Hormones for the Girls

In a near-future Midwest devastated by a mysterious contagion, hormones—especially estrogen—are tightly rationed and have become a form of currency and survival. Trans women, blamed for the outbreak, are forced to the margins, scavenging for black-market hormones produced by genetically modified pigs. The Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys), a trans woman, navigates a world where gender, survival, and power are inextricably linked, relying on dangerous men like Keith for her supply. The scarcity of hormones and the social stigma create a tense, desperate environment where every transaction is fraught with risk and humiliation, and the lines between gender, identity, and survival blur.

T4T: Trans for Trans

The concept of "t4t"—trans for trans—emerges as both a romantic and political ethos among trans women. Lexi, a charismatic and sometimes abrasive leader, champions the idea that trans women should love and support each other above all else. Yet, the reality is more complicated: old wounds, jealousy, and shame persist. The Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s relationship with Lexi is fraught with longing, rivalry, and the pain of exclusion. T4T becomes a symbol of both utopian hope and the messy, often cruel reality of community, where solidarity is as likely to fracture as to heal.

The Pig Vaccine Plot

A radical plan is hatched: Raleen, a brilliant but troubled trans scientist, develops a vaccine based on a pig castration drug that, when injected, causes the human body to attack its own sex hormones. Lexi and Raleen test it on themselves, then forcibly inject the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys), making her "Patient Zero." The twist: the final version is contagious, spreading through antibiotic-resistant bacteria. The goal is to create a world where everyone, cis or trans, must choose their gender and rely on external hormones. The act is both revenge and revolution, a desperate bid to upend the gender order by making everyone trans, but it also unleashes chaos and guilt.

Patient Zero's Scar

The Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) is forcibly injected and becomes the first contagious carrier. The emotional fallout is immediate: rage, disbelief, and a sense of irreversible transformation. Raleen confesses the truth—there is no cure, and the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) will spread the condition to others. The scar from the injection becomes a symbol of both victimhood and complicity, as the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) grapples with the knowledge that she is now the vector for a new world order, one built on forced transition and the collapse of old gender certainties.

Seattle's Contagion Day

As the contagion spreads, Seattle's trans community is both ground zero and a microcosm of the world's new reality. Old friendships and alliances are tested. Lexi and the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s relationship, once intimate, is now defined by betrayal and regret. The city's queer spaces become sites of both refuge and conflict, as trauma, anger, and the need for belonging collide. The Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s attempts to find love and safety are continually undermined by the violence and suspicion that now define trans life in the post-contagion world.

Love, Betrayal, Survival

The narrative flashes back to earlier, more innocent times: the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s failed relationships with cis partners, the loneliness that drove her to Lexi, and the complicated dynamics of trans love. Sex, shame, and the longing for validation are ever-present. The Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s inability to fully accept or reciprocate Lexi's love becomes a source of lasting regret, while Lexi's own wounds and self-destructive tendencies mirror the broader struggles of the community. Survival is not just physical but emotional, as every connection carries the risk of betrayal or abandonment.

Stag Dance: Gender Masquerade

In a mythic, Western-inflected interlude, a logging camp stages a "stag dance" where men don triangles of fabric to play at being women, and courtship rituals are upended. The Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys), a giant, ugly axeman known as "Babe," dons the triangle, seeking to be desired as a woman. Rivalries, jealousies, and moments of tenderness play out in a world where gender is both performance and deep need. The dance becomes a metaphor for the longing to be seen, loved, and made whole, even in the most inhospitable circumstances.

The Agropelter's Curse

The camp is haunted by the legend of the Agropelter, a supernatural figure blamed for mysterious deaths. The Agropelter becomes a symbol of the monstrousness projected onto those who transgress gender norms. In a fevered, hallucinatory climax, the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) is shot and exiled, blamed for the camp's downfall. The Agropelter's curse is revealed as the violence society inflicts on those who refuse to conform, and the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s transformation into the Agropelter is both punishment and liberation—a monstrous, vengeful, and finally self-possessed figure.

The Chaser: Teenage Obsession

A coming-of-age story unfolds: a teenage boy's obsessive, secretive relationship with his effeminate roommate, Robbie. Their sexual encounters are fraught with shame, power imbalances, and the fear of exposure. The Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s inability to accept or reciprocate Robbie's love leads to betrayal and social exile. The dynamics of desire, gender, and cruelty are laid bare, showing how early experiences of shame and longing shape adult identity and relationships.

Farm Crew and the Piglet

On a school farm, the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) and Robbie are forced to kill a wounded piglet. The act is botched, leading to prolonged suffering and a cascade of guilt and blame. The incident becomes a crucible for the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s emerging sense of self—as both victim and perpetrator, as someone capable of violence and remorse. The piglet's death echoes through the narrative, a symbol of innocence lost and the ways in which cruelty is both inflicted and internalized.

Violence, Shame, and Exile

The aftermath of the piglet's death spirals into a disciplinary crisis. The Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) is accused of assault, both on the animal and on Robbie, and is ultimately expelled. Robbie's silence—his refusal to defend or condemn—becomes its own form of power, leaving the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) isolated and shamed. The expulsion is both literal and metaphorical: a casting out from community, family, and the possibility of redemption. The scars of this exile shape the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s future relationships and sense of self.

Vegas Masker: Fetish and Fantasy

In a contemporary interlude, the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) attends a cross-dresser and trans party in Las Vegas, where she encounters Felix ("The Masker"), a "masker" who fetishizes femininity through silicone suits and roleplay. Their relationship is a swirl of fantasy, power games, and betrayal. The lines between fetish and identity, performance and reality, blur. The Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) is both drawn to and repelled by Felix ("The Masker")'s ability to become anyone, to wear and shed masks at will. The encounter forces her to confront her own desires, fears, and the ways in which trans identity is policed both from within and without.

Sally's Sisterhood

Sally, an older trans woman and former DEA agent, becomes a mentor and protector to the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys). Fiercely proud of her womanhood, Sally draws sharp lines between "real" trans women and fetishists like Felix ("The Masker"). Her sisterly care is both nurturing and suffocating, as she tries to shepherd the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) toward a "proper" transition and acceptance. The generational divide between Sally's hard-won womanhood and the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s more fluid, ambivalent identity highlights the tensions within trans community—between assimilation and subversion, safety and risk.

Forced Femme Fantasies

The Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s inner life is shaped by forced feminization erotica—a genre of stories where men are made into women, often against their will, and come to love it. These fantasies are both a source of pleasure and shame, a way to explore desire and a trap that keeps the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) from fully embracing her own agency. The line between fantasy and reality blurs, as real-life encounters with men like Felix ("The Masker") echo the scripts of these stories, for better and worse.

Betrayal on the Party Bus

A climactic confrontation unfolds on a party bus in Vegas. Sally enlists the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) in a plot to have Felix ("The Masker") arrested for wearing a mask in a casino, exploiting legal technicalities and community divisions. The Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys), torn between loyalty to Sally and desire for Felix ("The Masker"), ultimately betrays Sally, leading to her public humiliation and arrest. The scene is a microcosm of the book's larger themes: the impossibility of pure solidarity, the ways in which desire and shame drive us to hurt those we love, and the high cost of belonging.

The Triangle's Power

Throughout the narrative, the triangle—a simple piece of fabric worn at the crotch—becomes a potent symbol of gender, desire, and the longing to be seen. In the stag dance, it marks the wearer as a woman to be courted; in the present, it is a badge of both pride and vulnerability. The triangle's power lies in its ability to transform the wearer, to make visible the invisible, to demand recognition and love. Yet, it is also fragile, easily torn, and the source of both joy and pain.

Apologies and Aftermath

In the aftermath of betrayal and violence, the characters seek apologies and forgiveness, but the wounds run deep. The Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) and Lexi confront their shared history, their failures to love and protect each other, and the ways in which shame and pride have kept them apart. The possibility of reconciliation is real but limited; the scars of the past cannot be erased, only acknowledged and carried forward.

Endings and New Beginnings

The book ends with a sense of hard-won survival. The world is irrevocably changed, but the characters persist—scarred, wiser, and still searching for love, belonging, and a place to call home. The lessons of the past—about the dangers of shame, the necessity of solidarity, and the power of self-acceptance—linger, offering hope that even in a broken world, new beginnings are possible.

Characters

The Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)

The central figure of the book is a trans woman whose journey spans post-apocalyptic survival, mythic tall tales, and contemporary queer life. She is marked by shame, longing, and a deep desire to be seen and loved as a woman. Her relationships—with Lexi, Robbie, Sally, Felix ("The Masker")—are fraught with betrayal, regret, and the search for belonging. Psychologically, she is both victim and perpetrator, capable of cruelty and tenderness, haunted by the scars of exile and the hope of transformation. Her development is a slow, painful movement toward self-acceptance, even as she remains deeply ambivalent about her own desires and worth.

Lexi

Lexi is a forceful, visionary trans woman who dreams of a world where trans girls love and protect each other (t4t). She is both inspiring and infuriating, capable of great generosity and deep cruelty. Her relationship with the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) is central: once lovers, now estranged, their bond is defined by mutual shame, longing, and the inability to fully accept or forgive each other. Lexi's psychological complexity lies in her mix of bravado and vulnerability, her need to be both included and in control, and her deep wounds from a world that refuses to see her.

Raleen

Raleen is a trans woman and molecular biologist whose invention of the pig-based vaccine sets the plot in motion. She is socially awkward, often overlooked, and driven by a mix of revenge, idealism, and desperation. Her actions—testing the vaccine on herself and others, unleashing a contagious gender revolution—are both heroic and monstrous. Raleen embodies the dangers and possibilities of trans ingenuity in a hostile world, and her psychological profile is one of isolation, longing for recognition, and the tragic consequences of unchecked ambition.

Sally

Sally is an older trans woman, a former DEA agent and professional bowler, who becomes a mentor and "big sister" to the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys). She is fiercely proud of her womanhood, quick to draw boundaries between "real" trans women and fetishists, and deeply invested in the idea of sisterhood. Sally's psychological complexity lies in her mix of nurturing care and rigid gatekeeping, her loneliness, and her need to protect the next generation from the pain she has endured. Her relationship with the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) is both loving and suffocating, a source of strength and conflict.

Felix ("The Masker")

Felix ("The Masker") is a cis man who fetishizes femininity through silicone masks and roleplay. He is seductive, manipulative, and ultimately dangerous—a figure who both fulfills and exploits the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s fantasies. Felix ("The Masker")'s psychological profile is one of compartmentalization: he maintains a "normal" life as a doctor and family man, while indulging his desires in secret. His ability to become anyone, to wear and shed identities at will, makes him both alluring and terrifying—a symbol of the dangers of desire unmoored from empathy or accountability.

Robbie

Robbie is the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s teenage roommate and first love/obsession. Soft, pretty, and effeminate, Robbie is both victim and manipulator, wielding his vulnerability as a form of power. His refusal to defend or condemn the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) after their relationship implodes becomes a source of lasting shame and exile. Robbie's psychological complexity lies in his ability to both crave and reject intimacy, to be both wounded and wounding, and to haunt the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s sense of self long after their relationship ends.

Keith

Keith is a post-apocalyptic "T-slab" farmer who controls the black-market hormone supply. He is aggressive, misogynistic, and oblivious to the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s true identity. Keith represents the dangers and humiliations faced by trans women in a world where survival depends on the whims of men like him. Psychologically, he is both a figure of power and a symbol of the violence that underpins gender hierarchies.

Lisen

Lisen is a beautiful, saucy, and enigmatic figure in the stag dance narrative. Desired by all, she is both rival and mirror to the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys), embodying the longing to be seen as beautiful and the pain of being overlooked. Lisen's psychological complexity lies in her ability to wield her desirability as both shield and weapon, and in her own vulnerability beneath the surface.

Daglish

Daglish is the charismatic, dangerous leader of the logging camp in the stag dance. He is both protector and predator, capable of tenderness and violence. His relationships with both the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys) and Lisen are marked by power imbalances, longing, and betrayal. Daglish's psychological profile is one of authority, secrecy, and the inability to fully love or be loved.

Stag Dance Camp Jacks (Schuyler, Frohms, Mikkels, etc.)

The various men of the logging camp serve as a chorus, embodying the rough, competitive, and often cruel world of masculinity. They are both obstacles and objects of desire, their attitudes toward gender and difference shaping the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s journey. Psychologically, they represent the spectrum of male responses to transgression: from violence and mockery to moments of unexpected tenderness or solidarity.

Plot Devices

Nonlinear Narrative and Genre Shifts

The book is structured as a series of interlinked novellas, each with its own genre and tone: post-apocalyptic survival, tall tale, coming-of-age, contemporary queer drama. This nonlinear, fragmented approach allows the author to explore trans experience from multiple angles, highlighting the ways in which identity is constructed, deconstructed, and reconstructed over time. The shifts in genre and perspective mirror the instability and fluidity of gender itself.

Symbolism of the Triangle

The triangle—a piece of fabric worn at the crotch—recurs as a symbol of gender, desire, and the longing for recognition. It is both a badge of pride and a source of vulnerability, capable of transforming the wearer and marking them for both love and violence. The triangle's power lies in its ability to make visible what is usually hidden, to demand acknowledgment, and to catalyze both joy and pain.

Foreshadowing and Folklore

The use of folklore (the Agropelter, tall tales, murder ballads) foreshadows the violence and exile that await those who transgress gender norms. These stories within stories serve as both warnings and mirrors, reflecting the ways in which society creates monsters out of those it cannot understand or accept. The Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s transformation into the Agropelter is both a fulfillment of the curse and a reclamation of power.

Forced Feminization and Erotic Fantasy

The motif of forced feminization—both in the Protagonist ("Babe"/Zoey/Krys)'s inner life and in her relationships with men like Felix ("The Masker")—serves as a lens for exploring the complexities of trans desire

Last updated: June 4, 2025