Madam Ambassador

1. Becoming a US Ambassador: A Rigorous and Rewarding Journey

It took ten months, two countries, a lot of hard work, and many sleepless nights. But never, not for one moment, do I look back and think it wasn’t worth it.

The path is demanding. Becoming a politically appointed U.S. ambassador involves a multi-layered vetting process by the State Department, the White House Ethics Office, and confirmation by the U.S. Senate. This includes extensive background checks, financial disclosures, and interviews probing personal and professional history. The process is designed to ensure nominees are ethical, capable, and free from potential compromise.

Training prepares, but experience teaches. Nominees attend intensive "charm school" seminars and receive specialized briefings on their assigned country and foreign policy priorities. While this training provides essential knowledge and skills, the realities of managing an embassy and navigating complex diplomatic situations often require on-the-job learning and adaptability. The author's unexpected shift from Singapore to Hungary highlights the unpredictable nature of the appointment process.

The honor outweighs the difficulty. Despite the grueling vetting, the uncertainty, and the steep learning curve, serving as a U.S. ambassador is presented as a profound honor. It offers a unique opportunity to represent one's country, advance national interests, and gain invaluable experience in international relations and leadership. The personal satisfaction derived from public service is a recurring theme.

2. Representing America: Speaking for the Nation

To this day, when the ambassador speaks, he or she speaks not just for his or her country but also as that country.

The ambassador is the President's envoy. As Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary, the author served as President Obama's personal representative in Hungary, holding the highest diplomatic rank. This role involves maintaining open lines of communication with the host government and acting as the primary voice of the United States. Every public statement and official action carries the weight of the nation.

Leading the mission. Beyond representing the President, the ambassador is the chief of mission, overseeing the entire embassy operation, including hundreds of employees across various sections like political, economic, consular, and defense. This requires strong management and leadership skills, often drawing on experience from outside the Foreign Service. The author's business background proved useful in managing embassy real estate projects.

Navigating protocol and expectations. Diplomacy involves strict protocols and expectations, from formal meetings and seating arrangements to public appearances and interactions. Political appointees must quickly adapt to this structured environment while leveraging their unique perspectives. The author's early experiences, like being saluted by Marines or navigating formal meetings, highlight this adjustment.

3. Hungary's History: A Complex Tapestry of Triumph and Tragedy

The Hungarians have a famous saying that they often use to describe their complicated history. They are apt to describe a situation by saying “one eye is smiling, and one eye is crying.”

A long and often difficult past. Hungarian history is marked by periods of greatness, such as the Golden Age of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, interspersed with devastating invasions, occupations, and territorial losses. Key historical traumas include:

• The Mongol invasion in the 13th century
• Ottoman rule starting in the 16th century
• Hapsburg domination for centuries
• The devastating Treaty of Trianon after WWI, losing two-thirds of its territory
• Being on the losing side of WWI and WWII
• Decades of Soviet control under the Iron Curtain

History remains present. Unlike in the United States, where history often feels distant, in Hungary, the past deeply influences the present. Historical grievances, national narratives (like the Curse of Turán), and collective memories of suffering and victimhood continue to shape political discourse and national identity. Understanding this historical context is crucial for effective diplomacy.

Post-communism challenges. While Hungary made significant strides after 1989, joining NATO and the EU, the transition was not without pain. Economic hardship, corruption, and unresolved historical issues contributed to public discontent and a sense that the democratic transition had not delivered on all its promises, setting the stage for future political shifts.

4. Navigating the Orbán Era: Power, Reform, and Unpredictability

But by now, I had begun to realize that when it came to Viktor Orbán, nothing would be simple or easy.

A landslide victory and supermajority. Viktor Orbán's Fidesz party won a two-thirds supermajority in the 2010 elections, granting them unprecedented power to rewrite laws and the constitution without opposition support. This victory was fueled by public discontent with the previous Socialist government and the economic crisis.

Rapid, "unorthodox" reforms. The Orbán government quickly embarked on a sweeping reform process, enacting hundreds of new laws and a new constitution at a rapid pace, often with limited public debate or input. These reforms included:

• A controversial media law
• "Unorthodox" economic measures like special taxes on banks and foreign companies
• Significant changes to the judiciary, electoral system, and religious laws

Concentration of power. Critics, including the U.S. Embassy, raised concerns that these reforms were concentrating power in the hands of the executive and weakening democratic checks and balances, such as the independence of the judiciary and the press. The government defended its actions as necessary to fix past corruption and assert national sovereignty against foreign influence.

5. The EU Presidency: A Moment Overshadowed by Domestic Reforms

On January 1, Hungary took over the presidency of the European Union, with all the pomp and grandeur of its imperial past. And on January 2, all hell broke loose.

A historic opportunity. Hungary's first presidency of the European Union in the first half of 2011 was a proud moment, signaling its full integration into the Western democratic community. It provided a platform to highlight Hungarian priorities and demonstrate its capacity for leadership on the European stage.

Immediate controversy. The new media law came into effect on the second day of the presidency, immediately drawing fierce criticism from across Europe and overshadowing Hungary's leadership role. This set the tone for a presidency marked by international scrutiny and debate over the direction of Hungarian democracy.

Highlighting shared values. The U.S. Embassy used the occasion of the EU presidency and related events, such as the Reagan centennial and the Lantos Institute opening, to reinforce the importance of shared democratic values and institutions with Hungary and its European partners. High-level visits, including by Secretary Clinton, aimed to engage the Hungarian government on its reform process, albeit with mixed results and diplomatic challenges.

6. Balancing Family Life and Demanding Public Service

But far more important than anything else, Alexa’s presence with us provided the boys with abundant love and familiarity, and I instinctively knew how critical that was.

Public role, private challenges. The life of an ambassador is demanding, requiring constant public engagement, travel, and long hours. Balancing this with family life, especially with young children, presents significant challenges. The author's husband, Markos, took on a greater role in childcare and managing the household, adapting his own career to support the mission.

Creating a home abroad. The ambassador's residence, while grand, required significant effort to transform into a comfortable family home and a welcoming space for official entertaining. Support from extended family, like the author's sister and stepmother, and dedicated embassy staff was crucial in providing stability and a sense of normalcy for the children.

Children adapt and learn. The author's sons, Neo and Eon, navigated the transition to life in Budapest, attending international school and even a local Chinese school on weekends. Their experiences exposed them to new cultures, languages, and the unique environment of an embassy family, including the presence of security and the public nature of their parents' roles.

7. The Critical Role of Civil Society in a Functioning Democracy

Ultimately, citizens in their own countries have to do it for themselves.

The three-legged stool. A healthy democracy relies on three pillars: a democratic government, a free-market economy, and a robust civil society. Civil society, encompassing NGOs, religious institutions, community groups, and individual citizens' actions, is essential for holding government and business accountable and embedding democratic values in everyday life.

Weakness after communism. Decades of totalitarian rule in Hungary suppressed civil society, leaving it weakened after 1989. Citizens were conditioned to fear speaking out and lacked experience in grassroots organizing and advocacy. This made it harder for them to effectively push back against government actions they disagreed with.

Empowering citizens. The U.S. Embassy recognized the importance of supporting Hungarian civil society, even as the government's reforms progressed. This involved meeting with civil society leaders, providing training (like the "Campaign Boot Camp"), and highlighting examples of active citizenship. The goal was to empower Hungarians to advocate for their interests and strengthen democratic participation from the ground up.

8. Confronting Anti-Semitism and Shaping Historical Narratives

The problem in Hungary, I realized, wasn’t just the rise of anti-Semitic, neofascist voices and acts. Hungarian society at large was responding to those radical voices with disproportionate silence and apathy.

A resurgence of hate. During the author's tenure, Hungary saw a troubling rise in anti-Semitism and far-right extremism, fueled by economic hardship and nationalist rhetoric. This included hateful speech by political figures and desecration of Jewish sites. The Jobbik party, with its anti-Semitic and anti-Roma platform, gained significant political traction.

Unresolved historical trauma. Unlike Germany, Hungary has not fully confronted its role in the Holocaust, where Hungarian officials actively participated in the deportation and murder of hundreds of thousands of its Jewish citizens. This lack of national reckoning contributes to a climate where anti-Semitism can re-emerge and historical narratives can be distorted.

Distorting history. The Orbán government's efforts to promote a new national narrative often downplayed Hungary's complicity in the Holocaust, portraying the country solely as a victim of foreign powers (like Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union). This narrative, while appealing to nationalist sentiment, hindered an honest reckoning with the past and complicated efforts to combat contemporary anti-Semitism.

9. Security Overseas: Constant Vigilance and Personal Responsibility

My safety was ultimately in my own hands.

Layers of protection. Embassy security involves multiple layers, including Marine guards, local security personnel, physical barriers, and sophisticated surveillance. While the host government is officially responsible for the ambassador's personal security, the U.S. Diplomatic Security service provides training and oversight.

Situational awareness is key. Foreign Service officers are trained in "situational awareness" to constantly monitor their surroundings and identify potential threats. This includes varying routes, avoiding predictable patterns, and being prepared to react in emergencies.

Balancing security and engagement. Ambassadors must balance security precautions with the need to engage with the local population and move freely within the host country. The level of security varies by post, and even in relatively safe locations like Budapest, unexpected threats (like unexploded WWII bombs) can emerge, requiring swift and decisive action. The Benghazi attack heightened security awareness across all posts.

10. The Enduring Strength of American Diplomacy and Values

America, despite all of her faults and folly, all of her tragic mistakes, is still the largest force for the advancement of freedom and democracy, the most powerful force for good, that exists in the world.

Advocating for universal values. U.S. diplomacy, regardless of the administration, consistently advocates for democratic principles, human rights, tolerance, and the rule of law around the world. This is seen as essential not only for promoting American values but also for enhancing global stability and security.

Partnerships and alliances. The United States works through alliances like NATO and institutions like the EU to address shared challenges, from security threats in Afghanistan to economic crises and the promotion of democratic norms. Bilateral relationships, like the one with Hungary, are crucial for advancing these broader goals.

The power of engagement. Despite political disagreements or challenges in host countries, the U.S. remains committed to engagement. This involves maintaining open lines of communication, offering expertise, supporting civil society, and using diplomatic tools to encourage positive change. The author's experience in Hungary, navigating complex political terrain while striving to strengthen the relationship, exemplifies this commitment.

Last updated: May 21, 2025