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Etiquette Guide to Japan

Etiquette Guide to Japan

Know the Rules that Make the Difference! (Third Edition)
by Boye Lafayette De Mente 2015 192 pages
3.78
500+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Japanese etiquette is rooted in harmony and respect

The absolutes in system were peace and a minutely detailed respect—all within the context of the superior-inferior structure of the society.

Harmony as foundation. Japanese etiquette, or "wa," is deeply ingrained in society, emphasizing peace and respect within a hierarchical structure. This system developed over centuries, influenced by Shinto beliefs, Buddhism, and Confucian principles. The goal is to maintain social harmony by adhering to prescribed behaviors that show proper deference to others based on their social status.

Practical manifestations:

  • Using appropriate honorific language
  • Bowing to show respect and gratitude
  • Avoiding direct confrontation or disagreement
  • Prioritizing group consensus over individual desires

Cultural impact. This etiquette system shapes every aspect of Japanese life, from personal interactions to business dealings. It creates a society that values politeness, consideration, and indirect communication to maintain smooth relationships and avoid conflict.

2. Bowing and gift-giving are crucial social customs

The bow is the traditional Japanese method of expressing greetings, saying farewell, paying respect, apologizing, showing humility, and indicating understanding and acceptance.

Bowing nuances. The bow is a cornerstone of Japanese etiquette, with variations in depth and duration conveying different levels of respect or formality. Mastering the subtleties of bowing is essential for navigating social situations in Japan.

Bowing guidelines:

  • Light bow (20-degree angle): Casual greetings
  • Medium bow (45-degree angle): Formal situations, showing deep respect
  • Deep bow (70-90 degree angle): Expressing extreme gratitude or apology

Gift-giving culture. Presenting gifts is another crucial aspect of Japanese social etiquette, serving to build and maintain relationships. The act of giving is often more important than the gift itself, with careful attention paid to wrapping and presentation.

Key gift-giving occasions:

  • O-chugen (mid-summer) and O-seibo (year-end): Seasonal gift-giving to colleagues and business associates
  • Home visits: Bringing small gifts for hosts
  • Special life events: Weddings, births, and graduations

3. Dining etiquette reflects cultural refinement

The beauty of the food, the artistic complement of the table-ware, the formal manner of the service, and the proper dining etiquette were considered among the highest levels of cultural expression, indicative of one's character and refinement.

Aesthetic appreciation. Japanese dining etiquette goes beyond mere table manners, embodying a holistic appreciation for the aesthetics of food presentation, tableware, and the dining environment. This attention to detail reflects the cultural value placed on mindfulness and respect for craftsmanship.

Key dining etiquette points:

  • Hold bowls close to your mouth when eating
  • Use chopsticks correctly (never stick them vertically in rice)
  • Slurping noodles is acceptable and shows appreciation
  • Wait for the host to begin eating before starting your meal
  • Express gratitude before and after the meal with "Itadakimasu" and "Gochisousama"

Cultural significance. Adhering to proper dining etiquette demonstrates one's upbringing, education, and respect for Japanese culture. It's an essential skill for both social and business settings, often serving as a subtle indicator of one's character and attention to detail.

4. Public behavior emphasizes consideration for others

The Japanese are among the world's most helpful, generous and hospitable people, and their public behavior is far superior to what is common in most other countries.

Collective mindset. Japanese society places a high value on considerate public behavior, reflecting a cultural emphasis on group harmony and mutual respect. This manifests in various ways, from quiet train rides to meticulous garbage sorting.

Examples of considerate public behavior:

  • Wearing masks when ill to prevent spreading germs
  • Refraining from loud phone conversations on public transport
  • Queuing orderly for trains and buses
  • Keeping public spaces clean and litter-free

Cultural impact. This emphasis on public etiquette creates a society that feels safe, orderly, and respectful. It also sets expectations for visitors to be mindful of their impact on others, encouraging a more harmonious public environment for everyone.

5. Business relationships require patience and formality

Establishing a relationship with a Japanese company can be a long, drawn-out affair because a number of cultural imperatives must be satisfied in the process.

Relationship-building focus. In Japanese business culture, building trust and personal relationships often takes precedence over immediate business goals. This process requires patience, adherence to formal etiquette, and an understanding of hierarchical structures within companies.

Key aspects of Japanese business etiquette:

  • Proper exchange of business cards (meishi kōkan)
  • Respect for hierarchical structures in meetings and decision-making
  • Use of appropriate honorific language
  • Emphasis on consensus-building (nemawashi) before formal meetings
  • After-hours socializing as a crucial part of relationship-building

Cultural implications. This approach to business relationships can be challenging for those accustomed to more direct, transaction-focused cultures. However, investing time in relationship-building can lead to stronger, more stable long-term business partnerships in Japan.

6. Language use reflects social hierarchy and politeness

Over the centuries, special words, special word endings, and several different "levels" of the Japanese language emerged as part of the overall etiquette system.

Linguistic complexity. The Japanese language incorporates various levels of politeness and formality, reflecting the society's hierarchical structure. Mastering these nuances is crucial for navigating social and professional situations appropriately.

Key language considerations:

  • Keigo: Honorific language used to show respect to superiors or customers
  • Humble forms: Used when referring to oneself or one's actions
  • Casual forms: Used among peers or in informal settings

Cultural significance. The ability to switch between these language levels demonstrates social awareness and respect for others' positions. It's an essential skill for building relationships and avoiding unintentional offense in Japanese society.

7. Traditional customs persist in modern Japan

Even in cosmopolitan Tokyo and other Japanese cities the evidence of age-old forms of behavior is readily obvious.

Blend of old and new. Despite rapid modernization, many traditional customs and etiquette practices continue to play a significant role in Japanese society. This creates a unique cultural landscape where ancient traditions coexist with cutting-edge technology.

Examples of persisting traditions:

  • Removal of shoes when entering homes and certain businesses
  • Seasonal festivals and ceremonies at shrines and temples
  • Traditional arts like tea ceremony and flower arrangement
  • Use of traditional inns (ryokan) for vacations

Cultural implications. This persistence of tradition provides a sense of cultural continuity and identity for many Japanese people. For visitors, it offers opportunities to experience aspects of Japan's rich cultural heritage alongside its modern innovations.

8. Navigating public spaces requires cultural awareness

Visitors are advised to avoid using public transportation during the worst of the rush hours.

Spatial etiquette. Navigating Japanese public spaces, especially in crowded urban areas, requires an understanding of unspoken rules and cultural norms. This awareness helps maintain the smooth flow of daily life and shows respect for local customs.

Key points for public navigation:

  • Stand on the correct side of escalators (varies by region)
  • Avoid eating while walking in public
  • Refrain from talking loudly on public transport
  • Be mindful of priority seating for elderly, disabled, or pregnant individuals

Cultural impact. Adhering to these unspoken rules helps maintain the orderly and considerate public atmosphere that Japan is known for. It also demonstrates respect for local customs, which is appreciated by Japanese people.

9. Criticism and praise have unique cultural implications

Japanese can be much more sensitive to criticism than they are to compliments.

Indirect communication. In Japanese culture, direct criticism is often avoided to maintain harmony and prevent loss of face. Similarly, excessive praise can cause discomfort or be seen as insincere. Understanding these nuances is crucial for effective communication.

Guidelines for criticism and praise:

  • Use indirect language to convey criticism
  • Offer criticism in private, not in front of others
  • Be modest when receiving compliments
  • Praise the group rather than singling out individuals

Cultural significance. This approach to criticism and praise reflects the Japanese values of group harmony and modesty. It requires a more nuanced approach to feedback and recognition, especially in professional settings, to maintain positive relationships and avoid unintended offense.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.78 out of 5
Average of 500+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Etiquette Guide to Japan receives mixed reviews, with an average rating of 3.78 out of 5. Readers appreciate its insights into Japanese culture, customs, and social norms, finding it particularly useful for business travelers. The book's historical context and comprehensive coverage are praised. However, some criticize its outdated information, oversimplification of Japanese society, and focus on business etiquette rather than tourist needs. Despite its flaws, many readers consider it a helpful introduction to Japanese etiquette, especially for first-time visitors or those unfamiliar with the culture.

Your rating:

About the Author

Boyé Lafayette De Mente is a renowned author and expert on Asian cultures, particularly Japan. With a career spanning decades, he has been involved with Japan, China, Korea, and Mexico since the late 1940s in various capacities, including intelligence work, journalism, and academia. De Mente is credited with introducing many Japanese business terms to the Western world and has authored over 70 books on topics ranging from language learning to business practices in Asian countries. His extensive knowledge and experience have made him a respected authority on Japanese culture and etiquette, with his works serving as valuable resources for both business professionals and cultural enthusiasts.

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