In the Land of Invisible Women

1. Entering a World of Veils and Paradox

Even when critically ill, I learned, hiding her face was of paramount importance.

Arrival in Riyadh. The author, a Muslim doctor from the West, arrives in Saudi Arabia for a job, expecting her faith to provide easy acceptance. She is immediately confronted by a society governed by strict Wahabi interpretations of Sharia law, starkly different from her own moderate upbringing. The first patient, an elderly Bedouin woman, reveals the extreme emphasis on female concealment, even in a medical setting.

Initial cultural shock. Despite her Muslim identity, the author feels like a stranger. Simple acts like driving are forbidden for women, highlighting a loss of autonomy. The airport experience reveals pervasive segregation and the requirement for women to be received by a male sponsor, underscoring their dependent status.

Contrasts abound. The journey from the airport showcases jarring juxtapositions:

• Luxury cars (Benz, Cadillac) alongside camels.
• American fast-food chains (Taco Bell, McDonalds) with Arabic signs.
• Modern infrastructure (gleaming airport, wide highways) next to undeveloped land.
• Men in traditional robes using cell phones.
  This blend of the modern and medieval creates a disorienting landscape.

2. The Abbayah: More Than Just a Covering

Inside the abbayah, I felt oddly free.

Mandatory concealment. Upon arrival, the author must immediately acquire an abbayah, the full-length black robe and headscarf required for all women in public, regardless of faith. This enforced veiling is a direct manifestation of Wahabi Sharia law, which goes beyond traditional Islamic modesty in its severity.

A complex symbol. Initially feeling erased and uncomfortable in the shapeless garment, the author soon discovers a surprising duality. The abbayah, while a symbol of oppression and loss of individuality, also offers a sense of safety and anonymity in public spaces, deflecting intrusive male gazes.

Diversity in veiling. The author observes varying degrees of veiling among Saudi women, from those exposing groomed eyebrows to the extreme, opaque shrouds of the most orthodox Wahabis. This spectrum reflects differing interpretations and personal choices within the mandated framework, though the compulsion itself remains.

3. Unveiling the Private Lives of Saudi Women

Under an impassive, forbidding surface, Saudi Arabia was very far from monolithic.

Beyond the black bundles. The author's first glimpse into the private lives of Saudi women comes at a party, where, behind high walls and removed from public view, women shed their abbayahs and reveal vibrant personalities, stylish Western clothing, and a surprising degree of independence and ambition.

Hidden dynamism. These women are not the voiceless, passive figures seen in public. They are educated professionals, business owners (often operating through male proxies), and sophisticated individuals who speak multiple languages and engage in lively conversation, dancing, and even smoking hookah.

Contrasting perspectives. The author encounters differing views on veiling and the religious police among Saudi women, from those who embrace veiling as a personal choice to those who resent the loss of freedoms enjoyed before the rise of Wahabi influence in 1979. This reveals a conflicted society beneath the surface conformity.

4. The Pervasive Shadow of the Religious Police

In this short foray into the world outside my compound, I learned I had made my home in the epicenter of a wasp's nest of intolerance: in Riyadh, home of the Wahabi clergy.

Enforcers of orthodoxy. The Mutawaeen, members of the Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, are state-appointed religious police who patrol public spaces to enforce Wahabi interpretations of Sharia law. They are invariably male, often intimidating, and their authority is widely feared.

Arbitrary and intrusive. The author experiences their arbitrary power firsthand:

• Harassment for improperly covering her hair in public.
• Intrusions into women-only spaces like restaurant sections.
• Demands to see marriage licenses.
• Confiscation of items deemed "haram" (forbidden), like music.
  Their presence creates an atmosphere of constant surveillance and anxiety.

Historical context. The Mutawaeen's origins are tied to the formation of the Saudi Kingdom, initially used to enforce religious conformity and consolidate power. While their power is checked by the monarchy, their influence remains significant, particularly in Riyadh, the heartland of Wahabiism.

5. Hajj: A Spiritual Journey of Equality and Contrast

Wa Allah, Qanta, let me tell you something, something very exciting; one can only go to Mecca when invited by Allah.

An unexpected calling. The author feels a sudden, strong pull to perform Hajj, the pilgrimage to Mecca, despite feeling unprepared and religiously inadequate. This spontaneous decision is seen by her Saudi friends as a divine invitation, a sign that God is calling her.

Experiencing unity and diversity. Hajj is a transformative experience, bringing together millions of Muslims from diverse backgrounds in a shared act of worship. The author witnesses:

• Men and women praying side-by-side around the Ka'aba.
• Pilgrims of all races and nationalities united in their devotion.
• Acts of profound patience and humility, particularly among the poor.
  This stands in stark contrast to the segregation and social hierarchies of Riyadh.

Moments of profound connection. Standing before the Ka'aba, the author feels an overwhelming sense of divine presence and personal absolution. The experience is deeply spiritual, offering a glimpse of Islam's core values of equality and mercy, distinct from the rigid interpretations she encounters in Riyadh.

6. Navigating Relationships in a Segregated Society

I was finding love in the Kingdom to be a complicated, secretive matter and, like everything else here, thoroughly opaque.

Barriers to connection. The strict gender segregation and laws prohibiting mixing between unrelated men and women make forming relationships incredibly challenging. Simple interactions like having lunch with a male colleague are seen as scandalous.

The rise of virtual connection. With physical interaction restricted, the internet and mobile technology become crucial tools for communication and courtship. Online chatting and messaging allow men and women to connect and develop relationships in a hidden, virtual space.

Risks and consequences. Pursuing relationships outside the sanctioned norms carries significant risks, including harassment by the Mutawaeen, house arrest, deportation, and damage to reputation. Even seemingly innocent interactions can be misinterpreted and lead to severe repercussions.

7. The Complexities and Contradictions of Saudi Men

They felt abandoned, lost, and unvalued.

Beyond the stereotype. The author encounters a wide spectrum of Saudi men, challenging simplistic Western stereotypes. While some embody the rigid authority of Wahabiism or the reckless entitlement of wealth, others are educated, progressive, and deeply conflicted.

Emasculation and repression. Despite their societal power, many Saudi men experience a form of emasculation. The Mutawaeen publicly humiliate men for minor infractions, and even powerful individuals must rely on higher authority to navigate the system, highlighting a lack of personal agency.

Hidden struggles. The author observes the "Lost Boys" – privileged young men struggling with addiction and lack of purpose, products of distant fathers and a culture that offers wealth but little direction. She also encounters men who are supportive of women's progress, acting as mentors and allies, revealing a more nuanced reality.

8. Marriage, Divorce, and Shifting Family Norms

Families here are afraid of divorce.

Traditional structures. Marriage remains a central institution, often arranged and endogamous (within the same tribe or family). Polygamy, though permitted in Islam under strict conditions, is historically tied to the consolidation of power by the monarchy and is less common among the working class due to economic constraints.

Rising divorce rates. Despite the cultural and religious stigma, divorce is becoming increasingly common, particularly among educated women. Factors include:

• Women's increased education and independence.
• Difficulty finding suitable partners who accept their professional ambitions.
• Inability to adjust to traditional marital expectations after waiting longer to marry.

Custody and consequences. Islamic law provides guidelines for divorce and child custody, prioritizing the child's welfare and religious upbringing. However, Saudi law often favors the father, and divorce can lead to the painful separation of siblings and limit a mother's rights, especially if she remarries outside the faith or lives independently.

9. Confronting Abuse and Advocating for the Vulnerable

This problem is much bigger than I realized.

Hidden realities. Beneath the surface of a wealthy society, the author encounters disturbing cases of child abuse and domestic violence, often hidden within families and rarely reported or investigated. The lack of robust social services and a culture of silence contribute to the vulnerability of women and children.

Stories of suffering. Specific cases highlight the severity of the issue:

• A nine-year-old boy found hanging, likely a victim of abuse.
• A five-year-old camel jockey, severely malnourished and bearing marks of long-term abuse, who died in the ER.
• The widely publicized case of Rania al-Baz, a newsreader brutally beaten by her husband, which brought the issue into public awareness.

Challenges to justice. Despite clear evidence of harm, seeking justice is difficult. The legal system, influenced by Wahabi interpretations, may prioritize family honor over individual safety, and women face significant barriers in reporting abuse and securing protection or custody of their children.

10. Champions of Change and Women's Rights

Make no mistake, Qanta my dear, we are changing!

Activism from within. The author meets Saudi women who are actively working for social change, particularly in advocating for women's and children's rights. Figures like Dr. Maha al-Muneef, a pediatric infectious disease specialist, are using their positions and influence to challenge the status quo.

Progress through patronage. Change is often facilitated by support from unexpected sources, including enlightened men and members of the royal family. Royal decrees and patronage provide the necessary "wasta" (influence) to establish organizations and push for legal reforms, such as:

• The National Family Safety Program to address domestic violence.
• Allowing women to practice law.
• Supporting women's education and professional development.

A complex path forward. Saudi women are navigating a complex path, balancing cultural expectations and religious interpretations with their aspirations for independence and equality. They are finding ways to assert their rights and influence change from within the system, often citing Islamic principles that support women's empowerment.

11. The Profound Impact of 9/11

They will pass through Islam as an arrow passes through its quarry.

A world divided. The 9/11 attacks create a seismic shift, instantly polarizing the author's world. As the perpetrators are identified as Saudi, the author finds herself on the "wrong pole," experiencing a chilling shift in the attitudes of some Saudi and expatriate colleagues.

Witnessing disturbing reactions. Instead of sympathy, the author encounters disturbing reactions among some colleagues:

• Muted exaltation and relish at the destruction.
• Justification of the attacks as deserved retribution for U.S. foreign policy.
• Celebration with cakes on hospital wards.
  This reveals a deep-seated anti-American sentiment and a calculating, dehumanizing view of the victims among some individuals.

Alienation and loss. The events of 9/11 and the reactions she witnesses lead to a profound sense of alienation. The author realizes she no longer belongs in this environment, where her values of compassion and respect for life clash with the hateful sentiments expressed by some who share her faith but not her humanity.

Last updated: June 9, 2025