launching pad for creativity.

Redefine failure. Instead of viewing failure as a personal shortcoming, see it as valuable feedback and an opportunity for growth. This mindset shift reduces fear and encourages bold action.

Fail fast and learn. Embrace small failures early in the process to gain insights quickly and make necessary adjustments. This approach is far less costly than investing heavily in a path that ultimately doesn't work.

Practice failure reframing:

1. Log your failures
2. Categorize them (screwups, weaknesses, growth opportunities)
3. Identify growth insights and actionable lessons

8. Choose Happiness Through Mindful Decision-Making

There is no perfect job that you perfectly fit, but you can make lots of jobs perfect enough.

Focus on good choosing. Shift your attention from finding the "perfect" choice to developing a robust decision-making process. This approach leads to greater satisfaction with your choices.

Steps for effective decision-making:

1. Gather and create options
2. Narrow down the list (aim for 3-5 top choices)
3. Choose discerningly, using multiple ways of knowing (rational, emotional, intuitive)
4. Let go and move forward with confidence

Practice letting go. Once a decision is made, avoid constantly second-guessing yourself. Instead, direct your energy towards making the most of your chosen path.

9. Cultivate a Collaborative Support System for Your Life Design

Life design is about your life, but it's not all about you—it's all about us.

Build a diverse support network. Recognize that effective life design is a collaborative process. Surround yourself with people who can offer different perspectives and support your growth.

Key roles in your support system:

• Supporters: Provide encouragement and feedback
• Players: Active participants in your projects and prototypes
• Intimates: Close family and friends affected by your choices
• The Team: A core group (3-5 people) dedicated to your life design process
• Mentors: Offer wisdom, counsel, and a broader perspective

Engage in regular reflection and sharing. Meet with your support team to discuss your progress, challenges, and new ideas. This ongoing dialogue helps maintain momentum and provides accountability in your life design journey.

Last updated: January 22, 2025