Got Your Attention?

1. Intrigue Starts with a Captivating Intro

It’s not overly dramatic to say your destiny hangs on the impression you make.

First impressions matter. In a world of short attention spans, the opening of any communication is crucial. Instead of starting with explanations, use "Did You Know?" questions to spark curiosity, presenting surprising facts or statistics that highlight the scope of a problem or the urgency of an issue. For example, instead of saying "Our product is great," try "Did you know that 80% of people struggle with this problem?"

Show, don't just tell. Use vivid imagery and props to demonstrate the problem you're solving. Act out a scenario that highlights the pain points your audience experiences. For instance, if you're selling a travel app, show someone struggling with a crumpled map and then demonstrate how your app solves that problem. This approach makes the issue relatable and creates a desire for your solution.

Psych yourself up. Approach communication like an athlete preparing for a game. Practice your opening, familiarize yourself with the venue, and adopt a confident posture. This preparation will help you project an "I'm ready for anything" attitude that commands attention and respect.

2. Newness is Key to Sustained Attention

The world always seems brighter when you just made something that wasn’t there before.

Disrupt the norm. To capture attention, introduce something new and original. Use the Seven Ps of Disruption (Purpose, Person, Problem, Premise, Product, Promise, POP) to brainstorm innovative approaches and offerings. For example, instead of offering a standard training program, create a "Flaw and Order" program that uses a TV show format to make learning more engaging.

Stay current. Use recent research, quotes from today's thought leaders, and connect your message to current events. This shows your audience that you're up-to-date and relevant. For example, if you're talking about leadership, use a recent quote from a business leader instead of an old one from a historical figure.

Reawaken your eyes. Pay attention to the miracles in your midst and see the world with fresh eyes. Take note of intriguing observations and jot them down. This practice will help you find new perspectives and insights that can make your communication more compelling.

3. Time Efficiency Builds Trust

If you don’t have anything to do, don’t do it here.

Respect people's time. In a world of constant distractions, being time-efficient is crucial. Start by asking for a specific amount of time and then pleasantly surprise people by taking less time than expected. For example, say, "I know we have an hour scheduled, but I can explain my idea in ten minutes."

Keep it concise. Apply numerical limits to your communications, like Twitter's 140 characters. Use five-sentence emails and limit meeting reports to three minutes. This forces you to focus on what's essential and leave out the parts people skip.

Swaddle your communication. Put a "ThunderShirt" on your interactions by setting clear time and space boundaries. This helps you stay focused and prevents your message from sprawling. For example, set a 90-minute limit for meetings and stick to it.

4. Repeatable Phrases Amplify Your Message

If you see something, say something.

Craft a phrase-that-pays. Create a memorable sound-bite that succinctly sums up your message and resonates with your audience. This phrase should be easy to repeat, distill the action you want people to take, and work as a title that can be merchandized. For example, "Make Good Art" is a phrase that has resonated with many.

Use rhythm and rhyme. Put your words into a beat so they're easy to repeat. Use alliteration (words that start with the same sound) and rhyme to make your message more memorable. For example, "Click It or Ticket" is a memorable phrase that has saved lives.

Pause and punch. Deliver your phrase-that-pays with distinctive inflection. Pause before and after you say it to give people time to absorb it. This will help your message stick in their minds. For example, say, "The most important thing I've learned is... [pause]... we will prevail."

5. Interaction Trumps Information

No one of us is as smart as all of us.

Turn monologues into dialogues. Replace elevator speeches with elevator conversations. Instead of telling people what you do, ask them how they might have experienced the results of what you do. For example, instead of saying "I'm a software engineer," ask "Have you ever bought anything online?"

Create mutually rewarding conversations. Ask open-ended questions, listen intently, and turn back the conversation with "you" questions. This shows people that you're genuinely interested in them. For example, instead of saying "I know Judy," ask "What are her goals for the Chamber this year?"

Facilitate interactive meetings. Share control by rotating hosts and giving attendees opportunities to lead. Start meetings with introductions and create "Table Topic Meals" to encourage interaction. This will make your meetings more engaging and productive.

6. Give Attention to Gain Connection

We can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than we can in two years by trying to get people interested in us.

Lead with empathy. Instead of focusing on what you want to say, focus on what your audience wants to hear. Ask them about their needs, challenges, and goals. This will help you customize your message and make it more relevant. For example, ask "What are you working on that you're excited about?"

Listen completely. Give people your undivided attention. Look at them, lean in, and lift your eyebrows. Suspend judgment, take notes, and empathize. This will make people feel valued and heard. For example, ask yourself "How would I feel?" to better understand their perspective.

Use "and" instead of "but." Replace the word "but" with "and" to acknowledge what people are saying instead of dismissing it. For example, say "I hear what you're saying, and..." instead of "I hear what you're saying, but..."

7. Usefulness Drives Action

A real decision is demonstrated by the fact you’ve taken a new action. If you haven’t taken action, you haven’t truly made a decision.

Establish real-world relevance. Make your message pertinent by clarifying how it relates to your audience and the situation. Use statistics, examples, and personal anecdotes to show how your ideas can be applied in practice. For example, instead of saying "It's important to protect your computers," say "Last Monday, a department store was hacked, and here's what we did to fix it."

Offer options, not orders. Instead of telling people what to do, provide a variety of options and let them choose what works best for them. This gives them a sense of control and makes them more likely to take action. For example, instead of saying "You need to change," say "You might want to consider these options."

Plant action seeds. End your communications with specific action questions that prompt people to clarify exactly when, where, and how they're going to apply what they've learned. For example, ask "What is one thing you'll do differently when you get back to the office tomorrow?"

8. Examples Make Ideas Real

In influencing others, example is not the main thing; it’s the only thing.

Use the Empathy Telescope. Instead of talking about abstract concepts, share a real-life example of one person who experienced what you're talking about. This will make your message more relatable and emotionally resonant. For example, instead of talking about the importance of education, share the story of Malala Yousafzai.

Make it concrete. Ground your ideas in specific details. Share when and where something happened, what was said, and what the results were. This will make your message more credible and impactful. For example, instead of saying "Make customers feel welcome," say "Use the ten-ten rule when greeting customers."

Use "Dog on a Tanker" examples. Share a story of one person who overcame a challenge related to your topic. This will help people empathize with your message and make it more memorable. For example, share the story of JJ and the dolphins to illustrate the power of inclusion.

9. Put People in the Scene for Empathy

The soul never thinks without a mental picture.

Use sensory details. Describe what a situation looked like, smelled like, sounded like, and felt like. This will help your audience feel like they're right there with you. For example, describe the pool scene with the family to make your point about new defaults.

Create conflict. Share the challenge or obstacle your lead character faced. This will make your example more engaging and relatable. For example, share the story of the oil tanker crew and their dog to highlight the power of empathy.

Re-experience it. Don't just tell your example; re-experience it in your mind so it comes alive. This will help you convey the emotions and insights you want your audience to feel. For example, re-enact the conversation with the Taliban gunman to show your courage.

Use narrative. Include back-and-forth dialogue to make your example more engaging. This will help your audience feel like they're part of the conversation. For example, share the dialogue between the couple at the pool to show how they adopted a new default.

Share the epiphany. End your example with a lesson learned, a happy ending, or a moral of the story. This will help your audience understand the point you're trying to make. For example, share the lesson learned from the pool story about the power of new defaults.

10. Expand Influence by Serving Others

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.

Share your lessons learned. Don't keep your insights to yourself. Share your expertise, experience, and epiphanies with others. This will help you expand your influence and make a positive difference. For example, share your story of how you overcame a challenge to inspire others.

Be authentic. Don't try to be someone you're not. Be genuine, vulnerable, and relatable. This will help you connect with people on a deeper level. For example, be like Brené Brown and share your personal struggles to connect with your audience.

Focus on service. Instead of focusing on what you can get, focus on what you can give. This will help you create mutually rewarding connections and expand your influence for good. For example, be like Andrew and create a nonprofit to help others.

Last updated: January 24, 2025