Influence

1. Reciprocity: The Powerful Urge to Repay

"The rule says that we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us."

Deeply ingrained social norm. The reciprocity rule is a powerful influence on human behavior, deeply ingrained in all cultures. It compels us to repay favors, gifts, invitations, and concessions with something of similar value. This rule has been crucial for human social evolution, allowing for the division of labor, exchange of resources, and creation of interdependencies.

Exploited by compliance professionals. Marketers and salespeople often exploit this rule by:

• Offering free samples or small gifts
• Providing unsolicited favors
• Making concessions (e.g., "rejection-then-retreat" technique)

Defense against manipulation. To protect yourself:

• Recognize when a "gift" is really a sales tactic
• Accept only gifts you genuinely want
• Be prepared to reciprocate appropriately, not excessively

2. Commitment and Consistency: The Need to Align Actions with Beliefs

"Once we make a choice or take a stand, we will encounter personal and interpersonal pressures to behave consistently with that commitment."

Psychological need for coherence. Humans have a strong desire to be (and appear) consistent with their words, beliefs, and actions. This drive stems from:

• Personal and cultural values placed on consistency
• The mental efficiency of maintaining established positions

Exploited in compliance techniques. Salespeople and marketers leverage this principle by:

• Asking for small initial commitments
• Encouraging public declarations
• Using written statements

The foot-in-the-door technique. This classic persuasion method works by:

1. Requesting a small, easily granted favor
2. Following up with a larger, related request
3. Relying on the person's need to appear consistent

To defend against manipulation, be aware of how small commitments can lead to larger ones, and be willing to reassess your position when presented with new information.

3. Social Proof: Following the Crowd in Uncertain Situations

"We view a behavior as correct in a given situation to the degree that we see others performing it."

Automatic social influence. In ambiguous situations, people often look to others' actions to determine appropriate behavior. This principle is especially powerful when:

• The situation is unclear or uncertain
• The others seem similar to us

Widely exploited in marketing. Examples include:

• Advertisements claiming "bestselling" or "fastest-growing"
• Canned laughter in TV comedies
• Testimonials and social media influences

Pluralistic ignorance. This phenomenon occurs when a group of people misinterpret each other's behavior, leading to situations where everyone conforms to what they mistakenly believe is the group consensus.

To resist undue influence:

• Seek objective information beyond social cues
• Be aware of artificial or manipulated social proof
• Remember that popularity doesn't always equal quality or correctness

4. Liking: The Tendency to Say Yes to Those We Like

"Few of us would be surprised to learn that, as a rule, we most prefer to say yes to the requests of people we know and like."

Factors that increase liking. We tend to like people who:

• Are physically attractive
• Are similar to us
• Compliment us
• Cooperate with us towards mutual goals
• Are associated with positive things

Exploited in sales and marketing. Techniques include:

• Using attractive spokespersons
• Emphasizing similarities with customers
• Associating products with liked celebrities or positive imagery

The Tupperware party phenomenon. This sales technique brilliantly exploits the liking principle by having friends sell to friends, combining several liking factors:

• Familiarity
• Similarity
• Association with a pleasant social event

To defend against manipulation, separate your feelings about a persuader from the merits of their argument or product. Be especially cautious when you find yourself liking someone unusually quickly or strongly in a sales situation.

5. Authority: The Automatic Deference to Experts

"There is a deep-seated sense of duty to authority within us all."

Societal conditioning. From childhood, we're taught to respect and obey authority figures. This tendency serves us well in many situations but can lead to blind obedience.

Symbols of authority. People often respond automatically to symbols of authority rather than actual expertise:

• Titles (e.g., Dr., Professor)
• Clothing (e.g., uniforms, suits)
• Trappings (e.g., luxury cars)

Milgram's shocking experiment. Stanley Milgram's famous study revealed the power of perceived authority:

• 65% of participants obeyed instructions to administer seemingly dangerous electric shocks
• Participants often continued despite personal distress

To resist inappropriate influence:

1. Ask: "Is this authority truly an expert in this specific situation?"
2. Consider: "How truthful can we expect this expert to be?"
3. Be alert to authority symbols being used without real expertise

6. Scarcity: Valuing What's Rare or Dwindling in Availability

"Opportunities seem more valuable to us when they are less available."

Psychological reactance. When our choices or freedoms are limited, we often desire the restricted option more. This explains why:

• "Limited time offers" are effective
• Censorship often increases interest in the censored information
• Forbidden "fruit" seems sweeter

Loss aversion. People are more motivated to avoid losses than to achieve gains. Marketers exploit this by framing offers as ways to avoid losing out.

Scarcity tactics in marketing:

• Limited number: "Only 5 left in stock!"
• Deadline: "Offer ends midnight tonight!"
• Exclusive information: "Insider knowledge not available to the public"

To defend against scarcity tactics:

• Recognize the emotional response scarcity triggers
• Ask yourself: "Why do I want this? For its utility or just because it's scarce?"
• Remember that scarce doesn't always mean better

7. Weapons of Influence: Automatic Triggers in a Complex World

"Very often when we make a decision about someone or something we don't use all of the relevant available information. We use, instead, only a single, highly representative piece of the total."

Information overload. In our complex, fast-paced world, we increasingly rely on mental shortcuts to make decisions. These shortcuts usually serve us well but can be exploited.

Six key principles of influence:

1. Reciprocity
2. Commitment and Consistency
3. Social Proof
4. Liking
5. Authority
6. Scarcity

Ethical use vs. exploitation. These principles aren't inherently manipulative. They become problematic when:

• The trigger is fabricated (e.g., fake testimonials)
• The principle is used to push people towards unwise decisions

Defending against manipulation:

• Be aware of these principles and how they work
• Notice when you feel rushed or pressured to decide
• Focus on the facts and your true needs, not emotional triggers

In our information-rich age, these mental shortcuts are increasingly necessary. The key is to use them wisely while being alert to their potential for misuse.

Last updated: January 22, 2025