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The Art of Intimacy

The Art of Intimacy

The Space Between
by Stacey D'Erasmo 2013 144 pages
3.92
240 ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Intimacy in fiction: The space between characters

What's in that critical space between in fiction? Of what is it composed? What makes it "work" or not?

The essence of intimacy. In fiction, intimacy is not merely about characters saying or doing intimate things. It's about the textual atmosphere, a biosphere that emanates from the characters and acts upon them deeply and personally. This space between characters, where they meet, is not just the medium for intimacy but often the thing itself.

  • Key components of intimacy in fiction:
    • Textual atmosphere
    • Shared language
    • Emotional resonance
    • Unspoken connections

The writer's task is to create this space, allowing readers to feel the electricity of connection between characters. It's in this space that true intimacy is born, often more powerfully than in explicit descriptions of closeness.

2. The subjunctive as a meeting ground for characters

Meet me in the subjunctive, in a possibility. Meet me in the if.

The power of possibility. The subjunctive mood in fiction creates a unique space for characters to meet, allowing for simultaneous possibilities of occurrence and non-occurrence. This "if" space is a powerful tool for summoning desire and loss, causing readers to experience both states with equal force.

  • Functions of the subjunctive in fiction:
    • Creates hypothetical scenarios
    • Explores unfulfilled desires
    • Bridges past and present
    • Reveals characters' inner worlds

Authors like Elizabeth Bowen and William Maxwell use the subjunctive to create profound, long-lasting psychic intimacies between characters who may have only briefly met in the "real life" of the novel. This technique allows for a deeper exploration of connections and missed opportunities.

3. The world as a canvas for intimate connections

Intimacy brings a liberating knowledge of the foreign, the beyond, of the limits of the self in a much bigger universe.

Expanding consciousness through intimacy. D.H. Lawrence's approach to intimacy in fiction goes beyond personal connections, using it as a way for characters to break out of their limited perspectives and engage with a larger consciousness. This approach sees intimacy as a disturbance that wakes characters up and radically changes their perception of the world.

  • Effects of Lawrentian intimacy:
    • Decenters characters
    • Expands perception of the world
    • Challenges self-identity
    • Reveals universal truths

Lawrence's characters use their bodies to break open their psyches, accessing knowledge unavailable through other means. This approach to intimacy is not about transcendence but about profound disturbance, offering a boat out of crushing psychological and cultural localness.

4. Visual imagery as a powerful tool for conveying intimacy

Looking together united them.

The power of shared vision. Virginia Woolf's use of visual imagery in "To the Lighthouse" demonstrates how intimacy can be conveyed through shared perception. By focusing on how characters collectively view and interpret their surroundings, Woolf creates a sense of unity and connection that transcends physical or verbal interactions.

  • Woolf's techniques for visual intimacy:
    • Detailed descriptions of shared scenes
    • Characters' reactions to visual stimuli
    • Use of light and shadow
    • Metaphorical interpretations of visual elements

This approach allows readers to experience the characters' closeness through their shared engagement with the world around them. The act of looking together becomes a profound expression of intimacy, revealing the characters' inner worlds and their connections to each other.

5. The dark side of intimacy: Exploring destructive relationships

The space between, in The Secret Sharer, is a transactional one in which the shadow side of one character is sewn, Peter Pan–style, to the heels of another.

Intimacy's destructive potential. Not all intimate relationships in fiction are positive or constructive. Authors like Joseph Conrad and Nella Larsen explore the darker aspects of intimacy, where characters use closeness as a means of domination, manipulation, or self-destruction.

  • Aspects of destructive intimacy in fiction:
    • Power imbalances
    • Psychological manipulation
    • Identity erasure
    • Projection of internal conflicts

These works challenge readers to confront uncomfortable truths about human relationships and the potential for harm within intimate connections. By exploring these darker aspects, authors create complex, morally ambiguous narratives that resonate on a deeper level.

6. The evolving role of intimacy in literature

Every time one character approaches another, makes that perilous crossing into the space between, the reader knows that what happens next will be critical, it will produce a change.

Intimacy as a narrative engine. The concept of intimacy in literature has evolved over time, reflecting changing social norms and psychological understanding. While intimacy remains a powerful force in storytelling, modern writers often approach it with more complexity and skepticism.

  • Evolution of intimacy in literature:
    • From idealized romantic love to complex, ambiguous relationships
    • Increased focus on non-romantic forms of intimacy
    • Exploration of intimacy's role in self-discovery and identity formation
    • Challenging traditional narratives of love and connection

Contemporary writers are reimagining intimacy, exploring its many facets beyond romantic love and questioning its ability to provide ultimate fulfillment or transformation. This shift reflects a more nuanced understanding of human relationships and their role in narrative.

7. The reader-writer relationship: A complex intimacy

The writer is continually engaging an unknowable Other, a protean ghost.

The unseen audience. The relationship between reader and writer is itself a form of intimacy, one that is complex and ever-changing. Writers must engage with an unknown, multiple audience, creating a unique form of connection that spans time and space.

  • Aspects of reader-writer intimacy:
    • Shared imagination
    • Trust in storytelling
    • Emotional engagement
    • Intellectual exchange

This relationship can be respectful and distant, as in conventional realistic fiction, or more kinetic and acknowledged, as in works that break the fourth wall. The level of intimacy between reader and writer can significantly impact the reading experience and the interpretation of the text.

8. White space: The unspoken intimacy between text and reader

The white space, the space between in Play It As It Lays, is like the blank piece of paper that the cops give the perp in myriad television shows and movies, saying, Start writing. Tell us in your own words what happened.

The power of the unsaid. White space in fiction – both literal spaces on the page and metaphorical gaps in the narrative – creates a unique form of intimacy between text and reader. This space invites readers to participate actively in the creation of meaning, filling in gaps and making connections.

  • Functions of white space in fiction:
    • Encourages reader interpretation
    • Creates rhythm and pacing
    • Emphasizes key moments
    • Reflects characters' mental states

Authors like Joan Didion and Percival Everett use white space to create challenging, morally complex narratives that implicate readers in the story's events. This technique blurs the lines between observer and participant, creating a profound and sometimes uncomfortable intimacy between reader and text.

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FAQ

1. What is "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between" by Stacey D’Erasmo about?

  • Exploration of Literary Intimacy: The book examines how intimacy is created, represented, and experienced in fiction, focusing on the "space between" characters, readers, and writers.
  • Analysis of Craft: D’Erasmo investigates the narrative techniques and literary devices that evoke intimacy, such as the subjunctive, image, white space, and shared perspective.
  • Case Studies: Through close readings of works by authors like Virginia Woolf, D.H. Lawrence, Toni Morrison, and others, the book illustrates how different writers approach the challenge of rendering intimacy.
  • Beyond Romance: The book expands the concept of intimacy beyond romantic love, including friendships, familial bonds, fleeting connections, and even the relationship between reader and text.

2. Why should I read "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between" by Stacey D’Erasmo?

  • For Writers and Readers: The book offers valuable insights for writers seeking to craft more authentic and resonant relationships in fiction, as well as for readers interested in understanding how literature moves them.
  • Unique Perspective: D’Erasmo’s focus on the "space between" provides a fresh lens for considering character dynamics and narrative structure.
  • Literary Examples: The book is rich with examples from classic and contemporary literature, making it both a practical guide and a work of literary criticism.
  • Thought-Provoking Questions: It challenges assumptions about intimacy, sentimentality, and the limits of what can be expressed in fiction.

3. What are the key takeaways from "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between"?

  • Intimacy as Space: Intimacy in fiction is often found not in direct declarations or actions, but in the charged, ambiguous spaces between characters.
  • Narrative Techniques Matter: Devices like the subjunctive mood, shifting perspectives, and the use of image and white space are powerful tools for evoking intimacy.
  • Ambiguity and Distance: Sometimes, distance, ambiguity, and even unsayability are necessary for readers to feel the full weight of connection or loss.
  • Reader-Writer Relationship: The book highlights the complex, intimate relationship between writer and reader, mediated by the text itself.

4. How does Stacey D’Erasmo define "intimacy" in fiction in "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between"?

  • Not Just Romance: Intimacy encompasses a wide range of human connections, including friendship, familial bonds, fleeting encounters, and the reader-writer relationship.
  • Vital, Electric Space: D’Erasmo describes intimacy as the "space between"—a vital, electric zone that drives stories and produces change.
  • Earned Meaning: In literature, intimate connections must "earn their keep" by carrying meaning and speaking truth about human existence.
  • Ambiguity and Privacy: True intimacy often involves ambiguity, privacy, and the unspoken, rather than overt declarations or actions.

5. What are the main literary techniques for creating intimacy in fiction, according to "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between"?

  • The Subjunctive ("If") Mood: Using hypothetical or conditional language to evoke longing, regret, and possibility, as seen in works by William Maxwell and Elizabeth Bowen.
  • Shared Perspective and Shifting Viewpoints: Moving fluidly between characters’ perspectives to show mutual influence and emotional exchange, exemplified by D.H. Lawrence.
  • Image and Metaphor: Employing powerful images or metaphors to unite characters and readers in a shared emotional or aesthetic experience, as in Virginia Woolf’s writing.
  • White Space and Fragmentation: Utilizing gaps, ellipses, and fragmented narrative to invite the reader into the story and create a sense of complicity or participation.

6. How does "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between" use examples from other authors to illustrate its points?

  • Close Readings: D’Erasmo analyzes passages from authors like Virginia Woolf, D.H. Lawrence, Toni Morrison, and others to show how intimacy is constructed on the page.
  • Comparative Approach: The book contrasts different approaches to intimacy, such as the physicality in Lawrence versus the communal image in Woolf.
  • Diverse Genres and Eras: Examples span genres, time periods, and cultural contexts, demonstrating the universality and variability of literary intimacy.
  • Highlighting Technique: Each example is used to highlight a specific narrative device or thematic concern related to intimacy.

7. What is the significance of the "space between" in "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between"?

  • Metaphorical and Literal: The "space between" refers both to the literal distance between characters and to the metaphorical, emotional, or psychological gap that intimacy bridges.
  • Source of Tension and Change: This space is where narrative tension, transformation, and meaning are generated.
  • Not Just a Medium: D’Erasmo argues that the space between is sometimes the very substance of intimacy, not just its setting.
  • Requires Inventiveness: Writers must invent new techniques to render each unique "space between" authentically.

8. How does "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between" address the relationship between reader and writer?

  • Intimacy Through Text: The book explores how the act of writing and reading creates a unique, intimate space between author and audience.
  • White Space as Meeting Ground: D’Erasmo discusses how white space on the page and narrative gaps invite the reader to participate, interpret, and co-create meaning.
  • Complicity and Responsibility: The reader is often made complicit in the story, especially in works that challenge or unsettle, such as those by Joan Didion and Percival Everett.
  • Protean Other: The writer is always addressing an unknowable, shifting reader, making the relationship dynamic and unpredictable.

9. What role does ambiguity and unsayability play in intimacy, according to "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between"?

  • Ambiguity as Essential: Ambiguity allows for multiple interpretations and preserves the privacy and complexity of intimate experiences.
  • Unsayable Emotions: Some emotions or connections are too profound or painful to be stated directly; their power is felt through what is left unsaid.
  • Distance Enhances Meaning: Paradoxically, distance and indirectness can make intimacy more palpable and meaningful for the reader.
  • Examples in Literature: Works like Toni Morrison’s "Beloved" use unsayability and narrative distance to convey the weight of love and loss.

10. How does "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between" critique common assumptions and stereotypes about intimacy in fiction?

  • Challenges Stereotypes: D’Erasmo questions received ideas about gender, sexuality, and relationship dynamics, urging writers to look beyond clichés.
  • Warns Against Sentimentality: The book cautions against sentimental or formulaic portrayals of intimacy that flatten complexity and reduce characters to types.
  • Encourages Self-Examination: Writers are encouraged to interrogate their own assumptions and projections when depicting intimacy.
  • Advocates for Nuance: True literary intimacy requires attention to ambiguity, contradiction, and the unexpected.

11. What are some of the most memorable quotes from "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between" and what do they mean?

  • "The space between is vital, electric, and it often drives the story." — Emphasizes that the energy of fiction often comes from the charged gap between characters.
  • "That odd and powerful space between, the space where we meet, isn’t only the medium for intimacy: it is, sometimes, the thing itself." — Suggests that intimacy is not just about connection, but about the very existence of the space that allows for connection.
  • "We do not know what will happen if only we have the courage to look closely." — Encourages both writers and readers to approach intimacy with openness and curiosity, rather than preconceived notions.
  • "Making visible what, without you, I would perhaps have never seen." — Highlights the revelatory power of art and the collaborative nature of meaning-making between writer and reader.

12. What practical advice does Stacey D’Erasmo offer writers about rendering intimacy in fiction in "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between"?

  • Question Your Assumptions: Writers should examine their own beliefs and received ideas about intimacy before putting them on the page.
  • Embrace Ambiguity: Allow for uncertainty, contradiction, and the unsayable in character relationships and narrative structure.
  • Invent New Techniques: Each story’s intimacy may require unique narrative strategies—don’t rely on formulaic approaches.
  • Respect Privacy and Distance: Sometimes, what is not shown or said is more powerful than what is; leave space for the reader’s imagination and interpretation.

Review Summary

3.92 out of 5
Average of 240 ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

The Art of Intimacy receives high praise for its insightful analysis of how writers create intimacy in fiction. Readers appreciate D'Erasmo's exploration of diverse texts and her ability to illuminate subtle techniques. Many find the book thought-provoking and useful for their own writing. Some reviewers note that it's more philosophical than practical, but most agree it's a valuable addition to the Graywolf Press "Art of" series. The book's compact size and dense content inspire multiple re-readings for full appreciation.

Your rating:
4.44
33 ratings

About the Author

Stacey D'Erasmo is an acclaimed novelist and writing instructor. Her debut novel, Tea, was recognized as a New York Times Notable Book of the Year. Her second novel, A Seahorse Year, won a Lambda Literary Award and was named a San Francisco Chronicle Best Book of the Year. D'Erasmo's writing has appeared in prestigious publications such as the New York Times Magazine and Ploughshares. She currently serves as an assistant professor of writing at Columbia University, where she shares her expertise with aspiring writers. Her work in The Art of Intimacy showcases her deep understanding of literary craft and her ability to analyze complex emotional dynamics in fiction.

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