Plot Summary
Unexpected Reunion on the Track
Huck returns to Utah after four years, drawn by his father's illness. Seeking solace, he heads to the backyard dirt track, a place of past freedom. Unexpectedly, Taylor appears, challenging him to a race. The race is a mix of nostalgia and tension, with Huck struggling to keep up. Taylor's presence stirs old emotions, and Huck's frustration boils over. Despite the years apart, the unresolved tension between them is palpable, setting the stage for a confrontation that neither is ready for.
Tension at the Family Table
Huck joins his father and stepmother, Maisie, for lunch, only to be interrupted by Taylor's arrival. The atmosphere is thick with unspoken history and unresolved issues. Taylor's casual demeanor contrasts with Huck's simmering resentment. The conversation is strained, with Taylor's presence a constant reminder of past conflicts. Huck's discomfort grows as he notices the absence of any trace of Taylor in the family home, highlighting the deep-seated issues between Taylor and his mother. The lunch ends with more questions than answers, leaving Huck feeling unsettled.
Racing Memories and Resentment
Huck seeks refuge on the dirt track, hoping to clear his mind. Taylor's unexpected challenge to a race brings back memories of their past, both good and bad. The race is intense, with Huck struggling to keep up with Taylor's skill and speed. The physical exertion mirrors the emotional turmoil within Huck, as he grapples with unresolved feelings and anger towards Taylor. The race ends with Huck's frustration boiling over, leading to a confrontation that leaves both men reeling from the emotional impact.
Secrets and Revelations Unfold
After the race, Huck confronts his father about Taylor's presence. The conversation reveals hidden truths about the family's past, including his father's struggles and the real reason behind his departure from the priesthood. Huck learns about the complex dynamics between his father, Maisie, and Taylor, shedding light on the strained relationships. The revelations leave Huck questioning his understanding of his family and his place within it, adding another layer of complexity to his already tumultuous return home.
Confrontation and Confusion Revisited
Taylor and Huck's relationship is fraught with tension as they navigate their complex emotions. Huck's anger and confusion boil over when he confronts Taylor about their past, leading to a physical altercation that leaves both men reeling. Despite the violence, there's an underlying current of unresolved feelings and a desperate need for closure. Taylor's attempts to explain his actions only add to Huck's frustration, as the unresolved tension between them becomes more apparent. The confrontation leaves Huck feeling more conflicted than ever, as he grapples with the lingering emotions and the impact of Taylor's presence on his life.
Tension at the Qualifier
The Qualifier for the Nitro Fuel Games is a pivotal moment for Taylor and Christian, both vying for a spot in the prestigious competition. The atmosphere is charged with anticipation and rivalry, as each rider showcases their best tricks. Taylor's performance is a testament to his skill and determination, earning him a near-perfect score and securing his place in the competition. However, the victory is bittersweet, as the tension between him and Huck looms large, casting a shadow over his success.
A Night of Truths and Dares
A party game of Truth or Dare among friends becomes a catalyst for revealing hidden tensions and unresolved issues. As secrets are exposed and emotions run high, the game serves as a microcosm of the larger conflicts at play. Taylor's jealousy and possessiveness come to the forefront, while Huck grapples with his own insecurities and fears. The night culminates in a heated confrontation between Taylor and Huck, forcing them to confront their feelings and the reality of their relationship.
A Drive to Clarity
In the aftermath of the party, Taylor and Huck take a drive to clear their heads and find clarity. The journey through the canyon becomes a metaphor for their relationship, as they navigate the twists and turns of their emotions. The drive provides a space for honest conversation and vulnerability, allowing them to address their fears and hopes for the future. Despite the uncertainty of what lies ahead, the drive solidifies their commitment to each other, setting the stage for a new chapter in their relationship.
A Night Under the Stars
In the quiet of the canyon, Taylor and Huck share a moment of peace under the stars. Taylor opens up about his past, revealing the scars of his childhood and the solace he finds in the quiet of nature. Huck listens, understanding the weight of Taylor's past and the strength it took to overcome it. As they sit together, the stars above them a silent witness, they find a moment of clarity and connection, a reminder of the love that binds them despite the challenges they face.
A Family Divided, A Heart United
At the family barbecue, tensions rise as Maisie voices her disapproval of Taylor. Huck, unable to stand by, declares his love for Taylor to the entire family, making it clear that he won't tolerate any disrespect towards him. This bold declaration is a turning point for Huck, a moment where he chooses love over family expectations. It's a powerful moment that solidifies their bond, showing that their love is worth fighting for.
A Surprise Prom Night
In a gesture of love and redemption, Taylor organizes a surprise prom night for Huck in their old high school gym. It's a chance to rewrite the past, to create a new memory where love triumphs over pain. As they dance together, surrounded by friends and family, the past fades away, leaving only the present and the promise of a future together. It's a moment of healing and hope, a testament to the power of love to overcome even the deepest wounds.
A Love That Transcends Distance
As Huck prepares to leave for Baltimore, the reality of their impending separation looms over them. But instead of fear, they find strength in their love. Taylor's surprise trip to Delaware is a reminder of the journey they've been on, a symbol of the love that has grown between them. Despite the distance, they know that their love will endure, a bond that transcends time and space. It's a promise of forever, a love that will always find its way back home.
Characters
Huckslee Davis
Huck returns to Utah burdened by his father's illness and unresolved feelings towards Taylor. His time away has given him perspective, but the return home stirs old emotions. Huck is torn between his responsibilities to his family and the unresolved tension with Taylor. His internal struggle is compounded by the revelation of family secrets, leaving him questioning his place within the family and his future.
Taylor Tottman
Taylor's journey is one of redemption and growth. From a troubled past, he emerges as a man determined to build a future with Huck. His love for Huck is unwavering, a guiding light that helps him navigate the challenges they face. Taylor's strength lies in his ability to forgive and move forward, to create a life filled with love and hope.
Aaron Davis
Aaron's illness brings Huck back to Utah, but it also reveals the hidden struggles he has faced. His departure from the priesthood and the strained relationship with Taylor are brought to light, adding complexity to his character. Aaron's attempts to reconcile with his sons are met with mixed emotions, as he grapples with his own regrets and the impact of his actions on his family.
Maisie Tottman
Maisie's relationship with Taylor is strained, as she struggles to balance her loyalty to her husband and her love for her son. Her interactions with Huck reveal a desire to mend the fractured family, but her efforts are complicated by the unresolved tension between Taylor and Huck. Maisie's character is a reflection of the complex dynamics within the family, as she navigates the emotional fallout of past decisions.
Christian Totillo
Christian is Taylor's best friend and fellow motocross rider, whose easygoing nature provides a counterbalance to the tension between Taylor and Huck. Despite his own disappointment at the qualifier, Christian remains supportive of Taylor, offering encouragement and camaraderie. His presence serves as a reminder of the importance of friendship and loyalty, even in the face of personal setbacks.
Salem Tottman
Salem is Taylor's close friend and confidante, whose relationship with Logan adds another layer of complexity to the group dynamic. Her loyalty to Taylor is unwavering, but her own unresolved issues with Logan create tension and conflict. Salem's journey is one of self-discovery and reconciliation, as she navigates the challenges of love and friendship.
Logan Davis
Logan is Huck's best friend, whose own relationship struggles mirror the larger conflicts at play. As he grapples with the changes in his life and the impact of Huck's draft selection, Logan is forced to confront his own insecurities and fears. His journey is one of growth and acceptance, as he learns to navigate the complexities of love and friendship.
Devon
Devon's presence in Taylor's life is a reminder of the freedom and acceptance he seeks. His offer of a motorcycle ride is a moment of clarity for Taylor, a chance to escape the judgment and find a moment of peace. Devon's role is a catalyst for change, a reminder that love and acceptance can be found in unexpected places.
Plot Devices
The Dirt Track
The dirt track serves as a powerful symbol throughout the narrative, representing both freedom and conflict. For Huck, it is a place of solace and escape, a reminder of happier times. For Taylor, it is a battleground where unresolved tensions come to the surface. The track is a physical manifestation of their shared history, a place where past and present collide, forcing both characters to confront their emotions and the unresolved issues between them.
The Qualifier
The Qualifier for the Nitro Fuel Games serves as a pivotal plot device, representing the ambition and rivalry between Taylor and Christian. The high-stakes competition is a catalyst for revealing hidden tensions and unresolved issues, forcing the characters to confront their fears and desires. The qualifier is a microcosm of the larger conflicts at play, highlighting the challenges of balancing personal ambition with relationships and loyalty.
Truth or Dare Game
The game of Truth or Dare serves as a plot device to reveal hidden tensions and unresolved issues among the characters. As secrets are exposed and emotions run high, the game becomes a catalyst for confrontation and resolution. The game serves as a microcosm of the larger conflicts at play, highlighting the complexities of love, friendship, and loyalty.
The Drive
The late-night drive through the canyon serves as a metaphor for Taylor and Huck's relationship, representing the twists and turns of their emotions. The drive provides a space for honest conversation and vulnerability, allowing the characters to address their fears and hopes for the future. The drive is a symbol of clarity and resolution, setting the stage for a new chapter in their relationship.
The Motorcycle Ride
The motorcycle ride with Devon serves as a powerful symbol of freedom and clarity for Taylor. It's a moment of escape from the judgment and tension he feels from Huck's family, a chance to find peace and clarity in the wind and speed. The ride is a reminder of the life he wants to build with Huck, one where they can be themselves without fear or judgment.
The Surprise Prom Night
The surprise prom night organized by Taylor is a moment of redemption and healing for both him and Huck. It's a chance to rewrite the past, to create a new memory where love triumphs over pain. The prom is a powerful symbol of their love, a testament to the power of love to overcome even the deepest wounds.
The Trip to Delaware
The trip to Delaware is a powerful symbol of Taylor and Huck's journey and the love that has grown between them. It's a reminder of the challenges they've faced and the love that has endured. The trip is a promise of forever, a love that will always find its way back home.
Analysis
"Finding Delaware" by Bree Wiley is a poignant exploration of love, redemption, and self-discovery. Through the complex relationship between Taylor and Huck, the narrative delves into themes of forgiveness, acceptance, and the courage to embrace one's true self. The story highlights the power of love to heal and unite, transcending the barriers of time and distance. The characters' journeys are a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, as they navigate the challenges of family expectations, personal ambition, and the pursuit of happiness. Ultimately, the book is a celebration of love's enduring power, a reminder that true love is worth fighting for, no matter the obstacles.
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FAQ
Synopsis & Basic Details
What is Finding Delaware about?
- A tumultuous reunion story: The novel centers on Huckslee Davis's return to Utah after four years away, prompted by his father's illness. He unexpectedly reconnects with Taylor Tottman, his former bully and soon-to-be stepbrother, reigniting a complex history of conflict and unspoken feelings.
- Navigating past trauma and secrets: As Huck grapples with family secrets and his own mental health struggles, Taylor confronts the lasting impact of his abusive past. Their forced proximity under one roof brings their unresolved tension to a head, forcing them to confront the painful history that shaped their relationship.
- Finding identity and connection: Against a backdrop of motocross, family drama, and personal demons, Huckslee and Taylor embark on a journey of self-discovery and tentative connection. The story explores whether they can move past years of animosity and trauma to build a genuine relationship, ultimately finding a sense of belonging and acceptance in each other.
Why should I read Finding Delaware?
- Deep dive into complex characters: The book offers a raw and unflinching look at two young men grappling with significant trauma, mental health issues, and societal pressures, providing a psychologically rich reading experience.
- Exploration of heavy, relevant themes: It tackles difficult subjects like child abuse, internalized homophobia, the impact of secrets, and the messy path to forgiveness and self-acceptance, resonating with contemporary struggles.
- Unique blend of genres: Combining elements of contemporary romance, sports fiction (motocross, football, swimming), and psychological drama, the narrative offers a fresh perspective on finding love and healing in unexpected places.
What is the background of Finding Delaware?
- Small-town Utah setting: The story is deeply rooted in a small, religious Utah town, where community reputation and traditional values create a backdrop of pressure and secrecy, particularly regarding sexuality and mental health.
- Motocross and sports culture: The world of amateur motocross racing, high school football, and swimming provides a competitive environment that fuels rivalry and offers both escape and pressure for the characters. Taylor's pursuit of a scholarship through racing is a central plot driver.
- Themes of hidden identity: The narrative explores the tension between public perception (Huckslee as the golden boy, Taylor as the delinquent) and private struggles, highlighting the toll of hiding one's true self in a judgmental environment.
What are the most memorable quotes in Finding Delaware?
- "Out here, nothing has to exist. No fights. Just us. Just Taylor and Huckslee.": This quote, spoken by Huckslee when showing Taylor the backyard track, defines the symbolic "Delaware" space—a place of temporary peace and authenticity away from their real-world conflict and expectations.
- "You're already in my soul. Now the outside just matches.": Huckslee's declaration upon revealing his Delaware tattoo with Taylor's name inside encapsulates the depth of his commitment and the idea that their connection transcends physical distance and past pain.
- "I'm going to love you loud, Taylor.": This powerful statement from Huckslee signifies his decision to stop hiding his feelings and identity, promising Taylor a love that is open and unafraid, directly contrasting the secrecy that defined their past.
What writing style, narrative choices, and literary techniques does Bree Wiley use?
- Dual POV narrative: The story alternates between Huckslee and Taylor's first-person perspectives, offering intimate access to their internal thoughts, emotional turmoil, and differing interpretations of shared events, highlighting their individual struggles and growth.
- Raw and visceral language: Wiley employs a direct, often blunt, and emotionally charged style, particularly in depicting internal monologues, moments of conflict, and physical sensations (like pain, anxiety, or sexual encounters), immersing the reader in the characters' raw experiences.
- Symbolism and motif: Recurring elements like the dirt track ("Delaware"), water (pool, ocean, waterfall), physical scars/bruises, and specific music tracks function as significant symbols and motifs, adding layers of meaning to the characters' emotional states and relationship dynamics.
Hidden Details & Subtle Connections
What are some minor details that add significant meaning?
- The specific music choices: The detailed soundtrack list and mentions of particular songs (e.g., Silversun Pickups, Post Malone, Alesana) aren't just background noise; they often reflect the characters' internal states or the mood of a scene, like Taylor's angry music or Huckslee's comfort songs.
- The recurring mention of eyes: The narrative frequently focuses on the characters' eyes—Taylor's shifting blue-green, Huckslee's dark brown, Logan's honey-brown—using them to convey unspoken emotions, intentions, and moments of vulnerability or connection that words fail to capture.
- The significance of physical touch: Beyond sexual intimacy, the subtle ways characters touch (a hand on a shoulder, fingers brushing, a gentle grip) often signal shifts in their emotional dynamic, revealing care, fear, or tentative trust in moments of high tension.
What are some subtle foreshadowing and callbacks?
- Early mentions of Taylor's father's shop: The initial description of Taylor's helmet plastered with his father's shop name subtly foreshadows the deep financial and emotional control his father holds over his racing career and life choices.
- Huckslee's fear of drowning: Huckslee's description of feeling "drowning" from anxiety or grief early on foreshadows the literal near-drowning incident in the pool with Taylor, linking his psychological state to a physical manifestation of his fears.
- The recurring "compulsive liar" accusation: Maisie's later accusation that Taylor is a "compulsive liar" echoes his earlier high school antics (like the swim team rumor), but the context shifts dramatically after the revelation of his father's abuse, re-framing his past behavior as a coping mechanism rather than inherent dishonesty.
What are some unexpected character connections?
- Taylor's deep bond with Christian's family: Beyond just Christian, Taylor's close relationship with Christian's mom (Juanita) and siblings, who provide him sanctuary and care, highlights the found family he relies on outside of his tumultuous home life.
- Logan's uncle Devon's role: Devon's brief appearance and offer of a motorcycle ride to Taylor, coupled with the later revelation of his own bisexuality and strained family relations, creates an unexpected parallel and moment of understanding between him and Taylor.
- The interconnectedness of the friend group's struggles: The revelation of Xed and Matt's hidden relationship and their struggles with Matty's move, mirroring Logan and Salem's relationship secrecy and Taylor and Huck's own hidden dynamic, shows how their individual issues are subtly interconnected within the friend group.
Who are the most significant supporting characters?
- Christian Totillo: As Taylor's unwavering best friend and confidante, Christian provides essential emotional support, a sense of belonging, and a shared dream (motocross career), acting as Taylor's anchor and moral compass, even when he disagrees with his actions.
- Salem Vaughn: Salem serves as Taylor's closest female friend, marketing manager, and a key figure in the friend group's dynamics. Her understanding of Taylor's trauma and her own relationship struggles with Logan create a parallel narrative and highlight themes of honesty and acceptance within relationships.
- Logan Davis: Huckslee's best friend, Logan, represents the challenge of maintaining long-term friendships through significant personal change and hidden identities. His initial struggle to accept Huck's relationship with Taylor and his own secret relationship with Salem mirror the main couple's journey with honesty and vulnerability.
Psychological, Emotional, & Relational Analysis
What are some unspoken motivations of the characters?
- Taylor's need for control: Taylor's aggressive behavior, need to dominate interactions, and later, his enjoyment of being controlled during sex, stem from a deep-seated need for control or relinquishing it, likely a coping mechanism developed in response to the unpredictable violence of his father.
- Huckslee's pursuit of external validation: Huckslee's focus on football, academic achievement, and maintaining a "golden boy" image is driven by an unspoken need for external validation, particularly from his father and community, to compensate for the internal turmoil and self-doubt caused by hiding his identity and trauma.
- Maisie's desire for a perfect family image: Maisie's coldness towards Taylor and her focus on appearances (like the wedding photos, the painting) suggest an unspoken motivation to create a seemingly perfect family unit with Aaron, potentially distancing herself from the messy reality of her past with Taylor's father and Taylor himself.
What psychological complexities do the characters exhibit?
- Trauma bonding and cyclical behavior: Taylor and Huckslee exhibit patterns of trauma bonding, where their intense conflict and moments of vulnerability are intertwined. Their repeated cycle of pushing each other away followed by intense connection reflects the complex psychological impact of their shared and individual traumas.
- Anxiety and dissociation: Huckslee's diagnosed anxiety disorder manifests in panic attacks, insomnia, and feelings of drowning or detachment. His tendency to "check out" or become numb is a psychological defense mechanism against overwhelming emotional pain and stress.
- Complex relationship with pain: Both characters have a complicated relationship with physical and emotional pain. Taylor uses physical conflict to mask deeper hurt and later finds pleasure in controlled pain during sex, while Huckslee's physical injuries (broken arm, scar) become intertwined with his emotional wounds and path to healing.
What are the major emotional turning points?
- The first kiss under the bleachers: This seemingly minor event in eighth grade is a pivotal emotional turning point, marking the moment mutual attraction is acknowledged and setting the stage for years of conflict driven by fear and denial.
- Taylor's confession at the cabin: Taylor's vulnerable admission about his father's abuse and the real reason behind his bullying marks a significant emotional shift, breaking down Huckslee's long-held perception of him as simply a cruel bully and opening the door for empathy and understanding.
- Huckslee's decision to come out publicly: Huckslee's declaration of his love for Taylor at the family barbecue, despite the potential backlash, is a major emotional turning point where he chooses authenticity and his relationship over fear and family expectations, signifying a profound act of self-acceptance.
How do relationship dynamics evolve?
- From enemies to lovers: The central dynamic evolves from intense animosity and bullying, fueled by hidden feelings and fear, to a tentative friendship, then a complex, on-again-off-again sexual and emotional connection, and finally, a committed romantic relationship.
- Shifting power dynamics: The power dynamic shifts throughout the story, initially with Taylor holding power through bullying, then moments of vulnerability where power is shared (cabin confession, pool scene), and later, Huckslee asserting control in sexual encounters, reflecting their individual journeys with control and submission.
- Friendships tested and redefined: The friendships within the group (Huck and Logan, Taylor and Christian, Logan and Salem, Matt and Xed) are tested by secrets, misunderstandings, and changing relationships, forcing characters to redefine loyalty, honesty, and support within their bonds.
Interpretation & Debate
Which parts of the story remain ambiguous or open-ended?
- The long-term impact of family relationships: While Huck and Aaron begin to reconcile, and Taylor confronts Maisie, the future of their relationships with their parents remains somewhat open-ended, particularly Maisie's acceptance of Taylor and their relationship.
- The full extent of Taylor's father's abuse: While Taylor reveals his father was violent and abusive, the narrative doesn't detail every instance, leaving some ambiguity about the full psychological toll and specific traumas Taylor endured.
- The future of the friend group dynamics: While the core friendships seem strong by the end, the impact of distance (Huck in Baltimore, Matt in Arizona) and the resolution of specific conflicts (Logan/Salem, Xed/Matt) are left to unfold beyond the final pages.
What are some debatable, controversial scenes or moments in Finding Delaware?
- The pool scene and dubious consent: The scene where Taylor holds Huckslee underwater before kissing him and initiating sexual contact is highly debatable regarding consent, particularly given Huckslee's state of anxiety and disorientation, raising questions about power dynamics and trauma responses.
- Huckslee's actions in the cabin bathroom: Huckslee's decision to force Taylor onto his knees and engage in sexual acts after Taylor's vulnerable confession is controversial, mirroring some of Taylor's past controlling behavior and raising questions about revenge, power, and consent within their complex dynamic.
- Maisie's portrayal and lack of redemption: Maisie's consistently cold and dismissive attitude towards Taylor, even after revelations about his past and his father's death, can be seen as controversial, as she is not given a clear arc of understanding or reconciliation, leaving her character largely unsympathetic.
Finding Delaware Ending Explained: How It Ends & What It Means
- The trip to Delaware: The final scene sees Huckslee surprising Taylor by driving him to the state of Delaware. This literal journey to the symbolic "neutral ground" they created in high school signifies that their relationship is no longer confined to a hidden space but is real and tangible in the world.
- Embracing the present and future: The ending emphasizes that their love is strong enough to overcome past trauma and the impending challenge of a long-distance relationship. By physically going to Delaware, they acknowledge their history but choose to build a future together, grounded in honesty and mutual love.
- Love as a destination: The final lines, where Taylor realizes Delaware is "so much more" than he hoped, and Huckslee states their love is real, suggest that "Finding Delaware" wasn't just about finding a place of peace, but about finding that peace and belonging in each other, making their love the ultimate destination.
Review Summary
Finding Delaware is a polarizing debut novel featuring a toxic enemies-to-lovers romance between stepbrothers Huckslee and Taylor. Readers praise the intense emotional journey, character development, and steamy scenes, while others criticize the excessive length, time jumps, and Taylor's abusive behavior. The book explores themes of trauma, forgiveness, and self-discovery. Many reviewers found it compelling despite its flaws, while some couldn't overlook the characters' actions. Overall, it's a raw, angsty read that elicits strong reactions from its audience.
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