'I' is a Door

1. The 'I' is More Subtle Than Egoism

The ego as mentioned by teachers of the Vedantic and Buddhist ways of liberation as being the primary obstacle, is a thinking activity, in which you identify yourself with an external figure which consequently can be seen and judged.

Subtlety of the 'I'. The ego, as commonly understood, is often associated with selfishness and egoism. However, in spiritual contexts, particularly within Vedantic and Buddhist teachings, the ego refers to a more subtle phenomenon: the thinking activity of identifying oneself with an external figure. This identification leads to self-consciousness and a constant comparison with others, creating a sense of separation and inhibiting spontaneity.

Comparison and self-image. This subtle 'I' thrives on acts of comparison, constantly evaluating oneself against external standards. It builds a self-image that resists dissolution, clinging to opinions and maintaining a constructed persona. This maintenance of a self-image is what we call the 'person'; it is the maintenance of a self-image.

The 'I' vs. egoism. While egoism manifests as outward selfishness, the subtle 'I' is characterized by an internal struggle, a self-consciousness that inhibits aliveness. Recognizing this distinction is crucial for those seeking liberation, as merely addressing outward egoism is insufficient to dismantle the deeper, more pervasive sense of self.

2. 'I' is a Comparative Term

The same term that deserves to be disapproved as signifying a mistake, is apparently also used to denote the highest principle.

Duality of 'I'. The term 'I' is inherently comparative, capable of signifying both the ego, a source of illusion and suffering, and the highest principle, the ultimate reality. This duality is evident across various spiritual traditions, where 'I' is sometimes rejected as a mistaken identification and other times embraced as a pointer to the divine.

Dzogchen example. In Dzogchen, the radical non-dualistic core of Tibetan Buddhism, the term 'I' is used to denote the highest principle, as being the 'majestic creativity of the universe'. This contrasts with other Buddhist teachings that discourage the use of 'I' to avoid reinforcing the illusion of a separate self.

Monotheistic religions. Similarly, in monotheistic religions, 'I' is often put in the mouth of the Ultimate, or the Supreme Being, in the scriptures of the different monotheistic religions; it appears that in origin ‘I’ even belongs to his name. This highlights the complex and multifaceted nature of the term 'I', its capacity to represent both the limited self and the boundless reality.

3. 'Enquiry' Reveals Non-Existence

‘You will find it does not exist.’

The illusion of the 'I'. Ramana Maharshi emphasized that the 'I' (aham-kara), or the 'I-thought' (aham-vritti), must be "killed" or "destroyed." However, this terminology can be misleading, as it suggests an aggressive inner conflict. The true intention is not to eliminate a real entity, but to discover its origin and abide there.

The 'knot in the Heart'. Ramana described the 'I' as a 'knot' (granthi) in the Heart, a connection between Consciousness and insentient matter. This knot is the root of identification with the body and the source of suffering. The key to unraveling this knot is not violence, but sheer looking, a fresh and unbiased observation of the 'I-person'.

The disappearing ego. By closely examining the 'I-person', one discovers that it does not exist independently. It is an intangible link that persists only as long as it is not investigated. Like a stranger mistaken for an important guest, the ego disappears when scrutinized, revealing its illusory nature.

4. 'I' is Always the Case

In fact that which we call an ‘object’ (whether it is a material object, sensory perceptible, or a psychic object, a thought) is always a simultaneous existence of subject and object, aham and idam (‘I’ and ‘this’).

Always-present aspect. Ramana Maharshi emphasized the always-present, self-luminous aspect within 'I', the Consciousness that continuously remains pure, untouched by entanglement. Despite the knot between Consciousness and the physical body, Consciousness as such has continuously remained pure, not entangled with anything whatsoever. We are invited to recognize and understand that in fact the ‘I’ always has been ‘made’ of Consciousness as such.

Aham-idam. The 'I'-thought (aham-vritti) is a combination of 'I' (aham) with an object, a 'this' (idam). This creates a continuous gyration of 'this's, with the 'I' identifying with and separating from them. However, within this combination, aham always remains the same, singular and uninterrupted.

Abiding with the subject. The advice is to stay with aham, 'I', and it becomes more and more pure, and less and less distracted by beliefs such as ‘I am this’, ‘I am doing well’, ‘I am worthless’, etcetera. By following these instructions you recognize the presence of pure ‘I’, always subject, self-luminous, giving light from itself to whatever is an object. From itself? Yes, from itSelf, because the more you ask after the source of ‘I’, the more you can see that the ‘I’ in fact is mere ‘I’, totally objectless, radiating, continuous ‘I,I,I,I,I,I,I’.

5. The 'I' Doesn't Need Replacement

The ‘I’ casts off the illusion of ‘I’ and yet remains as ‘I’.

No replacement needed. There is no "bad" 'I' that needs to be destroyed and replaced by a "clean" or "pure" 'I'. The 'I' is always the same, self-luminous and constantly present. The term 'annihilate' (nasha) refers to the 'I'-thought (aham-vritti), the entanglement of 'I' with an object (aham-idam), the inclination of the 'I' to present itself as an object.

Paradox of Self-realization. The 'I' casts off the illusion of 'I' and yet remains as 'I'. This is the paradox of Self-realization, where the 'I'-thought is annihilated, but the pure 'I' remains. The realized do not see any contradiction in it.

Intuitive 'I'. There is only one 'I' all along, but what rises up from time to time is the mistaken 'I'-thought. The intuitive 'I' always remains Self-shining, even before it becomes manifest. The key is to keep the 'I'-'I' always in view, recognizing the presence of pure 'I', always subject, self-luminous, giving light from itself to whatever is an object.

6. 'I'-Principle is Ultimate Reality

The ‘I’-Principle is the only ultimate Reality.

Synonym for the Absolute. Atmananda considered the 'I'-Principle a synonym for Ultimate Reality, the Absolute. It is what is truly meant by the word 'I', preceding any mental movement or framing. He preferred the term 'I'-Principle because he considered that the word ‘I’ has the least chance of being mistaken.

Prior to mental movement. What ‘I’ as such really is, precisely, is prior to any mental movement or framing. With expressions like ‘in itself’ and ‘as such’ language stops short. Something is referring to itself. Something as such does not change the next moment into something else. It is the constant factor in the ever changing, it is its own true nature. It does not rely on anything else.

Objective vs. subjective. Atmananda used the terms objective and subjective in a unique way. Objective refers to everything that can be observed, while subjective refers to that which is merely Subject, that which cannot be observed by definition and which constantly illumines whatever is the object. This means that the enquiry into something ‘inside’ as a findable ‘essence’ or ‘core’ will never offer any insight in the Ultimate.

7. Guru Exists in the Dualistic Sphere

Think of your Guru only in the dualistic sphere.

Advaita and the Guru. Atmananda emphasized that advaita, non-duality, is not applicable to the relationship between teacher and student. He considered it a pitfall to prematurely claim that 'everything is Consciousness' in a worldly or relational environment, and he continued pointing out 'difference' as long as this was the true state of affairs to the student.

Devotional attitude. Atmananda considered a devotional attitude to be a great help, but only towards one's own Guru. He cautioned against similar devotional advances towards any other form, be it of God or of man.

Strict relationship. A disciple should never bow allegiance to two gurus at the same time, as accepting more than one guru at a time is even more dangerous than having none at all. This strict and dualistic approach to the student-guru relationship highlights the importance of discernment and appropriate behavior on different levels of reality.

8. All Activities Worship 'I'

I am pure happiness. All the activities of the sense-organs and the mind aim at happiness. Thus all their activities are puja [acts of worship] done to Me.

Consciousness speaking. Atmananda used a style of writing in which Consciousness itself is speaking, inviting the reader to look at things from the perspective of 'I' as the one and only Reality. This perspective reveals that every object, wherever placed, is asserting 'Me', and that 'I' enjoy Myself everywhere and in everything.

Thoughts and feelings. Thoughts and feelings rise and set in 'Me', and 'I' am their changeless Witness. 'I' am the Light of Consciousness in all thoughts and perceptions and the Light of Love in all feelings. This understanding transforms the way we perceive our inner experiences.

Puja to 'I'. All activities of the sense-organs and the mind aim at happiness, thus all their activities are puja (acts of worship) done to 'Me'. 'I' am ever in repose, disinterestedly perceiving this puja. Once they understand that by their activities they are doing puja to 'Me', and in passivity they lie touching 'Me', all their suffering ceases.

9. Real Nature is Always Present

When you are in deep sleep, you are in your Real Nature.

Unchanging Reality. Atmananda conveyed the understanding that a reversal can occur in our thinking and speaking about ourselves. We are already looking from that which we are looking for; we really need not go anywhere. All my thinking is ‘heading’ in My direction, in order to arrive at a dissolution in the peace that I am, and this heading in My direction is not an assault.

All states of being. The real nature of thought is Consciousness, and the true nature of feeling is Happiness. Whenever a thought or feeling arises, you are in your Real Nature as Consciousness and Happiness.

Inescapable Nature. When you are in deep sleep, you are in your Real Nature. When you are in deep sorrow, you are in your Real Nature. When you are in extreme dispassion, or when you are terror-stricken, you are in your Real Nature. I am never deprived of my Real Nature, I can never escape It.

10. 'I Am' is Foe and Friend

That knowledge of ‘I am’ is the greatest foe and the greatest friend.

Paradox of 'I am'. Nisargadatta Maharaj presented the concept of 'the knowledge I am', or 'I am-ness', as both the ultimate medicine and the disease itself. This concept points to the basic and plain knowledge or feeling of being, of being consciously present.

The touch of beingness. The sense of 'I am' is a universal principle, present in exactly the same way in each being, prior to the interpretation 'I am John' or 'I am Ann'. This sense of 'I am' is a touch, a first vibration, a most subtle kind of touch which Nisargadatta called 'consciousness', the principle 'I am'.

Worship and propitiation. Although it might be your greatest enemy, you would do well to fully worship it. So whether illusion or not, at this moment it does not matter at all, because ultimately it is only God, the ever creating principle that brings about everything. It is true this means that you can be seduced to cling to a form, but also by the same token you can be liberated from this clinging by the same principle.

11. Worship the Touch of 'I Am'

‘You are’, that itself is the atman.

Atman as God. Worship atman as the God; there is nothing else. You worship that principle only; nothing else needs to be done. This very knowledge ‘you are’ will lead to the highest, to the Ultimate.

Continual remembrance. You must continually remember, ‘chew the cud’. You must continually think about it. This means that you totally merge with this beingness, with this primal vibration.

Merging with beingness. Take all of your passion to this unlocalizable ‘place’, applaud this vibration and do not be worried about the fact that this is still a form of duality, a form of energy or ‘corporality’. Worship Her, cheer Her, do not hold back anything, give yourself totally to Her, so that you may melt with Her. Then She shows you, within the merging, that ‘two’ has ceased to exist.

12. Experience is the Last Object

The Guru, God, your own knowledge [‘I am’] – these three are one.

The last object. 'I am' is one. It is one Object. We may also express it differently, namely, that it is the last object. This last object is the same in everybody. There is no difference whatsoever in ‘I am’ in the variety of individuals.

Freedom from fascination. Abiding here, you are already free from fascination. To this one Object point the well-known words: "The Guru, God, your own knowledge [‘I am’] – these three are one."

The witness. As long as an object appears, there is a Witness of it – You are That. You yourself are not an object. You are constantly looking from Yourself already now, that is, from Light, your own Luminosity. The ‘Witness’ is not something that exists as such – it does exist only when an object appears.

Last updated: February 23, 2025