Sex and Lies

1. Morocco's sexual landscape: A complex tapestry of tradition and modernity

"We are living in societies in which religious influence has strengthened and in which women are charged with representing Muslim identity."

Conflicting forces. Morocco's sexual landscape is characterized by a clash between traditional Islamic values and modern influences. This tension creates a complex environment where individuals struggle to reconcile their desires with societal expectations.

Generational divide. Younger Moroccans, exposed to global influences through the internet and media, often adopt more liberal attitudes towards sexuality. However, they face resistance from older generations who cling to conservative values. This generational gap leads to internal conflicts within families and society at large.

Urban-rural divide. Sexual attitudes and practices vary significantly between urban and rural areas. Cities like Casablanca and Rabat tend to be more sexually liberal, while rural areas maintain stricter adherence to traditional norms. This divide further complicates the national discourse on sexuality.

2. The cult of virginity: A societal obsession with far-reaching consequences

"The hymen is, in a manner of speaking, the female body's capital city: it must be preserved like an inviolable fortress."

Societal pressure. The obsession with female virginity permeates Moroccan society, affecting women's lives in profound ways. This cult of virginity leads to:

• Restricted freedom of movement for unmarried women
• Limited educational and career opportunities
• Pressure to marry early
• Stigmatization of sexually active unmarried women

Medical implications. The fixation on virginity has led to a thriving industry of hymen restoration surgeries and fake virginity certificates. These practices not only perpetuate harmful myths but also pose health risks to women.

Psychological impact. The emphasis on virginity creates intense psychological pressure on women, leading to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. It also fosters a culture of shame and secrecy around female sexuality.

3. Double standards and hypocrisy: The gap between public morality and private practices

"Do what you like, but do it in private."

Public vs. private behavior. Moroccan society maintains a facade of strict sexual morality in public while tolerating a wide range of sexual practices in private. This hypocrisy creates a culture of secrecy and shame around sexuality.

Gender disparities. Double standards are particularly evident in the treatment of men and women:

• Men's sexual experiences are often celebrated
• Women's sexuality is heavily policed and stigmatized
• Premarital sex is tacitly accepted for men but condemned for women

Social consequences. This hypocrisy leads to:

• Widespread lying and deceit in relationships
• Difficulty in forming healthy, honest partnerships
• Perpetuation of harmful gender stereotypes

4. Legal constraints: How outdated laws perpetuate sexual repression

"We are living in a system that turns us all into outlaws and therefore we are afraid and we don't take action."

Restrictive legislation. Morocco's legal system enforces strict regulations on sexual behavior:

• Criminalization of premarital sex
• Prohibition of abortion (with limited exceptions)
• Illegality of homosexuality

Selective enforcement. These laws are often applied arbitrarily, creating a climate of fear and uncertainty. Wealthy and well-connected individuals can often evade punishment, while the poor and marginalized bear the brunt of enforcement.

Reform efforts. Activists and progressive lawmakers are pushing for legal reforms, but face significant resistance from conservative elements in society and government. The slow pace of change leaves many Moroccans vulnerable to legal repercussions for their sexual choices.

5. Women's voices: Breaking the silence on sexual experiences and frustrations

"By speaking up, by telling their stories, women employ one of their most potent weapons against widespread hate and hypocrisy: words."

Sharing experiences. More Moroccan women are speaking out about their sexual experiences, desires, and frustrations. This openness is challenging long-held taboos and fostering a new dialogue around female sexuality.

Diverse perspectives. The book presents a range of women's voices:

• Sexually liberated urban professionals
• Rural women bound by tradition
• LGBTQ+ individuals navigating a hostile environment
• Survivors of sexual violence and abuse

Empowerment through storytelling. By sharing their stories, these women are:

• Challenging societal norms
• Creating solidarity among women
• Educating others about the realities of female sexuality in Morocco

6. The impact of religion: Islam's complex relationship with sexuality

"Islam's spiritual message is one of emancipation."

Historical context. Early Islamic texts and traditions often portrayed a more open and positive attitude towards sexuality than contemporary interpretations suggest. This disconnect highlights the influence of cultural and political factors on religious interpretation.

Conservative interpretations. Many contemporary religious leaders in Morocco promote a restrictive view of sexuality, emphasizing:

• Prohibition of premarital sex
• Strict gender segregation
• Condemnation of homosexuality

Progressive voices. Some Islamic scholars and thinkers are advocating for more liberal interpretations of religious texts, arguing that Islam is compatible with sexual freedom and gender equality. These voices face significant opposition but are slowly gaining traction.

7. LGBTQ+ experiences: Navigating homosexuality in a conservative society

"I don't define myself as 'gay'. Actually, I don't have an identity: I've no gender or sexual orientation. I have never confined myself to these categories."

Legal and social stigma. LGBTQ+ individuals in Morocco face significant challenges:

• Criminalization of homosexual acts
• Social ostracism and family rejection
• Limited access to support services
• Risk of violence and discrimination

Underground communities. Despite these obstacles, LGBTQ+ Moroccans have formed resilient communities, often using the internet to connect and support each other.

Gradual shifts. There are signs of slowly changing attitudes, particularly among younger, urban Moroccans. However, widespread acceptance of LGBTQ+ identities remains a distant goal in Moroccan society.

8. Sexual education: A critical gap in Moroccan upbringing

"I grew up with the idea that love leads automatically to sex and that every demonstration of love is about sex."

Lack of formal education. Morocco's education system provides little to no formal sexual education, leaving young people ill-equipped to navigate their sexuality safely and responsibly.

Consequences of ignorance. This lack of education leads to:

• Misinformation and myths about sex and reproduction
• Increased risk of sexually transmitted infections
• Unplanned pregnancies and unsafe abortions
• Difficulty in forming healthy relationships

Alternative sources. In the absence of formal education, young Moroccans often turn to:

• Peers for (often inaccurate) information
• Pornography, which can distort expectations
• The internet, which provides a mix of reliable and unreliable information

9. The role of technology: How the internet is reshaping sexual discourse

"Thanks to Facebook, younger people don't have the same relationship with what's forbidden or taboo."

Access to information. The internet has provided Moroccans with unprecedented access to information about sex and sexuality, challenging traditional sources of knowledge and authority.

Online communities. Social media and forums have created spaces for Moroccans to:

• Discuss taboo topics anonymously
• Connect with like-minded individuals
• Access support and resources

Changing norms. Online exposure to global perspectives is gradually shifting attitudes towards sexuality, particularly among younger Moroccans. However, this change is also provoking backlash from conservative elements in society.

10. Activism and change: The slow march towards sexual liberation

"We are in the midst of lancing more than one boil. Before, we didn't even talk about it."

Growing movements. Activists, journalists, and artists are increasingly challenging sexual taboos and advocating for reform. Their efforts include:

• Campaigns for legal changes (e.g., decriminalization of premarital sex)
• Public discussions of previously taboo topics
• Creation of art and media addressing sexuality

Obstacles to progress. Reform efforts face significant challenges:

• Resistance from conservative religious and political forces
• Deep-rooted cultural attitudes
• Fear of social and legal repercussions among potential supporters

Signs of change. Despite these challenges, there are indications of gradual shifts in attitudes and practices, particularly in urban areas and among younger generations. The pace of change is slow, but the direction appears to be towards greater openness and freedom in sexual matters.

Last updated: January 24, 2025