Key Takeaways
1. Beliefs are models, not reality
Beliefs seem like perfect representations of the world, but, in fact, they are imperfect models for navigating a complex, multidimensional, unknowable reality.
The map is not the territory. Our beliefs are like maps that help us navigate the world, but they are not the world itself. They are simplified models of a complex reality that we can never fully grasp. Just as a map of a city doesn't capture every detail of the streets, buildings, and people, our beliefs don't capture every nuance of reality.
This concept is illustrated by the parable of the blind men and the elephant. Each man touches a different part of the elephant and believes he understands the whole based on his limited experience. One feels the trunk and thinks it's like a snake, another touches the leg and thinks it's like a tree. Their beliefs are based on real experiences, but they fail to capture the full picture.
Understanding that our beliefs are models, not reality, allows us to:
- Hold our beliefs more loosely
- Be open to new information and perspectives
- Recognize that others may have equally valid but different models
- Avoid confusing our beliefs with objective truth
2. We construct our beliefs based on limited experiences
We construct beliefs slowly, layer by layer, over time, using something I call the pyramid of belief.
Our beliefs are built hierarchically. At the base of the pyramid is our limited experience of reality. From this, we selectively pay attention to certain aspects, form theories and make judgments, which ultimately crystallize into beliefs. This process is largely unconscious and shaped by our needs, emotions, and prior experiences.
The pyramid of belief consists of:
- Reality (unknowable in its entirety)
- Our experiences (a tiny subset of reality)
- What we pay attention to (an even smaller subset)
- Theories we form based on our attention
- Judgments we make based on those theories
- Beliefs that arise from these judgments
Understanding this construction process allows us to:
- Recognize the limitations of our beliefs
- Question the foundations of our beliefs
- Be more open to alternative interpretations of experiences
- Actively seek out diverse experiences to broaden our perspective
3. Beliefs create shared worlds and blind spots
Beliefs are the psychological material we use to co-create a shared world, so we can live, work, and do things together.
Beliefs shape our collective reality. When groups of people share similar beliefs, they create a common understanding of the world that allows for cooperation and shared action. This can be powerful and productive, but it can also create blind spots that limit our ability to see alternative possibilities.
Examples of shared belief worlds:
- Organizational cultures
- Political ideologies
- Religious communities
- Scientific paradigms
These shared worlds can create:
- Efficiency through shared assumptions
- Group cohesion and identity
- Blind spots to alternative perspectives
- Resistance to change and new ideas
To overcome these limitations:
- Actively seek out diverse perspectives
- Question "obvious" truths within your group
- Look for opportunities in the spaces between different belief systems
4. Beliefs defend themselves and are tied to identity
Governing beliefs, which form the basis for other beliefs, are the most difficult to change, because they are tied to personal identity and feelings of self-worth.
Our core beliefs resist change. Beliefs, especially those central to our identity, are protected by what Chris Argyris called "self-sealing logic." This means that we unconsciously defend our beliefs by discounting contradictory information and seeking out confirming evidence. This process is especially strong for our governing beliefs—those fundamental assumptions that shape our worldview and sense of self.
Characteristics of governing beliefs:
- Deeply tied to personal identity
- Often unconscious or unexamined
- Form the foundation for other beliefs
- Strongly defended against challenges
To work with governing beliefs:
- Cultivate self-awareness to identify your core beliefs
- Practice empathy to understand others' governing beliefs
- Create safe spaces for exploring and questioning fundamental assumptions
- Be willing to sit with discomfort when core beliefs are challenged
5. Assume you're not objective and empty your cup
If you're part of the system you want to change, you're part of the problem.
Recognize your biases. We all have blind spots, and it's crucial to acknowledge that we are not objective observers, especially when we're trying to create change. The Johari window model illustrates that there are aspects of ourselves that others can see but we cannot. By assuming we're not objective, we open ourselves to learning and growth.
To practice this principle:
- Seek feedback from others about your blind spots
- Use tools like the Johari window to increase self-awareness
- Approach situations with a "beginner's mind"
- Be willing to let go of preconceptions and existing knowledge
Empty your cup refers to the Zen concept of releasing preconceptions to make room for new understanding. This practice involves:
- Suspending judgment
- Listening deeply to others
- Being open to new ideas and perspectives
- Letting go of the need to be right or to have all the answers
6. Create safe spaces and triangulate multiple perspectives
If you don't understand the underlying need, nothing else matters. People will not share their innermost needs unless they feel safe, respected, and accepted for who they are.
Safety enables vulnerability and growth. Creating environments where people feel psychologically safe is crucial for understanding underlying needs, exploring beliefs, and fostering change. This involves respecting emotions, recognizing that they are integral to decision-making and motivation.
To create safe spaces:
- Practice active listening without judgment
- Acknowledge and validate others' feelings
- Build trust through consistency and follow-through
- Encourage open dialogue and diverse perspectives
Triangulate to gain deeper understanding. Look at situations from multiple angles to get a more complete picture. This involves:
- Seeking out diverse viewpoints
- Considering seemingly contradictory beliefs as potentially valid
- Using tools like overlaying different "maps" of a situation
- Recognizing that if something doesn't make sense, you're likely missing important information
7. Ask questions, make connections, and disrupt routines
Try to understand people's hopes, dreams, and frustrations. Explore the social system and make connections to create new opportunities.
Curiosity opens doors. By asking thoughtful questions and truly listening to the answers, we can uncover hidden needs, desires, and possibilities. This process of exploration and connection-making can reveal opportunities for positive change that were previously invisible.
Effective questions to ask:
- "What are your hopes and dreams?"
- "What frustrations do you face?"
- "What would make your life/work better?"
- "If you could change one thing, what would it be?"
Disrupt to see clearly. Many beliefs are embedded in habitual routines that run on autopilot. By intentionally disrupting these routines, even in small ways, we can create space for new perspectives and possibilities to emerge.
Ways to disrupt routines:
- Change your physical environment
- Alter your daily schedule
- Try a new approach to a familiar task
- Engage with people outside your usual circle
8. Act "as if" to test new beliefs in the present moment
You can test beliefs even if you don't believe they are true. All you need to do is act as if they were true and see what happens.
Experiment with new realities. Instead of debating the validity of beliefs, we can test them through action. This "as if" approach allows us to explore new possibilities without fully committing to them, creating a low-risk way to challenge existing beliefs and discover new truths.
Steps for acting "as if":
- Identify a belief you want to test
- Imagine how you would act if that belief were true
- Behave in accordance with that imagined reality for a set period
- Observe the results and reflect on what you've learned
This practice is based on the concept of double-loop learning, which involves questioning and potentially changing underlying assumptions, rather than simply adjusting behaviors within existing belief systems.
9. Use stories to make sense and share new beliefs
If you give people facts without a story, they will explain it within their existing belief system. The best way to promote a new or different belief is not with facts, but with a story.
Stories are belief-sharing tools. Humans are wired for narrative, and stories provide a powerful way to make sense of experiences and share beliefs. Unlike raw facts, stories provide context, emotion, and meaning that can bypass existing belief systems and open minds to new possibilities.
Elements of effective belief-sharing stories:
- Relatable characters or situations
- A clear problem or challenge
- Actions taken and their consequences
- Lessons learned or insights gained
- Emotional resonance
To harness the power of stories:
- Collect and share personal anecdotes that illustrate your beliefs
- Use storytelling techniques in presentations and conversations
- Ask others to share their stories and listen deeply
- Look for patterns and shared themes in the stories you hear
10. Evolve yourself to create positive change
If you can be open about how change affects you personally, you have a better chance of achieving your aims. To change the world, you must be willing to change yourself.
Personal growth enables broader change. Creating positive change in the world requires a willingness to evolve our own beliefs, behaviors, and identity. By being open about our own struggles and growth, we become more effective change agents and inspire others to join us in the process.
Steps for personal evolution:
- Identify areas where your beliefs may be limiting you
- Seek out new experiences and perspectives
- Practice the liminal thinking techniques in your own life
- Reflect on your growth and share your journey with others
Remember that change is often uncomfortable and involves risk. However, by embracing this discomfort and being willing to evolve, we open ourselves to new possibilities and become catalysts for positive transformation in our relationships, organizations, and communities.
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FAQ
What's "Liminal Thinking: Create the Change You Want by Changing the Way You Think" about?
- Concept of Liminal Thinking: The book introduces "liminal thinking" as the art of creating change by understanding, shaping, and reframing beliefs.
- Belief Systems: It explores how beliefs are formed, how they shape our reality, and how they can be changed to create new possibilities.
- Practical Guide: The book provides principles and practices to help individuals and organizations navigate change effectively.
- Personal and Organizational Change: It addresses both personal transformation and organizational development, making it relevant for a wide audience.
Why should I read "Liminal Thinking"?
- Understanding Change: It offers insights into how change happens and how you can influence it in your personal and professional life.
- Practical Tools: The book provides actionable practices that can be applied immediately to improve decision-making and problem-solving.
- Broaden Perspectives: It encourages readers to challenge their own beliefs and assumptions, leading to personal growth and better relationships.
- Engaging Stories: The author uses real-life stories and examples to illustrate concepts, making the book engaging and relatable.
What are the key takeaways of "Liminal Thinking"?
- Beliefs Shape Reality: Our beliefs are models that shape how we perceive and interact with the world, and they can be changed.
- Nine Practices: The book outlines nine practices to help you challenge and change your beliefs, such as "Empty Your Cup" and "Create Safe Space."
- Self-Reflection: It emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and understanding your role in the systems you want to change.
- Storytelling: Using stories to make sense of experiences and communicate new beliefs is a powerful tool for change.
What is the concept of "liminal space" in "Liminal Thinking"?
- Definition: Liminal space is described as a threshold or boundary, a state of ambiguity that precedes a breakthrough to new thinking.
- Role in Change: It is the space where change happens, as it allows for the questioning and re-evaluation of existing beliefs.
- Psychological Agility: Liminal thinking involves developing the psychological agility to navigate these transitional spaces effectively.
- Opportunities for Growth: Recognizing and embracing liminal spaces can lead to personal and organizational growth.
How does "Liminal Thinking" suggest we change our beliefs?
- Assume Non-Objectivity: Start by assuming you are not objective and that your beliefs may be flawed or incomplete.
- Empty Your Cup: Let go of preconceived notions and judgments to make room for new ideas and perspectives.
- Triangulate and Validate: Look at situations from multiple viewpoints and validate your beliefs through testing and questioning.
- Act As If: Experiment with new beliefs by acting as if they are true and observing the outcomes.
What are the nine practices of "Liminal Thinking"?
- Assume You Are Not Objective: Recognize your biases and limitations in understanding.
- Empty Your Cup: Be open to new information and perspectives.
- Create Safe Space: Foster environments where people feel safe to express their true needs and beliefs.
- Triangulate and Validate: Use multiple perspectives to understand complex situations.
- Ask Questions, Make Connections: Engage with others to explore new opportunities.
- Disrupt Routines: Break habitual patterns to see new possibilities.
- Act As If in the Here and Now: Test new beliefs by acting as if they are true.
- Make Sense with Stories: Use storytelling to communicate and solidify new beliefs.
- Evolve Yourself: Be willing to change yourself to achieve broader change.
What are some of the best quotes from "Liminal Thinking" and what do they mean?
- "Beliefs are models." This quote emphasizes that beliefs are not absolute truths but frameworks we use to navigate reality.
- "The obvious is not obvious." It suggests that what seems self-evident to one person may not be to another, highlighting the subjective nature of beliefs.
- "If you’re part of the system you want to change, you’re part of the problem." This underscores the importance of self-awareness in change efforts.
- "To change the world, you must be willing to change yourself." It highlights the necessity of personal transformation as a precursor to broader change.
How does "Liminal Thinking" address organizational change?
- Shared Beliefs: It discusses how organizations are built on shared beliefs and how changing these can lead to organizational transformation.
- Safe Spaces: Creating environments where employees feel safe to express their needs and ideas is crucial for effective change.
- Story Webs: Organizations are seen as story webs, where the narratives and beliefs of individuals interact to create the organizational culture.
- Leadership Role: Leaders are encouraged to model liminal thinking practices to foster a culture of openness and adaptability.
What is the "Pyramid of Belief" in "Liminal Thinking"?
- Hierarchical Construction: Beliefs are constructed hierarchically, starting from personal experiences and observations.
- Attention and Focus: What we pay attention to shapes our theories and judgments, which in turn form our beliefs.
- Belief as a Model: The pyramid illustrates how beliefs are models that simplify reality to make it manageable.
- Challenge and Change: Understanding the pyramid helps in deconstructing and challenging existing beliefs to create new ones.
How does "Liminal Thinking" suggest we deal with blind spots?
- Acknowledge Limitations: Recognize that beliefs can create blind spots that limit our understanding and opportunities.
- Seek Diverse Perspectives: Actively seek out different viewpoints to uncover and address these blind spots.
- Test Assumptions: Regularly test and question your assumptions to ensure they are not constraining your potential.
- Embrace Uncertainty: Be open to uncertainty and ambiguity as opportunities for growth and learning.
What role do stories play in "Liminal Thinking"?
- Sense-Making Tool: Stories help make sense of experiences and communicate complex ideas in an accessible way.
- Building Connections: Sharing stories fosters connection and understanding between individuals and groups.
- Changing Beliefs: Stories are effective in promoting new beliefs and challenging existing ones.
- Neural Coupling: The book explains how storytelling creates neural coupling, aligning the thoughts and emotions of the storyteller and listener.
How can "Liminal Thinking" help in personal development?
- Self-Reflection: Encourages deep self-reflection to understand and change personal beliefs.
- Growth Mindset: Promotes a mindset open to learning and growth through challenging existing beliefs.
- Empowerment: Provides tools and practices to empower individuals to create positive change in their lives.
- Resilience: Builds resilience by teaching how to navigate uncertainty and embrace change as a constant.
Review Summary
Liminal Thinking receives mostly positive reviews, with readers praising its concise and insightful approach to changing beliefs and perceptions. Many find the book's principles useful for personal growth and problem-solving. Reviewers appreciate Gray's clear writing style and practical examples. Some readers familiar with similar concepts find the content less novel. The book's design and presentation are frequently commended. Critics note that the main message could be summarized more briefly. Overall, readers value the book's encouragement to question assumptions and approach problems with an open mind.
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