The Cry for Spiritual Mothers and Fathers

1. Everyone is called to be a spiritual mother or father

"Everyone is called to be a spiritual mother or spiritual father: Each of us is nurtured as a child to become a parent."

Spiritual parenting is universal. The concept of spiritual parenting is not limited to church leaders or those with formal theological training. Every believer, regardless of age or experience, is called to nurture and guide others in their faith journey. This mirrors the natural progression of life, where children grow to become parents themselves.

Spiritual parenting is relational. It involves investing time, energy, and love into the lives of others, much like natural parenting. This can take many forms, such as mentoring, discipleship, or simply being a supportive presence in someone's life. The goal is to help others grow in their faith and become mature believers who can, in turn, parent others.

Spiritual parenting is a responsibility. Just as natural parents are responsible for the growth and well-being of their children, spiritual parents are accountable for the spiritual development of those they mentor. This involves teaching, modeling, and nurturing spiritual growth in others, ultimately preparing them to become spiritual parents themselves.

2. Spiritual children are our inheritance and legacy

"Your inheritance will be all the spiritual children that you can someday present to Jesus Christ."

Eternal impact. Spiritual children represent a lasting legacy that extends beyond our earthly lives. Unlike material possessions or achievements, the lives we impact through spiritual parenting have eternal significance. This perspective shifts our focus from temporary gains to investing in people's spiritual growth.

Multiplication effect. When we invest in spiritual children, we're not just impacting one life, but potentially many generations to come. Each spiritual child has the potential to become a spiritual parent themselves, creating a ripple effect of spiritual growth and maturity throughout the body of Christ.

Examples of multiplication:

• Paul mentoring Timothy, who then mentored others
• John Wesley's "class meetings" that led to widespread revival
• Modern-day church planting movements

Divine partnership. By nurturing spiritual children, we're participating in God's plan for expanding His kingdom. This inheritance is not something we earn or create on our own, but rather a gift from God that we steward through faithful spiritual parenting.

3. Spiritual parenting involves family-type relationships as a way of life

"Spiritual parenting is a lifestyle."

Beyond programs. Spiritual parenting is not a church program or a scheduled activity, but a way of living that integrates mentoring and discipleship into everyday life. It involves opening our homes, sharing meals, and including spiritual children in our daily routines.

Authentic relationships. Like natural families, spiritual families are characterized by:

• Unconditional love and acceptance
• Open communication
• Shared experiences and memories
• Mutual support and encouragement
• Conflict resolution and forgiveness

Intentional investment. While spiritual parenting happens organically, it also requires intentional effort to nurture and guide spiritual children. This might involve:

• Regular one-on-one meetings
• Group gatherings or small groups
• Involving spiritual children in ministry opportunities
• Celebrating milestones and achievements together

4. There are three stages of growth for every believer

"There are three stages of growth for every believer."

Spiritual children. This stage is characterized by:

• New faith and excitement
• Dependence on others for spiritual nourishment
• Limited understanding of spiritual truths
• Need for constant guidance and support

Spiritual young adults. This stage involves:

• Growing independence in faith
• Ability to feed oneself spiritually
• Increased understanding of God's Word
• Developing spiritual disciplines

Spiritual parents. The mature stage includes:

• Ability to nurture and guide others
• Deep understanding of spiritual truths
• Consistent spiritual disciplines
• Responsibility for spiritual children

Progressive growth. These stages are not rigid categories but represent a continuum of spiritual maturity. Believers should be encouraged to progress through these stages, with the ultimate goal of becoming spiritual parents who can nurture others.

5. If you don't have a spiritual parent, begin by becoming one

"Don't wait until you find a spiritual mother or father—become one yourself!"

Overcome hesitation. Many people feel unqualified to be spiritual parents because they lack a personal example or feel spiritually immature. However, waiting for perfect conditions or complete spiritual maturity before mentoring others can lead to missed opportunities.

Start where you are. Begin by:

• Identifying someone who could benefit from your guidance
• Offering to study the Bible together or pray regularly
• Sharing your own spiritual journey, including struggles and growth
• Inviting them into your daily life and routines

Learn as you go. Becoming a spiritual parent is a growth process itself. As you invest in others, you'll:

• Deepen your own understanding of spiritual truths
• Develop stronger spiritual disciplines
• Gain insights from those you mentor
• Attract spiritual parents into your own life

6. Only God can meet your need for a father's love

"Nothing can replace the heavenly Father's love in our lives."

God's perfect love. While human relationships are important, they can never fully satisfy our deepest needs for love, acceptance, and security. Only God's perfect, unconditional love can meet these needs completely.

Dangers of misplaced dependence. Relying too heavily on human spiritual parents or mentors can lead to:

• Disappointment when they fail to meet expectations
• Unhealthy codependence
• Stunted spiritual growth
• Difficulty hearing God's voice directly

Balancing relationships. Healthy spiritual parenting:

• Points spiritual children to God as the ultimate source of love and guidance
• Encourages direct connection with God through prayer and Scripture
• Models dependence on God rather than self or others
• Celebrates spiritual children's growing independence and relationship with God

7. God can heal past wounds and restore His people for service

"God wants to restore those who have been wounded by abuses of authority or have been abandoned in some way."

Common wounds. Many people carry hurts from:

• Abusive or neglectful natural parents
• Controlling or manipulative spiritual leaders
• Abandonment or rejection in relationships
• Past failures or mistakes in ministry

God's healing process:

1. Acknowledge the pain and its impact
2. Forgive those who have caused harm
3. Receive God's love and acceptance
4. Allow God to redeem past experiences
5. Embrace a new identity in Christ

Restored for service. Healed individuals often become powerful ministers to others with similar wounds. Their experiences of God's restoration equip them to offer hope and guidance to those still struggling.

8. Multiple spiritual parents produce multiple spiritual parents

"Multiple spiritual parents produce multiple spiritual parents."

Diverse input. Having multiple spiritual parents provides:

• A broader range of perspectives and experiences
• Exposure to different spiritual gifts and strengths
• Protection against unhealthy dependence on a single mentor
• A more complete picture of spiritual maturity

Specialized mentoring. Different spiritual parents can focus on specific areas:

• One might excel in teaching biblical doctrine
• Another might model effective evangelism
• A third might guide in developing leadership skills

Multiplication effect. As spiritual children learn from multiple parents, they:

• Develop a well-rounded spiritual foundation
• Gain diverse tools for mentoring others
• Are better equipped to become spiritual parents themselves
• Can potentially impact a wider range of spiritual children

9. Initiate, build, and release your spiritual daughter or son

"Jesus modeled healthy and effective spiritual fathering."

Initiate relationships. Like Jesus calling His disciples:

• Be proactive in seeking out potential spiritual children
• Look for those who show hunger for spiritual growth
• Extend invitations to deeper relationship and mentoring

Build intentionally. Jesus spent three years investing in His disciples:

• Teach through both formal instruction and life example
• Provide opportunities for practical application of faith
• Offer correction and encouragement as needed
• Gradually increase responsibilities and independence

Release for ministry. Jesus sent out His disciples:

• Recognize when spiritual children are ready for greater responsibility
• Provide opportunities for independent ministry
• Offer support and guidance from a distance
• Celebrate their successes and help them learn from failures

10. Help your spiritual child make wise decisions

"God wants spiritual parents of all kinds to train those they mentor in biblical decision making."

Model good decision-making. Demonstrate:

• Seeking God's guidance through prayer and Scripture
• Considering wise counsel from others
• Evaluating potential consequences of choices
• Making decisions aligned with biblical principles

Teach decision-making skills:

• How to discern God's will
• Balancing faith and wisdom
• Considering long-term impact vs. short-term benefits
• Handling conflicting advice or opinions

Guide, don't control. Avoid:

• Making decisions for your spiritual children
• Pressuring them to choose your preferred option
• Becoming frustrated when they make different choices
• Withdrawing support if they make mistakes

Provide a safe space. Create an environment where spiritual children can:

• Openly discuss their decision-making process
• Ask questions without fear of judgment
• Learn from both successes and failures
• Develop confidence in hearing God's voice for themselves

11. Trust God and be wise in all your relationships

"Spiritual fathers and mothers are not to be dominating authority figures who coerce their spiritual children into submission."

Healthy boundaries. Establish clear expectations:

• Frequency and nature of interactions
• Appropriate levels of emotional involvement
• Respect for privacy and personal decisions
• Recognition of other important relationships

Avoid common pitfalls:

• Emotional dependency
• Financial entanglement
• Romantic or sexual attraction
• Jealousy or possessiveness
• Neglect of natural family responsibilities

Maintain accountability. Consider:

• Regular check-ins with a mature spiritual leader
• Transparency with spouse or close friends
• Clear communication about the nature of the relationship
• Willingness to adjust or end the relationship if needed

Trust God's work. Remember:

• God is ultimately responsible for spiritual growth
• Your role is to nurture, not control
• Release spiritual children to God's care and guidance
• Trust the Holy Spirit to continue the work you've begun

12. When the time is right, release your spiritual children

"When the time is right, you need to let your spiritual daughters and sons fly!"

Recognize readiness. Look for signs of maturity:

• Consistent spiritual disciplines
• Sound decision-making abilities
• Ability to teach and mentor others
• Desire for greater independence and responsibility

Gradual release:

1. Increase independent responsibilities
2. Encourage leadership in small groups or ministries
3. Provide opportunities to mentor others
4. Offer support from a distance

Celebrate new seasons. When releasing spiritual children:

• Affirm their growth and potential
• Express confidence in their abilities
• Offer ongoing support and availability
• Rejoice in their new ministries and spiritual children

Maintain relationship. Transition to a new dynamic:

• Shift from parent-child to peer relationship
• Continue to offer wisdom and support when requested
• Invite their input and perspective on your own life and ministry
• Collaborate as partners in advancing God's kingdom

Last updated: August 3, 2024