How to Make Great Decisions

1. Vocation is about self-donation, not self-fulfillment

The remedy for expressive individualism is vocation. The remedy for expressive individualism is the idea that my life is not just my life.

Reorienting perspective: Vocation involves looking beyond oneself and focusing on serving others. It's not about maximizing personal happiness or self-expression, but rather about answering God's call to participate in His life and work.

Practical application: When discerning your vocation, ask yourself:

• What needs do I see around me?
• How can I use my gifts to serve those needs?
• Where is God calling me to look beyond myself?

This approach shifts the focus from "What will make me happy?" to "How can I best serve others and fulfill God's plan for my life?"

2. Trust that God loves and knows you better than yourself

God loves you better than you love yourself. Every one of us knows that. We've at least heard it. Whether we believe it or not is another question, but God loves you better than you love yourself.

Foundation of trust: Recognizing that God loves you more than you love yourself and knows you better than you know yourself is crucial for discernment. This understanding allows you to trust that God's plan for you aligns with what will truly fulfill you and make you happy.

Implications:

• God's will for you is not arbitrary or cruel
• What God knows you're made for is what He wants for you
• You can approach discernment with confidence, knowing that God has your best interests at heart

Cultivating this trust enables you to surrender your own limited perspective and embrace God's greater wisdom and love in guiding your life.

3. Three levels of vocation: universal call to holiness, primary relationship, and daily tasks

There are a lot of tragedies in life. But the only real tragedy, the only truly devastating one, the only thing you cannot recover from, is to get to the end of your life and not be a saint.

Hierarchical understanding: Recognizing the three levels of vocation helps prioritize and navigate life decisions:

1. Universal call to holiness: The unchanging, primary vocation for all people to become saints.
2. Primary relationship: The state of life (e.g., marriage, priesthood, religious life) through which you're called to grow in holiness.
3. Daily tasks: The moment-by-moment choices and responsibilities that allow you to say "yes" to God regularly.

By focusing on these levels in order, you can ensure that your decisions align with your ultimate purpose while navigating the practical aspects of daily life.

4. Ask three daily questions to discern God's will

If you make it a habit to ask these three questions, I can absolutely guarantee you will never, ever, ever miss your vocation.

Daily discernment practice: Regularly ask yourself these three questions to stay connected with God's will:

1. Am I in a state of grace?
2. Am I performing my daily duties?
3. Did I pray today?

Benefits:

• Maintains open communication with God
• Builds habit of saying "yes" to God in small ways
• Keeps you aligned with your primary vocation of holiness

By consistently addressing these questions, you create a foundation for hearing and responding to God's call in both small and significant moments of your life.

5. Make decisions by evaluating four aspects of opportunities

Whenever you have to make a decision, it's similar to facing a door.

Four-step decision process: When faced with a choice, evaluate it using these criteria:

1. Is it good? (Morally acceptable)
2. Is it open? (Actually available to you)
3. Is it wise? (Aligns with your known path and God's will)
4. Do you want it? (Involves your free will and desire)

This framework helps balance objective factors with personal discernment, ensuring that decisions align with both God's will and your own desires.

Key insight: Even if you make a "wrong" decision, God will be present on the other side, ready to guide you back to the right path.

6. Take action and focus on one vocation at a time

Discernment requires action.

Active discernment: Don't get stuck in endless contemplation. Take concrete steps to gather more information and experience:

• Visit a seminary or convent if considering religious life
• Go on dates if discerning marriage
• Talk to people in the field you're considering for career choices

Single focus: You can only effectively discern one vocation at a time. Avoid trying to keep options open or pursuing multiple paths simultaneously.

By taking action and maintaining a clear focus, you create the conditions for God to reveal His will more clearly and for you to respond more decisively.

7. Holiness doesn't mean perfection, but letting God sanctify your wounds

Whatever they struggled with, whatever they wrestled with in real life, God sanctified them.

Redefining holiness: Understand that becoming a saint doesn't mean achieving perfection or living an extraordinary life. Instead, it's about allowing God to work through your imperfections and struggles.

Examples of imperfect saints:

• Mother Teresa could be cranky and hard on people
• St. Jerome was known for his sarcasm and abrasiveness
• St. Catherine of Siena may have struggled with an eating disorder

The key is not the absence of flaws or struggles, but rather how we allow God to sanctify us through them. This understanding can bring comfort and encouragement in our own journey towards holiness, knowing that our weaknesses don't disqualify us from sainthood.

Last updated: August 9, 2024