Raising Can-Do Kids

1. Foster exploration and innovation from infancy

Babies come into the world wired (in the neuroscience sense) for exploration.

Innate curiosity. From birth, infants are primed to explore their environment using all their senses. This natural tendency forms the foundation for future innovation and creativity. Parents can support this innate drive by providing a stimulating environment with diverse sensory experiences.

Hands-off approach. Research shows that allowing children to explore and problem-solve independently leads to better cognitive development. Rather than providing direct instruction, parents should create opportunities for open-ended play and discovery. This approach encourages children to think critically, make connections, and develop innovative solutions.

Balancing structure and freedom. While structured activities have their place, it's crucial to provide ample unstructured time for children to engage in free play and exploration. This balance allows children to develop their interests, practice decision-making, and cultivate their innate creativity.

2. Cultivate optimism to build resilience and success

Optimism isn't just about figuring out if the glass is half empty or half full. It's also about figuring out how you can fill up the glass yourself.

Realistic optimism. Teach children to approach challenges with a positive mindset while acknowledging reality. This balanced perspective helps them persist in the face of obstacles and seek solutions rather than dwelling on problems.

Emotional climate. Parents significantly influence their children's outlook through their own emotional responses. Creating a positive home environment, where setbacks are viewed as opportunities for growth, helps children develop resilience and optimism.

Practical strategies:

• Start each day by expressing gratitude
• Encourage children to identify positive aspects of challenging situations
• Model optimistic thinking and problem-solving approaches
• Celebrate small successes and progress

3. Encourage calculated risk-taking and opportunity-seeking

Entrepreneurs love to sniff out opportunities, and when they find them, they know how to take on and manage risk in order to maximize the likelihood of eventual success.

Redefining risk. Rather than focusing on physical risks, parents should encourage children to take calculated risks in various aspects of life. This includes trying new activities, expressing ideas, and pursuing challenging goals.

Opportunity mindset. Teach children to view challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. This perspective helps them develop resilience and adaptability, crucial skills for success in an ever-changing world.

Strategies for fostering opportunity-seeking:

• Encourage children to explore diverse interests and activities
• Discuss potential outcomes of decisions, both positive and negative
• Praise effort and learning from failures, not just successes
• Provide age-appropriate opportunities for independent decision-making

4. Develop a strong work ethic through meaningful tasks

Kids need to be doers.

Intrinsic motivation. Rather than relying on external rewards, help children develop an internal drive to work hard and accomplish tasks. This approach fosters a genuine sense of satisfaction and pride in their efforts.

Meaningful contributions. Involve children in household chores and responsibilities framed as ways to contribute to the family. This perspective helps children understand the value of their efforts and develops a sense of purpose.

Strategies for cultivating a strong work ethic:

• Assign age-appropriate tasks and responsibilities
• Explain the importance and impact of their contributions
• Allow children to experience natural consequences of their actions
• Model a positive attitude towards work and responsibilities
• Encourage perseverance and celebrate effort, not just results

5. Nurture social skills for personal and professional growth

Likeability transcends specific personality traits—it's about an ability to get along well with those around you.

Social competence. Research shows that children with strong social skills are more likely to succeed academically and professionally. These skills include empathy, communication, conflict resolution, and collaboration.

Practical skill-building. Parents can foster social skills through everyday interactions and structured activities. Encourage children to engage in conversations, practice active listening, and work cooperatively with others.

Key social skills to develop:

• Effective communication (verbal and non-verbal)
• Empathy and perspective-taking
• Conflict resolution and problem-solving
• Teamwork and collaboration
• Adaptability in social situations

6. Instill a service mindset to create value for others

Understanding that we are all here, in principle, to serve others is a powerful perspective.

Value creation. Teach children that success comes from providing value to others. This mindset helps them identify opportunities to contribute meaningfully and develop innovative solutions to problems.

Altruism and success. Research shows that "givers" often achieve substantial success over time. Encourage children to think about how they can help others and contribute to their communities.

Strategies for developing a service mindset:

• Involve children in volunteer activities
• Discuss how various professions contribute to society
• Encourage children to identify and solve problems in their environment
• Model altruistic behavior and explain its importance
• Help children recognize the intrinsic rewards of helping others

7. Balance parental involvement for optimal child development

As a parent, your ultimate goal should be to give your child sufficient opportunity to capitalize on his own abilities.

Sweet spot of involvement. Find the balance between providing support and allowing independence. Overly involved parenting can hinder a child's development of crucial life skills, while insufficient support may leave them struggling.

Authoritative parenting. Research consistently shows that an authoritative parenting style, combining warmth with appropriate limits and expectations, leads to the best outcomes for children.

Strategies for balanced parenting:

• Provide emotional support and encouragement
• Set clear expectations and boundaries
• Allow age-appropriate independence and decision-making
• Focus on process and effort rather than outcomes
• Adapt your approach as your child grows and develops

Last updated: July 28, 2024