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No Ego

No Ego

How Leaders Can Cut the Cost of Workplace Drama, End Entitlement, and Drive Big Results
by Cy Wakeman 2017 224 pages
3.80
2k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Ego is the enemy of workplace productivity and engagement

The ego is not your amigo.

Ego creates drama. It generates emotional waste, distorts reality, and hinders productivity. In the workplace, ego-driven behaviors like complaining, blaming, and resisting change consume valuable time and energy. Research shows that the average employee spends 2.5 hours per day on drama and emotional waste.

Bypass ego for better results. Leaders can help employees move beyond ego by:

  • Asking reflective questions like "What do you know for sure?" and "How can you help?"
  • Focusing on facts rather than stories or interpretations
  • Encouraging personal accountability instead of victimhood
  • Modeling ego-free behavior and decision-making

By reducing ego-driven drama, organizations can reclaim lost productivity and foster a more engaged, solution-oriented workforce.

2. Traditional employee engagement strategies often backfire

Engagement without accountability creates entitlement.

Rethink engagement approaches. Conventional wisdom on employee engagement is flawed. It often:

  • Treats all employee opinions as equally valuable
  • Focuses on perfecting circumstances rather than developing people
  • Assumes engagement automatically leads to better results

Shift the focus to accountability. Instead of trying to make employees happy, leaders should:

  • Differentiate feedback based on employee performance and accountability
  • Help employees take ownership of their engagement and results
  • Measure engagement in conjunction with accountability levels

This approach prevents the creation of entitled employees and ensures that engagement efforts actually translate to improved business outcomes.

3. Accountability, not engagement, drives great results

Today's accountability drives tomorrow's results.

Accountability is key. While engagement is important, it's accountability that truly drives performance. Accountable employees:

  • Take ownership of results, good or bad
  • Find ways to succeed despite challenging circumstances
  • Continuously learn and improve

Cultivate accountability. Leaders can foster accountability by:

  • Setting clear expectations and following through
  • Providing regular feedback and opportunities for self-reflection
  • Rewarding accountable behavior and addressing lack of accountability
  • Helping employees develop resilience and problem-solving skills

By prioritizing accountability over engagement alone, organizations create a culture of ownership and results-driven behavior.

4. Change management is outdated; focus on business readiness

Change is hard only for the unready.

Shift from change management to business readiness. Traditional change management approaches are outdated and often ineffective. Instead, organizations should focus on developing employees' ability to anticipate and adapt to change.

Foster readiness at all levels:

  1. Awareness: Clearly communicate changes and expectations
  2. Willingness: Secure commitment and address resistance
  3. Advocacy: Encourage public support and activate the "silent majority"
  4. Active participation: Involve employees in implementing changes
  5. Driving change: Develop employees who can anticipate and lead change efforts

By cultivating business readiness, organizations become more agile and better equipped to thrive in rapidly changing environments.

5. Leaders must facilitate self-reflection, not provide answers

Feedback short. Self-reflection long.

Shift leadership approach. Instead of always providing answers or solutions, effective leaders:

  • Ask thought-provoking questions
  • Encourage employees to reflect on their actions and choices
  • Guide people to find their own solutions

Tools for self-reflection:

  • Assign reflection exercises or journaling tasks
  • Use the SBAR (Situation, Background, Assessment, Recommendation) model for problem-solving
  • Conduct regular one-on-one coaching sessions focused on employee growth

By facilitating self-reflection, leaders help employees develop critical thinking skills, increase self-awareness, and take greater ownership of their work and development.

6. Buy-in is a prerequisite, not something to be earned

Stay in joy or go in peace.

Reframe buy-in expectations. Leaders shouldn't waste time trying to "get" buy-in from employees. Instead:

  • Make it clear that buy-in is a condition of employment
  • Focus energy on working with willing employees
  • Address resistance directly and promptly

Handle lack of buy-in:

  1. Ask employees to rate their level of buy-in (1-10)
  2. For low ratings, inquire about their plan to increase buy-in
  3. If buy-in remains low, discuss transition plans

This approach eliminates the third option of staying without commitment, reducing emotional waste and improving overall team performance.

7. Reality-based leadership eliminates emotional waste

Our suffering does not come from our reality; it comes from the stories we make up about our reality.

Embrace reality-based leadership. This approach focuses on:

  • Delivering unvarnished truth without apology
  • Helping employees confront and adapt to reality, rather than argue with it
  • Eliminating emotional waste caused by drama and resistance

Implement reality-based techniques:

  • Edit employees' "stories" to focus on facts
  • Use the "New Story Exercise" to separate facts from interpretations
  • Encourage employees to ask, "What would great look like?" in challenging situations

By grounding leadership in reality, organizations can reduce drama, increase productivity, and foster a more resilient workforce.

8. Develop accountability through challenge and feedback

Challenge, experienced accountability, feedback, self-reflection, and collegial mentoring are the five phases of developing accountability.

Foster accountability growth. Leaders can develop accountability in their teams by:

  1. Providing challenging assignments that stretch employees' abilities
  2. Allowing employees to experience the natural consequences of their actions
  3. Offering timely, specific feedback on performance and behavior
  4. Encouraging and guiding self-reflection
  5. Facilitating peer mentoring and support

Create accountability-building opportunities:

  • Delegate important tasks with clear expectations
  • Use failure as a learning opportunity, not a punishment
  • Implement regular feedback sessions and self-assessment exercises
  • Establish mentoring programs or peer accountability groups

By intentionally guiding employees through these phases, leaders can cultivate a highly accountable workforce capable of delivering exceptional results.

9. Personal preference cannot trump business potential

Personal preference can't trump business potential.

Prioritize business needs. Leaders must help employees understand that their personal preferences are secondary to the organization's potential for growth and success.

Address preference-based resistance:

  • Clearly communicate the business case for changes or decisions
  • Help employees see beyond their immediate comfort zone
  • Encourage a focus on long-term benefits rather than short-term discomfort
  • Provide support and resources to help employees adapt

By shifting the focus from individual preferences to organizational potential, leaders can reduce resistance to change and foster a more adaptable, forward-thinking culture.

10. Saying "yes" fuels innovation and problem-solving

Saying yes quickly is what gives birth to innovation.

Cultivate a "yes" mindset. Encourage employees to default to "yes" when presented with new ideas or challenges. This approach:

  • Fosters creativity and innovation
  • Encourages collaborative problem-solving
  • Builds resilience and adaptability

Implement "yes, and" thinking:

  • Train employees to respond to new ideas with "Yes, and..." instead of "No, but..."
  • Encourage brainstorming sessions where all ideas are initially welcomed
  • Reward employees who find creative solutions to challenges

By creating a culture that embraces possibility rather than defaulting to limitations, organizations can unlock new levels of innovation and problem-solving capability.

Last updated:

FAQ

What's "No Ego" about?

  • Focus on Leadership: "No Ego" by Cy Wakeman is about transforming leadership by eliminating workplace drama and fostering accountability.
  • Reality-Based Leadership: The book introduces the concept of Reality-Based Leadership, which emphasizes dealing with reality as it is, rather than how we wish it to be.
  • Ego and Drama: It explores how ego-driven behaviors create drama and emotional waste in the workplace, and how leaders can address these issues.
  • Practical Tools: Wakeman provides practical tools and strategies for leaders to reduce drama, increase accountability, and drive results.

Why should I read "No Ego"?

  • Improve Leadership Skills: The book offers insights into becoming a more effective leader by reducing drama and focusing on reality.
  • Increase Workplace Productivity: By addressing emotional waste, leaders can enhance productivity and engagement in their teams.
  • Practical Advice: It provides actionable strategies and tools that can be implemented immediately to improve workplace dynamics.
  • Research-Based: The book is grounded in research and real-world examples, making its advice credible and applicable.

What are the key takeaways of "No Ego"?

  • Ego is Not Your Amigo: Ego-driven behaviors are detrimental to workplace productivity and should be managed effectively.
  • Accountability Drives Results: Personal accountability is crucial for achieving great results and should be cultivated in the workplace.
  • Engagement Needs Accountability: Engagement without accountability leads to entitlement; both must be balanced for success.
  • Reality-Based Leadership: Leaders should focus on reality, bypass ego, and encourage self-reflection to foster a productive work environment.

How does Cy Wakeman define Reality-Based Leadership?

  • Focus on Reality: Reality-Based Leadership involves dealing with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be.
  • Bypass Ego: It emphasizes bypassing ego to reduce drama and emotional waste in the workplace.
  • Self-Reflection: Encourages leaders to facilitate self-reflection among employees to improve accountability and results.
  • Practical Tools: Provides tools and strategies to help leaders implement these principles effectively.

What is the Open-Door Policy critique in "No Ego"?

  • Portal for Drama: Wakeman criticizes the Open-Door Policy as a portal for workplace drama and ego-driven complaints.
  • Ineffective Use of Time: It often leads to unproductive meetings that do not add value to the organization.
  • Encourages Venting: The policy encourages venting, which Wakeman argues is not healthy and does not resolve issues.
  • Alternative Approach: She suggests asking questions that promote self-reflection and accountability instead.

How does "No Ego" address employee engagement?

  • Engagement and Accountability: The book argues that engagement must be paired with accountability to avoid creating entitlement.
  • Flawed Engagement Strategies: Critiques traditional engagement strategies that focus on perfecting circumstances rather than fostering accountability.
  • Focus on Results: Engagement should be linked to driving business results, not just employee satisfaction.
  • Accountability Filter: Suggests using an accountability filter in engagement surveys to focus on feedback from high-accountability employees.

What are the four factors of accountability according to "No Ego"?

  • Commitment: Willingness to do whatever it takes to achieve desired results.
  • Resilience: Ability to stay the course in the face of obstacles and setbacks.
  • Ownership: Acceptance of the consequences of one's actions, without blame or argument.
  • Continuous Learning: Seeing both success and failure as opportunities for future success.

How does "No Ego" redefine change management?

  • Outdated Philosophy: Wakeman argues that traditional change management is outdated and ineffective.
  • Business Readiness: Proposes a shift to business readiness, focusing on preparing employees for constant change.
  • Myth Busting: Debunks myths such as "change is hard" and "people need time to grieve change."
  • Focus on Agility: Emphasizes developing agility and resilience in employees to handle change effectively.

What is the Business Readiness Pyramid in "No Ego"?

  • Awareness to Drivers: The pyramid outlines the progression from awareness to willingness, advocacy, active participation, and becoming drivers of change.
  • Shared Responsibility: Encourages shared responsibility for adapting to change and driving results.
  • Focus on Future: Emphasizes preparing employees for future challenges and opportunities.
  • Leadership Role: Leaders facilitate this progression by fostering a culture of readiness and accountability.

How does "No Ego" suggest handling buy-in?

  • Nonnegotiable Condition: Buy-in is a condition of employment, not something leaders should have to earn.
  • Work with the Willing: Focus on those who are willing to buy in and contribute positively to the organization.
  • Self-Reflection Questions: Use questions to inspire self-reflection and clarify the importance of buy-in.
  • No Third Option: Make it clear that staying without buy-in is not an option; employees must either commit or transition out.

What are some of the best quotes from "No Ego" and what do they mean?

  • "The ego is not your amigo." This quote highlights the detrimental impact of ego on workplace productivity and relationships.
  • "Stop believing everything you think." Encourages self-reflection and questioning of one's own thoughts to avoid ego-driven narratives.
  • "Engagement without accountability creates entitlement." Stresses the importance of balancing engagement with accountability to avoid fostering entitlement.
  • "Your circumstances are not the reason you can’t succeed; they are the reality in which you must succeed." Emphasizes the importance of accepting reality and taking responsibility for one's success.

How can leaders implement the strategies from "No Ego"?

  • Use the SBAR Model: Encourage employees to use the SBAR (Situation, Background, Assessment, Recommendation) model to process issues and focus on solutions.
  • Ask Great Questions: Use questions that promote self-reflection and accountability, such as "What do you know for sure?" and "What could you do to add value?"
  • Focus on Reality: Encourage a culture of reality-based thinking by addressing issues directly and avoiding ego-driven drama.
  • Develop Accountability: Foster a culture of accountability by focusing on commitment, resilience, ownership, and continuous learning.

Review Summary

3.80 out of 5
Average of 2k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

No Ego by Cy Wakeman receives mixed reviews, with an average rating of 3.82 out of 5. Some readers appreciate the book's focus on accountability and reducing workplace drama, finding it insightful for leadership and management. However, many criticize it for being condescending, contradictory, and promoting a harsh management style. Critics argue that the book oversimplifies workplace dynamics, ignores systemic issues, and advocates for an emotionless work environment. While some find value in its approach to self-reflection and reality-based leadership, others view it as potentially harmful and lacking empathy.

Your rating:

About the Author

Cy Wakeman is a leadership consultant, speaker, and author known for her "reality-based leadership" philosophy. She emphasizes accountability and reducing workplace drama to improve organizational performance. Wakeman's approach focuses on helping leaders and employees manage their thoughts and reactions to workplace situations, rather than trying to change external circumstances. She advocates for eliminating "emotional waste" and encourages individuals to take responsibility for their own engagement and success. Wakeman has written several books on leadership and workplace dynamics, including "Reality-Based Leadership" and "The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace." Her ideas have gained traction in corporate settings, though they have also faced criticism for potentially oversimplifying complex workplace issues.

Other books by Cy Wakeman

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