The 12 Bad Habits That Hold Good People Back

1. Recognize and overcome self-sabotaging behavior patterns

"Loose Lips Sink Ships."

Self-awareness is key. Many professionals unknowingly engage in behaviors that hinder their career progress. These patterns, such as avoiding conflict, perfectionism, or chronic worrying, often stem from deep-seated psychological issues or past experiences.

Identify your patterns. Common self-sabotaging behaviors include:

• Never feeling good enough
• Seeing the world in black and white
• Pushing too hard and burning out
• Avoiding necessary confrontation
• Running roughshod over others
• Rebelling against authority without cause
• Always swinging for the fence instead of making steady progress

Take action to change. Once you've identified your patterns, seek feedback from trusted colleagues, practice self-reflection, and consider professional coaching or counseling to develop strategies for overcoming these career-limiting habits.

2. Develop emotional intelligence and perspective-taking skills

"Empathy, then, not only leads to insight and greater appreciation for others, but is a competitive advantage as well."

Emotional intelligence is crucial. The ability to recognize and manage your own emotions, as well as understand and influence the emotions of others, is a key factor in professional success. This skill set allows you to navigate complex interpersonal dynamics and make better decisions.

Practice perspective-taking. To improve your emotional intelligence:

• Observe others' body language and tone of voice
• Listen actively without interrupting or jumping to conclusions
• Ask questions to understand others' motivations and concerns
• Consider how your actions and decisions might affect different stakeholders
• Reflect on your own emotional reactions and biases

By honing these skills, you'll become more effective at building relationships, resolving conflicts, and leading teams.

3. Navigate authority dynamics and power structures effectively

"Authority is closely related to power, but the two are not the same. Power, as we discuss in the next chapter, is often confused with dominance or status, but at its root it is neither of these. Power, defined most succinctly by Aristotle, is the capacity to act."

Understand power dynamics. Every organization has formal and informal power structures. Recognizing these dynamics is essential for career advancement and effective leadership. Power isn't inherently good or bad; it's a tool that can be used responsibly or abused.

Develop your power skills. To navigate authority effectively:

• Identify key decision-makers and influencers in your organization
• Build strategic relationships across different levels and departments
• Learn to use your authority judiciously and ethically
• Practice assertiveness without aggression
• Understand when to compromise and when to stand firm

Remember that power and influence often come from your ability to add value, solve problems, and build trust, not just from your formal position.

4. Balance ambition with realistic expectations and self-awareness

"The coulda-beens we have worked with are among the most anguished people we know. They deserve not our collective scorn, but our compassion."

Ambition is a double-edged sword. While drive and high expectations can fuel success, unrealistic ambitions or a constant need to prove oneself can lead to chronic dissatisfaction and career stagnation. It's crucial to find a balance between striving for growth and accepting your current reality.

Cultivate healthy ambition. To avoid the pitfalls of excessive ambition:

• Set challenging but achievable goals
• Celebrate small wins and incremental progress
• Develop a growth mindset that values learning over perfection
• Recognize that career paths are rarely linear
• Regularly reassess your goals and adjust as needed

Remember that success is subjective and personal. Define what success means to you, rather than constantly comparing yourself to others or societal expectations.

5. Cultivate adaptability and resilience in the face of change

"When times of great change, many, perhaps most, people do just the wrong thing: they try to cling to what they have and what they know."

Change is inevitable. In today's rapidly evolving business landscape, the ability to adapt to new circumstances and bounce back from setbacks is crucial. Professionals who resist change often find themselves left behind, while those who embrace it can uncover new opportunities.

Build resilience and flexibility. To thrive in uncertain times:

• Develop a growth mindset that sees challenges as opportunities to learn
• Stay current with industry trends and continuously update your skills
• Build a diverse network that can provide support and new perspectives
• Practice stress management techniques to maintain emotional equilibrium
• Learn from failures and setbacks, viewing them as valuable experiences

Remember that adaptability is a skill that can be developed with practice. Start by embracing small changes in your routine to build your comfort with uncertainty.

6. Master communication and boundary-setting in professional relationships

"People who lack boundaries recognize neither the concrete barriers of the highly structured company nor the subtle signposts of the less formal organization."

Effective communication is key. Clear, assertive communication and the ability to set appropriate boundaries are essential for maintaining productive professional relationships. Many career issues stem from misunderstandings or a failure to establish clear expectations.

Improve your communication skills. To enhance your professional interactions:

• Practice active listening and asking clarifying questions
• Learn to express your needs and concerns clearly and respectfully
• Develop the ability to give and receive constructive feedback
• Set clear boundaries around your time, responsibilities, and personal life
• Learn to say "no" when necessary without damaging relationships

Remember that good communication involves both speaking and listening. Strive for a balance between asserting your own needs and being receptive to others' perspectives.

7. Align personal values with career choices for long-term satisfaction

"We all need to become, as psychologist James Hillman suggests, 'naturalists of the soul,' studying and exploring our psyche's varied terrain."

Values alignment is crucial. Long-term career satisfaction comes from aligning your work with your core values and interests. Many professionals find themselves dissatisfied because they've pursued paths that don't reflect their true selves.

Discover and honor your values. To achieve greater career fulfillment:

• Reflect on what truly matters to you (e.g., creativity, security, impact)
• Identify your natural strengths and interests
• Consider how different career paths align with your values
• Seek roles and organizations that match your personal mission
• Regularly reassess your career trajectory and make adjustments

Remember that your values may evolve over time. Stay attuned to changes in your priorities and be willing to make career shifts to maintain alignment with your authentic self.

Last updated: October 3, 2024