The Best Advice I Ever Got

1. Cultivate Courage and Moxie to Stand Out.

Courage is the ultimate career move.

Be bold. In a competitive world, simply showing up isn't enough; you need moxie, chutzpah, or cojones to make yourself stand out. This might mean taking unconventional steps, like Katie Couric walking into the ABC News bureau without an appointment, or Mario Batali developing a recognizable brand with orange clogs and a ponytail. It's about having the nerve to ask for what you want and believing you are an asset.

Overcome fear. Fear is a destructive emotion that can stunt growth and kill dreams. Helen Mirren was advised to "Beware of fear," while Maria Shriver suggests not being afraid of being afraid, seeing anxiety as a glimpse of daring. Bill Cosby's story of bombing onstage and being told to "send Bill Cosby" highlights how self-doubt can be your worst enemy, and overcoming it is key to performance.

Ask for it. Many people wait for opportunities to be handed to them, but Gail Collins learned that you often have to ask for what you want, even if it seems audacious, like asking to edit the school magazine alone. George Lopez, after years of quitting when things got tough, realized he had to be bold and trust his instincts to succeed in comedy. Taking chances and asking the question, as Susan Stroman did with Kander and Ebb, can lead to unexpected opportunities.

2. Build Your "Bank of Experience" Through Hard Work and Tenacity.

It’s not about the forty seconds; it’s about the four years, the time it took to get there.

Consistency pays off. Success is often the result of consistent effort over time, not just moments of brilliance. Speed skater Apolo Ohno reflects that his Olympic races were only forty seconds, but the real value was in the four years of training leading up to them. This echoes Malcolm Gladwell's idea of needing ten thousand hours to master something, like The Beatles playing together extensively before their big break.

Show up early. Michael Bloomberg attributes much of his success to showing up early, whether it was for a summer job or his first role at Salomon Brothers, which allowed him to make connections and seize opportunities. Ryan Seacrest lives by the mantra "Say yes" to opportunities, understanding that seizing the present leads to future possibilities. This proactive approach ensures you are ready when luck and hard work intersect.

Learn continuously. Hard work involves not just putting in hours but also a commitment to continuous learning and self-improvement. Jeff Immelt of GE emphasizes being humbled by what you don't know and having a passion for learning, even doing menial tasks like fixing refrigerators to understand problems firsthand. Larry King advises learning how to listen, stating you learn nothing when you are talking, highlighting the importance of absorbing information from others.

3. Persevere Through Adversity and Never Give Up.

You quit, you fail.

Embrace setbacks. Adversity is an inevitable part of life, but it can be used as an opportunity for growth. Drew Brees saw his potentially career-ending shoulder injury as a chance to come back stronger, leading him to New Orleans and a new chapter. Michelle Kwan learned early on how to fall and get back up, a lesson crucial for navigating the ups and downs of competitive skating and life.

Control your mindset. Christina Applegate, facing a broken foot before a Broadway opening, was told, "You do not have the luxury of negative thought," emphasizing the power of mindset in overcoming seemingly impossible challenges. Matthew McConaughey's father taught him the difference between "I can't" and "I'm having trouble," reframing problems as solvable rather than insurmountable. This mental resilience is key to pushing through difficulties.

Keep going. Morgan Freeman's simple lesson, "You quit, you fail," underscores the fundamental truth that giving up guarantees failure, while continuing offers a chance at success. Raúl de Molina's journey, overcoming weight bias and cultural differences, exemplifies never giving up against apparent odds. Tavis Smiley encourages learning from failures and striving to "Fail Better," seeing mistakes as integral to success.

4. Pursue Your Passion and Dreams Unreasonably.

Do what you love. This is not sappy career advice but an absolute survival strategy...

Passion fuels success. Thomas Friedman argues that doing what you love is essential because repetitive jobs are being automated or outsourced; future success lies in uniquely human creativity and passion. Ina Garten found that loving what she did at her food store made the long hours feel less like work, leading to success. Barbara Walters advises following your bliss and getting a job in that industry, starting at any level.

Think beyond profit. Biz Stone of Twitter suggests thinking about what is valuable before what is profitable, implying that pursuing meaningful work can lead to unexpected rewards. Dr. Phil encourages getting excited about your life and finding your passion, warning that focusing only on financial success can leave you with a barren soul. Alicia Keys asks, "Would you still do it if you’d never see a dime from it?" as a test of true passion.

Dare to be unreasonable. Matt Goldman, co-founder of Blue Man Group, encourages being "unreasonable" and not listening to those who say "you can't," as their unconventional idea proved successful despite skepticism. Marc Shaiman's story of dreaming of playing for Bette Midler and it actually happening highlights the power of dreaming big and being ready when opportunity strikes. Phil Stanton found inspiration for Blue Man Group in unexpected places, like his old hardware store job, emphasizing the value of paying attention to all experiences.

5. Live with Integrity and Do What Is Right.

you must always do what is right, not what is easy.

Integrity is paramount. Suze Orman's pivotal moment came when she had to choose between the easy path (doing nothing after losing her money) and the right path (reporting illegal activity), learning that doing what is right, even when difficult, is essential. Madeleine K. Albright's childhood "Egyptian Cup" lie taught her never to play hide-and-seek with the truth, as dishonesty ultimately leads to exposure and shame. Bob Schieffer's mother's rules, like "Never lie, cheat, or steal," instilled a deep sense of integrity and accountability.

Kindness and respect matter. Nia Vardalos, drawing on her Canadian and middle-child background, advocates for responding to rudeness with politeness, noting that good manners come from good parents and help navigate conflict. Jay Leno learned from his father's example of treating everyone with kindness and respect, regardless of background, emphasizing the importance of being open to other people. Whoopi Goldberg lives by the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," suggesting that treating others well can even influence your own behavior.

Listen and understand. Queen Rania Al Abdullah learned humility and the importance of seeing herself "Through Other Eyes" by her father-in-law's simple question, highlighting the value of valuing others' perspectives. Dr. Mehmet Oz learned to "Take Time to Really Listen" to his patients, realizing that wisdom is deeply ingrained in individuals, even when their choices differ from professional advice. The Jonas Brothers were taught to "Remember Where You Come From" and live with humility and gratitude, regardless of success.

6. Develop Resilience Against Criticism and Rejection.

Don’t listen to Can’t.

Block out the noise. Katie Couric faced significant criticism early in her career, being told she wasn't cut out for TV, but she chose to work harder and prove the naysayers wrong. Davis Guggenheim, despite being told he "can't" become a director due to his unimpressive academic record, chose not to listen and pursued his passion through hard work and persistence. Laura Linney advises actors, and anyone, to "Never Read Your Own Reviews," emphasizing that your own judgment of your work is what matters.

Learn from setbacks. Rejection is a common experience, but it doesn't define you. Kathryn Stockett received sixty rejections for The Help before finding an agent, illustrating that persistence in the face of repeated "no" can eventually lead to a "yes." M. Night Shyamalan finds solace in Rainer Maria Rilke's words on "Sadness," seeing it as the soul recognizing change, a way to process hurt and keep going. Soledad O'Brien learned to "Push Beyond Prejudice," using negative experiences as motivation rather than letting them fester.

Focus on your strengths. Malcolm Gladwell's observation about the Montreal Expos turning on their best player, Gary Carter, in a moment of crisis highlights the danger of abandoning your greatest asset when times get hard. Martha Stewart advises, when faced with a challenge, to "Gather the Good Things," focus on the positive, and move on, rather than dwelling on the bad
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Last updated: May 5, 2025