Key Takeaways
1. Build Your Personal Brand and Stay True to Yourself
"Remember who you are!"
Define your unique brand. Your personal brand is the core of who you are, your reputation, and what you project to the outside world. It can become the filter through which you live your life and overflow into everything from your personal management style to your relationships at home. To find your brand:
- Ask trusted people to describe you honestly
- Reflect on who you want to be, not just who you are now
- Look for patterns in what resonates with you
- Write a six-word story about yourself
Be self-aware and authentic. Discover character traits you want to improve and those you want to emphasize. Use this self-awareness to harness your strengths and break bad habits. Protect your brand by being true to yourself, even in difficult situations.
2. Deliver X Plus: Go Above and Beyond Expectations
"Give 110 percent and watch your career (and life) blossom."
Establish credibility through exceptional work. To achieve success and stand out, consistently deliver more than what's expected:
- Make action plans and put in extra hours when needed
- Be a solution provider, not just an answer-giver
- Differentiate yourself by leveraging unique skill sets
- Show and tell - demonstrate how you can apply your experiences
Grow your "root ball." Broaden your knowledge and experience to withstand any storm in your career. Take advantage of learning opportunities, seize moments to expand your role, and be willing to take on new challenges. Remember, missed expectations happen, but don't let them happen more than once.
3. Practice Authentic Leadership Through Humility and Confidence
"When leaders show humility and their own humanity, they are connecting with employees in a way other leaders cannot."
Balance humility and confidence. Authentic leaders combine humility with fierce resolve. Show humility by:
- Surrounding yourself with successful people
- Giving credit to your team and accepting blame
- Listening to others' ideas and advice
Build confidence through:
- Taking risks and stretching yourself
- Overcoming analysis paralysis (use the 80/20 rule)
- Speaking with authority and conviction in meetings
Build relationships and make tough decisions. Develop connections with your team to have candid conversations and greater influence. Be willing to make unpopular decisions when necessary, such as laying off employees, but do so with empathy and authenticity.
4. Master the Art of Juggling Life's Priorities
"You will achieve the holy grail of 'a balanced life' only if you accept that some of those balls can and should drop, at least for a season."
Prioritize your life's "balls." Categorize your responsibilities into five types:
- Crystal balls: Most important, shatter if dropped (e.g., faith, family)
- Glass balls: Important but replaceable (e.g., work, volunteering)
- Rubber balls: Routine matters that bounce back easily
- Plastic balls: Lower priority areas that can be set aside temporarily
- Lead balls: Things to drop and never pick up again (e.g., false guilt, draining relationships)
Create effective to-do lists. Divide your tasks into a reasonable daily list and a longer-term list. Ensure your to-do list represents your priorities and ask yourself, "Will this matter tomorrow?" before adding new tasks.
5. Manage Your Calendar to Create Balance and Avoid Burnout
"Wherever you are, be all there."
Build your support team. Work with your spouse or partner to create a balanced approach to career and family. Involve your children in household responsibilities and delegate tasks where possible.
Set boundaries and create margin. Implement rules like "one-sport-a-season" for children and schedule "think time" at work. Learn to say no to unnecessary commitments and create space for self-care activities that rejuvenate you.
Unplug regularly. Take time to disconnect from technology and focus on real-world connections. This practice can improve productivity and set a positive example for your team.
6. Conquer Guilt and Worry by Setting Realistic Expectations
"If you spend time preparing — whether for a presentation at work or for your family in your absence — you spend less time feeling guilty about the outcome."
Differentiate between true and false guilt. True guilt comes from knowing you've done something wrong or made a decision misaligned with your priorities. False guilt stems from things beyond your control or expectations placed on you by others.
Set realistic expectations. Give yourself permission to say no and don't promise what you can't deliver. Focus on being present in what you're doing rather than worrying about what you're missing.
Create meaningful connections. Find creative ways to connect with your family despite a busy schedule, such as:
- Taking work trips as family adventures
- Establishing special traditions or rituals
- Using technology for daily check-ins when traveling
7. Choose Complementing Over Competing with Other Women
"Women investing in other women creates a culture that not only eliminates unhealthy competition and animosity but elevates everyone."
Overcome the competition mindset. Recognize that intrasexual competition is often rooted in primal instincts but doesn't serve modern professional women. Instead, focus on building a supportive network of women.
Practice complementing behaviors:
- Be vulnerable and authentic with other women
- Build your own track record of success
- Cultivate confidence in yourself and your abilities
- Invest in others' success and growth
Advocate for women in leadership. Support initiatives that increase female representation in C-suites and on corporate boards. Recognize that diverse leadership leads to better financial performance and increased corporate social responsibility.
8. Turn Adversity into Character-Building Opportunities
"Somehow, when I was feeling my worst, I was also becoming my best."
Define and refine yourself through challenges. When faced with adversity:
- Choose to let it refine rather than define you
- Stay true to your personal brand
- Accept responsibility where appropriate
- Look for lessons and growth opportunities
Use setbacks as catalysts for improvement. View negative feedback and difficult relationships as chances to grow and innovate. Embrace these experiences to develop empathy, gratitude, and wisdom.
Share your wisdom. One of the greatest gifts from adversity is the ability to help others through similar challenges. Don't hoard your hard-earned wisdom - share your stories and lessons learned to benefit others.
9. Find Fulfillment by Serving Others and Living with Purpose
"Don't chase success. Instead, decide to make a difference and success will find you."
Discover your purpose through your work. Look for ways your career can make a meaningful impact on others' lives. This perspective can transform a job into a fulfilling career driven by passion and purpose.
Use your skills to serve others. Dedicate some of your time and talents to helping others, whether through volunteering, mentoring, or supporting causes you care about. This service can provide a deep sense of fulfillment and purpose.
Create a legacy of giving. Encourage a culture of service in your workplace and personal life. By focusing on how you can help others, you'll not only find greater satisfaction but also inspire those around you to do the same.
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Review Summary
Remember Who You Are receives overwhelmingly positive reviews, with readers praising its practicality, relatability, and inspirational content. Many found the authors' personal experiences and advice valuable for both career and personal growth. Readers appreciate the book's focus on maintaining balance, staying true to oneself, and serving others. Several reviewers noted the book's relevance for both women and men in various career stages. Some mentioned using it as a gift or recommending it to others. A few criticisms include concerns about contradictory advice and personal preferences.
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