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My Voice Will Go with You

My Voice Will Go with You

The Teaching Tales of Milton H. Erickson
by Sidney Rosen 1982 256 pages
4.27
1k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Trust the Unconscious Mind: It Holds Vast Resources

"What you don't realize, Sid, is that most of your life is unconsciously determined."

Vast untapped potential. The unconscious mind is a repository of memories, skills, and knowledge that can be called upon even after many years. It continually absorbs and processes information, influencing our thoughts, behaviors, and decisions without our conscious awareness.

Accessing unconscious resources. Erickson believed that by tapping into the unconscious, individuals could overcome limitations and solve problems more effectively. He developed techniques to help patients access their unconscious resources, such as using hypnosis, storytelling, and indirect suggestion. These methods aimed to bypass conscious resistance and activate the innate problem-solving abilities of the unconscious mind.

Trusting the process. Erickson encouraged both therapists and patients to trust the unconscious mind's ability to generate solutions and facilitate change. This approach often led to surprising insights and breakthroughs that couldn't be achieved through conscious effort alone.

2. Reframe Situations to Change Perspectives and Behaviors

"To reframe means to change the conceptual and/or emotional setting or viewpoint in relation to which a situation is experienced and to place it in another frame which fits the 'facts' of the same concrete situation equally well, or even better, and thereby changes its entire meaning."

Shifting perspectives. Reframing involves looking at a situation from a different angle, often leading to new insights and possibilities. By changing the context or meaning of an experience, individuals can alter their emotional responses and behaviors.

Therapeutic applications. Erickson used reframing extensively in therapy to help patients overcome phobias, change negative self-perceptions, and find new solutions to longstanding problems. For example:

  • Turning a perceived weakness into a strength
  • Finding positive intentions behind problematic behaviors
  • Reinterpreting past events in a more empowering light

Cognitive flexibility. The ability to reframe situations promotes cognitive flexibility and resilience, enabling individuals to adapt more effectively to life's challenges and find creative solutions to problems.

3. Use Indirect Suggestion for Effective Communication

"Hypnosis is best accomplished by thinking about certain phenomena."

Bypassing resistance. Indirect suggestion involves communicating ideas or instructions in a subtle, non-confrontational manner. This approach allows the message to bypass conscious resistance and be more readily accepted by the unconscious mind.

Techniques for indirect suggestion:

  • Storytelling and metaphors
  • Embedded commands
  • Presuppositions
  • Double binds
  • Conversational postulates

Therapeutic applications. Erickson used indirect suggestion to:

  • Induce trance states
  • Implant therapeutic ideas
  • Encourage behavioral changes
  • Stimulate unconscious problem-solving

By avoiding direct commands, therapists can help patients discover solutions on their own, leading to more lasting and meaningful changes.

4. Learn Through Experience and Observation

"Learning by experience is much more educational than learning consciously."

Experiential learning. Erickson emphasized the importance of learning through direct experience rather than solely through intellectual understanding. He believed that hands-on experiences create deeper, more lasting impressions and lead to more effective learning.

Observational skills. Developing keen observational skills was a cornerstone of Erickson's approach. He encouraged therapists and patients alike to:

  • Pay attention to subtle cues in behavior and communication
  • Notice patterns and distinctions in everyday experiences
  • Learn from the natural world and human interactions

Applications in therapy. Erickson often created experiential learning opportunities for his patients, such as:

  • Assigning tasks or "homework" to practice new behaviors
  • Using hypnosis to simulate experiences
  • Encouraging patients to observe and experiment with their own reactions and behaviors

By emphasizing experiential and observational learning, Erickson helped individuals develop greater self-awareness and more effective problem-solving skills.

5. Overcome Habitual Limitations Through Small Changes

"So much of our learning is based upon limited instructions that bar us from our own development of our understanding—and we get into patterns of being limited."

Breaking patterns. Erickson recognized that many people are held back by habitual patterns of thought and behavior. He developed strategies to help individuals break free from these limitations and expand their possibilities.

Incremental change. Rather than attempting dramatic transformations, Erickson advocated for small, manageable changes that could lead to larger shifts over time. This approach includes:

  • Setting achievable goals
  • Focusing on one change at a time
  • Building on small successes

Challenging assumptions. Erickson encouraged people to question their assumptions about their own capabilities and limitations. By doing so, individuals could discover untapped potential and overcome self-imposed barriers.

Examples of overcoming limitations:

  • Athletes breaking through perceived performance ceilings
  • Phobic patients gradually facing their fears
  • Individuals developing new skills they thought were beyond their abilities

6. Utilize Manipulation Positively to Achieve Therapeutic Goals

"Every mother manipulates her baby—if she wants it to live. And every time you go to the store you manipulate the clerk to do your bidding."

Positive manipulation. Erickson viewed manipulation as a natural and necessary part of human interaction. In therapy, he used manipulation strategically to guide patients towards positive outcomes.

Ethical considerations. While manipulation can be controversial, Erickson emphasized its use for benevolent purposes. The goal was always to help patients overcome obstacles and achieve their therapeutic objectives.

Techniques for positive manipulation:

  • Creating situations that encourage desired behaviors
  • Using surprise or confusion to break habitual patterns
  • Leveraging social dynamics to motivate change
  • Structuring choices to promote therapeutic outcomes

Applications in therapy. Erickson's manipulative techniques were often subtle and tailored to each patient's unique situation. Examples include:

  • Assigning seemingly unrelated tasks that indirectly address the patient's issue
  • Using interpersonal dynamics to motivate change
  • Creating controlled experiences to challenge limiting beliefs

7. Orient Towards the Future to Promote Growth and Healing

"I think it's wonderful that human beings have stomachs without brains and yet have enough intelligence to say, 'Get rid of this rubbish, in the quickest route possible.'"

Future focus. Erickson emphasized the importance of orienting patients towards the future rather than dwelling on past problems. This approach promotes hope, motivation, and a sense of possibility.

Goal-setting. By helping patients envision and work towards future goals, Erickson encouraged:

  • Positive expectancy
  • Proactive problem-solving
  • Personal growth and development

Techniques for future orientation:

  • Encouraging patients to imagine positive future scenarios
  • Setting specific, achievable goals
  • Using hypnosis to "rehearse" future successes
  • Reframing past experiences in light of future possibilities

Therapeutic benefits. A future-oriented approach can help patients:

  • Overcome depression and hopelessness
  • Develop resilience and adaptability
  • Find motivation for change
  • Create a sense of purpose and direction

8. Capture the "Innocent Eye" to See Things Anew

"Watch little children. My youngest daughter went through college in three years, got a master's in her fourth year of college, and completed medical school in two years and nine months. When she was very young she would draw pictures and she'd remark as she was drawing: 'Drawing this picture is hard. I hope I get it done so I'll know what I'm drawing.'"

Cultivating curiosity. Erickson encouraged both therapists and patients to approach situations with fresh eyes, much like a child encountering something for the first time. This "innocent eye" allows for new perspectives and insights.

Breaking habitual perceptions. By consciously setting aside preconceptions and learned responses, individuals can:

  • Notice details they might otherwise overlook
  • Discover new possibilities and solutions
  • Approach problems with greater creativity

Techniques for fostering the "innocent eye":

  • Mindfulness practices
  • Engaging in unfamiliar activities
  • Deliberately changing routines or viewpoints
  • Using hypnosis to access childlike states of wonder and openness

Applications in therapy. The "innocent eye" approach can help patients:

  • Break free from limiting beliefs and assumptions
  • Rediscover joy and curiosity in life
  • Find novel solutions to longstanding problems
  • Develop greater flexibility and adaptability

9. Notice Distinctions to Enhance Observational Skills

"When you listen to people talk, listen to all the possibilities. Be comprehensive and unrestrictive in your thinking and don't just try to apply the third line, the fourth page of Carl Rogers's book, to any patient. Think comprehensively."

Sharpening perception. Erickson emphasized the importance of noticing subtle distinctions in behavior, communication, and the environment. This skill is crucial for effective therapy and personal growth.

Developing observational skills:

  • Pay attention to non-verbal cues
  • Listen for tonal variations and word choice
  • Notice patterns and inconsistencies
  • Observe changes over time

Applications in therapy:

  • Identifying unconscious communication
  • Recognizing signs of trance or suggestibility
  • Detecting underlying issues or motivations
  • Tailoring interventions to individual patients

Benefits of enhanced observation:

  • Improved communication and empathy
  • More accurate assessment of situations
  • Ability to detect and utilize subtle cues for change
  • Greater awareness of one's own patterns and behaviors

10. Treat Psychotic Patients by Meeting Them in Their Reality

"Join the patient."

Empathetic approach. Erickson advocated for meeting psychotic patients in their own reality rather than trying to force them into the therapist's perspective. This approach builds trust and opens channels for communication and change.

Techniques for joining the patient:

  • Using the patient's language and metaphors
  • Accepting and working within the patient's belief system
  • Gradually introducing alternative perspectives

Therapeutic applications:

  • Building rapport with resistant or delusional patients
  • Creating opportunities for reality testing
  • Gently guiding patients towards more functional beliefs and behaviors

Benefits of this approach:

  • Reduced resistance and increased cooperation
  • Greater therapeutic alliance
  • More effective communication of therapeutic ideas
  • Gradual reintegration of the patient into shared reality

Last updated:

FAQ

What's My Voice Will Go with You about?

  • Teaching Tales of Therapy: The book is a collection of stories by Milton H. Erickson, showcasing his unique therapeutic techniques and insights into the unconscious mind.
  • Focus on Indirect Suggestion: Erickson uses indirect suggestion in therapy, allowing patients to access their unconscious resources, contrasting with traditional direct approaches.
  • Personal Growth and Change: The tales demonstrate how storytelling can facilitate personal growth, helping patients overcome limitations and fears.

Why should I read My Voice Will Go with You?

  • Insightful Techniques: The book offers valuable insights into Erickson's therapeutic methods, particularly storytelling and indirect suggestion, applicable in various contexts.
  • Engaging Content: The stories are engaging and accessible, simplifying complex psychological concepts and allowing personal connection with the material.
  • Inspiration for Practitioners: It serves as a source of inspiration and practical guidance for therapists, encouraging creative and flexible approaches to therapy.

What are the key takeaways of My Voice Will Go with You?

  • Trust the Unconscious: Erickson emphasizes the importance of trusting the unconscious mind, which holds vast resources for healing and growth.
  • Indirect Suggestion: The effectiveness of indirect suggestion in therapy is highlighted, allowing patients to engage with issues without feeling threatened.
  • Learning Through Stories: Erickson's tales show that storytelling can make complex ideas relatable, fostering a deeper understanding of oneself.

How does Erickson’s method differ from traditional therapy?

  • Indirect Techniques: Erickson uses indirect suggestion and storytelling, allowing patients to explore issues in a less confrontational manner.
  • Emphasis on the Unconscious: He believed the unconscious mind is a powerful resource for healing, encouraging patients to access their unconscious insights.
  • Creative and Flexible: His method adapts to the unique needs of each patient, contrasting with the rigid structures of traditional practices.

What role do stories play in Erickson’s therapeutic approach?

  • Facilitating Connection: Stories create a bridge between therapist and patient, fostering connection and understanding in a safe space.
  • Encouraging Reflection: They encourage patients to reflect on their lives, drawing parallels to the narratives and gaining new insights.
  • Promoting Change: Stories inspire change by presenting new possibilities, allowing patients to envision different outcomes and behaviors.

How can I apply Erickson’s techniques in my own life?

  • Practice Indirect Suggestion: Use indirect suggestions in self-talk, framing goals to encourage exploration and curiosity.
  • Engage with Stories: Incorporate storytelling into self-reflection, focusing on lessons learned and insights gained from experiences.
  • Trust Your Unconscious: Develop a practice of trusting your unconscious mind, exploring thoughts and feelings without judgment.

What is the significance of the unconscious mind in Erickson’s work?

  • Source of Resources: The unconscious mind is seen as a reservoir of resources and insights for healing and growth.
  • Influence on Behavior: Erickson emphasized that behavior is influenced by unconscious processes, understanding which can aid conscious choices.
  • Pathway to Change: Engaging with the unconscious helps uncover hidden beliefs, opening pathways for change and transformation.

How does Erickson address resistance in therapy?

  • Indirect Techniques: He uses indirect techniques to bypass defenses, allowing open exploration of issues without triggering resistance.
  • Safe Environment: Erickson fosters a supportive environment, reducing resistance and encouraging openness to change.
  • Reframing Challenges: He reframes resistance as growth opportunities, helping patients see it as a natural part of healing.

What are some specific techniques discussed in My Voice Will Go with You?

  • Symptom Prescription: Instructing patients to engage in their symptoms deliberately, helping them realize the absurdity and take control.
  • Reframing: Changing the context or perception of a situation to alter its meaning, leading to new insights and solutions.
  • Utilization: Using whatever the patient brings to the session as a starting point, allowing for a personalized therapeutic experience.

How does Erickson approach the concept of change in My Voice Will Go with You?

  • Incremental Change: Change is approached incrementally, allowing patients to adapt gradually and experience small successes.
  • Empowerment Through Self-Discovery: Individuals have resources within themselves to create change, and therapy should guide them to discover solutions.
  • Therapeutic Relationship: A trusting relationship between therapist and patient is central to facilitating change and receptiveness to new ideas.

What are the best quotes from My Voice Will Go with You and what do they mean?

  • “And my voice will go with you.”: Suggests the lasting impact of therapeutic suggestions, continuing beyond the session.
  • “You don’t know how you learned to stand up.”: Highlights unconscious learning processes, encouraging trust in one's abilities.
  • “The unexpected always helps.”: Emphasizes the value of surprise in therapy, disrupting negative patterns and encouraging new thinking.

How does Erickson's background influence his methods in My Voice Will Go with You?

  • Personal Experience: His experiences with illness and disability shaped his understanding of resilience and change.
  • Innovative Thinking: Erickson developed innovative techniques, challenging conventional practices with a willingness to experiment.
  • Focus on Practicality: His background in agriculture and labor influenced his practical approach, using relatable metaphors and techniques.

Review Summary

4.27 out of 5
Average of 1k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

My Voice Will Go with You is a collection of therapeutic stories by Milton Erickson, compiled by Sidney Rosen. Readers praise Erickson's innovative approach to hypnotherapy and his ability to effect change through storytelling. The book offers insights into human psychology and the power of the subconscious mind. While some find the stories dated or unbelievable, many appreciate Erickson's wit, flexibility, and understanding of human nature. The book is seen as both entertaining and potentially therapeutic, though its practical value is debated.

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About the Author

Sidney Rosen was a professor emeritus of astronomy at UI from 1958 to 1994. Born into a Jewish family in Boston's West End, he co-authored mystery novels with his wife Dorothy, featuring a Jewish immigrant in 1930s Boston. Rosen is known for his children's science books, particularly "Galileo and the Magic Numbers," published in 1958 and still widely available. His work spans both fiction and non-fiction, with a focus on science education for young readers. Rosen's diverse writing career demonstrates his ability to communicate complex ideas across different genres and age groups.

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