I Hope You Die Soon

1. Liberation is the Loss of Self, Not a Gain

The most common misconception about liberation is that it is something an individual can gain.

Loss, not gain. Liberation isn't about acquiring something new or achieving a higher state of being; it's about the loss of the illusion of a separate self. It's the realization that the individual "I" never truly existed as an independent entity. This understanding shifts the focus from striving for something to recognizing what is already present.

Shifting perspective. Instead of seeking meaning or purpose, liberation reveals the wonder of life just happening. The focus moves from personal control to the appreciation of the present moment. The ordinary becomes extraordinary, like the texture of cat's fur or the way an ant crawls over a twig.

End of grasping. The loss of hope, in the traditional sense, is not a loss at all. It's replaced by a sense of ease and relaxation with whatever is the case. There's an end to the constant grasping for what might be, and a deep acceptance of what is.

2. Awakening: Seeing There is No "I"

Suddenly it is known that I never had a life because there never was an ‘I’.

Disappearance of self. Awakening is marked by the sudden and complete disappearance of the sense of self. This isn't a gradual process but an instantaneous shift in perception. Everything remains as it is, but it's seen without the filter of a personal "I" interpreting it.

Ordinary becomes extraordinary. The ordinary is seen for the first time without any sense of self. This is not a mystical experience but a clear perception of reality without the mediation of a personal identity. The world is seen as it is, without the overlay of personal meaning or interpretation.

Past loses its grip. The past, once a three-dimensional landscape filled with regret and guilt, becomes a flat painting. It loses its energy and reality, and the impulse to revisit it diminishes. Issues and problems still arise, but they no longer have the same power to hold onto the individual.

3. Liberation: Seeing "I" am Everything

When the self disappears, and awareness is seen as everything, then this is seen for what it is, a wonderful hologram sustained by love.

Awareness is everywhere. Liberation is the realization that awareness is not confined to a single point but is everywhere and everything. The localized sense of self is revealed to be an illusion, and the true "I" is seen as the totality of existence. There is no separation, no here or there, only oneness appearing as everything.

Hologram of love. The world is seen as a wonderful hologram sustained by love. The sense of separation, with its hopes, fears, and responsibilities, is understood as a temporary coagulation of awareness. The drama of being a person is seen as a story arising within oneness.

No choice, no regret. Liberation brings freedom from the burden of being a person who has to make choices. It's the understanding that there is no choice, no person, and no separation. Nothing you have ever done has ever led to anything because you have never done anything. There is nothing to regret, nothing to feel guilty about.

4. The Mind is a Dualistic Trap

The mind insists that it can bring us to personal enlightenment.

Mind's limitations. The mind, by its very nature, operates in duality, constantly separating things into this and that. It cannot grasp non-duality, which is beyond the realm of concepts and distinctions. The mind's insistence on making sense of everything is a barrier to seeing the truth.

Mind's endless loop. The mind is like a loop tape, constantly repeating the message "See, I'm right." It filters out any evidence to the contrary, reinforcing its own limited perspective. It believes it can lead us to enlightenment, but it can never deliver on this promise.

Mind's despair. When the mind fails to achieve enlightenment, it may lead to despair. It may try to recreate the experience of awakening, hold onto it, or live in it forever. But liberation is not a personal experience, and the mind's efforts are ultimately futile.

5. Spiritual Experiences are Personal, Not Liberating

Spiritual experiences are not difficult to evoke.

Personal experiences. Spiritual experiences, no matter how profound, are simply personal experiences happening to an unreal person. They are no more significant than putting on a shoe or having a cup of coffee. They do not lead to liberation.

Evoking experiences. Spiritual experiences can be evoked through various means, such as meditation, chanting, drugs, or extreme situations. However, these experiences are always had by someone, a person, no matter how refined. They are not liberation itself.

No meaning. Liberation has nothing to do with the absence or presence of problems or issues. It does not bring unending bliss. It is not a reward for spiritual effort. It is the seeing that there is no one to have an experience, and therefore, no meaning to any experience.

6. The Illusion of Being a Person

The sense of a being a person is so strong.

Strong addiction. The sense of being a person is a powerful addiction, arising from the belief in a separate self. This sense is reinforced by responsibilities, fears, hopes, and longings. It creates a state of contraction, where the individual feels separate from everything else.

Contradictory impulses. The person is pulled in every direction by contradictory impulses, yearning for both inclusion and solitude, independence and being looked after. This constant tension prevents any lasting satisfaction. The person is vulnerable, separate, and fearful, constantly moving between ecstasy and despair.

Disappearance of self. In a split second, the sense of "I" can drop away completely, revealing the void. This is not a gradual diffusion but a complete disappearance of self. All concepts of space and time become meaningless, and there is only omnipresence.

7. Hopelessness, Helplessness, Meaninglessness: The Great Mantra

There is no method, but if there were it might be to repeat the mantra ‘hopeless, helpless and meaningless’.

Giving up hope. The person believes there is hope and seeks to fulfill it, but hope is always eventually disappointed. Hope can never lead from "This isn't it" to "This is it" because "This is it" is already the case. Giving up hope can be a great blessing.

Accepting helplessness. The person believes there is help, but you cannot be helped to become what you already are. There is already only liberation. You are alone in your complete helplessness. There is nothing you can either do or avoid doing.

Embracing meaninglessness. The person believes there is meaning, but it is a priceless gift to see that everything is meaningless. Everything that arises is just stuff happening, with no implications and going nowhere. This can bring great relief.

8. Impeccable Behavior is Irrelevant in Oneness

There is only liberation.

Oneness is all. There is only liberation, and everything is liberation manifesting as itself. The self is liberation arising as the self. While the self is present, it prevents liberation from being seen. It cannot know liberation because it is looking for it.

Beyond duality. The mind insists that oneness must conform to its rules, but this is a dualistic trap. Oneness cannot be limited by concepts of good and bad, right and wrong. All concepts of honesty, morality, and justice lose their meaning when it is seen that there is no one making any choice.

Liberation is all. Searching for liberation is also liberation. The search is simply liberation pretending not to be itself and looking for itself. The mind sees everything as "that," but everything is "this." This is a dream, but "I" am not having the dream. "I" am a dreamed character within the dream.

9. Death is the End of the Dream

At death there is only liberation.

Dreamed character. The question of what happens after death is like asking who pays the restaurant bill of a dreamer who wakes up before the bill arrives. The question dissolves when it is seen that "I" am a dreamed character. There is no "me" who dies, no "after," and no "death."

Mind's stories. Faced with the appearance of death, the mind creates stories about its continued existence. These stories offer rewards for a life well-lived and punishments for a life of evil doing. They are seductive and intimidating, but they are all just stories.

Karma and rebirth. The story of karma and rebirth is a seductive explanation for personal suffering, but it depends on the belief in volitional action. When it is seen that there is no one, it is seen that there is no possibility of volitional action. Cause and effect fall away.

10. Liberation is Ordinary, Not Blissful

In liberation it is seen that liberation is entirely ordinary but also wonderful.

Ordinary and wonderful. Liberation is not a magical state but the seeing of the ordinary with the veil of seeking taken away. It is the squirrel on the tree trunk, the everyday moments of life, seen without the filter of the neurotic mind. The roller-coaster ride of the mind becomes a gentle wonderment.

Loss of neurosis. The mind may not like the loss of its neurosis. Thoughts create the appearance of a person who has a mind, but the apparent person does not exist. Thoughts arise from emptiness and fall away again with no significance.

Fullness of the void. Awakening is seeing the emptiness of the void, while liberation is seeing the fullness of the void. With liberation comes the seeing that there is only unconditional love arising as everything that is. There can be no explanation for this, it simply is so.

Last updated: February 3, 2025