The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help

1. Embrace vulnerability and authenticity in art and relationships

"There's a difference between wanting to be looked at and wanting to be seen."

Authenticity breeds connection. By being vulnerable and genuine in both art and personal relationships, we create deeper connections with others. This vulnerability allows us to share our true selves, fostering empathy and understanding. In the artistic realm, authenticity resonates with audiences, creating a more profound impact than polished perfection.

Vulnerability is strength. While it may feel uncomfortable, embracing vulnerability allows us to grow and connect with others on a deeper level. This applies not only to personal relationships but also to artistic endeavors. By sharing our true selves, we invite others to do the same, creating a cycle of authenticity and connection.

2. Trust your audience and let them support you

"Effective crowdfunding is not about relying on the kindness of strangers, it's about relying on the kindness of your crowd."

Build a community of support. By cultivating genuine relationships with your audience, you create a network of people invested in your success. This community becomes the foundation for crowdfunding and other forms of support.

Reciprocity in art. When artists trust their audience and provide value, the audience often responds in kind. This mutual trust creates a symbiotic relationship where both parties benefit. Examples include:

• Offering pay-what-you-want options for music or performances
• Sharing behind-the-scenes content with supporters
• Engaging with fans through social media and personal interactions

3. The power of asking and receiving without shame

"Asking is, at its core, a collaboration."

Overcome the fear of asking. Many people struggle with asking for help due to fear of rejection or appearing weak. However, asking is a natural part of human interaction and can lead to stronger relationships and better outcomes.

Graceful asking and receiving. Learning to ask for help without shame and receive it graciously is a skill that can be developed. This involves:

• Being clear and specific about what you need
• Expressing genuine gratitude for any help received
• Understanding that it's okay if someone can't or doesn't want to help
• Recognizing that allowing others to help you is a gift to them as well

4. Crowdfunding as a direct connection between artist and audience

"Crowdfunding works like this: There's years and years of authentic work, tons of nonmonetary exchanges, massive net-tightening, an endless collection of important moments."

Building relationships over time. Successful crowdfunding is not an overnight phenomenon but the result of years of cultivating genuine connections with your audience. This involves:

• Consistently creating and sharing valuable content
• Engaging with supporters on a personal level
• Being transparent about your creative process and challenges

Direct support empowers artists. Crowdfunding allows artists to bypass traditional gatekeepers and connect directly with their audience. This model:

• Gives artists more creative freedom
• Allows supporters to feel invested in the creative process
• Creates a sense of community around artistic projects

5. Redefine success beyond traditional metrics

"Everybody struggles with asking."

Success is subjective. Rather than focusing solely on financial success or fame, consider alternative measures of achievement:

• The impact your art has on individuals
• The strength of your community of supporters
• Personal growth and artistic development
• The ability to sustain a creative life

Embrace non-traditional paths. Success in the arts often doesn't follow a linear or conventional route. Be open to unconventional opportunities and measure progress by your own standards rather than external expectations.

6. Navigate criticism and hate with compassion

"When you accept somebody's offer for help, whether it's in the form of food, crash space, money, or love, you have to trust the help offered. You can't accept things halfway and walk through the door with your guard up."

Understand the source of criticism. Often, harsh criticism stems from the critic's own insecurities or misunderstandings. Approaching negative feedback with empathy can help you:

• Separate constructive criticism from baseless attacks
• Maintain your emotional well-being in the face of negativity
• Use criticism as an opportunity for growth and self-reflection

Respond with grace. When faced with hate or criticism:

• Take a step back before responding
• Look for any valid points within the criticism
• Respond with kindness and understanding when appropriate
• Know when to disengage from unproductive conversations

7. Balance personal relationships with artistic pursuits

"I think human beings are fundamentally generous, but our instinct to be generous gets broken down."

Nurture supportive relationships. Surrounding yourself with people who understand and support your artistic pursuits is crucial. This may involve:

• Communicating clearly about your needs and boundaries
• Making time for loved ones even during intense creative periods
• Finding partners and friends who respect your artistic endeavors

Set boundaries. While artistic pursuits often require intense focus and dedication, it's important to maintain a balance with personal relationships. Strategies include:

• Scheduling dedicated time for both art and relationships
• Being present and engaged when spending time with loved ones
• Involving partners or friends in your creative process when appropriate

8. Embrace imperfection and the creative process

"There is no 'correct path' to becoming a real artist. You might think you'll gain legitimacy by going to art school, getting published, getting signed to a record label. But it's all bullshit, and it's all in your head. You're an artist when you say you are."

Perfectionism hinders creativity. Accepting that imperfection is part of the creative process can lead to:

• Greater artistic output
• More authentic and relatable art
• Reduced stress and anxiety about creating

Focus on the journey. Rather than fixating on the end result, embrace the process of creating:

• Experiment with new techniques and ideas
• Learn from mistakes and setbacks
• Celebrate small victories and progress

9. The importance of community in artistic growth

"We can only connect the dots that we can collect."

Collaborate and connect. Building a community of fellow artists and supporters can:

• Provide inspiration and motivation
• Offer opportunities for collaboration and growth
• Create a support network during challenging times

Give and receive support. Actively participate in your artistic community by:

• Attending and supporting others' events
• Offering feedback and encouragement to fellow artists
• Sharing resources and opportunities
• Collaborating on projects and initiatives

Last updated: January 22, 2025