Raising Freethinkers

1. Embrace questioning and curiosity as foundations of freethought parenting

"It has the power to achieve precisely what you are seeking. This is why doubt is such a serious sin in orthodox religious traditions—and why we must champion it as the highest intellectual virtue."

Curiosity as a virtue. Freethought parenting celebrates curiosity and questioning as essential virtues. Rather than providing fixed answers, encourage children to explore ideas, ask questions, and think critically. This approach helps develop independent thinking and a lifelong love of learning.

Strategies to foster inquiry:

• Model curiosity by asking questions yourself
• Respond to children's questions with "What do you think?" to prompt reflection
• Expose children to diverse ideas and perspectives
• Praise the process of questioning rather than focusing solely on answers
• Create opportunities for open-ended exploration and discovery

2. Develop religious literacy without indoctrination

"By thinking about religion, too often bring many of these distorted and misinformed notions of sexuality into their own lives and their own parenting."

Balanced religious education. While avoiding indoctrination, it's crucial to provide children with knowledge about world religions and beliefs. This enables them to understand cultural contexts, make informed decisions, and engage productively with diverse worldviews.

Approaches to religious literacy:

• Explore religious stories, traditions, and practices from an anthropological perspective
• Visit different places of worship to learn about various faith communities
• Discuss religious themes in literature, art, and current events
• Encourage critical analysis of religious claims and ideas
• Emphasize the human origins and cultural contexts of religious beliefs

3. Foster ethical development through reason and compassion

"The most useful form of character education encourages children to think for themselves."

Rational ethics. Freethought parenting emphasizes developing ethical reasoning skills rather than relying on rigid rules or appeals to authority. Help children understand the consequences of actions and cultivate empathy and compassion as foundations for moral behavior.

Strategies for ethical development:

• Discuss ethical dilemmas and encourage children to reason through solutions
• Model compassionate behavior and explain your ethical decision-making process
• Engage in community service and social justice activities as a family
• Explore philosophical questions about right, wrong, and human values
• Praise children for considering others' perspectives and showing kindness

4. Promote healthy attitudes about sexuality and the physical self

"Sex is pleasurable for evolutionary reasons. It is what causes the species to continue."

Sex-positive education. Approach sexuality education with honesty, emphasizing both the biological aspects and emotional dimensions. Promote body positivity, consent, and healthy relationships while providing accurate information about sexual health and development.

Key aspects of sexuality education:

• Use correct anatomical terms from an early age
• Discuss puberty, reproduction, and sexual health openly and factually
• Emphasize consent, respect, and healthy relationships
• Address media representations of sexuality and body image critically
• Provide age-appropriate information about sexual orientation and gender identity

5. Cultivate a meaningful life through engagement and community

"Flow is a state of being we've all experienced, although many of us don't necessarily have a name for it, or know what has been learned about it in scientific studies."

Finding meaning and purpose. Help children develop a sense of purpose and engagement with life through cultivating interests, pursuing goals, and connecting with others. Emphasize the importance of contributing to society and finding personal fulfillment.

Ways to foster meaning and purpose:

• Encourage children to pursue their passions and develop skills
• Discuss long-term goals and help children plan steps to achieve them
• Engage in volunteer work or community service as a family
• Explore philosophical questions about the nature of existence and meaning
• Celebrate personal growth, accomplishments, and milestones

6. Create secular celebrations and rites of passage

"December is rich with possibilities for family traditions. What appeals to you?"

Meaningful rituals. Develop secular alternatives to religious rituals and celebrations that mark important life transitions and create a sense of community. These can provide a framework for shared experiences and values without relying on supernatural beliefs.

Ideas for secular celebrations:

• Coming of age ceremonies to mark transitions into adolescence or adulthood
• Solstice or equinox celebrations to connect with natural cycles
• Family rituals to express gratitude or set intentions
• Humanist naming ceremonies for welcoming new children
• Secular versions of holidays that emphasize universal human values

7. Address death and loss honestly and compassionately

"Nonreligious parents are in a unique position to help their children begin a lifetime of powerful reflection on death and life, dipping their minds into the deepest and richest streams of thought."

Honest conversations about mortality. Approach discussions of death and loss with honesty, acknowledging the finality of death while emphasizing the preciousness of life. Provide emotional support and help children process grief without relying on supernatural explanations.

Strategies for discussing death:

• Use clear, factual language when explaining death to children
• Encourage expression of emotions and memories related to loss
• Explore cultural traditions and rituals for honoring the dead
• Discuss the natural cycles of life and death in nature
• Emphasize the ongoing impact of a person's life through memories and legacy

8. Build supportive freethinking communities for families

"There are literally millions of families in the United States with nonreligious worldviews, but too often they feel as if they are going it alone."

Creating community. Seek out or create supportive communities for freethinking families to provide social connections, shared values, and opportunities for children to interact with like-minded peers. This can help counter feelings of isolation and reinforce humanist values.

Ways to build freethinking communities:

• Join local humanist, atheist, or freethought organizations
• Participate in secular parenting groups or online forums
• Organize secular family activities or playgroups
• Attend Camp Quest or other secular summer camps
• Engage with Unitarian Universalist congregations or Ethical Societies
• Start a local secular homeschooling group or after-school program

Committed to these principles, freethinking parents can raise children who are curious, compassionate, and capable of navigating the complexities of life with reason and empathy.

Last updated: December 6, 2024