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Growing Together

Growing Together

Taking Mentoring Beyond Small Talk and Prayer Requests
by Melissa B. Kruger 2020 192 pages
4.27
1k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Mentoring: A Crucial Relationship for Spiritual Growth

Mentoring is a discipleship relationship that focuses on equipping younger believers for the work of ministry so that they grow in maturity and unity in the faith with the ultimate goal of glorifying God.

Spiritual mentoring is a vital aspect of Christian growth, providing guidance, support, and accountability. It involves an older, more mature believer investing in the life of a younger believer, sharing wisdom, experiences, and biblical truths.

Key aspects of mentoring:

  • Equipping for ministry
  • Encouraging spiritual maturity
  • Fostering unity in faith
  • Glorifying God through personal growth

Mentoring relationships can take various forms, from formal structured meetings to informal conversations. The goal is always to help the mentee grow in their faith, develop spiritual disciplines, and navigate life's challenges with biblical wisdom.

2. Setting Expectations and Sharing Your Story in Mentorship

Neither she nor I would have called her that at the time. Our relationship just happened as she chose to invest in the lives of students at the public high school where she taught.

Clear communication is essential for a successful mentoring relationship. Both mentor and mentee should discuss their expectations, goals, and boundaries at the outset.

Key elements to establish:

  • Frequency and duration of meetings
  • Topics to cover
  • Accountability measures
  • Confidentiality expectations

Sharing personal stories is a powerful way to build trust and connection in the mentoring relationship. Both mentor and mentee should be willing to open up about their spiritual journeys, including struggles, victories, and lessons learned along the way.

3. The Power of God's Word in Spiritual Development

God's word is a lot like that truck. Many times, we're fearful of God's word and feel like it's pursuing us, telling us all the ways we fail to measure up. While the Bible does show us our sin, it's not to make us feel hopeless—it's to lead us to the good news of the gospel!

Bible engagement is crucial for spiritual growth. Regular reading, studying, and meditating on Scripture provides guidance, encouragement, and transformation.

Benefits of engaging with God's Word:

  • Wisdom for daily decisions
  • Strength to resist temptation
  • Comfort in difficult times
  • Deeper understanding of God's character

Practical ways to engage with Scripture:

  • Daily Bible reading plans
  • In-depth Bible studies
  • Scripture memorization
  • Journaling reflections on biblical passages

4. The Church: Our Spiritual Home and Community

The church isn't perfect. There are wolves among us, seeking to destroy the flock (Acts 20:29). It's full of saints struggling with sin. Yet it's God's home for his people while they journey together.

The local church plays a vital role in the spiritual growth of believers. It provides a community of faith where we can worship, learn, serve, and grow together.

Key aspects of church involvement:

  • Regular attendance and participation
  • Engaging in corporate worship
  • Serving in various ministries
  • Building relationships with other believers

The church offers accountability, support, and opportunities for service that are essential for spiritual maturity. While no church is perfect, it remains God's primary means for nurturing and equipping His people.

5. Evangelism: Sharing the Good News with Others

Evangelism is God's warning system for the coming storm. God sees the injustice, the devastation, the abuse, and the suffering of our world, and he is coming to repay every evil that has ever occurred.

Sharing our faith is both a privilege and a responsibility for every believer. Evangelism involves communicating the good news of Jesus Christ to those who don't know Him.

Practical approaches to evangelism:

  • Building relationships with non-believers
  • Sharing personal testimonies
  • Inviting others to church or Christian events
  • Engaging in spiritual conversations

Key elements of the gospel message:

  • God's love for humanity
  • The reality of sin and its consequences
  • Jesus' sacrificial death and resurrection
  • The need for personal faith and repentance

6. Prayer: Cultivating a Deeper Connection with God

Prayer acts as a pause to the demands of our day. By sitting before the Lord and prayerfully entrusting our schedules to him, we may find we clearly discern the places we need to say no, as well as the places we can sacrificially say yes, trusting God's power to be at work in us and through us.

Consistent prayer is essential for developing a deep, personal relationship with God. It allows us to communicate with our Creator, express our needs and concerns, and align our hearts with His will.

Types of prayer:

  • Adoration: Praising God for who He is
  • Confession: Acknowledging and repenting of sin
  • Thanksgiving: Expressing gratitude for God's blessings
  • Supplication: Bringing requests before God

Practical tips for developing a consistent prayer life:

  • Set aside dedicated time for prayer each day
  • Use a prayer journal to track requests and answers
  • Pray Scripture back to God
  • Incorporate prayer into daily activities (e.g., while driving or exercising)

7. Navigating Family and Friendships with Biblical Wisdom

As God's people, we walk in forgiveness with one another because we've been so greatly forgiven. We extend to others the mercy we've received.

Biblical principles should guide our relationships with family and friends. These relationships provide opportunities to display Christ-like love, forgiveness, and selflessness.

Key biblical virtues for relationships:

  • Love
  • Forgiveness
  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • Humility

Practical applications:

  • Prioritize quality time with family members
  • Practice active listening and empathy
  • Seek reconciliation when conflicts arise
  • Serve and support one another in tangible ways

Remember that our relationships are a reflection of our relationship with God. As we grow in our faith, it should positively impact how we interact with those closest to us.

8. Overcoming Temptations in a Fallen World

We may think we know how we work best, but we don't. Jesus gives us his word and shows us how to live. The Spirit guides us in all these things so that we can be both hearers and doers of the word.

Resisting temptation is an ongoing battle for every believer. Understanding our spiritual enemies and employing biblical strategies are crucial for victory.

Our spiritual enemies:

  • The world: Secular values and pressures
  • The flesh: Our sinful nature
  • The devil: Satan and his demonic forces

Biblical strategies for overcoming temptation:

  • Know and memorize Scripture
  • Pray for strength and guidance
  • Cultivate accountability relationships
  • Identify and avoid triggers
  • Replace sinful habits with godly pursuits

Remember that God promises to provide a way of escape in every temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13). Lean on His strength and the support of fellow believers in your fight against sin.

9. Finding Joy and Contentment in All Seasons of Life

Biblical contentment is an inward trust in God's sovereignty and goodness that produces the fruit of joy and peace and thanksgiving in the life of a believer, regardless of outward circumstances.

True contentment is rooted in our relationship with God, not in our circumstances. It's a learned attitude that comes from trusting in God's sovereignty and goodness.

Keys to cultivating contentment:

  • Focus on God's character and promises
  • Practice gratitude daily
  • Embrace present circumstances as opportunities for growth
  • Seek God's purpose in every situation

Contentment doesn't mean absence of desire or lack of ambition. Rather, it's a deep-seated peace and joy that comes from knowing God is in control and working all things for our good and His glory.

10. Serving Others: Using Your Gifts for God's Kingdom

One way we actively put our trust in God and keep our lives free from the love of money is by giving it away.

Serving others is a tangible way to demonstrate God's love and fulfill our purpose as believers. Every Christian has been gifted by God to contribute to the body of Christ and impact the world around them.

Areas of stewardship in service:

  • Time: Prioritizing opportunities to serve
  • Talents: Using our skills and abilities for God's glory
  • Treasure: Giving generously of our financial resources

Practical ways to serve:

  • Volunteer in church ministries
  • Support missionaries and charitable organizations
  • Mentor younger believers
  • Show hospitality to neighbors and newcomers

Remember that service is not about earning God's favor but responding to His grace with gratitude and love.

11. Developing Spiritual Discernment in a Complex World

Discernment is the skill of understanding and applying God's Word with the purpose of separating truth from error and right from wrong.

Spiritual discernment is crucial for navigating the complexities of life and making wise decisions. It involves the ability to distinguish between truth and error, right and wrong, based on God's Word and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Key aspects of developing discernment:

  • Regular study and meditation on Scripture
  • Prayer for wisdom and understanding
  • Learning from mature believers
  • Cultivating a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit's leading

Practical applications of discernment:

  • Evaluating teaching and doctrine
  • Making ethical decisions
  • Choosing entertainment and media consumption
  • Navigating relationships and career choices

As we grow in discernment, we become better equipped to honor God in every area of life and to help others do the same.

Last updated:

FAQ

What's "Growing Together: Taking Mentoring Beyond Small Talk and Prayer Requests" about?

  • Mentoring Focus: The book by Melissa B. Kruger is a guide for women looking to engage in meaningful mentoring relationships that go beyond superficial interactions.
  • Structure and Content: It provides a structured approach with eleven chapters covering various aspects of spiritual growth, including Bible study, prayer, and service.
  • Practical Tools: The book offers practical tools and questions to facilitate discussions between mentors and mentees, aiming to foster spiritual growth and deeper connections.
  • Biblical Foundation: It emphasizes a biblically grounded approach to mentoring, encouraging women to grow in their faith and apply biblical truths to their lives.

Why should I read "Growing Together" by Melissa B. Kruger?

  • Guidance for Mentoring: If you're interested in mentoring or being mentored, this book provides clear guidance on how to start and maintain a fruitful mentoring relationship.
  • Spiritual Growth: It offers insights into various aspects of Christian life, such as prayer, Bible study, and service, helping readers grow spiritually.
  • Practical Advice: The book is filled with practical advice and questions that can be used in mentoring sessions, making it a useful tool for both mentors and mentees.
  • Community Building: It encourages building a supportive community among women, fostering relationships that are rooted in faith and mutual growth.

What are the key takeaways of "Growing Together"?

  • Mentoring is Essential: Mentoring is crucial for spiritual growth and should be approached with intentionality and biblical grounding.
  • Balanced Spiritual Growth: The book emphasizes the importance of balanced spiritual growth, covering topics like Bible reading, prayer, and community involvement.
  • Practical Application: It provides practical tools and questions to help mentors and mentees apply biblical truths to their lives.
  • Community and Support: Building a community of support among women is vital for fostering spiritual growth and encouraging one another in faith.

How does Melissa B. Kruger define mentoring in "Growing Together"?

  • Discipleship Relationship: Mentoring is described as a discipleship relationship focused on equipping younger believers for ministry and spiritual maturity.
  • Biblical Foundation: It is grounded in biblical principles, aiming to glorify God through the growth and unity of faith among believers.
  • Practical Guidance: The book offers practical guidance on how to start and maintain a mentoring relationship, including setting expectations and sharing personal stories.
  • Mutual Growth: Mentoring is seen as a two-way street where both the mentor and mentee grow in their faith and understanding of God's word.

What are the best quotes from "Growing Together" and what do they mean?

  • "Mentoring helps give shape to the commands of Scripture." This quote emphasizes that mentoring provides a practical way to live out biblical teachings.
  • "The ultimate goal of this book is for two women to grow together as they walk together." It highlights the book's focus on mutual growth and support in faith.
  • "We are forgetful creatures, trying to survive on the crumbs of the world, when he’s offered us a feast." This quote underscores the importance of seeking spiritual nourishment from God rather than worldly distractions.
  • "Mentoring is a privilege. It is needed. It is a blessing." It conveys the significance and positive impact of mentoring relationships in the Christian life.

How does "Growing Together" suggest setting expectations in a mentoring relationship?

  • Clear Communication: The book stresses the importance of clear communication between mentors and mentees to avoid misunderstandings and set realistic expectations.
  • Frequency and Duration: It suggests setting a specific schedule for meetings, whether weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly, and determining the duration of the mentoring relationship.
  • Roles and Responsibilities: Both parties should discuss and agree on their roles and responsibilities, ensuring that both the mentor and mentee are committed to the process.
  • Openness and Honesty: Encourages openness and honesty in sharing personal stories and struggles, which helps build trust and deepen the mentoring relationship.

What practical tools does "Growing Together" offer for mentoring?

  • Discussion Questions: Each chapter ends with questions designed to facilitate meaningful discussions between mentors and mentees.
  • Activities and Exercises: The book includes activities to help both parties apply what they've learned and grow in their faith.
  • Scripture References: It provides relevant scripture references to guide discussions and encourage biblical grounding in the mentoring process.
  • Appendices: The book includes recommended reading lists and additional resources for further study and growth.

How does "Growing Together" address the topic of prayer?

  • Importance of Prayer: The book emphasizes prayer as a vital component of spiritual growth and a way to build a relationship with God.
  • Practical Advice: It offers practical advice on how to develop a habit of prayer, including setting aside specific times and using prayer journals.
  • Overcoming Obstacles: The book discusses common obstacles to prayer, such as busyness and distraction, and provides strategies to overcome them.
  • Prayer in Mentoring: Encourages mentors and mentees to pray for and with each other, strengthening their relationship and spiritual journey.

What does "Growing Together" say about the role of the church in mentoring?

  • Community and Support: The church is seen as a vital community for support and growth, providing a space for mentoring relationships to flourish.
  • Teaching and Accountability: It emphasizes the church's role in teaching biblical truths and holding members accountable in their spiritual walk.
  • Service and Involvement: Encourages involvement in church activities and service as a way to grow in faith and build relationships with other believers.
  • Healing and Restoration: The church is portrayed as a place for healing and restoration, where individuals can find support and encouragement in their struggles.

How does "Growing Together" suggest handling temptations?

  • Understanding Temptations: The book identifies the world, the flesh, and the devil as primary sources of temptation and provides strategies to combat them.
  • Spiritual Armor: It encourages putting on the full armor of God, as described in Ephesians 6, to stand firm against temptations.
  • Scripture and Prayer: Emphasizes the importance of using scripture and prayer as tools to resist temptation and seek God's strength.
  • Community Support: Highlights the role of community and accountability in overcoming temptations and growing in holiness.

What does "Growing Together" teach about contentment?

  • Biblical Contentment: Defines contentment as an inward trust in God's sovereignty and goodness, independent of external circumstances.
  • Learning Contentment: Emphasizes that contentment is learned over time through reliance on Christ and understanding God's character.
  • Misconceptions: Addresses common misconceptions about contentment, such as equating it with a carefree existence or absence of desire.
  • Practical Steps: Offers practical steps to cultivate contentment, including focusing on God's promises and practicing gratitude.

How does "Growing Together" encourage discernment in decision-making?

  • Definition of Discernment: Describes discernment as the skill of understanding and applying God's word to distinguish truth from error.
  • Role of God's Word: Emphasizes the importance of being grounded in scripture to develop discernment and make wise choices.
  • Identifying False Teaching: Provides guidance on recognizing false teachers and teachings within the church.
  • Seeking Wisdom: Encourages seeking wisdom from older believers and praying for discernment in all areas of life.

Review Summary

4.27 out of 5
Average of 1k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Growing Together receives mostly positive reviews, with an average rating of 4.27/5. Readers appreciate its guidance on mentoring relationships and exploring Christian topics. Some find it helpful for discipleship and group discussions. However, a few reviewers feel the book's content doesn't fully align with expectations set by the title, focusing more on general Christian living than specific mentoring techniques. Many praise the thoughtful questions and practical advice, while some wish for more depth on mentoring itself.

Your rating:

About the Author

Melissa Kruger is a Christian author and speaker based in Charlotte, North Carolina. She teaches women at Uptown Church and conferences nationwide. Kruger contributes regularly to the Gospel Coalition and Christianity.com. Her published works include The Envy of Eve and Growing Together. As a wife to Mike, president of Reformed Theological Seminary–Charlotte, and mother of three children, Kruger balances her writing and speaking career with family life. Her teaching focuses on practical applications of Christian principles, particularly in the areas of women's ministry and mentoring relationships.

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