How to Meditate

1. Meditation is about becoming fully present and awake to life

The human experience is full of unpredictability and paradox, joys and sorrows, successes and failures. We can't escape any of these experiences in the vast terrain of our existence.

Meditation as a tool. Meditation is not about escaping life's challenges or achieving a blissful state. Rather, it's a practice that helps us fully engage with the entirety of our human experience. By training our minds to be present, we develop the ability to face both the pleasant and unpleasant aspects of life with equanimity.

Cultivating awareness. Through regular practice, we learn to observe our thoughts, emotions, and sensations without getting caught up in them. This heightened awareness allows us to respond to life's situations more skillfully, rather than reacting automatically based on habitual patterns.

Benefits of meditation:

• Reduced stress and anxiety
• Improved emotional regulation
• Enhanced self-awareness
• Increased focus and concentration
• Greater sense of inner peace and wellbeing

2. The technique of meditation: posture, breath, and attitude

To begin, you want to find a nice, stable base. Sometimes I call it a flat bottom, but it's basically just a stable base.

Foundational elements. The practice of meditation rests on three key elements: posture, breath, and attitude. A proper posture helps maintain alertness and focus, while also allowing for relaxation. The breath serves as an anchor for attention, bringing us back to the present moment when our minds wander.

Cultivating the right attitude. Approaching meditation with an attitude of openness, curiosity, and non-judgment is crucial. This mindset allows us to observe our experiences without getting caught up in them or trying to change them.

Key aspects of meditation technique:
Posture:

• Sit with a straight spine
• Keep shoulders relaxed
• Rest hands comfortably on thighs
  Breath:
• Focus on natural breathing
• Use breath as an anchor for attention
  Attitude:
• Maintain an open and curious mindset
• Practice non-judgment towards thoughts and experiences

3. Working with thoughts: observe without judgment

Thoughts come, emotions come, and we can see them ever so clearly.

Mindful observation. The goal of meditation is not to eliminate thoughts but to change our relationship with them. By observing thoughts without judgment or attachment, we can begin to see their transient nature and reduce their power over us.

Labeling technique. One helpful practice is to simply label thoughts as "thinking" when we notice our mind has wandered. This gentle acknowledgment helps us detach from the content of our thoughts and return to the present moment.

Strategies for working with thoughts:

• Notice thoughts without engaging with them
• Use the labeling technique: "thinking"
• Cultivate an attitude of curiosity towards mental activity
• Recognize the impermanent nature of thoughts
• Practice returning attention to the breath or chosen focus

4. Embracing emotions as a path to awakening

Emotions are actually very empowering; I call working with the emotions "accelerated transformation."

Emotions as teachers. Rather than viewing emotions as obstacles to overcome, we can learn to see them as valuable teachers on our path to self-understanding and growth. By fully experiencing our emotions without getting lost in the stories surrounding them, we can gain profound insights into our inner workings.

Developing emotional intelligence. As we become more familiar with our emotional landscape through meditation, we naturally develop greater emotional intelligence. This allows us to respond to life's challenges with more wisdom and compassion.

Steps for working with emotions in meditation:

1. Notice the emotion arising
2. Label it without judgment (e.g., "anger," "joy," "fear")
3. Feel the physical sensations associated with the emotion
4. Observe how the emotion changes and eventually passes
5. Return attention to the breath or chosen focus

5. Using sense perceptions as objects of meditation

You can use anything as an object of meditation. You can use anything that's happening to you, whether it's the arising of thoughts or strong emotions or sense perceptions.

Expanding awareness. By using our sense perceptions (sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell) as objects of meditation, we can deepen our connection to the present moment and expand our awareness beyond our habitual thought patterns.

Cultivating mindfulness. Practicing with sense perceptions helps us develop a more refined awareness of our immediate experience. This heightened sensitivity can carry over into our daily lives, allowing us to engage more fully with the world around us.

Meditation exercises using sense perceptions:

• Sound meditation: Focus on ambient sounds without labeling or judging them
• Visual meditation: Gaze softly at an object, noticing its colors, shapes, and textures
• Body scan: Systematically bring attention to different parts of the body
• Taste meditation: Eat mindfully, noticing flavors, textures, and sensations
• Smell meditation: Focus on ambient scents or use essential oils as a focal point

6. Cultivating unconditional friendliness towards oneself

We do not meditate in order to be comfortable. In other words, we don't meditate in order to always, all the time, feel good.

Self-compassion. A crucial aspect of meditation practice is developing a kind and accepting attitude towards ourselves, including our flaws and struggles. This unconditional friendliness, or "maitri," allows us to work with difficult experiences more skillfully.

Breaking habitual patterns. By cultivating self-compassion, we begin to break free from harmful self-criticism and judgment. This creates space for genuine growth and transformation to occur.

Practices for developing self-compassion:

• Loving-kindness meditation
• Recognizing common humanity in our struggles
• Treating ourselves with the same kindness we'd offer a good friend
• Acknowledging and validating our emotions without judgment
• Practicing self-care and setting healthy boundaries

7. Transforming difficulties into opportunities for growth

When it's time to leave this body, this illusionary tangle, / Don't cause yourself anxiety and grief.

Embracing challenges. The Buddhist approach teaches us to view life's difficulties not as obstacles to be avoided, but as opportunities for growth and awakening. By changing our perspective on challenging situations, we can transform them into valuable learning experiences.

Developing resilience. As we practice facing difficulties with openness and curiosity, we naturally develop greater resilience. This allows us to navigate life's ups and downs with more grace and equanimity.

Strategies for transforming difficulties:

1. Recognize the impermanent nature of all experiences
2. Look for the lesson or growth opportunity in each challenge
3. Practice staying present with discomfort rather than avoiding it
4. Cultivate gratitude for the learning opportunities difficulties provide
5. Use challenging experiences as reminders to return to the present moment

8. Letting go of fixed beliefs and embracing openness

Those who believe in existence as solid are stupid. Those who believe that everything is empty are even more stupid.

Questioning assumptions. Meditation practice encourages us to examine our deeply held beliefs and assumptions about ourselves and the world. By loosening our grip on fixed ideas, we open ourselves to new possibilities and perspectives.

Cultivating beginner's mind. Approaching life with an open, curious attitude allows us to see things as they are, rather than through the lens of our preconceptions. This "beginner's mind" is a key aspect of the meditative journey.

Benefits of letting go of fixed beliefs:

• Increased mental flexibility and adaptability
• Greater empathy and understanding of others' perspectives
• Reduced stress and anxiety related to rigid expectations
• Enhanced creativity and problem-solving abilities
• Deeper sense of connection to the present moment and to others

Last updated: January 23, 2025