Good With Money

1. Acknowledge External Pressures on Spending

The very first step to becoming Good With Money is to give yourself a fucking break.

External factors influence spending. Modern society bombards individuals with messages that promote consumption, from advertising and social media to diet culture and impossible standards. These external pressures can significantly impact financial behavior, making it difficult to be "Good With Money."

Diet culture and media. The constant emphasis on appearance and the pursuit of thinness, fueled by diet culture and media portrayals, diverts attention and resources away from financial well-being. Similarly, unrealistic lifestyles depicted in TV shows and movies create false expectations about affordability and financial norms.

Social media and e-commerce. The rise of social media and e-commerce has created a "playground of consumption," where opportunities to spend are ever-present and easily accessible. Buy Now Pay Later (BNPL) services and targeted advertising further exacerbate this issue, making it easier to overspend and accumulate debt.

2. Understand Your Emotional Relationship with Money

Money gets its meaning from the emotional transfer that happens when we interact with it.

Money is emotional. Our brains are not naturally wired for optimal money management. Emotions, shaped by upbringing, experiences, and societal influences, play a significant role in financial decisions. Recognizing these emotional connections is crucial for changing financial behavior.

Financial flashpoints. Major life events, such as family breakdown or financial windfalls, can create lasting "financial flashpoints" that shape our beliefs and behaviors around money. These flashpoints can lead to both positive and negative financial patterns.

Internal creative director. Our "internal creative director" crafts stories about money, influencing how we perceive its value and our worthiness to possess it. These stories can lead to emotional spending, self-sabotage, and other irrational financial behaviors.

3. Rewrite Limiting Financial Beliefs

It’s not so much what you experienced, but how you experienced it.

Beliefs shape financial behavior. Our financial beliefs, formed early in life, significantly impact our financial behavior. These beliefs, rather than the actual financial circumstances of our upbringing, determine our attitudes towards saving, spending, and managing money.

Challenge negative self-talk. Many individuals harbor negative self-talk about their financial abilities, labeling themselves as "bad with money" or "irresponsible." Challenging these labels and cultivating a more positive self-image is essential for building financial confidence.

Expand your financial window. Expose yourself to different financial realities and success stories to broaden your perspective and challenge limiting beliefs. This can involve reading books, listening to podcasts, or connecting with individuals who have achieved financial well-being.

4. Reclaim Intentional Spending

Being Good With Money is about taking control and getting in the driver’s seat of not just your money, but your life.

Shift from passive to active. Reclaiming financial decisions involves shifting from passive, reactive spending to active, intentional money management. This requires awareness of spending triggers, conscious decision-making, and a commitment to aligning spending with values.

The activation, decision, and reflection zones. Understand the three zones of spending: the activation zone (where the desire to spend arises), the decision zone (where the purchase is made), and the reflection zone (where the consequences are evaluated). By becoming aware of these zones, individuals can interrupt negative spending patterns.

Implement strategies for intentionality. Slow down decision-making by installing barriers to impulsive spending, such as waiting periods or removing saved payment information. Practice delayed gratification and focus on the long-term benefits of saving and mindful spending.

5. Build a Personalized Financial Ecosystem

Managing money is spreading your money out across different areas of your life.

Create a financial ecosystem. A financial ecosystem is a personalized system for managing money that aligns with individual values, goals, and lifestyle. This system involves prioritizing essential expenses, allocating funds to savings and investments, and creating spending categories that reflect personal priorities.

Streamline expenses. Simplify bill payments by consolidating expenses into a single, predictable amount. This involves setting up automatic payments and creating sinking funds for irregular expenses, such as car registration or insurance premiums.

Pay yourself first. Prioritize saving by allocating a portion of each paycheck to savings goals before allocating funds to discretionary spending. This ensures that savings goals are consistently met.

6. Prioritize Values-Based Financial Decisions

You don’t need to stop buying things you want; you need to stop buying things you don’t want.

Align spending with values. Values-based spending involves making conscious decisions to spend money on things that align with personal values and priorities. This requires identifying core values and evaluating potential purchases against those values.

ROI-based thinking. Evaluate potential purchases based on their return on investment (ROI), considering both financial and lifestyle benefits. This involves asking questions such as:

• How does this add value to my life?
• What else could I be spending this money on?
• Am I happy to make that trade-off?

The Ultimate Mission. Embark on a quest to find the "ultimate" version of desired items, rather than settling for cheaper, less satisfying alternatives. This encourages thoughtful consideration and reduces the likelihood of impulse purchases.

7. Cultivate a Positive Money Mindset

If you don’t know where you are going, all paths will get you there.

Connect emotionally to financial goals. Develop a strong emotional connection to financial goals by visualizing the future and understanding the impact that money can have on achieving those goals. This can involve creating a vision board or writing a letter to your future self.

Challenge negative self-talk. Identify and challenge negative self-talk about money, replacing it with more positive and empowering affirmations. This can involve reframing negative thoughts and focusing on strengths and abilities.

Practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding when making financial mistakes. Avoid self-criticism and focus on learning from errors and moving forward.

8. Prepare for a Financially Empowered Future

The aim of Good With Money is to give you the reddest, hottest crack at making the most of this one wonderful life that you get to lead.

Embrace ongoing learning. Getting "Good With Money" is an ongoing journey, not a destination. Commit to continuous learning and self-improvement by reading books, attending workshops, and seeking advice from financial professionals.

Adapt to life changes. Be prepared to adjust your financial ecosystem as life circumstances change. This may involve re-evaluating your values, setting new goals, and making adjustments to your spending and saving habits.

Redefine the role of money. Shift your perspective on money from a source of stress and anxiety to a tool for creating a fulfilling and meaningful life. Use money to support your passions, build strong relationships, and contribute to causes you care about.

Last updated: March 16, 2025