Get the Guy

1. Increase Your Odds: Meet More Men

To meet more men you have to, er, meet more men!

Expand your social circle. Actively seek out opportunities to meet new people, both men and women. Say "yes" to invitations, join clubs or classes that interest you, and practice engaging in conversations with strangers.

Adopt an "ownership mentality." Behave as if you own the venue you're in, greeting people warmly and initiating conversations. This attitude will make you appear more approachable and confident.

Use the "White Handkerchief Approach." Create subtle opportunities for men to approach you:

• Make eye contact and smile
• Position yourself near him
• Wave him over if necessary
• Ask for a small favor

2. Cultivate High-Value Traits: Confidence, Independence, Integrity, Femininity

A woman who knows who she is, strong and independent, understands how essential it is to show that she needs her guy in other ways.

Confidence: Cultivate certainty about your worth and abilities. Don't seek constant reassurance or validation from others.

Independence: Develop a fulfilling life outside of relationships. Pursue your passions, maintain friendships, and have your own goals.

Integrity: Stick to your principles and values. Be consistent in your actions and words.

Femininity: Embrace your feminine energy without compromising your strength. Allow men to feel needed and appreciated in ways that don't diminish your independence.

3. Master the Art of Conversation and Connection

Good conversations never follow a logical progression.

Create intrigue and interest:

• Ask unexpected questions
• Share personal stories
• Express genuine curiosity about the other person

Seek values, not facts: Instead of asking standard interview-style questions, probe deeper to understand a person's motivations, passions, and beliefs.

Generate emotional spikes: Create memorable moments by:

• Injecting playfulness and humor
• Sharing vulnerable moments
• Engaging in activities that create shared experiences

4. Create Attraction Through Visual Chemistry, Challenge, Value, and Connection

Attraction is emotional, not logical.

Visual Chemistry: Focus on perceived beauty rather than objective beauty. Cultivate confidence, charisma, and comfort with your sexuality.

Perceived Challenge: Maintain high standards and don't be too easily won over. Show that your attention and affection must be earned.

Perceived Value: Demonstrate that you have a fulfilling life that a man would want to be part of. Showcase your unique qualities and experiences.

Connection: Build emotional intimacy through shared experiences, deep conversations, and genuine understanding of each other's values and dreams.

5. Design Memorable Dates That Showcase Your Best Self

A date should be a preview of how fun and intriguing life with you will be.

Choose engaging activities: Opt for dates that allow for interaction, shared experiences, and opportunities to showcase different aspects of your personality.

• Examples: art galleries, food festivals, outdoor adventures, local tourist attractions

Create a rhythm: Mix up the pace and atmosphere of the date to keep things interesting. Alternate between high-energy activities and more intimate moments.

Bring your best self: Stay positive, be present, and focus on creating a fun, memorable experience. Avoid complaining or discussing negative past experiences.

6. Navigate the Complexities of Sex and Commitment

Men appreciate physical contact that they have earned.

Understand male psychology: Recognize that men often equate sexual validation with their sense of masculinity and self-worth.

Communicate openly: When declining sex, do so in a way that reaffirms your desire for your partner and provides a clear reason for the delay.

Foster sexual confidence: Embrace your body and sexuality. Be willing to explore and communicate your desires.

Provide variety: Keep the sexual relationship exciting by being open to trying new things and fulfilling fantasies within your comfort zone.

7. Become the Woman of His Dreams While Maintaining Your Identity

Every man is looking for the woman who sees him as different from every other man in the world.

Provide sexual validation: Regularly express desire for your partner and appreciation for his sexual qualities.

Recognize his uniqueness: Identify and appreciate specific traits that set him apart from other men.

Be a loyal teammate: Support his goals and have his back, especially in public.

Allow him to protect and provide: Find ways to make him feel needed and valued in the relationship.

Nurture and support him: Believe in his potential and encourage his dreams.

8. Evaluate Compatibility Through Shared Values and Standards

Fall in love with the man in front of you, not his potential.

Identify core values: Determine what matters most to you in life (e.g., family, career, adventure) and ensure your partner shares similar priorities.

Assess standards: Look for evidence that your partner not only claims to value certain things but actually lives by those values in their daily life.

Observe actions, not words: Pay attention to how a potential partner behaves, rather than relying solely on what they say about themselves.

Look for growth and teamwork: These two values are crucial for navigating challenges and building a lasting relationship.

9. Move Forward After Heartbreak by Reframing the Experience

The pain doesn't come from losing your soul mate, but from the disappointment that this guy wasn't your soul mate.

Reframe the loss: Instead of viewing the breakup as losing "the one," see it as a necessary step toward finding the right person.

Learn from the experience: Reflect on what you've learned about yourself, your needs, and your values through this relationship.

Stay open to new possibilities: Avoid closing yourself off to future relationships out of fear of being hurt again.

Focus on personal growth: Use this time to invest in yourself, pursue your passions, and become an even better version of yourself.

Last updated: January 23, 2025