Love Walked Among Us

1. Love Begins by Truly Seeing Others

The Lord saw her—not the crowd or the dead son.

Attentive Observation. Love starts with truly seeing the individual, not just the situation or the crowd. Jesus' focus on the widow at Nain, amidst the chaos of two colliding crowds, highlights the importance of attentive observation. It's about pausing, noticing, and absorbing the feelings of another person. This kind of seeing is not passive; it's an active engagement that shapes the heart and opens the door to compassion.

• It's about making eye contact, listening intently, and being present in the moment.
• It's about moving beyond our own agendas and entering into the world of another.
• It's about recognizing the unique humanity of each person, not just seeing them as a problem to be solved.

Cherishing Others. This kind of seeing leads to cherishing others, a combination of noticing and caring for them. It's about making their needs and feelings a priority, even when they are not physically present. It's about moving outside of our own world and into theirs. This is not just about doing things for others, but about being with them, feeling with them, and walking alongside them.

• It's about making their joys and sorrows our own.
• It's about being mindful of their needs and desires.
• It's about valuing them as individuals, not just as objects or problems.

Looking Shapes the Heart. What we focus on shapes our hearts. If we focus on money, our hearts will be shaped by money. If we focus on people, our hearts will be shaped by people. Jesus' life was filled with people, and his heart was shaped by his love for them. Love begins with looking, and looking shapes the heart.

• It's about choosing to see the good in others, not just their flaws.
• It's about seeing them as God sees them, with love and compassion.
• It's about allowing our hearts to be transformed by the people we encounter.

2. Judging Others Blocks Compassion

The disciples see a blind man; Jesus sees a man who happens to be blind.

Categorizing vs. Connecting. Judging others involves placing them into categories, often based on their perceived flaws or shortcomings. This creates distance and prevents us from truly connecting with them as individuals. The disciples asked, "Who sinned?" while Jesus saw a person with a need. Judging is quick and efficient, but it blocks compassion.

• It's about seeing people as problems to be solved, rather than as human beings to be loved.
• It's about analyzing and evaluating, rather than understanding and empathizing.
• It's about creating a safe and tidy world that keeps everything in its place, but it also keeps us from loving.

Opportunity for God's Work. Jesus saw the blind man's blindness not as a punishment, but as an opportunity for God to work in his life. He saw the potential for God's glory to be displayed through the man's suffering. This perspective shifts our focus from judgment to hope.

• It's about seeing brokenness as a door to God's light.
• It's about recognizing that suffering can be a catalyst for growth and transformation.
• It's about believing that God can bring beauty and wholeness out of even the most difficult circumstances.

Compassion vs. Analysis. Compassion is slow and thought-filled, while judging is knee-jerk and quick. By slowing down and entering into another person's world, we can begin to feel compassion. Judging separates and destroys community, while compassion unites and creates community.

• It's about understanding, not evaluating.
• It's about helping, not analyzing.
• It's about uniting, not separating.

3. Self-Righteousness and Legalism Hinder Love

He who has been forgiven little loves little.

Self-Righteousness Blinds. Self-righteousness, the belief that we are better than others, prevents us from seeing our own need for forgiveness and blocks our ability to love. Like Simon the Pharisee, we can become so focused on our own goodness that we are unable to see the goodness in others.

• It's about comparing ourselves to others, rather than to God.
• It's about elevating ourselves, rather than humbling ourselves.
• It's about being blind to our own faults, while being quick to see the faults of others.

Legalism Masks Inner Badness. Legalism, the rigid adherence to rules and rituals, masks inner badness and prevents us from dealing with our true motivations. Like the Pharisees, we can become so focused on outward appearances that we neglect the inner condition of our hearts.

• It's about focusing on the letter of the law, rather than the spirit of the law.
• It's about seeking approval from others, rather than from God.
• It's about creating a system of rules that makes us feel good about ourselves, but that doesn't produce love.

Admitting Our Messiness. The first step toward love is admitting that we are a mess, that we are not as good as we think we are. Like the tax collector, we need to come to the end of ourselves and cry out for God's mercy. When we realize that we don't have it all together, we can care for others because we no longer feel morally superior to them.

• It's about being honest about our own faults and failings.
• It's about recognizing our need for forgiveness and grace.
• It's about making room for God's energy in our lives.

4. Love Requires Both Compassion and Honesty

If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.

Truth in Relationships. Love requires both compassion and honesty. Without honesty, our relationships become weird and unhealthy. We need to be able to speak the truth to one another, even when it is difficult.

• It's about having the courage to confront others when they are wrong.
• It's about being willing to be vulnerable and share our own feelings.
• It's about creating a safe space where we can be honest with one another.

Honesty for Others. Jesus' honesty was always "for" people, not against them. He confronted Simon the Pharisee, not to shame him, but to help him see his need for forgiveness. He rebuked Martha, not to put her down, but to help her find inner rest.

• It's about speaking the truth in love, with the goal of helping others grow.
• It's about being willing to risk our reputation for the sake of truth.
• It's about being more concerned with the well-being of others than with our own comfort.

Freedom from Opinions. Jesus' commitment to truth freed him from the opinions of others. He was not swayed by the praise or criticism of men, but only by the will of his Father. This freedom allowed him to be both compassionate and honest, making his relationships real.

• It's about being anchored in God, not in the opinions of others.
• It's about being more concerned with God's view of us than with the view of others.
• It's about being free to care for others without being controlled by their opinions.

5. Honest Anger Can Be a Compassionate Warning

He looked around at them in anger. Deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts...

Righteous Indignation. Jesus' anger was not self-centered or vengeful, but a righteous indignation at injustice and hypocrisy. He was angry when he saw the Pharisees' callousness toward the man with the withered hand, and when he saw the money changers desecrating the temple.

• It's about being angry at what is wrong, not just at what inconveniences us.
• It's about being angry at injustice, not just at personal slights.
• It's about being angry at anything that prevents love or dependence on God.

Controlled Expression. Jesus' anger was always controlled and directed toward good. He didn't vent or "get things off his chest," but used his anger to act in love. His anger led to healing, to justice, and to a deeper understanding of God.

• It's about expressing anger in a way that is constructive, not destructive.
• It's about using anger to fuel action, not just to vent frustration.
• It's about letting love control our expression of anger.

Disturbing False Peace. Jesus' honest anger disrupted false peace, the kind of peace that is based on injustice and hypocrisy. He was both the true peacemaker and the false-peacebreaker. He was willing to disturb the status quo in order to bring about real change.

• It's about being willing to challenge the systems and structures that perpetuate evil.
• It's about being willing to speak truth to power, even when it is unpopular.
• It's about being willing to disrupt false peace in order to bring about true peace.

6. Sometimes, Love Means Being Quiet

Do not judge and you will not be judged yourselves.

Releasing the Demand for Justice. Sometimes, love means being quiet, releasing the demand for justice, and forgiving those who have wronged us. We don't need to express every thought or criticism. We can handle some things internally.

• It's about recognizing that we are not the ultimate judge.
• It's about trusting that God will bring about justice in his own time.
• It's about letting go of our need to be right and to have the last word.

Specific Honesty. When we do speak, our words should be specific and helpful, not sweeping generalizations that are judgmental and meaningless. Jesus backed up his generalizations about the Pharisees with specific examples, giving them a window through which to see themselves.

• It's about taking the time to articulate exactly what a person has done wrong.
• It's about avoiding sweeping statements that are vague and unhelpful.
• It's about speaking the truth in a way that is both honest and compassionate.

Knowing When to Be Silent. Jesus also knew when to be silent. He didn't force the issue when people rejected his honesty. He gave them space to mull it over. He also warned against throwing pearls to pigs, recognizing that some people are not ready to receive the truth.

• It's about recognizing that some people are not open to our honesty.
• It's about being wise and discerning in our communication.
• It's about knowing when to speak and when to be silent.

7. Love is Fueled by Dependence on God

By myself I can do nothing.

Childlike Trust. At the foundation of Jesus' life was a childlike trust in God, whom he called "Father." He was not controlled by a rulebook, but by a relationship. His choices were shaped by his Father's will, not by his own desires or the opinions of others.

• It's about surrendering our will to God's will.
• It's about trusting that God knows what is best for us.
• It's about living in a constant state of dependence on God.

Freedom from Opinions. Jesus' dependence on his Father freed him from the opinions of others. He didn't need their approval or praise, because he had the love of God in his heart. This freedom allowed him to say "no" to his brothers and "yes" to people in pain.

• It's about being anchored in God, not in the opinions of others.
• It's about being more concerned with God's view of us than with the view of others.
• It's about being free to care for others without being controlled by their opinions.

Prayer and Scripture. Jesus was devoted to prayer and to the study of Scripture. Through prayer, he asked God what he should do. Through Scripture, he learned about his Father's will. These were the sources of his strength and wisdom.

• It's about having a personal conversation with the Creator.
• It's about surrendering our will to God's will.
• It's about allowing God's words to shape our lives.

8. Love Requires Saying "No" to Self

Nothing outside a man can make him ‘unclean’ by going into him. Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him ‘unclean’.

Selfishness Pollutes Love. Selfishness, the desire to have our own way, pollutes love. It makes us manipulative and controlling, using others to satisfy our own needs. It prevents us from seeing others clearly and from loving them as they are.

• It's about recognizing that our own desires can be a source of evil.
• It's about being honest about our own motivations.
• It's about choosing to serve others, rather than to be served.

Saying "No" to Self. To love purely, we must say "no" to self-gratification and "yes" to God. This means surrendering our own desires and agendas, and allowing God to shape our lives. It means choosing to serve others, even when it is difficult.

• It's about recognizing that our own will is not always the best will.
• It's about choosing to follow God's will, even when it is difficult.
• It's about allowing God to be the center of our lives, not ourselves.

Freedom to Love. When we say "no" to self and "yes" to God, our love is pure. We are no longer controlled by our own desires or the opinions of others. We are free to love others as God loves us, with a selfless and unconditional love.

• It's about being free from the need to control others.
• It's about being free from the need to be right.
• It's about being free to love others without any strings attached.

9. Love Intentionally Moves Toward Others

For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost.

Gentle Intrusion. Love doesn't leave people alone in their suffering or selfishness. It moves toward them, even if that means confrontation. Like Jesus, we must be willing to gently intrude into the lives of others, breaking through our natural reserves.

• It's about being willing to step outside of our comfort zone.
• It's about being willing to risk rejection for the sake of love.
• It's about being willing to be vulnerable and to share our own lives with others.

Touch as an Intrusion. Jesus often used touch as an intrusion of love. He touched the blind, the deaf, and the lame when he healed them. He touched lepers, even though they were considered unclean. He moved toward people that others pulled away from.

• It's about being willing to get close to people, even when it is messy.
• It's about being willing to be vulnerable and to share our own lives with others.
• It's about recognizing that touch can be a powerful way to communicate love and compassion.

Selfless Openness. Love is not about being in control, but about being open to the needs of others. Like Jesus, we must be willing to let others interrupt our schedules and tap into our resources. We must be willing to be inconvenienced for the sake of love.

• It's about being willing to give up our own agendas for the sake of others.
• It's about being willing to be interrupted and to have our plans changed.
• It's about being willing to be a servant, rather than a master.

10. Love is a Journey Through Suffering to Oneness

Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.

Love and Suffering. Love is not a safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. It means opening ourselves up to the possibility of being hurt, rejected, and betrayed. Jesus' life was a journey through suffering, and his love was most fully expressed in his death.

• It's about recognizing that love is not always easy or comfortable.
• It's about being willing to endure pain for the sake of others.
• It's about understanding that suffering can be a pathway to deeper love.

The Ultimate Exchange. Jesus' death was the ultimate exchange of love. He took our sin upon himself so that we could receive his righteousness. He took our brokenness so that we could be healed. He gave his life as a ransom for many.

• It's about recognizing that we are not worthy of God's love.
• It's about accepting that we need a savior to rescue us from our sin.
• It's about understanding that Jesus' death was the ultimate act of love.

Oneness with God and Others. The goal of Jesus' love is oneness, a state of pure and constant compassion devoid of selfishness. It's about being united with God and with one another, in a relationship of mutual love and respect.

• It's about being in a relationship with God, where we are fully known and fully loved.
• It's about being in a relationship with others, where we are united in love and purpose.
• It's about experiencing the joy of being part of a community of love.

Last updated: January 26, 2025