Key Takeaways
1. Horsemanship is a journey of self-discovery and patience
"The best reason to improve our riding is that it allows the horse to work his magic on us."
Self-reflection is key. Horsemanship is not just about developing technical skills, but also about personal growth. As riders, we must constantly examine our own attitudes, emotions, and behaviors to become better partners for our horses.
Patience is a virtue. Progress with horses often comes slowly and in small increments. Learning to appreciate these small victories and maintain a positive outlook during setbacks is crucial for long-term success.
Horses as teachers. Our equine partners often reflect our own state of mind and body. By paying attention to their reactions and responses, we can gain valuable insights into our own strengths and weaknesses, both as riders and as individuals.
2. Breathing and rhythm are fundamental to effective riding
"Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts."
Breathe for connection. Conscious breathing helps riders stay present and connected with their horses. It promotes relaxation, improves focus, and enhances overall communication between horse and rider.
Rhythm creates harmony. Maintaining a consistent rhythm in all gaits is essential for the horse's balance and comfort. Riders should strive to:
- Feel and follow the horse's natural rhythm
- Use their seat and body to influence and adjust the rhythm when necessary
- Avoid disrupting the rhythm with abrupt or inconsistent aids
Breathing as an aid. Using breath as a subtle cue can be highly effective:
- Inhale to prepare for upward transitions or increased energy
- Exhale to encourage relaxation or downward transitions
- Synchronize breathing with the horse's movement to enhance connection
3. Positive reinforcement builds trust and partnership
"If you want to get more from your horse, you have to set the example."
Reward the try. Acknowledging and praising even small efforts encourages the horse to continue offering their best. This builds confidence and willingness in the horse.
Timing is crucial. Rewards should be given immediately after the desired behavior to create a clear association. Types of rewards can include:
- Verbal praise
- A pat or scratch in a favorite spot
- A brief rest or walk break
- Release of pressure (physical or mental)
Positive attitude matters. Approaching training sessions with enthusiasm and optimism creates a more enjoyable experience for both horse and rider. This positive energy is often reflected in the horse's attitude and performance.
4. Relaxation and forward movement are the cornerstones of good riding
"Forward is always the answer. Get happy."
Tension inhibits performance. A relaxed horse is more able to use its body effectively and respond to rider aids. Signs of relaxation include:
- Soft eye and lowered head
- Swinging back and tail
- Deep, rhythmic breathing
Forward doesn't mean fast. True forward movement is about energy and engagement, not speed. It involves:
- Active hind legs stepping under the body
- A swinging back that transmits energy from back to front
- A feeling of the horse carrying itself with ease
Balance relaxation and energy. The rider's job is to find the sweet spot where the horse is both relaxed and energetic. This often requires:
- A thorough warm-up to loosen muscles and joints
- Frequent transitions to keep the horse mentally engaged
- Alternating between moments of work and relaxation
5. Understanding horse behavior requires empathy and observation
"Horses are eloquent on this topic. They are the very image of power and strength, and at the same time, intelligence and intuition."
Body language speaks volumes. Horses communicate primarily through subtle physical cues. Riders should learn to recognize and interpret:
- Ear position and movement
- Facial expressions and eye softness
- Tail carriage and swishing
- Overall body tension or relaxation
Context matters. Behavior should always be evaluated within the larger situation. Consider factors such as:
- The horse's past experiences and training
- Environmental stimuli and potential stressors
- The horse's physical comfort and well-being
Respect individuality. Each horse has its own personality and preferences. Taking the time to understand and appreciate these individual traits leads to a stronger partnership and more effective training.
6. Consistency in training leads to confident, willing horses
"Consistency is the best kindness we can show a horse."
Clear expectations. Horses thrive on routine and predictability. Establishing consistent:
- Handling procedures
- Training methods
- Reward systems
helps the horse understand what is expected and builds confidence.
Fair leadership. Being a consistent leader for your horse involves:
- Setting clear boundaries
- Following through on requests
- Remaining calm and composed, even in challenging situations
Progressive training. Building skills systematically, with each lesson building on previous knowledge, creates a solid foundation. This approach:
- Minimizes confusion and frustration
- Allows the horse to feel successful at each step
- Promotes long-term retention of learned behaviors
7. Rider self-awareness is crucial for effective communication
"If you want to control something, start with your emotions."
Mind-body connection. Riders must develop awareness of their own:
- Body position and tension
- Emotional state and energy
- Unconscious habits or patterns
Intentional riding. Every aid and movement should have a purpose. Riders should constantly ask themselves:
- What am I trying to communicate?
- Is my body aligned with my intention?
- How is the horse responding to my aids?
Emotional regulation. Managing one's own emotions is critical for clear communication. Techniques for staying centered include:
- Deep breathing exercises
- Positive self-talk and visualization
- Regular practice of mindfulness or meditation
8. Safety and respect for the horse should always come first
"If you respect your horse, love him enough to consistently ask for his best work."
Prioritize safety. This includes:
- Wearing appropriate safety gear, especially helmets
- Maintaining proper tack and equipment
- Being aware of environmental hazards
- Understanding and respecting the horse's physical limitations
Ethical treatment. Respecting the horse as a sentient being involves:
- Providing proper care, nutrition, and veterinary attention
- Using training methods that prioritize the horse's well-being
- Avoiding overwork or pushing beyond reasonable limits
Education is key. Continual learning about horse behavior, physiology, and training methods helps riders make informed decisions that benefit both horse and human.
9. Dressage principles apply to all riding disciplines
"Dressage training is built on a foundation that says—first and always—a horse must be relaxed and forward."
Universal benefits. The core principles of dressage, such as balance, suppleness, and responsiveness, enhance performance in all equestrian pursuits.
Progressive training. The dressage training scale provides a logical framework for developing the horse's physical and mental abilities:
- Rhythm
- Relaxation
- Connection
- Impulsion
- Straightness
- Collection
Adaptability. Dressage concepts can be applied to various disciplines by:
- Focusing on improving the horse's natural gaits
- Developing better communication between horse and rider
- Enhancing the horse's overall athleticism and body awareness
10. Age and experience often improve horsemanship skills
"A post-menopausal old gray mare in the saddle is a gift to a horse."
Wisdom over bravado. With age often comes:
- Greater patience and empathy
- Improved ability to read subtle cues from the horse
- Less ego-driven riding and more focus on partnership
Valuing the journey. Experienced riders often:
- Appreciate the small victories and incremental progress
- Have a deeper understanding of equine psychology and behavior
- Prioritize the horse's well-being over competitive goals
Lifelong learning. The best horsemen and women never stop seeking knowledge and improvement:
- Remaining open to new training methods and ideas
- Continually refining their skills and understanding
- Sharing their knowledge with younger generations of riders
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Review Summary
Relaxed & Forward receives high praise from readers for its insightful essays on the human-horse relationship. Reviewers appreciate the author's compassionate approach, emphasis on breathing, and practical advice applicable to all riding styles. The book offers valuable perspectives on improving communication with horses and developing patience. Some readers note repetition due to the book's origin as blog posts, but most find it inspiring and transformative. Many describe it as a must-read for riders seeking to deepen their connection with horses.
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