Far From The Tree

1. Horizontal identities challenge traditional notions of family and inheritance

There is no such thing as reproduction. When two people decide to have a baby, they engage in an act of production, and the widespread use of the word reproduction for this activity, with its implication that two people are but braiding themselves together, is at best a euphemism to comfort prospective parents before they get in over their heads.

Redefining family dynamics. Solomon introduces the concept of horizontal identities, which are traits or conditions that children have that are foreign to their parents. These can include deafness, dwarfism, autism, or being transgender. Unlike vertical identities (such as ethnicity or religion) that are passed down from parent to child, horizontal identities create a unique dynamic within families.

Challenging expectations. Parents often expect their children to be similar to them, but horizontal identities disrupt this assumption. This can lead to a range of emotions, from confusion and grief to ultimately acceptance and love. Solomon argues that these differences can actually strengthen families by fostering greater empathy, understanding, and appreciation for diversity.

Societal implications. The existence of horizontal identities challenges broader societal norms and expectations. It raises questions about what constitutes "normal" and how we as a society should accommodate and celebrate differences. This concept has implications for education, healthcare, and social policies.

2. Deafness: A cultural identity vs. a medical condition to be cured

Deafness is defined as a low-incidence disability. It is estimated that one in a thousand newborns is profoundly deaf, and that twice as many have less severe hearing impairment.

The Deaf culture debate. The deaf community is divided between those who view deafness as a cultural identity to be celebrated and those who see it as a medical condition to be treated. This division is exemplified by the controversy surrounding cochlear implants, which can provide a sense of sound to some deaf individuals.

Deaf culture proponents argue for:

• Recognition of sign language as a legitimate language
• Preservation of deaf schools and institutions
• Celebration of deaf history and achievements

Medical model advocates push for:

• Early intervention and hearing aids
• Cochlear implants for eligible candidates
• Integration into mainstream society

Language acquisition. Early exposure to language, whether spoken or signed, is crucial for cognitive development. Deaf children of deaf parents often have better language skills and academic outcomes than deaf children of hearing parents, highlighting the importance of early and consistent communication.

3. Dwarfism: Navigating societal prejudices and medical interventions

Betty Adelson, author of The Lives of Dwarfs and Dwarfism, said, 'The only permissible prejudice in PC America is against dwarfs.'

Societal challenges. People with dwarfism face unique challenges in a world designed for average-height individuals. They often encounter discrimination, ridicule, and objectification. The entertainment industry has historically exploited little people, perpetuating harmful stereotypes.

Medical considerations. Dwarfism encompasses various genetic conditions, each with its own set of potential health complications. Controversial medical interventions, such as limb-lengthening surgery, raise ethical questions about the balance between medical treatment and identity preservation.

Key issues faced by people with dwarfism:

• Physical accessibility in a world designed for taller people
• Employment discrimination
• Social stigma and misconceptions
• Medical complications specific to their condition

4. Down syndrome: Changing perceptions and improving quality of life

If I could cure David, I would, for David. But I think that we've grown so much as a result of having to deal with this. We've had so much purpose. I'd never have believed twenty-three years ago when he was born that I could come to such a point, but I have.

Shifting paradigms. Perceptions of Down syndrome have dramatically changed over the past few decades. Once viewed as a severe disability warranting institutionalization, individuals with Down syndrome are now recognized for their potential and unique contributions to society.

Medical advancements. Improved healthcare and early interventions have significantly increased life expectancy and quality of life for people with Down syndrome. However, prenatal testing has also led to ethical debates about selective abortion.

Inclusion and potential. Many individuals with Down syndrome now attend mainstream schools, hold jobs, and live semi-independently. This progress challenges previous assumptions about their capabilities and highlights the importance of support and opportunity.

5. Autism: The spectrum of neurodiversity and the quest for understanding

If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes – and we become attached to the heroic strain in our personal history.

Spectrum of experiences. Autism encompasses a wide range of experiences, from individuals who are non-verbal and require constant care to those who are highly articulate and successful in their fields. This diversity challenges simplistic notions of what autism is and how it should be addressed.

Neurodiversity movement. Some autistic individuals and their allies argue that autism should be seen as a different way of thinking rather than a disorder to be cured. This perspective emphasizes accepting and accommodating neurological differences rather than trying to eliminate them.

Ongoing research. The causes and optimal treatments for autism remain subjects of intense scientific inquiry. This uncertainty can be challenging for families seeking clear answers and solutions, but it also opens up possibilities for new understanding and approaches.

6. Prodigies: The complexities of exceptional abilities

Genius is an abnormality, too.

Double-edged sword. Child prodigies often face unique challenges alongside their extraordinary abilities. The pressure to perform and live up to expectations can lead to burnout, social isolation, and mental health issues.

Nature vs. nurture. The development of prodigious talent involves a complex interplay of genetic predisposition and environmental factors. Intensive training and support are typically necessary to fully realize a prodigy's potential.

Long-term outcomes. Not all child prodigies go on to achieve exceptional success as adults. The transition from childhood stardom to adult life can be challenging, requiring adaptability and the development of a more rounded identity.

7. Transgender identity: Navigating gender in a binary world

Being seen in light of the ghost of who you were expected to be is a kind of emotional violence for many disabled people.

Challenging assumptions. Transgender individuals challenge societal assumptions about the relationship between biological sex and gender identity. This can lead to significant personal struggles and social discrimination.

Medical and social transitions. Many transgender people seek medical interventions such as hormone therapy or surgery to align their bodies with their gender identity. However, the process of transitioning also involves social, legal, and psychological aspects.

Evolving understanding. Scientific understanding of gender identity is still evolving, and societal acceptance of transgender individuals varies widely across cultures and communities. Advocacy efforts focus on increasing awareness, legal protections, and access to appropriate healthcare.

8. Schizophrenia: The impact of severe mental illness on families

Most parents look back even on unhappiness with nostalgia.

Devastating impact. Schizophrenia can have a profound effect on both the individual and their family. The onset of symptoms, typically in late adolescence or early adulthood, can derail a person's life trajectory and place enormous stress on family relationships.

Treatment challenges. While antipsychotic medications can help manage symptoms, finding the right treatment regimen often involves a process of trial and error. Side effects can be significant, and some individuals struggle with medication adherence.

Stigma and support. Families affected by schizophrenia often face societal stigma and isolation. Support groups and education can be crucial in helping families navigate the challenges of living with this condition.

9. Children of rape: Overcoming trauma and finding acceptance

We are more sympathetic to Holocaust survivors than to malcontent children of privilege, but we all have our darkness, and the trick is making something exalted of it.

Complex identities. Children conceived through rape face unique psychological challenges in forming their identities and understanding their origins. They may struggle with feelings of shame, anger, or confusion about their existence.

Mother-child relationships. The relationship between a mother and a child conceived through rape can be complex, potentially involving conflicting emotions of love and trauma. Support and counseling are often crucial for both mother and child.

Societal attitudes. In some cultures, children born of rape face severe stigma and discrimination. Advocacy efforts focus on changing these attitudes and ensuring equal rights and opportunities for these children.

10. Criminal children: The nature vs. nurture debate in antisocial behavior

Parenthood abruptly catapults us into a permanent relationship with a stranger, and the more alien the stranger, the stronger the whiff of negativity.

Multifaceted causes. Criminal behavior in children and adolescents often results from a complex interplay of genetic predisposition, environmental factors, and individual choices. Understanding these factors is crucial for developing effective interventions.

Rehabilitation vs. punishment. Approaches to dealing with juvenile offenders vary, with some systems emphasizing rehabilitation and others focusing more on punishment. The most effective strategies often involve a combination of accountability and support.

Family impact. Having a child who engages in criminal behavior can be devastating for families. Parents may struggle with feelings of guilt, shame, and helplessness, while also trying to support their child and protect society.

11. Disability rights: The ongoing struggle for acceptance and accommodation

A tolerant society softens parents and facilitates self-esteem, but that tolerance has evolved because individuals with good self-esteem have exposed the flawed nature of prejudice.

Changing paradigms. The disability rights movement has shifted the focus from a medical model of disability (seeing disability as something to be "fixed") to a social model (emphasizing the need for society to accommodate diverse abilities).

Legal protections. Laws such as the Americans with Disabilities Act have provided important protections and mandated accommodations. However, implementation and enforcement of these laws remain ongoing challenges.

Representation and visibility. Increasing representation of people with disabilities in media, politics, and other public spheres has been crucial in changing societal attitudes and inspiring younger generations.

12. Parental love: Unconditional acceptance in the face of difference

Love does not conquer all, but it can conquer quite a lot.

Transformative power. Many parents in Solomon's book describe how their experiences with their "different" children have transformed them, often leading to greater empathy, resilience, and a broader perspective on life.

Balancing acceptance and intervention. Parents often struggle to find the right balance between accepting their child as they are and seeking interventions or treatments that might improve their quality of life. This tension is particularly evident in debates around issues like cochlear implants for deaf children or behavioral therapies for autistic children.

Community support. Parents of children with horizontal identities often find crucial support and understanding in communities of others facing similar challenges. These connections can provide both practical advice and emotional sustenance.

Last updated: July 22, 2024