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1. Masculinity is a fluid, ever-changing construct shaped by society

Manhood, much like masculinity, is not a fixed entity. It is not a square block that fits neatly into a square shaped hole in a square shaped world. It is ever changing, it is fluid, and more importantly, it is and can be anything you want it to be.

Myths of masculinity perpetuate harmful stereotypes and expectations for men. These include:

• The "real man" fallacy
• The idea that "men are trash"
• The "nice guy/good guy" entitlement
• Phrases like "man up" and "that's gay"
• Beliefs that men don't cry or are always stronger than women

Historical and cultural context reveals that masculinity has varied greatly across time and place:

• Pre-colonial societies often had more fluid gender roles
• Many cultures recognized multiple genders
• Colonialism imposed rigid Western gender norms on other societies

By understanding masculinity as a social construct, we can challenge harmful stereotypes and embrace more inclusive definitions of manhood.

2. Male violence and aggression stem from societal expectations and mental health issues

Male violence and aggression has a profound impact on our lives, the lives of our loved ones, and the lives of people we don't know.

Socialization into violence begins early for many boys:

• Toys and games that glorify aggression
• Pressure to be physically dominant
• Lack of emotional outlets and support

Mental health crisis among men:

• Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 45
• Depression and anxiety often go undiagnosed
• Stigma prevents many men from seeking help

Addressing male violence requires tackling root causes like toxic masculinity norms, providing better mental health support, and creating safe spaces for men to express vulnerability and process emotions.

3. Love, sex, and consent are complex issues influenced by patriarchal norms

Rape culture is not about every single man going out and committing a terrible sexual assault, it's about how men in this world are complicit in allowing other men to commit these crimes.

Harmful beliefs about sex perpetuated by patriarchy:

• Sex as transactional or negotiable
• Double standards for male and female sexuality
• Myths about male entitlement to women's bodies

Consent education is crucial:

• Teaching that absence of "no" doesn't mean "yes"
• Recognizing power dynamics in sexual situations
• Addressing rape culture and victim-blaming

Redefining healthy masculinity requires dismantling harmful sexual norms, promoting enthusiastic consent, and fostering respect for all genders in intimate relationships.

4. Politics and power dynamics reinforce harmful masculine ideals

Political power is patriarchal, and patriarchal power is political.

Masculine power in politics:

• Majority of world leaders are men
• Aggressive, domineering leadership styles celebrated
• War and conflict seen as "masculine" solutions

Rise of extremism linked to threatened masculinity:

• "Aggrieved entitlement" fueling radical movements
• Online radicalization of young men
• Political violence as attempt to reassert masculinity

Challenging patriarchal power structures in politics is essential for creating a more equitable society and redefining leadership beyond harmful masculine stereotypes.

5. Feminism benefits both men and women by challenging restrictive gender roles

Feminism includes you. And when I see guys, particularly young guys, attacking feminism, do you know what it looks like to me? It looks like when the Fire Brigade go to a really rough housing estate, and they get stoned. That's what you're doing, you're stoning the fucking rescue services.

Misconceptions about feminism:

• Belief that it's anti-male
• Fear of losing male privilege
• Lack of understanding of systemic oppression

Ways feminism helps men:

• Challenges toxic masculinity norms
• Advocates for mental health support
• Fights for equality in parenting and caregiving roles

By embracing feminist ideals, men can free themselves from restrictive gender roles and work towards a more just and equitable society for all.

6. Intersectionality reveals diverse experiences of masculinity across race, class, and sexuality

Men are different from women, but men are also different from men.

Axes of oppression affect men differently:

• Race: Black and minority men face unique challenges and stereotypes
• Class: Working-class masculinity often stereotyped as more toxic
• Sexuality: LGBTQ+ men navigate complex expectations and discrimination

Examples of intersectional experiences:

• Black men criminalized and hypersexualized in media
• Working-class men pressured to prove masculinity through physical labor
• Gay men challenging traditional notions of masculinity through relationships

Recognizing intersectionality allows for a more nuanced understanding of masculinity and the development of inclusive solutions to gender-based issues.

7. Social media amplifies both toxic and progressive forms of masculinity

Social media and social networking platforms have allowed our generation to create external representations of our idealised internal identities and lives.

Negative impacts of social media on masculinity:

• Body image issues from unrealistic standards
• Online misogyny and harassment
• Pressure to perform hyper-masculine personas

Positive potential for change:

• Platforms for diverse masculine representation
• Communities challenging toxic norms
• Increased visibility for marginalized voices

Social media can be a powerful tool for redefining masculinity, but it requires active engagement in promoting healthy ideals and challenging harmful content.

8. Sports can both reinforce and challenge traditional notions of masculinity

Contact sports like rugby need to be recognised for what they are: ritualised and repetitive displays of hypermasculinity, staged by men for men.

Problematic aspects of sports culture:

• Glorification of aggression and violence
• Homophobia and exclusion of LGBTQ+ athletes
• Link between sporting events and domestic violence

Positive potential of sports:

• Male bonding and emotional expression
• Platform for addressing mental health
• Diverse representations of masculinity

By promoting inclusivity, addressing toxic behaviors, and celebrating emotional vulnerability in sports, we can harness their power to redefine healthy masculinity.

9. Embracing vulnerability and emotional expression is key to redefining healthy masculinity

I was an emotionally expressive boy, and many of the boys in my primary school were too. But by the time I had reached secondary school, I was claiming that love was something I wasn't interested in, that I had no emotions, that it was for boys who were soft – somewhere along the line I had transitioned into a man with a hard exterior, as did many of the boys I grew up with.

Barriers to male vulnerability:

• Societal pressure to be "strong" and stoic
• Lack of emotional education for boys
• Fear of appearing weak or feminine

Benefits of emotional literacy:

• Improved mental health and well-being
• Stronger, more authentic relationships
• Breaking cycles of violence and aggression

Encouraging men to embrace their full range of emotions and express vulnerability is crucial for personal growth and societal progress towards healthier forms of masculinity.

Last updated: November 17, 2024