People Styles at Work

1. People Have Predictable Behavioral Styles

"Psychological researchers discovered that 75 percent of the population is significantly different from each of us."

Behavioral Patterns Matter. People are more predictable than we assume, with consistent behavioral tendencies that shape how they interact, communicate, and approach tasks. These patterns are not random but follow recognizable frameworks that can be understood and navigated.

Predictability in Human Behavior:

• People have habitual ways of communicating
• Behavioral tendencies remain relatively consistent over time
• Understanding these patterns can improve relationships

Practical Implications. Recognizing these predictable styles helps us anticipate how people might react, communicate more effectively, and reduce interpersonal friction by adapting our approach.

2. Understanding Your Own Style Is Critical

"To lead or attempt to lead without first having a knowledge of self is foolhardy and is sure to bring disaster and defeat."

Self-Awareness Drives Success. Understanding your own behavioral style is fundamental to personal and professional effectiveness. This awareness allows you to recognize your natural strengths, potential blind spots, and how others might perceive you.

Self-Discovery Strategies:

• Use style assessment inventories
• Seek feedback from colleagues and friends
• Observe your consistent behavioral patterns
• Reflect on how you typically communicate and work

Growth Perspective. Self-knowledge is not about limitation but about understanding your natural tendencies to leverage them more effectively and develop areas of potential improvement.

3. Two Key Dimensions Determine Your Interpersonal Style

"Behavioral scientists found that assertiveness and responsiveness are two clusters of behavior that are especially important in determining a person's style."

Core Behavioral Dimensions. Two primary behavioral dimensions shape people's interpersonal styles: assertiveness (how forcefully someone communicates) and responsiveness (how emotionally expressive someone is).

Assertiveness Spectrum:

• More assertive: Direct, quick to act, forceful
• Less assertive: Deliberate, measured, collaborative

Responsiveness Spectrum:

• More responsive: Emotionally expressive, people-oriented
• Less responsive: Reserved, task-oriented, controlled

Interaction Dynamics. Understanding these dimensions helps explain why people interact differently and provides a framework for more effective communication.

4. No Style Is Better or Worse Than Another

"Success or failure is unrelated to any style. Each style has potential strengths and potential limitations."

Diversity of Strengths. Each behavioral style brings unique capabilities and perspectives. No single style guarantees success or predetermines failure. Success depends on understanding and effectively applying one's style.

Style Contributions:

• Drivers: Goal-oriented, decisive
• Expressives: Creative, enthusiastic
• Amiables: Collaborative, supportive
• Analyticals: Thorough, precise

Inclusive Perspective. Recognizing the value in different styles promotes mutual respect and more effective teamwork by appreciating diverse approaches.

5. Style Differences Create Interpersonal Tension

"When there's a style-based clash, one or both must adapt."

Natural Friction Points. Behavioral style differences naturally create tension in relationships. People with contrasting styles can misunderstand, frustrate, or inadvertently offend each other.

Common Tension Sources:

• Different communication speeds
• Varying levels of emotional expression
• Contrasting decision-making approaches
• Divergent work and interaction preferences

Constructive Approach. Understanding these differences allows proactive management of potential conflicts and more empathetic interactions.

6. Style Flex Can Transform Relationships

"Style flex involves taking the initiative for improving the relationship."

Adaptive Communication. Style flex is the ability to temporarily adjust your behavioral approach to better connect with others, creating more productive and harmonious interactions.

Flex Strategies:

• Observe the other person's style
• Modify a few key behavioral aspects
• Communicate on their wavelength
• Maintain authenticity while adapting

Relationship Enhancement. By flexing styles, individuals can bridge communication gaps, reduce friction, and create more meaningful connections.

7. Basic Respect Undergirds Effective Interactions

"People want to be treated respectfully, fairly, and honestly."

Universal Interaction Principles. Regardless of style, people fundamentally desire respect, fair treatment, and genuine communication.

Respect Foundations:

• Treat individuals as valuable human beings
• Communicate without disparagement
• Demonstrate genuine interest
• Provide thoughtful, considerate interactions

Ethical Interaction. These principles transcend style differences and form the basis of constructive human relationships.

8. Family and Work Relationships Require Style Awareness

"Since about 95 percent of couples have partners with different styles, understanding style dynamics is crucial."

Relationship Complexity. Family and professional relationships are significantly influenced by style differences, requiring deliberate understanding and adaptation.

Application Areas:

• Couple communication
• Parenting approaches
• Team collaboration
• Leadership effectiveness

Holistic Perspective. Style awareness helps navigate complex interpersonal dynamics across personal and professional domains.

9. Backup Behaviors Emerge Under Extreme Stress

"Backup style is an automatic reaction to an overload of stress, which results in an extreme, inappropriate, and inflexible distortion of the person's normal style-based behavior."

Stress Response Mechanisms. Under extreme stress, individuals default to dysfunctional behavioral patterns that can damage relationships and undermine effectiveness.

Backup Style Characteristics:

• Automatic, unconscious response
• Extreme and inflexible behavior
• Protective stress-reduction mechanism
• Potentially destructive interactions

Coping Strategies. Recognizing backup behaviors allows for more constructive stress management and relationship preservation.

10. Personal Growth Means Leveraging Your Strengths

"Make the most of your gifts by noting potential strengths, developing them, and capitalizing on them."

Strength-Based Development. Personal growth involves identifying natural tendencies, deliberately developing them, and creating environments that allow those strengths to flourish.

Growth Principles:

• Recognize innate capabilities
• Practice and refine skills
• Create supportive contexts
• Minimize potential weaknesses

Developmental Approach. Focus on enhancing strengths rather than obsessively correcting weaknesses.

Last updated: April 25, 2025