Stop Asking Questions

1. Master High-Impact Conversation Techniques for Better Interviews

Interviewing is more than just asking questions.

Conversation Superpowers. Mastering high-impact conversation techniques can transform interviews and daily interactions. These techniques are designed to move beyond superficial exchanges, creating deeper, more meaningful connections. They provide quick wins and can be applied in various settings, from formal interviews to casual conversations.

Actionable Tips. These techniques include active listening, empathy, and strategic questioning. They help interviewers navigate challenging conversations, encourage vulnerability, and uncover valuable insights. By mastering these skills, interviewers can create an environment where guests feel comfortable sharing their stories and experiences.

Beyond Interviews. The benefits of these techniques extend beyond formal interviews. They can improve communication in personal relationships, professional settings, and social interactions. By becoming a skilled conversationalist, you can build stronger connections, foster deeper understanding, and create more meaningful experiences.

2. "What's a Win for You?" Establishes Mutual Goals

Asking someone about their goals reassured them that I cared about their needs and that I’d work with them to reach those goals.

Aligning Agendas. Asking "What's a win for you?" at the start of an interview sets a collaborative tone. It shows the guest that you value their objectives and are willing to work together to achieve them. This question helps align the interviewer's and interviewee's agendas, creating a more productive and enjoyable conversation.

Building Trust. This question demonstrates respect and empathy, fostering trust between the interviewer and the guest. It reassures the guest that the interview will be mutually beneficial, reducing defensiveness and encouraging openness. By understanding the guest's goals, the interviewer can tailor the conversation to meet their needs.

Variations of the Question. There are several variations of this question, including:

• "What's your #1 goal for this interview?"
• "What would make your team happy to hear us talk about?"
• "Why did you agree to do this interview?"
• "How can I make this interview as useful for you as it will be for me and my listeners?"

3. Join the Resistance to Unlock Vulnerability

“Join the resistance, Andrew.”

Embrace Resistance. When interviewees resist being open, pushing harder often backfires. Instead, "join the resistance" by agreeing with their reluctance. This unexpected approach can disarm them and encourage them to share more.

Therapeutic Technique. This technique is borrowed from therapy, where resistance is a common phenomenon. By acknowledging and accepting resistance, the interviewer creates a safe space for the interviewee to open up. This approach can be particularly effective when dealing with sensitive or personal topics.

Examples of Joining the Resistance:

• If they say, "I never failed," respond with, "It's amazing to talk to someone who always got everything right."
• If they say, "I'm not a worrier," respond with, "I don't usually get to talk to people who are 100% confident."

4. Look for Shoved Facts to Uncover Hidden Passions

He was dying to talk about it because it was a big issue for him.

Unintentional Revelations. "Shoved facts" are details that people push into conversations, often out of context, signaling a desire to discuss them. Recognizing these shoved facts can lead to deeper, more meaningful conversations. It's similar to a Freudian slip, where a slip of the tongue may represent an unconscious wish or internal train of thought.

Identifying Shoved Facts. These facts are often personal or emotional, and they may seem out of place in the conversation. Pay attention to details that people emphasize or repeat, even if they don't seem directly relevant to the topic at hand.

Example. If someone mentions their divorce when discussing traffic, it may indicate a desire to talk about their personal struggles. By acknowledging and exploring these shoved facts, interviewers can uncover hidden passions and create more impactful interviews.

5. Reciprocate to Build Trust and Transparency

If you want people to be open with you, you need to be willing to share first, and to do it without an expectation for immediate reciprocation.

Sharing Creates Safety. Reciprocation involves sharing personal details to encourage interviewees to open up. By being vulnerable, the interviewer creates a safe space for the guest to share their own experiences. This technique helps build trust and transparency, leading to more authentic and meaningful conversations.

Balanced Sharing. It's important to strike a balance between sharing and listening. The goal is not to dominate the conversation but to create an atmosphere of mutual exchange. A revealing sentence or two about yourself can be enough to encourage the interviewee to open up.

Example. If an interviewee talks about their failures, share a story about your own struggles. This shows that you're willing to be vulnerable and creates a sense of connection.

6. Pre-Interview to Prep Guests for Excellence

I want to make sure you sound good.

Story Gathering. The pre-interview is a crucial step in preparing for a successful interview. It involves talking with the guest before the recording to discuss their stories and experiences. This helps them remember important details and articulate their thoughts clearly.

Avoiding Rehearsal. It's important to avoid letting the guest tell their full story during the pre-interview. Instead, gently interrupt them and explain that you want the story to sound fresh during the actual interview. The goal is to gather information, not to rehearse the conversation.

Benefits of Pre-Interviewing:

• Helps guests remember important details
• Identifies potential problems or sensitive topics
• Builds rapport and trust between the interviewer and the guest

7. Structure Interviews Using Proven Storytelling Frameworks

Great interviewers are great storytellers.

Guiding the Narrative. Structuring interviews using proven storytelling frameworks can make them more engaging and impactful. These frameworks provide a roadmap for the conversation, helping the interviewer guide the guest through a compelling narrative.

The Hero's Journey. One popular framework is the Hero's Journey, which involves taking the audience through the hero's ordinary world, call to adventure, trials, and eventual triumph. This structure can be adapted to fit a variety of interview topics and guests.

How-To Structure. Another effective framework is the "how-to" structure, which involves breaking down a complex topic into actionable steps. This structure is particularly useful for interviews that aim to teach the audience a new skill or concept.

8. Research Deeply to Guide Meaningful Conversations

They need you to strive for a deeper understanding than they would reach on their own.

Beyond Surface Level. Thorough research is essential for conducting meaningful interviews. It involves going beyond basic facts and delving into the guest's background, experiences, and perspectives. This allows the interviewer to ask informed questions and guide the conversation towards valuable insights.

Research Components:

• Data: Basic facts and statistics about the guest and their work
• Timeline: A chronological overview of the guest's career and accomplishments
• Basic Concepts: A concise summary of the guest's area of expertise
• The Hook: A compelling angle or theme for the interview
• Pre-Interview Notes: Key takeaways from the pre-interview conversation
• Additional Research: Excerpts from articles, blog posts, and social media

Phone Calls. In addition to online research, making phone calls to people who know the guest can provide valuable insights and perspectives. These conversations can uncover hidden stories and help the interviewer prepare more effectively.

9. Share Your "Why" to Inspire Deeper Engagement

Give people a heartfelt reason to help you.

Transparency and Motivation. Sharing your "why" involves explaining your motivations and goals to the interviewee. This can help them understand your perspective and become more invested in the conversation. By giving people a heartfelt reason to help you, you can inspire deeper engagement and create a more collaborative atmosphere.

Personal Connection. Sharing your "why" can also help build a personal connection with the interviewee. By revealing your own vulnerabilities and aspirations, you create a sense of trust and encourage them to do the same. This can lead to more authentic and meaningful conversations.

Example. Explain why you're interested in interviewing them and what you hope to achieve with the conversation. This shows that you're not just going through the motions but are genuinely invested in their story.

10. Land Great Guests by Understanding Their Motivations

I wanted to record an interview so good that decades from now when your great-great-grandkids wonder how you built your business, they’ll come listen to what we record today.

Motivated Moments. Landing great guests often involves understanding their motivations and timing your requests accordingly. Look for "motivated moments," such as when they're launching a new book or product, and tailor your pitch to align with their goals.

Beyond Fame. While it's tempting to pursue superstar guests, remember that lesser-known individuals can often provide more relatable and insightful stories. Focus on finding guests who resonate with your audience and whose experiences align with your interview goals.

Community Connection. Tap into niche communities where your audience hangs out to identify potential guests. These communities can provide a wealth of untapped talent and perspectives.

11. Say No to Maintain Quality and Focus

You can’t force each of these techniques into a conversation.

Quality Control. Learning to say "no" is essential for maintaining the quality and focus of your interviews. Not every potential guest is a good fit, and it's important to be selective in order to deliver the best possible content to your audience.

Depersonalize Rejection. When turning down a guest, depersonalize the rejection by blaming an outside force, such as your audience or your higher purpose. This can help soften the blow and avoid damaging relationships.

Example. "I admire what you have planned for your company, but when I interview founders of smaller companies, my audience complains and sends me angry emails. It’s not worth it for you and me to get that kind of treatment."

12. Promote Guests Effectively to Build Relationships

I’m sorry to interrupt, but I really want to get into the details of this.

Mutual Benefit. Promoting your guests effectively is not only a way to thank them for their time but also a way to build stronger relationships. By helping them reach a wider audience, you create a sense of reciprocity and goodwill.

Beyond the Interviewee. Look for opportunities to promote your guests beyond their own efforts. Reach out to their investors, mentors, and other supporters who have a vested interest in their success.

Authenticity. Be genuine in your promotion efforts. Share the interview because you believe it's valuable to your audience, not just because you feel obligated to do so.

Last updated: March 29, 2025