Happy and Strong

1. Dreams Require Tenacity and a Clear Vision

This is the story of a gritty, tough-as-nails little girl from a trailer in Montana who envisioned her ideal world and conquered it.

Overcoming humble beginnings. The author emphasizes that success is attainable regardless of one's background. Her own story, from a childhood marked by poverty and instability to becoming a multi-millionaire entrepreneur, serves as a testament to the power of vision and determination.

The power of belief. The book stresses the importance of believing in oneself and one's ability to achieve their goals. This belief acts as a foundation for the hard work and sacrifices required to turn dreams into reality. Limiting beliefs from upbringing must be flushed out.

Vision as a compass. A clear vision acts as a guiding force, providing direction and motivation during challenging times. It helps to stay focused on the desired outcome and make decisions that align with the overall goal. Without a clear vision, it's easy to get lost or give up when faced with obstacles.

2. Desire Must Be Stronger Than Just "Interest"

When your desires are strong enough, you will appear to possess superhuman powers to achieve.

Turning goals into musts. The author stresses that achieving success requires more than just wanting something; it demands a burning desire that fuels action and overcomes obstacles. This intense desire transforms goals from mere possibilities into non-negotiable necessities.

The power of conviction. A strong desire is contagious, inspiring others to believe in your vision and support your efforts. This conviction stems from a deep-seated belief in what you're doing and a willingness to do whatever it takes to succeed.

Sacrifice and commitment. Achieving significant goals often requires making sacrifices and prioritizing efforts. This may involve cutting out time-wasting activities, delaying gratification, and pushing through discomfort to stay focused on the ultimate prize.

3. Clarity is Key: Define Your "Whys"

I can teach anyone how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anyone who can tell me what they want.

Knowing what you don't want. The author's journey began with a clear understanding of what she didn't want in life: poverty, financial stress, and a lack of control over her time. This negative clarity served as a starting point for defining her aspirations.

The "Spa Life" vision. The author's vision of "The Spa Life," representing financial freedom, control over her time, and the ability to help others, provided a tangible goal to strive for. This vision was not just about material possessions but also about the lifestyle and impact she desired.

Emotionalizing goals. The author emphasizes the importance of connecting with the emotional reasons behind your goals. These "whys" provide a deeper level of motivation and resilience, helping you to overcome obstacles and stay committed to your vision.

4. Growth Requires Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone

Failure is success in progress.

Progression as a source of happiness. The author emphasizes that continuous growth and development are essential for long-term happiness. Stagnation leads to boredom, dissatisfaction, and a feeling of being stuck.

The four Fs: Faith, Family, Fitness, and Finance. The author uses these four categories to create goals and action items. This framework ensures a balanced approach to personal development, preventing overemphasis on one area at the expense of others.

Self-discipline and habits. The author stresses that self-discipline is not an innate trait but a skill that can be developed through consistent effort. By identifying what needs to be done, recognizing current behavior, and narrowing the gap between the two, individuals can cultivate self-discipline and achieve their goals.

5. Choices Define Your Destiny

I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday.

The power of small decisions. The author illustrates how seemingly insignificant choices can have a profound impact on the trajectory of one's life. These choices, accumulated over time, create a widening gap between different paths.

Associations matter. The people we surround ourselves with influence our behavior and mindset. Choosing positive, supportive associations is crucial for personal growth and achieving goals.

Learning from mistakes. The author acknowledges that everyone makes mistakes, but the key is to learn from them and avoid repeating them. This requires self-reflection, honesty, and a willingness to change course when necessary.

6. Adversity is a Catalyst for Growth

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

Embracing challenges. The author emphasizes that adversity is an inevitable part of life and a necessary ingredient for personal growth. Challenges test our resilience, force us to develop new skills, and ultimately make us stronger.

Finding the seed of benefit. The author encourages readers to look for the hidden opportunities and lessons within every adversity. This mindset shift transforms challenges from obstacles into stepping stones.

Tenacity and perseverance. The author stresses the importance of maintaining a strong will and refusing to give up in the face of setbacks. This tenacity is what separates those who achieve their goals from those who fall by the wayside.

7. Perfectionism is a Trap; Progress is the Goal

Good enough is good enough. Perfect will make you a big fat mess every time.

The dangers of perfectionism. The author warns against the trap of perfectionism, which can lead to procrastination, stress, and a fear of failure. Striving for progress, not perfection, is the key to achieving goals and maintaining happiness.

Letting go of control. The author encourages readers to delegate tasks, embrace imperfection, and focus on the big picture rather than getting bogged down in details. This requires trusting others and accepting that things may not always be done exactly as you would do them.

Focus on the essential. The author advises readers to identify their core priorities and focus their energy on those areas. This involves cutting out non-essential activities and saying no to commitments that don't align with their goals.

8. Hard Work is Essential, But It Must Be Balanced

I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.

The myth of the four-hour workweek. The author dispels the notion that success can be achieved without hard work. While efficiency and delegation are important, there is no substitute for putting in the necessary effort to build a solid foundation.

Passion and purpose. The author emphasizes the importance of finding work that you love, as this makes the hard work more enjoyable and sustainable. When your work aligns with your values and passions, it becomes a source of energy and fulfillment.

The power of will. The author stresses that success is largely determined by willpower and determination. This involves making a conscious decision to persevere through challenges and refusing to give up on your goals.

9. Leadership is About Service and Empowerment

Leadership is not about titles, positions, or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another.

Servant leadership. The author emphasizes that true leadership is about serving others and empowering them to reach their full potential. This involves putting the needs of your team before your own and creating a culture of support and growth.

Building trust and relationships. The author stresses the importance of building strong relationships with your team members, based on trust, respect, and genuine care. This requires investing time in getting to know them, understanding their goals, and supporting their development.

Creating a positive culture. The author advises readers to foster a positive and supportive work environment, where team members feel valued, appreciated, and empowered to contribute their best work. This involves setting clear expectations, providing regular feedback, and celebrating successes.

10. Prioritize Faith, Family, Fitness, and Finance

If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.

A holistic approach to success. The author emphasizes that true success encompasses all aspects of life, not just financial achievement. This requires prioritizing faith, family, fitness, and finance, and striving for balance in each area.

The importance of relationships. The author stresses that meaningful relationships are essential for happiness and fulfillment. This includes nurturing your marriage, spending quality time with your children, and maintaining strong connections with friends and family.

Self-care as a necessity. The author emphasizes that taking care of your physical and mental health is not a luxury but a necessity for long-term success. This involves getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and managing stress.

11. Create Memories, Not Just Accomplishments

It’s realizing that a great dream is not as good as a great memory. The dream can be had by anyone. The memory must be made.

Being present in the moment. The author encourages readers to be fully present and engaged in their experiences, rather than constantly rushing to the next task. This involves putting down distractions, focusing on the people around you, and savoring the moment.

The power of traditions. The author emphasizes the importance of creating family traditions that foster connection, create lasting memories, and provide a sense of belonging. These traditions can be simple or elaborate, but they should be meaningful and enjoyable for all involved.

Balancing work and play. The author advises readers to find ways to incorporate fun and spontaneity into their lives, even amidst busy schedules. This might involve taking a day off to do something you love, planning a surprise outing with your family, or simply making time for laughter and play.

12. Build a Foundation of Integrity

It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only one bad one to lose it.

Long-term perspective. The author emphasizes that building a successful and fulfilling life requires a long-term perspective. This involves making decisions that are aligned with your values and that will stand the test of time.

Ethical decision-making. The author stresses the importance of always doing what is right, even when it's difficult or unpopular. This involves being honest, fair, and respectful in all your dealings, and refusing to compromise your values for short-term gain.

Protecting your reputation. The author warns against the dangers of cutting corners or engaging in unethical behavior, as this can quickly damage your reputation and undermine your long-term success. Building a strong reputation takes time and effort, but it is an invaluable asset.

Last updated: April 8, 2025