My Effin' Life

1. A Name, An Identity, and the Weight of History

I’m not sure which freaked me out more: my sudden loss of identity or the fact that my own mother couldn’t remember my effin’ name.

Multiple names, shifting identities. Born Gershon Eliezer Weinrib, named after his murdered grandfather, the author's identity was fluid from the start. Anglification at customs turned his parents into Morris and Mary, and him into Gary Lorne Weinrib, a name his mother later misremembered as Gary Lee Weinrib, adding to the confusion.
The nickname sticks. His friend Burd started calling him "Geddy" because of his mother's accent, a name that stuck and became his professional moniker. This nickname, combined with his rediscovered middle name "Lee," formed "Geddy Lee," a deliberate choice to create a less ethnic, more "rock and roll" identity, eventually leading to a legal name change.
Assimilation and self-creation. The journey through multiple names reflects a desire to assimilate into Canadian society and the music world, moving away from a name tied to trauma and immigrant status. This process of shedding old skins and actively choosing a new identity was a significant early step in defining himself.

2. The Enduring Shadow of Survival and Loss

After all, if it wasn’t for what happened to them then, I wouldn’t be here to tell you my tale now and I wouldn’t be the person who I am.

Parents' harrowing past. His parents, Moishe and Manya, were Holocaust survivors from Poland, enduring ghettos, slave labor camps (Starachowice), and death camps (Auschwitz, Bergen-Belsen). Their survival was miraculous, marked by constant selections, brutality, starvation, disease (typhus), and the loss of almost their entire families.
Trauma's ripple effect. The trauma deeply affected his parents, particularly his mother, who never fully recovered from the loss of her husband and family. His father, Morris, died at 45 from heart damage likely sustained during slave labor, leaving the author fatherless at 12.
Impact on childhood. Growing up hearing these stories instilled anger, doubt about faith, and a sense of being "collateral damage" in the face of their immense suffering. The year of mourning after his father's death, governed by strict Jewish rules, further isolated him and highlighted the family's focus on their own grief over his.

3. Music as the Escape, the Calling, and the Self

Clearly, music meant everything to me, and despite my supposed lack of confidence I instinctively knew that I had to take control of my own destiny, if only hoping that success would be a kind of revenge.

Finding solace and direction. Music was not prominent in his childhood home, but after his father's death and the isolating year of mourning, it became an obsession and an escape. He eagerly bought records, learned guitar by ear, and was drawn to the bass, finding it a natural fit.
Acceptance and ambition. Playing music offered a path to peer acceptance and attention from girls, motivating him to practice relentlessly. Seeing local bands and visiting music stores fueled his dream of being a professional musician and escaping his suburban life.
Defiance and self-determination. Quitting high school to pursue music full-time was a defiant act against his mother's wishes, but a resolute step towards controlling his own destiny. This early decision, fueled by passion and a desire to prove himself, set the stage for his future career.

4. Forging a Band, Facing Betrayal, Finding a Partner

Whatever blow to the ego I may have sustained was behind me, and I won’t deny that there’s something sweet to savour in your ex-bandmates admitting they made a mistake and confessing they need you more than you need them.

Meeting Alex Lifeson. A mutual friend introduced him to Alex Živojinović (later Lifeson), sparking an immediate bond over shared musical tastes (Cream, Zeppelin) and a desire to play hard rock. They became inseparable, jamming and exploring music together.
Early band dynamics and betrayal. The band Rush formed with drummer John Rutsey, but early on, the author was deceitfully kicked out at the manager's and Rutsey's behest, who wanted a "hipper" image. This betrayal was hurtful but spurred him to form his own band.
Rejoining and finding the missing piece. After Rush struggled with a replacement bassist, Rutsey asked him back. Despite the hurt, he rejoined, valuing the musical connection with Alex. Rutsey's eventual departure due to musical differences and health issues paved the way for the pivotal audition and immediate connection with Neil Peart, completing the classic trio.

5. The Relentless Grind and Growth of the Road

Good to be young and resilient, but even better if you have a supply of pot to tide you over on the interstate!

Learning the ropes on tour. The early years were a constant grind of playing small clubs and opening for bigger bands across North America. This meant:

• Endless driving in cramped cars/vans
• Sleeping on luggage or cheap motel floors
• Playing short, often poorly received sets
• Dealing with difficult promoters and venues
• Living on meager stipends
  Developing resilience and stagecraft. Enduring challenging gigs, hostile audiences, and technical issues built character and a thicker skin. They learned to adapt to different venues, sound systems, and crowd dynamics, honing their performance skills under pressure.
  The show evolves. Inspired by bands like KISS and the theatricality of prog acts, they began incorporating visual elements, lighting, and eventually props into their show. This focus on the live experience became a defining characteristic, pushing them beyond just playing the music.

6. Pushing Boundaries: Prog, Concepts, and Criticism

If you have three bands influencing you, you’re derivative; if you have a hundred, you’re original!

Embracing complexity. Influenced by prog rock bands like Yes, Genesis, and King Crimson, Rush deliberately moved towards longer, more complex songs and concept albums (Caress of Steel, 2112, Hemispheres). This was a conscious decision to challenge themselves and create unique music.
Defiance against pressure. Despite pressure from management and the record company to be more commercial, they doubled down on their progressive direction, particularly with 2112. This defiance, partly inspired by Ayn Rand, became a core principle: prioritizing artistic vision over market demands.
Navigating criticism. Their complex music and high-pitched vocals often drew harsh criticism ("pretentious," "damned howling in Hades"). While some reviews stung, they largely dismissed ill-informed critiques and focused on their own standards and the growing connection with their dedicated fanbase.

7. Navigating the Perils of Fame, Drugs, and Relationships

It’s an unpleasant fact that few musicians, myself included, are prepared to give up their gig to raise a family.

Strain on personal life. The relentless touring schedule put immense pressure on personal relationships, particularly his marriage to Nancy. Long absences, the difficulty of transitioning between road and home life, and differing priorities created significant strain.
Experimentation with substances. The boredom, fatigue, and pressures of touring led to experimentation with drugs, including acid, hash, and cocaine. While initially seen as a way to cope or enhance the experience, drug use became problematic, impacting health, performance, and judgment, leading to dangerous situations.
Seeking balance and maturity. Recognizing the negative impact of substance abuse and the strain on his marriage, he eventually sought change. Marriage counseling helped address underlying issues and communication breakdowns, leading to a greater understanding of the compromises required to balance a demanding career with family life.

8. Tragedy, Hiatus, and the Slow Path Back

Those of us looking in from the outside were utterly incredulous—“appalled” is the word—that one man’s world could be so completely and mercilessly blown to pieces.

Unimaginable loss. In 1997, Neil Peart's daughter, Selena, was killed in a car accident. Just ten months later, his wife, Jackie, died of cancer, which Neil believed was brought on by grief. This double tragedy devastated Neil and profoundly impacted the band.
Indefinite hiatus. The band went on an immediate and indefinite hiatus as Neil retreated to grieve, traveling alone on his motorcycle across North America to process his pain. There was no certainty Rush would ever play together again.
Slow return and solo work. During this period, the author pursued a solo album, "My Favourite Headache," partly as a creative outlet and a way to cope with the loss and uncertainty. This project allowed him to explore different musical ideas and collaborations while waiting for Neil's potential return.

9. Reunion, Reinvention, and the Joy of the Later Years

He sounded like a completely changed man.

A second chance at life and love. Neil eventually began a slow process of healing, finding love again with Carrie, whom he married. This new relationship brought stability and happiness, leading him to consider returning to music.
The spark rekindled. Neil's decision to return to drumming, initially just for himself, signaled a potential reunion. His report of finding joy in playing again, despite the pain, was a crucial step towards Rush 2.0.
Cautious but optimistic return. The band reunited with a new perspective, prioritizing a balanced schedule to accommodate Neil's family life. The recording of "Vapor Trails" was challenging but marked their return, leading to a triumphant tour that reconnected them with their fanbase and brought renewed energy.

10. The Final Bow and the Enduring Partnership

And it was over.

Later creative period. The later albums (Vapor Trails, Snakes & Arrows, Clockwork Angels) saw the band continue to evolve, incorporating new influences and production techniques. They embraced collaboration with producers and arrangers, pushing their sound while maintaining their core identity.
The R40 retrospective. The R40 tour was conceived as a theatrical retrospective, moving backward through their career visually and musically. This tour celebrated their long history and allowed them to connect with generations of fans who had supported them.
Health, finality, and legacy. Health issues, particularly Alex's arthritis and Neil's physical ailments, contributed to the decision to end touring. The final show in Los Angeles in 2015 was an emotional culmination of over 40 years together, marking the end of their touring career but solidifying the legacy of their unique partnership and music.

Last updated: June 8, 2025