Knife at Midnight

Isioma, exhausted by her husband Lukumon's indifference and his family's hypocrisy, threatens him with a knife, sparking a family intervention. The gathering exposes the rot beneath the surface: Lukumon's laziness, his family's complicity, and Isioma's own journey from hopeful bride to weary provider. Through flashbacks, we see Isioma's sacrifices—selling corn to support the family, enduring humiliation, and ultimately facing a proposition from a wealthy customer, Ehi, who offers her money and a job for a weekend together. Lukumon, desperate for the money, pressures Isioma to accept. The aftermath is a reckoning: Isioma confronts the family, reveals Lukumon's role in her infidelity, and claims her agency, threatening to cut off his manhood if he doesn't leave. The chapter is a raw, unflinching look at the cost of survival, the limits of love, and the madness that simmers beneath Lagos marriages.

Lagos Love and Loss

The city's women navigate a minefield of relationships, each story a testament to resilience and heartbreak. From Isioma's journey to the Uber-driving Orode, who is betrayed by her husband Dele after years of shared struggle, the pattern is familiar: women give, men take, and when the truth emerges—infertility, infidelity, or cowardice—the women are left to rebuild. The city's madness is not just in the men, but in the relentless pressure to survive, to love, and to hope against hope. Each woman's story is a mosaic of pain and perseverance, a reflection of Lagos itself: chaotic, unforgiving, and alive with possibility.

The Gigolo's Confessions

Through the eyes of a party organizer, we follow Iggy, Seni, and their friend as they navigate Lagos' social scene. Iggy, the charming serial groom, marries for love, for papers, for business, but never for keeps. Seni, the quiet one, loses the woman he loves to Iggy's ambition and the city's relentless hustle. Their friendship fractures under the weight of betrayal and unspoken longing. The bachelor party becomes a confessional, a place where old wounds are reopened and the possibility of reconciliation flickers. The city's men are not just mad—they are lost, searching for meaning in a world that rewards cunning over connection.

The Anointed Wife's Dilemma

Pastor Mrs. Evelyn Oriade stands by her husband as he faces allegations of adultery. Her public denials are masterclasses in PR, blending piety with spin, but privately she grapples with the truth: she has caught him cheating before, and the latest accuser's story rings true. Yet, she cannot let go of the life they've built—the church, the family, the status. She orchestrates a digital defense, manipulates evidence, and ultimately chooses complicity over confrontation. Her story is a meditation on the cost of loyalty, the performance of virtue, and the quiet despair of women who must hold everything together, even as it falls apart.

Oyibo Dreams, Lagos Realities

Shike, weary of the madness of Lagos men, sets out to find a white (oyibo) partner, convinced that peace and a soft life await. Her quest is comic and poignant: she encounters cultural misunderstandings, marital landmines, and the realization that men—regardless of color—carry their own brand of madness. Her flirtation with a Ukrainian "Pastor" ends in disappointment, as does the rekindling of an old friendship. In the end, Shike accepts that the madness is not just in Lagos men, but in the search for perfection itself. She returns to herself, wiser and more self-assured.

Mother's House, Son's Heart

Jide, a successful writer, falls for Uche, a wealthy businessman, only to find herself entangled in the web of his mother's expectations. The matriarch, scarred by war and loss, insists on tribal continuity and legacy, demanding that Jide prove her fertility and accept a life under her roof. The relationship becomes a battleground for identity, autonomy, and the weight of history. Jide ultimately chooses herself, walking away from love rather than subsume her identity to another's legacy. The chapter is a powerful exploration of the personal costs of tradition and the courage to walk away.

A Lover's Betrayal

Orode's marriage to Dele is built on shared hardship and hope, but unravels when she discovers his infertility and deception. Dele, unable to father children, orchestrates years of false hope, then absconds with their savings. Orode, devastated, finds solace in her work as a nurse and the unwavering support of her friend Chuchu. Her journey is one of grief, rage, and eventual healing—a testament to the resilience required to survive both love and Lagos.

First Times, Last Hurts

Ivie's sexual awakening is marked by coercion, disappointment, and betrayal. Her first lover, Idris, manipulates and cheats, setting a pattern of pain and reconciliation. Over the years, Ivie builds a business empire, marries Idris, and endures his serial infidelity. Her own affair with her driver, Kel, becomes a turning point: for the first time, she experiences true pleasure and emotional connection. When Idris discovers her infidelity, Ivie claims her power, orchestrating a clean break and securing her future. The chapter is a nuanced exploration of desire, agency, and the long road to self-love.

Catfish and Hustle

Don, a rising musician, and Dooshima, an Instagram "baddie," connect online, each projecting an idealized version of themselves. Their real-life encounter is a comedy of mismatched expectations and sexual disappointment. The true hustler, however, is Edikan, Dooshima's roommate, who seduces Don and claims the prize. The story is a sharp satire of Lagos' dating scene, where image, ambition, and opportunism collide, and where everyone is hustling for their own happy ending.

Sidelined by Love

Genevieve, swept up by the charismatic Oddy, builds a life of luxury and devotion, only to discover she is the "side" in his double life. Oddy, a master of compartmentalization, never lies—he simply omits. When Genevieve stumbles upon his real family, her world collapses. The aftermath is a meditation on self-worth, the dangers of wishful thinking, and the loneliness of being sidelined in someone else's story.

The Bearded Secret

In the rarefied world of Lagos' elite, a secret society of wives—married to powerful, closeted gay men—gathers to share strategies for survival. Led by a matriarch who has turned her husband's sexuality into a business arrangement, the group navigates blackmail, heartbreak, and the pursuit of financial independence. Their stories are laced with irony, humor, and a clear-eyed understanding of the bargains women make to secure their futures in a patriarchal, performative society.

Ghosts of O'Jays

Sadiq, a charismatic musician, and Layo, a brilliant doctor, fall into a passionate, all-consuming love. Their relationship is marked by joy, creativity, and the birth of two children, but Sadiq's fear of marriage and abandonment—rooted in his own father's absence—undermines their happiness. Layo's public proposal becomes the breaking point, and the family fractures. Sadiq is left haunted by what he cannot give, and the song he writes for Layo becomes a requiem for lost love and the ghosts that linger in Lagos' nightclubs.

Independence Day Reckoning

Osa, a successful architect and mother, is confronted by her rapist at her son's school on Nigeria's Independence Day. The encounter triggers memories of the assault, years of silence, and the long journey to healing—facilitated by her brother and her loving husband, Lekan. In a moment of courage, Osa publicly names her rapist, reclaiming her voice and her story. The chapter is a searing indictment of rape culture, the complicity of silence, and the power of speaking out.

Characters

Isioma

Isioma's journey is emblematic of many Lagos women: she is loving, resourceful, and endlessly giving, but pushed to the brink by a husband who exploits her loyalty. Her psychological arc moves from hope to disillusionment to a fierce reclamation of agency. Her relationship with Lukumon is both a love story and a cautionary tale about the dangers of self-sacrifice without reciprocity. Isioma's love for her daughter Kitan grounds her, and her final act of defiance is both a personal and political statement.

Lukumon

Lukumon is the archetype of the Lagos man undone by his own privilege and coddling. Once a romantic, he becomes passive, manipulative, and ultimately cowardly, pressuring Isioma into transactional sex for the family's survival. His inability to confront his own failures or protect his family marks his psychological stagnation. Lukumon's relationships—with his mother, sisters, and extended family—reveal the generational patterns that produce and excuse male mediocrity.

Ehi

Ehi represents the Lagos elite: successful, emotionally wounded, and accustomed to negotiating for everything, including love. His proposition to Isioma is both a lifeline and a test, exposing the blurred lines between generosity and exploitation. Ehi's brief connection with Isioma is marked by mutual understanding, but ultimately, he is a catalyst for her transformation rather than a savior.

Pastor Mrs. Evelyn Oriade

Evelyn is a master of appearances, orchestrating her husband's defense with the precision of a political operative. Her public persona is unassailable, but privately she is haunted by betrayal and the knowledge that her marriage is built on lies. Evelyn's psychological complexity lies in her ability to compartmentalize, to choose the institution over the individual, and to find meaning in the performance of virtue.

Shike

Shike's quest for an oyibo man is both a satire and a search for peace. Her experiences reveal the universality of male flaws and the futility of seeking perfection in others. Shike's humor masks a deep longing for security and respect, but her journey ultimately leads her back to herself, more accepting and less willing to compromise her boundaries.

Jide

Jide's romance with Uche is complicated by family expectations and the weight of history. Her refusal to subsume her identity to tradition or to prove her worth through fertility is a radical act of self-preservation. Jide's psychological strength lies in her ability to walk away from love that demands too much, and her story is a meditation on the costs of autonomy.

Orode

Orode's marriage to Dele is a study in trust and betrayal. Her willingness to endure hardship is both her strength and her vulnerability. When Dele's deception is revealed, Orode's grief is raw, but her recovery is marked by a return to self-reliance and the support of chosen family. Her psychological journey is one of mourning, rage, and eventual acceptance.

Ivie

Ivie's life is shaped by early sexual trauma, repeated betrayals, and the relentless pursuit of success. Her marriage to Idris is a cycle of pain and forgiveness, but her affair with Kel marks a turning point: for the first time, she experiences pleasure and emotional safety. Ivie's decision to leave Idris is an act of self-love, and her story is a testament to the possibility of healing and new beginnings.

Oddy

Oddy is the quintessential Lagos hustler: generous, magnetic, and always in control. His relationship with Genevieve is built on omission rather than outright lies, and his ability to compartmentalize allows him to maintain multiple lives. Oddy's psychological profile is one of detachment and self-preservation, and his impact on Genevieve is both transformative and devastating.

Sadiq

Sadiq's fear of commitment is rooted in childhood abandonment and a deep-seated belief that love is fleeting. His relationship with Layo is passionate and creative, but ultimately undone by his inability to offer permanence. Sadiq's psychological struggle is between desire and fear, and his story is a poignant exploration of the ghosts that haunt even the most gifted among us.

Plot Devices

Interconnected Short Stories

The book is structured as a series of interconnected stories, each focusing on a different woman's experience with love, betrayal, and survival in Lagos. This narrative device allows for a panoramic view of the city's social dynamics, while also providing intimate psychological portraits. The stories echo and refract each other, creating a sense of shared struggle and collective resilience.

Flashbacks and Nonlinear Narratives

Many stories employ flashbacks to reveal the origins of present-day conflicts, particularly in the lives of Isioma, Orode, and Osa. This device deepens the reader's understanding of character motivation and the long shadow of past wounds. The nonlinear structure mirrors the unpredictability of Lagos life and the cyclical nature of trauma and healing.

Satire and Irony

The book uses humor, irony, and satire to critique Lagos' gender politics, religious hypocrisy, and the performative nature of social media. Characters like Shike and the wives' support group deploy wit as both shield and weapon, highlighting the absurdities of a society that demands perfection from women while excusing male madness.

Public Confession and Catharsis

Several stories culminate in moments of public reckoning—Isioma's confrontation with her husband's family, Osa's naming of her rapist, Layo's public proposal. These scenes serve as catharsis, challenging the culture of silence and complicity that enables abuse and betrayal. The act of speaking out is both a personal and political victory.

Symbolism of Lagos

Lagos is more than a backdrop—it is a living, breathing force that shapes and distorts the lives of its inhabitants. The city's chaos, ambition, and unpredictability are mirrored in the relationships and choices of the characters. Lagos is both the source of madness and the arena in which resilience is forged.

Analysis

Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad is a bold, unvarnished exploration of contemporary womanhood in Nigeria's most frenetic city. Through a tapestry of voices and experiences, Damilare Kuku exposes the emotional and psychological toll of navigating love, marriage, and ambition in a society that privileges male desire and excuses male failure. The book's genius lies in its refusal to offer easy answers or tidy resolutions: its women are flawed, funny, and fiercely human, their stories marked by both suffering and survival. Kuku's Lagos is a place where madness is both a diagnosis and a defense, where women must become strategists, comedians, and warriors to claim their share of happiness. The lessons are clear: self-worth is non-negotiable, silence is complicity, and the search for love—while universal—is fraught with peril in a world that demands women give everything and expect little in return. In the end, the book is a celebration of resilience, a call to honesty, and a testament to the power of women's stories to heal, provoke, and inspire.

Last updated: May 17, 2025