Key Takeaways
1. Embrace "Death Cleaning" for a Better Life Now & Later
death cleaning isn’t depressing—it’s empowering as hell.
Shift your mindset. Death cleaning, or döstädning, is a Swedish concept of tidying up like there's no tomorrow, but it's not morbid. It's about gaining control over your possessions and realizing you don't have endless time. This perspective shift motivates you to deal with your stuff now, preventing it from becoming a burden later.
Benefits abound. Decluttering isn't just for your heirs; it significantly improves your life now. The scientifically proven benefits include:
- Better sleep and mental health
- More energy and creativity
- Reduced anxiety and stress
- Increased self-confidence and sense of accomplishment
- More time, room, and money for what you want
Find your "why". While fear of burdening others is a motivator, focusing on the positive benefits for yourself is more sustainable. Imagine the peace of mind, the ease of finding things, and the joy of a clutter-free space. This positive vision is your fuel to keep going when the process gets tough.
2. Stop Making Excuses – Your Bullshit is Trash
Your sanity is more important than the money you spent.
Acknowledge your excuses. We all have reasons for holding onto stuff we don't need, but these excuses are often just rationalizations. Common ones include:
- "I might need it someday"
- "It was a gift" (guilt)
- "I spent good money on it" (buyer's remorse)
- "It holds memories"
- "It belonged to the old me"
Challenge your thinking. Ask yourself if these excuses are truly helpful or just keeping you stuck. Is the remote possibility of needing something worth the space it takes up? Is the guilt over a gift or past purchase worth the anxiety of clutter? Your mental well-being is more valuable than any object.
Just start small. Overcoming inertia is the hardest part. Don't aim to declutter your whole house at once. Start with five minutes a day or one small drawer. Building momentum on easy wins will make tackling bigger areas less daunting and help you practice making decisions about your stuff.
3. Simplify by Deciding What Truly Serves You
Draw a line in the sand and stick to it.
Go all-in mentally. Committing to decluttering means deciding you're done with the clutter and ready for change. This doesn't mean becoming a minimalist overnight, but adopting a mindset of intentionality about what you keep. Progress, not unattainable perfection, is the goal.
Define your criteria. Establish clear rules for what stays and what goes. This removes emotion from the decision-making process. Consider questions like:
- Have I used it in the last six months?
- Will I use it in the next six months?
- Am I keeping it for someone else?
- Would I keep this if I had to move it myself?
Use it or lose it. Apply this principle rigorously. If an item isn't actively used or loved, it's taking up valuable space. This applies not just to physical objects but also to stagnant hobbies or old dreams tied to possessions. Let go of the past to make room for the present and future.
4. Tackle Specific Clutter Zones Ruthlessly
If it doesn’t have a home, its home is in the trash.
Address common culprits. Certain areas and types of items tend to accumulate clutter more easily. Be prepared to make tough decisions in these zones:
- Clothing: Ditch ill-fitting items, worn-out pieces (recycle them!), and clothes for a life you no longer live.
- Decor: Get rid of items you no longer notice or love. Seasonal decor shouldn't require a separate storage unit.
- Storage Areas: Attics, basements, and garages are for functional storage, not forgotten junk. If you can't park your car, you have too much stuff.
- Random Crap: "Doom boxes" of miscellaneous items need homes or need to go. Don't keep things hoping they're hidden treasures; appraise them or let them go.
Storage units are a red flag. Paying to store items you don't need or use is an expensive avoidance tactic. Storage units should be temporary way stations, not permanent homes for your excess stuff. Reclaim your money and your space.
Avoid yard sales. Selling individual items is time-consuming and often yields little return. Focus on donating or gifting items to get them out of your house efficiently. Your time and sanity are worth more than pennies on the dollar.
5. Get Your Digital & Financial Affairs in Order
If you can’t remember your passwords, your family’s screwed.
Declutter your digital life. Your computer and online accounts are often more cluttered than your physical space. Organize files, delete old downloads and screenshots, and streamline your digital footprint. This makes things easier for you now and for anyone who might need access later.
Prioritize important documents. Go paperless where possible and shred old statements. Keep essential documents like wills, medical directives, deeds, and birth certificates in a secure, fireproof location. Make a list of all your accounts (financial, online, etc.) with necessary information.
Ensure accessibility. This crucial step is often overlooked. Make sure your executor or a trusted loved one knows where to find your important documents and account information. Consider using a secure password manager and sharing the master password with a trusted person.
6. Handle Heirlooms & Sentimental Items Thoughtfully
A thing is not a memory. It’s just a thing.
Separate memory from object. Sentimental items are the hardest to part with, but remember that the object is just a conduit for the memory. You can cherish the memory without keeping the physical item. Take photos or write down the stories associated with the item.
Don't assume family wants it. Your kids likely don't want your wedding dress, antique furniture, or extensive collections just because they were important to you. Tastes and lifestyles differ. Keeping things out of obligation creates clutter and potential guilt for them.
Communicate openly. Talk to your loved ones about what items, if any, they might want. Be prepared for them to say no without taking it personally. Gifting items now allows you to see the joy they bring and avoids potential conflict or burden later.
7. Plan for Your Stuff's Future (So Others Don't Have To)
Give your kids permission to throw it all out.
Make your wishes known. Don't leave your loved ones guessing about what you wanted done with your possessions. Include instructions in your will or a separate letter about specific bequests, donation preferences, or items that can be freely discarded.
Use a "burn box" for privacy. If there are items (physical or digital) you absolutely do not want others to see, designate a "burn box" to be destroyed without opening. For digital items, appoint a trusted person to delete them.
Grant permission to discard. Explicitly tell your family that they are not obligated to keep anything you leave behind. Giving them permission to donate, sell, or trash items guilt-free is a profound gift that breaks the cycle of inherited clutter and allows them to grieve without added stress.
8. Focus on Experiences, Not Just Possessions
Pass down the stories, not the stuff.
Stuff vs. experiences. We often accumulate things tied to experiences, but the true value lies in the memories, not the objects. Prioritize creating new experiences and sharing stories over acquiring more possessions.
Share memories now. Don't wait until you're gone to share the stories behind your sentimental items. Talk to your family and friends about the significance of objects, photos, and heirlooms. This preserves the legacy without requiring them to keep everything.
Live clutter-free. The ultimate goal is to create a home that supports the life you want to live now. A decluttered space allows room for new experiences, hobbies, and relationships. Focus on filling your life with joy and connection, not just things.
9. Progress, Not Perfection, is the Goal
Perfect isn’t the goal. Happy is.
Embrace imperfection. The idea of a perfectly minimalist or organized home can be overwhelming and paralyzing. Stop striving for an unrealistic ideal seen on social media. Your home should be lived in and reflect who you are.
Chip away consistently. Decluttering is an ongoing process, not a one-time event. Make it a regular habit, even in small increments. Every little bit helps reduce the overall burden and makes your space more functional and enjoyable.
Focus on your well-being. The purpose of death cleaning is ultimately to improve your life and the lives of those you care about. Don't let the process become another source of stress. Celebrate your progress, take breaks when needed, and remember that a happier, less burdened you is the best outcome.
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Review Summary
Nobody Wants Your Sh*t offers a blunt, humorous approach to decluttering and "death cleaning." Readers appreciate its straightforward advice and motivation, finding it helpful for tackling their own clutter. The book's excessive profanity and repetitiveness are criticized by some, while others enjoy the no-nonsense tone. Many readers found the audiobook particularly entertaining. The book emphasizes the importance of decluttering before death to avoid burdening loved ones and encourages readers to appreciate their possessions or let them go.
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